Family
by Nadie2
Summary: Sam adops Cassie. Jack adopts retou Charlie, and four more kids enter SG-1's lives. Romatic relationships are canon in the begining, but it's me so you know it will be Sam and Jack eventually. Season one through eight.
1. Prelude Families

A huge thank you to my beta Bruised Reed and to Stargate wiki and there time saving transcripts without either of which this story would suck.

Jack

_Blood on my hands. Blood on the floor. Blood on my son. The endless echo of a single shot. A thousand shots in my lifetime, but only this one echoed for hours. _

I sit up in a cold sweet. Damn. I hadn't had a dream about Charlie since the weeks after the nasty experience with a crystal form of my son. I thought I was finally leaving the nightmares behind. Not that I deserved to leave the nightmares behind. Who would have thought when I decided to live instead of die the decision was going to cause me this much pain?

I doubled over, that usually helps with stomachaches. But it didn't help with this stomachache. The problem was originating in my mind not my stomach. The image of his son, hanging on to life hour after hour resounded in his mind.

What if I had run to him faster? What if I'd greeted Charlie right after coming home instead of saying hi to Sara? What if I'd remembered to hide the key to my lock box? What if I'd talked about gun safety one more time? What if I'd never had a gun? What if I'd allowed my son to play with toy guns? What if? What if? What if I'd died on Abydos?

No, that thought…wouldn't get me anywhere. Daniel was right…it was a shame to be in a hurry to die. Death hurt. My death wouldn't hurt anyone like Charlie's death had hurt me. But all deaths hurt, and no one deserved that.

* * *

Sam

_The three of us walk around them like guards. Daniel to the left, Teal'c watching their six, and me on the right hand side. Hand in hand, father and son march toward mother. But it isn't real. It isn't really his son. He lost his son._

I wake from the dream, and move toward the window. I remember after my mom died. How most of my friends just tried to ignore what had happened to me, because they didn't know how to deal with it. Or they'd tell me stories about a dead dog or grandma. It wasn't the same. Every death was different, but the death of a mother. More crushing, more life altering.

My brother might have understood. But Mark was so angry then. Hardly ever around. He was in teenage rebellion, drinking, partying, never slowing down enough to let the knife of grief stab him.

I tried to imagine what it would be like to lose a child, but I knew before I began that my mind would not be capable of the task. I'd never had a kid. Not so much as a late period worry I might have a kid. I had a niece and nephew, and hearing that one of them was dead would make my heart clench in terror, but I knew it would be nothing compared to how a parent would feel.

Two years ago, Jack was married and coming home from missions to his son. Playing ball, fishing, loving a little boy. Now…as far as I knew he had nothing beyond the SGC.

Not that my own personal life was more interesting, but I didn't mind. Really, I don't mind. Keep telling yourself that.

Anyway, I wasn't ready for the personal life Jack occasionally ordered me to get (one of those orders I never even considered following, like 'no giggling captain'). After all it was less than two years ago I'd been engaged.

Sometimes, usually in the middle of the night like this, I wondered if I'd made the right choice breaking off my engagement with Jonas. Marriage was, after all, what was expected of me. A year ago, I'd been on track for the life everyone wanted for me. By now I'd be married, on maternity leave. I'd work a desk job until my three children were in school. I'd bake cookies, walk the dog, change diapers. Then I'd go back to my real job. The one I have now.

Why had I said no to that life? If my mother was still alive…But I didn't want my mother's life. Even temporarily. I wanted a husband, and kids, but I also wanted the Stargate, and if I had to choose…

Perhaps it wasn't possible. Maybe the eighties were a lie; maybe you couldn't have it all. Maybe in the end, someday I would have to choose between the galaxy and the cradle. Maybe I already had.

Was I wrong?

I remembered my father's face when he met Jonas. He'd hated him. Of course, my father had hated every single one of my boyfriends. My father had such high standards that no one could meet them, especially not me.

In Jonas' case of course, my father had been right, Jonas was crazy. Jonas had proved that when he declared himself God hadn't he? But…was Jonas crazy before the sun baked his brain? Maybe if I'd married him…maybe I wouldn't have ever had to point a gun in his face.

A gun I never could have fired. Did that make me a better person like Jack had said? Or just a weak soldier?

And of all the boyfriends my father had hated….Jonas was really the best. God, maybe I should give up on the happily ever after if Jonas was the sanest I'd ever dated.

* * *

Daniel

_The fire has gone out. It's so hot during the day, but as soon as the sun goes down it's freezing. I get up to stoke the fire._

_ "Husband!" she protests as she flings herself around me._

_ "Sha're," I laugh, "I was just going to start the fire."_

_ "I will keep you warm," she says pulling me closer._

_ "Sha're, we're going to freeze if you don't let me…" She stops my talking with a kiss._

_ I pull away. She groans. "Just let me take care of you Sha're, I say."_

_ "Ok, and then I'll take care of you," she says. I love that I finally know her language well enough to understand innuendoes._

As I wake up from the dream I feel unbelievably cold. No fire to stoke, and turning up the furnace is not the same.

* * *

Teal'c

_I see the bruise, but his mother doesn't, so I wait until we are alone, "Who did this to you."_

_ "I fight my own battles father."_

_ "If someone has injured you…"_

_ "I want to be as strong as you one day."_

_ "Even the strong sometimes need help."_

* * *

Cassandra

I love the harvest festival. Harvest time is always stressful. The men in the field praying the rain will hold off until they are done. Until they have another year of food and clothes and happiness secured. The woman in the kitchen producing piles of food that the hungry men will eat silently, too exhausted to notice the flavor the woman were so careful of.

Then there is the harvest festival, when the work is all done, and we know that for one more year we are safe from hunger and poverty. The music, and the dancing, and the leftovers of harvest time. And then, the late night stories. Mom always said before that I was too young for the stories. But this year she has either decided I am old enough or forgot to remind me I was too young.

Probably my brothers fault. The twins are three, in other words, old enough to try to sneak into the story telling. They are crafty enough that they absorb my mother's attention.

The old storyteller sits around the fire, wrapped in a cloak, clutching a cane she doesn't need. Her voice crackles like the fire as she begins the story.

_ At harvest time we fear the rain, the snow, the hail, the wind. For a century now nothing but the weather has the power to separate a Harkan from wealth, but it was not always so. Long ago, there was a creature that flew like the wind, and threw hailstones of fire from a building that flew through the sky._

_ Nirti was dangerous for many reasons, not the least of which was the beauty that was lovely enough to tempt, but not so lovely that she could not hide among us. She had a jewel between her eyes, and light in her eyes and in her palm. Light that could kill, or make a sleep fall upon you, or cause pain. _

_ The men who fear the rain…once feared the taker of crops. Each harvest, she came and took what she wanted, anyone who tried to stop her would be killed by the fire in her hand._

_ Until one day…when the Defender of the Weak came of age._

_ From her birth, everyone knew the Defender was different…_

"Cassandra! To bed!" Mother scolds, "You'll give yourself nightmares!"

_Clothed in a Sari, the dress my people banded a century ago when the Defender banished Nirti, hair in a tight bun. A dot on her forehead, the mark of the devil goddess. Fire comes from her hand, into my head. Pain._

_ I awake, to see her eyes focused on mine._

_ "You are no more than a nightmare," I say. Father says that talking back to your nightmares, telling them you do not fear them, this is the way to make them disappear. _

_ "I __**am**__ your nightmare dear, but I am far more than that."_

_ I am floating, in some machine with a strange colorful ladder around me, "What is this?"_

_ "I'd rather not have to render you unconscious, again," she says making her eyes flash."_

_ The machine turns off. Nirti walks toward me, and injects a shot into my arm. A strange pain shoots up my vein. I kick her in the leg, and the light from her hand makes me fall back to sleep._

I wake up in my own bed. Mom was right. I'm too young for storytelling.

* * *

"You really want to send her out to story time after the nightmare she had last night?" Mom asks Dad in disbelief.

"I think the problem was you not letting her hear the end of the story. If she'd heard the description of the Defender, she never would have been afraid. Let her hear the whole story tonight," he insists.

"Go," Mom nods to me.

_"The Defender had hair the color of sunshine, and eyes the color of ocean. She kept the hair short-like a griever. She said her hair would never grow until the world was freed from the oppression of the goddess. She learned to walk while others learned to crawl. She learned to talk when others shook the rattle. Her second harvest she went into the field to do the work of men. When she was three she climbed a tree proclaiming she was trying to reach the stars to slay the goddess. At four, she sparred with boys, and won. At five, she played bar games with the men and beat them. At six, she finished her schooling. At seven, she became the village champ in arm wrestling."_

_ "Tell the story of Kali Yuga, end of the world!" one of the boys shouts from the back._

_ "Hush child, the second night, is for the Defender of the weak," the old woman says._

_ "But soon the darkness of the sun will bring the Kali Yuga," someone protests._

_ "Child, don't let fear run your life," the woman says._

_ "You tell the tales but do not believe them?"_

_ "Accha, child, I'll tell you the story," the old woman grumbles, "The world was made during the darkness of the sun, and every twenty years the darkness returns. The Defender was born on a day of darkness, and the night she conquered Nirti was a day of darkness. The legend," the storyteller says with a slight sneer, "tells us that on the twentieth darkness after the Defender saved us…"_

"_This year," someone mutters._

_The storyteller pretends to ignore her, "a sickness will come. The sickness will cleanse Harka of rebellion. Only one will survive. One to tell the story."_

"_And the one?"_

"_Part healer, part builder, brave," she says, and on the very last second her eyes meet mine._

My mother is a healer, my father is a builder, but I am not brave.

* * *

_In my dreams she drifts over the city spreading death which sparkles like the jewel between her eyes. The sickness is coming, and I am the one. Healer, builder, brave._

I wake up with a gasp.

"Cassandra," my mother says pulling my hair away from my forehead.

"Sorry, my dreams woke you, again," I whisper.

"I was already up," she says looking at the door, "Melinda said there is sickness in her house."

"Go…I'll be alright," I assure her.

"Are you sure?" she asks, "I can wake your father."

"No," I say.

I lay awake wondering about prophesies and dreams.

* * *

"You need to rest, Alexandria," my father pleads with her.

"There are so many who are sick, I have to help as many as I can," mother insists.

"So many…everyone is sick! We should leave the city. You have often said that diseases travel by the air, if we were to go into the country, in the clean air."

"It's too late, and I'm not sure this is borne on the wind," Mom says gravely.

"You know the prophesies…" Dad begins.

"Foolishness for old women."

"The sickness with the darkness."

"I'm not willing to accept this is Kali Yuga yet. I want to believe that the world will go on. That tomorrow the sun will rise. That my children will grow up. That the world will keep turning, long after this sickness is gone."

"But fighting against Kali Yuga can make you grow tired…or sick"

"If it's Kali Yuga, I'll be sick regardless," she mutters, "and I'd rather go down fighting."

"Even if it is Kali Yuga, the world will go on fighting, and the one will carry our heritage to another world."

* * *

"Cassandra, you should rest," Mom pleads.

I shake my head, mopping her brow.

"See if…if there is someone who is not sick. Someone who can take care of you."

"I'm going to take care of you until you get better," I say.

"No one who has gotten the sickness has survived," she says. "Eight hours from first fever until…Cassandra, you should go out of town, you are not sick yet, maybe you could…maybe you could be spared if you would leave the town."

I shook my head at her, and offer her a glass of water. She takes the water and swallows painfully, "Listen, I love you," she says closing her eyes for so long that I think she has once again fallen asleep, "I'm always going to love you, but if…if you're the one." I start to protest. That is what I am most afraid of. More afraid of than death, "If you make it out of this, whether escaping to another planet like the myth or merely have immunity and survive among others…if I don't make it I want you to know, I want you to be happy. To find a family who will love you and who you will love them back."

"You're going to be ok," I tell her.

"Oh Cassandra, would that I could live for you. Watch your brothers until you find a grown up to take care of them, please."

"You're going to be ok," I repeat.

She nods her head, and I know she's lying. She's a healer, and she knows this is Kali Yuga.

* * *

Four graves in the backyard. I intended to bury the neighbors as well, but as I go from house to house I find death, more death, and death on top of death. So much death that I cannot bury it all. I leave the village.

The one.

I am the one.

Healer, builder, brave.

I am none of these things.

The one who will carry on civilization.

The one who will bear the tale.

The one who will go to a new world.

The one who will be alone.

I hide in the bushes. For days I have been nursing family member after family member. But nothing I know how to do makes a difference. Eight hours from first fever they die. Unstoppable. So tired. Sleep.


	2. Singularity

Note: We don't know much about Cassie's culture. Since the goddess of her planet is Nirti, I am assuming it has basis in Indian culture. I basically made her culture based on the Incan Valley Civilization. We don't know a whole lot about them, so when I couldn't find an answer I used modern India as a guide. Of course, the people of Cassie's culture didn't wear traditional Indian clothing and jewelry (defiantly no gold obsession). I decided it was because they rejected those cultural elements because it was associated with the goddess of destruction which they mistakenly think a mythical heroine freed them from oppression (actually just made Nirti and her experiments go underground).

Cassandra

Hunger wakes me. There is food in the village, but I have no desire to go to the village and see all that death again. I hear voices.

"They knew this would happen," a man says.

"The indigenous people?" a woman asks.

"They told me when we came here three months ago that with the darkness would come the apocalypse. It was part of their mythology. But what do we tell them? That it's just an eclipse, and there's nothing to worry about," the man says again.

I see them now. Three bodies in strange clothes which hide their whole bodies, and another man. He has a mark on his forehead in gold. It is not the mark of Nirti, but marks on the forehead are something that are forbidden for all of our people. These figures walk one by one to the dead people and attach a bit of paper to the toe of the people. I could not burry them all. They are not burying them, but perhaps in their culture (for they are not of my people) this is the way that they honor the dead. If it is honor for the dead I must steal them for my mother, and father, and brothers. I reach my hand and take one.

"Hello? Hello, it's okay. You can come out. Look, I know I must look pretty scary in the mask, but I'm not going to hurt you. It's okay," the woman's voice says looking at me. I'm not sure if I can trust her yet. What if she is only going to bring me to the giver of disease? The woman turns to one of the suit clad men, "Colonel, there's someone in the bushes and they won't come out."

A suit clad man turns to the man who is not wearing a suit, "Show 'em your face."

The one with the mark on his forehead moves toward me. He is wearing a face which shows no emotion.

The one with the suit prompts him, "Try to look friendly."

The man without the suit moves toward me in the bushes, "We will not hurt you. Please come out," he extends his hand to me, "Take my hand."

I give my hand to him, and he has a genuine smile. He reminds me, for one second of my father when he comes back from his once a month night duty guarding the harvest. He is always grave. Mom called it his warrior face. Dad always said it was a bit of a transition from guard to father.

"It is okay," the man says as he takes me back to the people in the suits.

She takes off the suit she wears.

_The Defender had hair the color of sunshine, and eyes the color of ocean. She kept the hair short-like as griever. She said her hair would never grow until the world was freed from the oppression of the goddess. She learned to walk while other learned to crawl. She learned to talk when others shook the rattle. Her second harvest she went into the field to do the work of men. When she was three she climbed a tree proclaiming she was trying to reach the stars to slay the goddess. At four she spared with boys, and won. At five she played bar games with the men and bet them. At six she finished her schooling. At seven she became the village champ in arm wrestling._

The defender has come with the darkness, with the sickness, to take me, the one, away from this world.

There is a healer here. She doesn't use herbs and teas and salves as my mother does. She uses masks made of paper, and gloves, and boxes which show lights on the front. I do not know if these things can heal the sickness. I know that my mother, as good of a healer as she was, could not heal the illness, so it is likely that this is not going to help as well. I hope the sickness will not take them as well. To be saved only to watch more death would be the worse fate.

The Defender talks to me through the mask, "It's okay. Don't worry, everything's going to be fine. Can you hear me? You're very brave."

She turns to the healer, "Can I take this mask off?"

The healer nods, and speaks some words that I do not understand.

The defender pulls off her mask and offers me a huge smile, "There, that's better, huh? You feel like telling me your name now?"

I stare ahead, thinking about how all the people who ever uttered my name are dead. That one by one these people are putting tags on the toes of my world, on people they did not know. That maybe in a way, I have died too. That there is a new me rising up. A new me which will go to a new place, and get a new family. And that my mother wants me to love someone new, and I am scared. I look away.

"That's okay. You remember my name? Samantha Carter. But you can call me Sam." The Defender is called Sam.

I take the tag and put it on myself. Cassandra is dead. Whoever I will be next…I'm not going to be Cassandra ever again.

"Oh no, no honey. You're not going to die. Why don't you just lay down and rest for awhile, okay? Okay."

I lie down. The defender tries to take the tag from me, but I do not allow her to do it.

* * *

They have decided to take me to their world. But the Defender wants to stay. I do not want to be separated from the Defender. She made our world safe from the goddess for four hundred years. I walk around and grab on to Sam's arm. I peek out at her to examine the three men that the Defender had chosen worthy of her friendship. There is the one with the gold on his forehead. A warrior, who is capable of fatherhood. There is one which knows much. And there is the who tells the Defender what to do.

"Well, you won't be staying," this one says to the Defender smiling at me.

* * *

In order to leave this world I must put on a suit that is like theirs. Sam helps me. They make the ancient ring light up, and a pool of water like the Defender's eyes explode from it, and settle into a still poll. People walk through in front of us. Sam holds one had, the one who knows much-Daniel, holds my other hand.

I stop. Healer, builder, brave. I am none of these things. Sam bends down so that I can look into her eyes, "Hey, you okay? Don't be afraid, I'll be holding your hand the whole way, all right? I know it looks kinda scary, but it's really a lot of fun," she stands up and counts, "On three. One, two, three."

They swing me in front of them through the pool. The fact that the Defender thinks of this as fun tells me more about her than anything else. It is painful. I wonder if the sickness that killed my world was like this. I worry I am going to lose the food they gave me before we left, and I feel a little bit dizzy.

There is a voice, and I don't even know where it comes from, it says, "Level one decontamination complete. Proceed with level two," as smoke or mist billows around us.

Sam takes off her helmet, shaking out the hair which first let me know she was the Defender. Then she takes off my helmet, "Hey, it's okay, okay. It wasn't so bad, was it?"

I hope I look like I agree with her. If I am not brave enough she may decide that I am not the one. She may send me back to the world where I am the only one left. I may have to live the rest of my life among the death.

* * *

The first thing I see in her world is a bathroom. Sometimes travelers come from other words, and they are often impressed with out bathrooms. From what I know of other worlds most people do not have them.

But these people put our bathrooms to shame. Our bathrooms are pipes which carry the waste down river from our village. You then leave the bathroom and go to the well where you wash your hands with lye soap. My mother was one of these that first put forth the evidence that washing your hands prevented sickness (although it did nothing to prevent the great sickness).

But they have a lever which washes the waste away in a huge sound. I want to know where it goes, since Sam has told me we are beneath a mountain and I have not seen a river yet. But my voice has not worked since my mother died, and I'm not sure I want it to work. They don't have a well, the water comes when you lift another lever, over a basin. There is soap that is liquid that comes right from a jar. Water comes when you call it from the sink. So much water they can waste it on the disposal of their waste.

* * *

Sam shows me a room, "Well, here we are. This is where you're going to stay for a little while, okay? I know it's nothing fancy, but we'll fix it up."

It is nothing like my home. We sleep on pallets on the floor. The beds in this world are high off the ground. I am a little worried that I will fall off it when I sleep. They have a table as well, this too is much higher off the ground then the tables of my world. They are so high that you need something else to sit on to reach them. If you tried to sit on the floor, and reach the table, the table would be above your head. There are empty shelves. In my house the shelves were never empty. They were filled with food, and things for healing, and clothes, and toys. I wonder if these people are very poor. If so I feel a little guilty about the food I ate earlier. But they gave it to me, and I was hungry, and then can have all of our harvest as payment, just so long as I don't have to go back to that world of death to get it for them.

I sit down on the bed. It is softer than our beds at home, perhaps this culture will have some benefits. Sam bends down in front of me, "I have to go somewhere for a little while. But I promise you I won't be gone long, okay?

I grab onto her shirt and hold on as tightly as I can, desperately.

"No, I…I have to go. But I'll be able to see you the whole time through that camera up there, see?" I look at the camera, but I don't let go. So many people have died, what if she dies as well?

"All right. I'll stay for a little while," she sits down on the bed. I grab onto her leg and move closer. She puts a hand around me. The Defender is here, everything is going to be alright when the Defender is here.

* * *

This word has toys that are soft. I have not yet seen toys that move on strings by themselves like I had in my world, but the toys are soft and sort of comforting. Sam shows me pictures of all sorts of wonderful things that are in the world, and tells me about them. She found a blanket that had color. It is softer than the blankets that are made from wool of the very best sheep. She has also brought me paint. In my world we used to draw in the dirt with sticks. But this has so much color. I like this.

"Don't you want this?" Sam asks pointing to the strange food that she has offered me. The bread is very pale. Once we traded with another culture. The rich people ate bread like that-pale, and the poor people ate bread like us-dark. We stopped trading with them, because of the way they treated their own people. My father said that people who could waste bread by taking the good things out couldn't do it without hurting others. I don't like to think about the pale bread and that I might be in a world where there are slaves. That I might even be intended to be a slave. A big difference between rich and poor, that could explain the bathrooms.

I take a bite of the strange meat. I'm going to have to get used to a lot of things if I am going to come to live in this world.

Sam sprays the meat with yellow liquid which comes out of a tube. This world is big on plastic tubes, "See, we usually put some stuff on it, like this." She takes a big bite, "See? Mmmm."

I'm drawing a picture of my world. All the dead people. All the tears. Sam takes a paintbrush and draws a person next to me in the picture, "It's me, okay? You're not alone anymore."

I look up at her, and remember what my mother said. Someday I was going to have a new family. I wonder if Sam was going to be that family.

* * *

I wake up. The pain in my chest is getting worse. At first I thought it was just because I was sad. Now I think it is something else. Sam says, "Hey. How you feeling? Listen, I have to go somewhere for a little while. But you're not going to be alone," she looks at Daniel that is standing at the door, "Daniel's going to be here the whole time. Remember Daniel?"

Daniel smiles at me, but I want Sam to stay with me, "You're very brave, remember. I'll be back before you know it."

If it is the only way to get Sam to stay with me I am going to use my voice, "Please don't go."

They look at me surprised and happy. "You feel like telling me your name?" Sam asks.

"Cassandra." I say.

Sam grins at me, "Hi, Cassandra."

"I hurt," I tell her.

"Where?" she asks.

I point to my chest.

* * *

The healer and Sam are talking about what is wrong with me. I can't follow what they are saying. But I know that I don't have the same sickness the rest of Harka had. But my chest still hurts.

Sam helps me off the table, and we start to walk across the room. Suddenly it hurts, really really bad. I cross my hands over my chest.

"What? What? What is it?" Sam demands.

I fall down.

* * *

Sam

"How is she?" Daniel asks.

"Fine, still hasn't woken up," I sigh.

"How are you?" he asks.

Damn perceptiveness.

"We almost lost her."

"I know. I was there."

Bless him. He was. He sat next to me in the observation room the whole surgery.

"I know. Thank you."

"I'm here for you Sam," Daniel says, "Anything you need."

Daniel is the perfect person to talk to, and the best part is if I tell him everything I'm thinking right now, and then change my mind, he's really not going to think any less of me.

"Daniel, I'm thinking about keeping her."

He grins, "I thought you were. That's good. And I'm willing to help you."

"I don't know," I say shaking my head, "I mean, is it really fair to her? She's already lost a set of parents, and with my job? What if she loses me as well?"

"You don't know that she's going to lose you. SG-1 actually has a pretty good record of coming home Sam. And I lost my parents in a museum, so it could happen anywhere."

"I'm sorry," I say touching his arm gently, "I lost my mom too." I sigh, "In a car accident as she took a taxi home from the airport." Well, I just proved his point for him, "I know you're right. I mean her world died, and they weren't doing anything dangerous." He smiles at me in that knowing way he has, "…but. My mom died when I was fourteen. Cassie's practically a teenager. I know less than nothing about raising a teenager."

"No parent is an expert in the beginning."

"I'm going to be gone all the time."

"Not all the time," he says smiling at me, "and I'm sure you can find someone to watch her when you're gone. A nanny if nothing else. And we'll all help you. I mean, I know less than nothing about parenting, but Teal'c seams good with kids, and the Colonel…"

"I don't know," I say shaking my head.

"Ok, but if you don't do this, it has to be for some other reason that you don't think you can. Because I know you can."

"You're a good friend, Daniel."

"Thanks, Do you want me to sit with her for awhile?" he asks.

"I want to be there when she wakes up."

* * *

Cassandra

"Listen, I love you," Mom says closing her eyes for so long that I think she has once again fallen asleep, "I'm always going to love you, but if…if you're the one." I start to protest. That is what I am most afraid of. More afraid of than death, "If you make it out of this, weather escaping to another planet like the myth or merely have immunity and survive among others…if I don't make it I want you to know I want you to be happy. To find a family who will love you and who you will love them back."

And she's dying. "Mom?" I say hoping it will bring her back.

"Hey. You okay?" Sam asks.

"I was dreaming about my mom."

"You miss your mom very much?"

It's not quite a question, it's like she already knows the answer. Still I don't want to answer. I want to make sure that I don't lose my chance at a new family, because I am missing a family that is gone. I look away, and say, "I'm tired."

"Well, you should get some rest. Don't worry, everything's going to be just fine. And when you get better, I promise you I am going to show you all kinds of really wonderful things about this planet."

She isn't mad at me. "Promise?"

"You bet," she says. I give her a hug. She looks far away and sad.

* * *

Sam

I am so not ready to be a mother. I know this because I am currently huddled under my lab bench weeping. Not that I don't have good reason for this. Turns out someone I was seriously debating adopting is a bomb. She's going to blow up. But the point is I should be figuring out a way to save her. Or I should be holding her. Or something. But right now I'm just hiding.

"Sam."

Damn it Daniel, so don't want to talk. He'll never think to look for a mature sophisticated scientist under a lab bench.

He ducks under the lab bench. Damn it! The man is freaking psychic.

"The General ordered Cassie back through the gate."

"I know."

"I can take her."

"No, I'm going to do it."

He looks at me expediently. I haven't actually moved yet. "As soon as I figure out how to drop a kid off on a planet where she is the only living human and leave her there to blow up."

"Unfortunately, I think that's going to take a hell of a lot longer than an hour and fourty-nine minutes," Daniel replies with a glance at his watch.

I start sobbing, and Daniel takes me into his arms. He doesn't say stupid lies to comfort me. He doesn't say anything. Linguists don't waste words.

* * *

I knew Daniel was going to come and get me. I really intended to walk into Cassie's room and get her, and take her to the gate. We don't have enough time for me to sit here and contemplate. But she was sleeping, and if these are her last minutes-she might as well spend them in this room (the most comfortable bed she's ever slept on, she said. It's a military bed! Wait until I get her a…no, never going to happen).

I just need to watch her sleep for awhile. Where she won't be alone. Daniel opens the door and stands beside me silently.

"How could they do this?"

"Well, to the Goa'uld, she's not as we see her. She's a tool. Her death is a very cheap way to get rid of us."

I can't help but cry. I usually can help it, "I know I'm supposed to be detached."

He looks at me with shook, "Who said that?"

Suddenly, I'm really glad this is the teammate that's with me, "Sometimes I forget you're not military."

* * *

Cassandra

Something is seriously wrong, and I don't know what it is. I do know that Sam is really worried, and can barely look at me. She is defiantly not telling me what is going on. We are dressed in the same weird suits we were wearing when we came to this planet. Suddenly I feel like I am going to…

* * *

Jack

The girl is a bomb. This little girl is going to blow up in less than an hour. The Gou'ald are…I can't even think about how much I hate them right now. But this little girl. I look over at Carter holding the unconscious Cassie. God this is going to kill her. I don't know Carter that well, but God she's a human, and…

I have to protect her. It's soon after Charlie. That's why I stayed on the planet. I didn't want to deal with this kid, until I knew she would be ok. I didn't want to get attached. So I really shouldn't be getting attached now, now that I know she's a bomb.

But Carter is already attached, and I have to try to save her from this.

"I can take her from here now, Captain."

"No Sir, that's okay," I think she's trying to spare me as much as I am trying to spare her.

Distance, military distance is exactly what I need now, "This elevator goes down thirty floors through solid rock. Takes about three minutes to get to the bottom. That gives you four minutes to start back up."

* * *

Cassandra

I wake up to see Sam holding me, she looks even more worried than she did before, I wonder what on earth is going on.

"Where are we going?"

She looks panicked, terrified, "Please, go back to sleep," she pleads.

"I'm not tired anymore." She sets me down, she's crying. Oh, no. "Are you crying?" I ask her.

She doesn't answer me, but the elevator stops. She leads me past a couple doors into a room of that weird strange rock they build things out of in their world. I bet my dad would love it. It looks like it would be easy to build things out of.

"Sit down here and rest for awhile, okay? I have to go."

My stomach does a flip flop. So not good. She's crying me and leaving me in a bare room underground, "You promised you'd never leave me alone," I remind her.

"I'll be back, okay? I'll be back," she touches my hair in the same way that my mother used to, "You're very brave, remember?"

Healer, builder, brave, "I'm very brave," I repeat.

Sam is crying, "I have to close the door."

I try to keep stay calm. I don't want to hurt her. I know that this is hard for her, "Sam?" I can't help myself from pleading. "SAM?" I shout. But it doesn't matter. The door is shut. She's gone, and I'm all alone again.

The door opens. The intercom blinks on, "Captain Carter? Captain Carter," it shouts. "Sam, do you read me?"

"Colonel, I'm staying," she says into it.

"Negative," the voice says.

"Colonel, she's awake," Sam says.

"Captain Carter, I am ordering you to get back up here, right now. Right now."

Sam grabs me close, and holds me. She's the brave one.

"Are we going to die?"

"No, we are not going to die," and I believe her. I'm calm for the first time since I saw her cry. It will be ok. Sam's got me.

"We're both very brave. I love you." I tell her.

"I love you too."

She holds me a little longer in silence, and then over the intercom I hear, "Captain Carter? Can you hear me? Sam, can you hear me?"

She lets go of me, and she runs over to the intercom, "We're okay. Nothing happened. Cassandra's fine, I'm fine. It didn't happen. I just…I couldn't leave her Sir."

Over the intercom we hear, "How did you know, Captain?"

I don't know what they are talking about, but I do know I'm safe, "It occurred to me that she first slipped into the coma when we brought her closer to the Stargate. As soon as we got her far enough away from the Stargate, she woke up. And I…knew."

"You knew," and I don't think he believes her.

Sam runs across the room, and I jump into her arm. I hold her as close to me as I can. I never want to let her go.

* * *

Sam

"How is she doing?" he asks sitting down next to me. I'm glad Jack came. With his history with his son, I didn't think he would. But I did need to talk to him before I made this decision. I mean he is the only parent I know, besides Mark and Linda, and I guess my own Dad.

"Good," I say.

"The General gave us permission to spring her. For an outing to the park in the beginning. And if that works out she can go home with someone."

"And that someone would be?"

He studies me carefully, "I was going to ask if it was going to be you, but if not we can find another temporary guardian…"

"What if I didn't want it to be temporary," I ask softly.

He grins, "I thought so Carter! Congratulations!"

"Sir, I don't…I don't know."

He looks at me again, "You'll make a great mom."

"She deserves parents that are not going to die."

"Of course she does, and as soon as we find the fountain of youth, I'll make sure her new parents or," he says pointy, "her new mom gets a sip."

"And you think you're going to be the one who will find the fountain of youth?"

"You never know, after all Danny's Grandfather spent a decade in the jungle looking for this."

"Seriously?" I ask, but as soon as I look at him I know he is very, very serious. "How exactly do you know?"

"Files, Carter," he waves his hand dismissively.

"And you try to make it look like you don't read those things," I said.

"Didn't fool you about my 'lack' of knowledge of astronomy, I figured the jig was up." He pauses, "Death is a part of life, Carter. It can't be predicted. It doesn't necessarily come to people with the most dangerous jobs. If the world worked like that your Dad would have died instead of your Mom."

I close my eyes.

"Sorry, I'll go back to pretending I don't read the files," he says.

"No, it's ok, Sir, I wanted someone to talk to this about."

"You don't need to have had good parents, or any parents at all, to be a great parent. My mom…had god awful parents. Horrific. And she was amazing. I had amazing parents, and look what Charlie got," he says throwing a pen absently across the room.

"Sir, I know you were a good father."

"Yeah," he says not looking at me, "and just how the hell do you know that?"

"Because, sir, it wouldn't hurt you as bad if you were a father who was never there. If you were my father…" I close my eyes.

"I don't know what Daniel told you about Charlie, but apparent, it wasn't enough…"

"I know he shot himself with your gun. It was an accident," I say looking at him, "You were a good dad."

"If you died, Carter, it would destroy your father," he says, "It would destroy any father, no matter how often he was there."

"Yeah, if Cassie…" I finish my sentence with just a sob.

He gives a faint smile, "See, you're already her mother, might as well make it official.

"When we met…that other version of Charlie. I tried to imagine what it was like for you, and I knew it couldn't. When I thought Cassie was going to die…and I barely knew her. I can't imagine."

"Carter…when Cassie gets older. There's going to be father daughter stuff, and when there is…you'll call me right?" and I know what he's really asking is a tangable vote of faith in his parenting abilities.

"Of course, you really think I can do it?" I ask.

"Of course," he says.

"And if I don't know what to do?"

"I'll give you my mom's number."

"Sir," I say laughing, and sort of scolding.

"I'll be there, Carter, always."

* * *

Cassandra

Daniel and Sam swing me between them. I feel like I am flying. It's such as simple thing, but I don't remember seeing anyone doing it on Harka. I wonder if they just didn't think of it. Sam said her parents used to do this when she was little, and she looked kind of sad as they said it.

"You're getting a little heavy for this."

I'm about to suggest Teal'c swing me. Pretty sure that guy could never get tired.

"Cassandra!" Jack screams from far away.

"Hey, there he is," Sam says, I don't know much about her teammates yet, but I'm pretty sure Jack's her favorite one.

I run toward him, "What's that?" I ask. It's definitely some kind of animal, but not a kind of animal I've ever seen on Harka.

"We have a rule here on Earth. Every kid has got to have a dog. This is a dog. And he's yours."

It's warm, and fuzzy, and squirmy, and I'm pretty sure I like this rule. I'm also pretty sure Jack is going to quickly become my second favorite earthling.

* * *

Teal'c

"So, how sure were you really?" Daniel Jackson asks looking critically at Captain Carter.

"I can't explain it, Daniel; I just knew," she says.

"Mother's instinct, perhaps," I fish. I am most desirous to know the fate of young Cassandra.

"Subtle, yeah, I'm looking into adopting her. As long as Cassandra's happy."

My teammates are both sporting facial expressions of intense pleasure. Humans of earth appear to display emotions more easily than Jaffa. I must find other ways to let them know what I am thinking.

"She appears to be," I offer.

"And I wasn't completely at ease until I learned the object was shrinking and being reabsorbed into her system," Captain Carter offers.

Cassandra runs over with a small earth creature in her arms. Samantha greets her, and then Cassie greets her as well.

"See my new dog?" Cassandra says proudly. I make a mental note of the name of the creature which is apparently important to our teammates.

"Wow. Your new dog?" Samantha Carter says, in a tone that implies her fondness for this creature is considerably less than young Cassandra or O'Neill's.

"It's an Earth rule. Every kid has to have one. But I don't mind," Cassandra says proudly.

Captain Carter raises her eyebrow. That is a facial expression which the Jaffa use as well.

"Why don't I take the dog for a little walk," O'Neill says retrieving the dog from Cassandra's arms. "C'mere. Teal'c? You know anything about dogs?" he asks me.

"Nothing," I admit.

* * *

Cassandra

"When you find me a new home, will you come and visit me?" I ask Sam.

She smiles at me, "I was thinking, maybe you're new home could be my home."

I just stare at her.

"I mean…temporarily of course," she says looking disappointed at my reaction.

"Sam," I say, "You want me?"

"Very much," she says grinning,

"I'd love to live in your house, be your…" I stop, maybe she didn't mean…I mean she did just say temporary.

"Daughter," she nods, "I'd think of you as a daughter. You could call me Sam, until you wanted to call me…mom. No rush. But Cassie if you wanted to wait for a mom **and** a dad…"

I shake my head.

"What about when you're not on Earth?" I ask.

"I don't have all the details of that worked out yet. But I'll make sure there is someone to look after you. And since I'm adopting you," she looks bashful again, "I mean if that is what you want." I give her an emphatic nod which seems to put her fears at rest, "I got a couple of weeks off. Well, off going off world anyway. Now, about going off world Cassie…

"I know. The Stargate is a secret; and I was born in a place called…Toronto?"

"Right." She grins at me. The new family, my mother told me about.

I point to pieces of plastic that are hanging from a metal frame with chains, "What are those?"

"Ah. Those are swings."

"I never had any of those…in Toronto. They look like fun."

"They are. Come on."


	3. Maturnity Leave

Cassandra

"You're telling me the kid doesn't like pizza?" Jack says clearly implying he thought this was about equivalent to a crime.

"What I'm saying, sir, is she's never had pizza, but she probably won't like it," Sam informs him.

"The kid is going to like pizza," Jack says with absolute certainly.

"Sir, I don't think so. She hates food that is combined with other food."

"She'll get over it when she discovers pizza."

Sam raises an eyebrow, "Sir, I don't think so."

"Sam can't we have mac again?"

"Mac?" Jack asks raising an eyebrow.

"Mac and cheese without the cheese, Sir," Sam explains.

Jack gives me a look of horror, "She'll have pizza," let's go.

* * *

I can't believe Jack thinks I'd eat this. It's got tomatoes, cheese, circular pieces of meat, square pieces of meat, and various vegetables, and unbelievably one of the new earth fruits on pale bread.

"It's pizza," Jack says proudly.

I push it away.

"Canadians!" Jack mutters.

"Sir, I told you to go with cheese," Sam says laughing, "With cheese you would have had a chance.

"There is fruit on it," I point with disgust.

"Right, pineapple, delicious!" Jack exclaims.

"Do you have slavery on earth?" I ask.

"I've got to ask how we went from pineapple to slavery," Jack says after a moment of stunned silence.

"Ah...on…Canada, we traded once with a…country that had slaves, and their bread was like this. In countries with equality, everyone eats brown bread. In places where there are just a few rich people there are some who eat white bread."

"Socially conscious at the age of…" Jack wants me to fill in the blank.

"We haven't quite got the conversion on that yet," Sam says.

"Eleven," Jack says with confidence.

"Sir, you can't just make that up," Sam protests.

"Until you get the official count I can," he says.

"We don't have slaves in America," Sam says, and I'm relieved, because I was starting to think they were avoiding my question.

"Although we also don't have equality," Jack offers.

"But we're getting closer to it," Sam says.

"So we also don't know when her birthday is?" Jack says.

"It's awhile from now," I offer.

"Oh, I guess this will have to wait," Jack says pulling out a box.

I snap it up, as they smile at me. I open it up. It's not exactly like the toys we had on Harka. But I wouldn't want it to be either. It's a toy that moved by itself.

"How did you know?" I ask.

His face makes me think I probably don't want to know the answer, "I just noticed…in Toronto."

Sam gives him a grateful smile. I pull the chain and watch the monkey clap his hands.

"I appreciate it," I say.

"Yeah, well take a bite of pizza in gratitude." I shake my head. "Come on, if you're going to be American you're going to have to eat pizza."

"Another earth rule, Jack?" Sam asks giving him the special look she only uses for jokes between them.

"You'd be surprised how many earth rules I know, Carter," he responds.

"Bad influence," she mutters.

"One bite, and I'll stop bugging you," Jack prompts.

I stare at the offending food. I pluck off the fruit and the vegetables to Jack's eye roll. Then I take a bite. I stare at in surprise.

"Well?" Jack prompts.

"I like pizza," I said in shock.

"Well, what do you know?" Jack says proudly.

"Did you have to TELL him he was right?" Sam asks in exasperation.

"I'm always right, remember that kid," Jack says with a wink.

"Yeah, next time you convince her to try something can you make sure it's healthy? Use your influence for good?" Sam teases him.

"Hey, not my fault she picked off the fruit and veggies," Jack defends.

"It still wouldn't have been healthy, Sir," Sam mutters.

"Yesterday, Colonel got into the garbage," I say interrupting their banter.

Jack tilts his head looking suspiciously like the dog. Sam giggles, "She named the dog Colonel," Sam explains.

"Did she now?" Jack says.

"You gave him to me, so I figured I would name them after you," I offer. Suddenly I'm worried, "You don't mind do you?"

"No, it's cute," he says with a grin, "So the garbage?"

"Yeah, you gave her a miscreant," Sam says.

"Better than a cat," Jack says looking at her.

"Schrodinger is an angel!" Sam explains.

"I still have a scratch," Jack holds his arm up to display a non-visible injury.

"I still say you were harassing him at the time."

"How do the cat and dog get along?" Jack asks.

"Schrodinger gives Colonel her distance," I respond.

"That's right, the dog is a girl, so why did you name her Colonel?" Jack asks.

"There are female Colonels, Jack," Sam says in a tone I've never heard her use before, but that Jack is unfazed by.

"Of course, but I'm not one of them," Jack says with a grin, "and the dog's supposed to be named after me."

"Jack, I'm going to school tomorrow," I proclaim interrupting their fake argument, "Will you come see my school?"

"Absolutely, but not tomorrow. Sorry, but I have a mission early," Jack says. I catch the sadness in Sam's eyes for just a second, before she chases it away.

"She's never been to school before," Sam says.

He looks surprised, "No school in Toronto?"

"Just to learn to read, and write, and I could do that before I went."

"And we're doing what grade?" Jack asks Sam.

"Sixth," Sam says.

"Sixth grade was a very good…" he pauses, "Sixth graders are going to come up with really stupid plans that sound like good ones. Think for yourself."

Sam giggles.

* * *

Sam

I know something has been bothering Cass ever since Jack mentioned being off world. But I don't bring it up until we get home.

"Cassie, are you…I mean the fact that Jack, Daniel and Teal'c are going off world tomorrow does it…I mean are you scared for them?" I ask.

She shakes her head, and I let the silence hang for a second before she says, "I'm sorry you aren't going with them." She makes a face, "That didn't come out right. I mean, I saw you were sad when he talked about going. And I'm the reason."

God she was a good kid, "I love having more time to get you adjusted to earth, Cass. I am not thrilled about my teammates going off world without me, but you are worth it. Way worth it. In fact, if I had to give up the gate to have you as a daughter, I would."

"Don't," she interrupts.

"I won't," I say pulling her into a hug, "I'll be back at the gate in a few weeks. Until then I get to get caught up on my backlog of technology, and train this dog Jack gave you," I say grinning at Colonel, who was definitely growing on me. "And I've got the plan worked out for when I go back. There is an after school homework club which will watch you from when school gets out until six o'clock. We might use that some other days as well. But when I'm off world Janet Frazier is going to watch you." I can tell she's confused, "The doctor."

"Healer?" she asks.

I nod.

"My mom was a healer." It's the first time she's mentioned her mother, and I don't know quite where to go from here. Talk about her? Not? "But she couldn't stop the disease," she continues.

"No one could," I say softly.

"When my family got sick, I tried to help them. But I didn't know how."

I pull her into another hug, "I know, you did everything you could. If you don't mind, your family?"

"Dad was a carpenter, mom was a healer, and I had twin brothers."

"I have a brother too," I say. Yeah, I should probably tell Mark about the fact that he's an uncle. Not sure how that is going to go. He hated the fact that I planned a wedding, and then never got married. He thinks I'm a flake, and hates the fact that I'm in the military. But he's allowed me to stay in his life, which is more than he's given Dad.

Dad. Not going to focus on that one.

* * *

The teacher gives Cassie a big welcome, and she files into the room. I've talked to the teacher before, but I just don't feel like I can leave.

"So, if Cassie has any problems you have my number. She's…not been in school for a while, those are classified circumstances. But just send things home, I can help her with whatever, she needs…"

"Ms. Carter," the teacher says with a silly grin, "She's going to be fine."

"Sorry," I say blushing.

"It's ok, it's a new mom thing," she says.

* * *

It's cowardly, I know, but I call Mark when I know that both he and Jessica are at work.

"Hi Mark, it's your sister. I just wanted to tell you I'm adopting an eleven-year-old girl. Her name is Cassie. She was Canadian." Then I click the receiver down.

Worst message ever.

* * *

Cassandra

"Sam, we don't have fractions in Toronto," I complain.

"Oh sweetie, I will help you in a couple minutes, just let me finish dinner," she says absently.

That's the last of my homework so I clap the book shut. The phone goes off. The phone is by far my favorite of earth inventions. You can talk to people across the world with it. Crazy!

"I'll get it!" I shout. She nods. Pretty much the only people who call are SG-1, Janet, and my friends from school. All of which love talking to me.

"Hello!" I exclaim.

"Uh, hello," a tentative voice says, "Is this Cassie?"

I'm still not used to the name Sam's given me. No one has called me anything but Cassandra until I came to earth, "Yeah." I'm a little fuzzy on the phone etiquette and must have done something wrong, because there is silence.

"This is…I guess your Uncle Mark," he says.

I wonder how close Sam is with him, she mentioned him…once. "Nice to meet you I say." I flinch, pretty sure that wasn't right. "Ah, sorry, I'm still getting used to phones."

"You must have been from a really remote part of Canada."

"Toronto."

"Huh, I thought that was a pretty modern city."

"I guess it's the part of Toronto I'm from," I offer.

"It's ok, honey, I'm a military brat, I know what a cover story is. You're probably from some part of the world the United States Air Force claims not to be, but does go."

I have no idea how to respond to that. I didn't even understand it.

"I wanted to talk to…your mother, about coming to visit you. You've got cousins you need to meet."

"Oh…you have kids?" I say in surprise.

"She didn't tell you about your cousins?"

"Ah, I've only known Sam for two weeks, and there was a lot going on. I only know about you, because I mentioned my brothers…" I offer.

"You have brothers?"

"Had brothers."

"Oh, God I'm sorry. I'm not very good with grieving children. Even when I was one." He clears his throat, "Two weeks? Quick adoption."

"It's not official yet."

There is a pause, and I know what he's thinking. Maybe he should hold off the welcome to the family party.

"Sam risked her life, not even to save me, but to make sure I didn't have to be scared. I guess she was mine, and I was hers, before we ever talked about making it official."

I can almost hear his smile.

"Can I talk to your mom?"

"Right, sorry Mark," I say, "Sam!" I call.

"Janet?" she asks knowing that SG-1 is off world. I shake my head, "Mark." Her face goes pale.

* * *

Sam

"Sounds like a good kid Sammy," Mark says before we even bother with the hellos.

"She really is," I say trying to focus on my brother and the dinner. The pizza turned out to be a pit of a fluke. Cassie still likes her food separated. This means I'm cooking hamburgers in one pan, and carefully melting cheese in another. That is right; the cheese still has to be melted even though it can neither touch the whole-wheat bun or the meat.

"Sam, I can take over cooking, I used to do it all the time in Toronto, and the stoves there had real fire," Cassie offers.

"Ah…no sweetie," I say flipping the stove off, and heading to my bedroom, "Sorry Mark," I offer.

"That's ok, being a single parent must be tough," he says. From some people that would be a supportive statement, but from him it came off as condemnation.

"I'm doing fine," I say.

"You know, if you hadn't left Jonas at the altar you could be doing this the traditional way, with a husband and a baby."

"I didn't leave Jonas at the altar; I called the wedding off almost a month in advance. And if I hadn't, I'd be a widow right now. Best case scenario. Worst case scenario he didn't wait until he was on an Air Force mission to go nuts, and I and our imaginary baby are dead." That's probably an exaggeration. I mean Jonas is a murderer, but I don't think he could have killed me. Any more than I could have killed him.

"Jonas is dead?" Mark asks.

"Yeah, and at some point after his crazy speech about being God and keeping me hostage forever, I got to watch him die. So, I didn't make the wrong choice on that one," I say.

"Sorry, Sam."

"And if I was married to Jonas who somehow stayed sane, we would adopt Cassie, because she's a wonderful kid."

"This is happening pretty fast, Sam. I mean you barely know the kid, and you're talking about adopting."

"I know everything I need to know about that kid. I love her."

"How much do you know about where she is from?"

"Toronto is…"

"I mean where she is really from, Sam."

I take a deep breath. Mark may have many flaws, but he is a military brat, and he does know when to keep his mouth shut. It's not going to hurt to tell him a little, "She's the only one who knows about where she is really from. Only survivor of a sickness."

There is silence, and I'm trying to talk myself out of yelling at him when he asks if she's going to make everyone sick. But when he answers, it's only with a soft, "My God." And for one second it's the big brother I used to have before my mother died. When he felt he had to protect me from everything-bullies, dad, myself, the Air Force, oxygen.

"Yeah, so it's an adjustment, she grew up in…" quick thinking, "a sort of hippie commune in Toronto."

"Ah, hence stoves with fire, and no telephones."

"Right, and no medical care."

"And she made it because…"

"She had another health problem which protected her. Almost killed her too, but it stopped her from getting the disease. It was…heart problems. But she's fine now."

"Heart problems as in…"

"They used the paddles on her, and she needed surgery," I say surprised to feel myself tearing up. I didn't know this was still affecting me so strongly. "I really thought I was going to lose her."

"I'm so sorry Sam, but she's ok now? Because if she needs doctors…"

"Mark…" I stop him, "I know this overprotective thing…you mean well, but…"

"Ok, sorry, you'll ask for my help if you need it? I mean you are a new mom."

"Yeah, thanks Mark, but I've actually got a really good support system here. I'm not doing this alone."

"Boyfriend?"

"No…my team…the people I work with, and a friend from work."

"Ok, I still want to come down, and meet my niece," he says.

"That would be good."

"Maybe when the kids are out of school…"

"My work schedule is kind of crazy, so just give me a call when you have dates."

"Ok, Sam…what you're doing here…it's good."

"Thanks."

* * *

Daniel

I find myself feeling guilty. I promised to help Sam out with Cassie, and I haven't even seen her since Sam went on leave. So when Sam asked me to watch her tonight while she observed some…let's be honest I have no idea, but I assume it had to do with the stars based on Sam's field of study, and the fact that it is happening at night.

"Daniel, you know about Kali Yuga?" Cassie asks me.

Oh wow, "You mean that Indian legend of the end of the world?" I ask casually.

She looks disappointed at my answer, "I thought I heard you talking, right before you found me. I thought you knew it wasn't just a legend."

"Your world thought that with the eclipse would come a sickness," I say carefully.

"Is that all you know about the legend?" she asks carefully.

I think, back, but that is all I can remember. She takes a deep breath and spins quite the tale. Traditional hero mythology, nothing unique about it. Except that the villain has the same name as the Gou'ald who destroyed her world, and the hero sounds a lot like Sam.

"Cassie, there are a lot of people who have short blond hair, and blue eyes," I protest.

She sighs, "I thought you would understand."

I was bonding with her there for a minute. Maybe I should just go with it. But I mean…she thinks her adopted mom is a superhero who saves worlds and defeats Gou'alds. Ok, let's be honest, her mother does save the world and defeat Gou'alds. So what is the harm?

"You think Sam is the Defender?" I ask.

She nods, "and I'm the One."

Wow. The One is supposed to carry the civilization on. Tell the tale etc. If Cassie thinks this is who she is…

"You know you can't tell anyone where you are from, right?" I ask her.

She nods.

"Then being the One…carrying the civilization on…"

"Can you keep a secret?" she asks me. I grin. "Of course you can," she says with a giggle as she stands up to get something.

"Cassie," I say grabbing onto her arm, "You have to understand I'm not going to keep secret anything that is going to hurt you or anyone else, or if you were planning on revealing classified information to the world."

"Won't be a problem," she assures me.

"Ok," I say.

She comes back with a notebook. She opens it up to reveal drawings of dresses, like the one she first stepped through the gate with, as well as pages and pages of writing. Some of it is the myth she just told me. But I also notice a pretty technical description of medicines, and some other details.

"I know I can't show it to anyone, but I wanted to get it all down before I forget. Stupid I suppose," she mutters.

"Oh no, this is amazing, Cassie," I say sincerely, "It looks like you are quite the little anthropologist with this. It's good that you remember the world you came from. And the Stargate isn't going to be a secret forever, someday you might be able to publish this book, and tell the world about your homeworld."

She grins, "I don't know anything about anthropology, like what things to write," she offers.

"I'd love to help you, Cass," I say looking over the notebook in more detail.


	4. Enigma

Jack

"Hey, Carter, how is Cassie?" I say walking into her lab. God I've missed Carter, four missions without her. Thank God she'll be going on the next one.

"Great!" she says as she glances down at her watch, "You're back already? That was a really quick mission."

"Right, well we ran into a volcanic explosion which was covering up some race of people that apparently didn't want to be rescued. But the part you come in on is these devices," I say offering one of them to her.

"Wow," she says, and she's already completely absorbed in the mystery. When Carter gets absorbed in something, she looks just like Sara did when she was fixing the truck. Yeah, that was definitely a thought I should avoid. Comparing my wife (ex-wife, you need to remember that Jack) to my second-in-command who in the past year has become a single mom, and watched me kill her ex-fiancé.

After the whole alien masquerading as me and Charlie thing, Sara and I talked. Or rather sat next to each other and didn't talk, and cemented the fact that it was really over. Even now, when I'd finally started to function-to get out of bed, and go to work, and live again, that I wasn't healed enough to be in that house, or see pictures of him, or talk to Sara.

That as much as I liked Cassie, I was so not ready for fatherhood.

Not that my second in command was ever an option.

"It will be good to have you back on the team, Carter" I offer.

She looks up startled, oh, she was so not aware I was still in the room, "It will be great to be back on the team, Sir."

* * *

Hammond

Sammy is back. Really, Captain Carter is back. I think I'm going to miss the Sammy part of her. She really was Jacob's little girl for awhile there. Right when Cassie first came through. She probably still is Sammy at home, but here she's Captain Carter, all business.

I wish I didn't have to be the General all the time. I like being Grandpa, and I wouldn't mind being Grandpa George to that little girl. But that wouldn't be appropriate given our professional relationship. Besides, I have granddaughters and that little girl has a Grandpa. Where the hell is Jacob anyway? Maybe I should give the man an earful about being more involved in Sammy's life. I mean I know his kids pushed him away after Grace died, but my God he's got a granddaughter.

But Captain Carter, mission briefing, focus George.

"What do we know about these devices they were wearing?" I ask.

Captain Carter says, "Well, they all emit low levels of radiation indicating an operative energy source, but there's no circuitry, moving parts or chips. We've never seen anything like it."

"I thought at first that they were from a parallel culture but it looks like they might be way ahead of us," Dr. Jackson informs me.

Tiny little internal happy dance, we found aliens more advanced than us. I don't let the happy dance show, but ask a question I needed answered, "We've determined humans on other planets originated here on Earth, right?"

"Yes," Dr. Jackson says. God, why do I have to deal with the world's least articulate linguist? I probably should have let Jack leave him on Abydos, again.

Lead a horse to water, George. "Then how, given our present state of technology, could they be ahead of us?"

"Yes. Umm…we'd be colonizing space right now if it hadn't been for the Dark Ages. There was a period of over eight hundred years where science was heresy and anathema. Maybe they didn't have that set-back."

Happy dance. Advanced aliens.

* * *

Daniel

"New hobby?" I ask as I watch Sam play with some sort of a robot in the gate room.

"Neat, huh? I had to do something while you were going to planets without me," she says.

"Because raising a kid isn't enough," I respond playfully.

"It's a miniature UAV with all the bells and whistles. I'm just adding heat sensors so I can send it through the Gate to Tollan."

"Hm. I was just down in the infirmary with one of the Tollan, trying to get them to talk to us. They only ask questions, they never answer them. As a matter of fact, one of them was asking a lot of questions about you," I tell her.

"I thought they weren't interested in us," she says absently.

My big brother protective instincts were shooting off alarms when I was talking to Narim, but now they are doing even more so when I see how blissfully unaware she is. God, how could a woman that beautiful not realize when a guy is fawning all over her?

"Oohh…I didn't say us. I said you. General Hammond thinks maybe you'll have better luck getting some answers. He'd like to see you."

"OK," she says still focusing on her robot.

* * *

Sam

Great, I really do have to do everything around here don't I? Captain Carter, the military recruits need to know how to work a staff weapon. Dr. Carter, we could use your help figuring out this new technology. Captain Carter, help us work the gate. Dr. Carter, Siler broke something again. Mom, when are you coming home?

Now Daniel wants me to be ambassador to an alien race? Seriously? I should demand five separate pay checks for the five separate jobs I do around here. Ok, go meet an alien.

General Hammond says, "This is Narim."

The alien is wearing this shinny tinfoil stuff, and makes this tiny head nod before he says, "Oh…Captain Carter, or is it Doctor?"

Million dollar question, I'll let you know if I ever figure that one out. "Why don't we just make it Samantha?" Because right now, that's all I can handle

"You may call me Narim," he says.

"OK."

Sometimes when the General looks at me, I see something in his eyes that takes me back to my childhood. I haven't forgotten that George was the one who took care of me that first week after my mom died, and Dad didn't get out of bed, and Mark didn't come home. But I try to forget that George is General Hammond. Try to separate it all out in my head. I have enough problems with my own multiple identities.

I also have enough trouble trying to convince people I deserve to be here. Everyone thinks that just because I'm a woman I slept my way to the top, or else am only here because I'm a General's daughter. I'd rather they didn't know the guy who runs the base is an old family friend. Although, the Colonel probably already knows; he does read those files.

Hammond, in that assertive voice of his says, "Captain Carter, Mr. Narim seems very interested in our planet. I thought maybe you'd like to escort him up to the surface to have a look."

"Really?" I say. It took us almost a month before they let Teal'c off base. Why do they trust this stranger?

"I would be very pleased to have that opportunity," Narim says.

"As long as you give me your word you'll stay with Captain Carter," the General says.

"You have my word," he says looking at me, in a way that seemed almost...romantic. I hadn't seen that since...no, let's be honest, Jonas didn't look at me like that very often. Never, really.

"Great! Let's go. Sir," I nod to the General.

* * *

"Umm…I wanted to tell you, that I'm glad to be alive. Ummm…so are the others."

You would think that would go without saying, "Good."

"Thank you. And please tell your friends."

"Oh. You…you can tell them yourself."

"No, I can't. I shouldn't be talking to you."

"Why not?"

"You know, when I was in the infirmary, I thought I was dying. I heard your voice and managed to open my eyes, and, uh…when I saw you…uh."

"What?"

"An old superstition. There was a time before reason and science when my ancestors believed in all manner of nonsense. Like the Sher'mau. The story goes that if a Sher'mau appears at the moment of death, she would take you to her dwelling in the stars."

"Ah! We call them angels."

"Than you still believe in them?"

"Some of us do." I used to. Mom used to. There are still people who do. I'd like to again, but I can't. Not anymore. Still, nice to be called an angel.

"Ours were reported to be quite beautiful…and, when I saw you…well…you seemed to fit the description."

I like being flirted with, but I should probably tell him, "I usually go through the gate. I didn't go through the gate this time, because I was on maternity leave."

He gives my body a quick glance, "No way you just had a baby."

"I'm glad you think so, considering the fact that I adopted."

He smiles, "So you are a mother as well as an explorer and the brilliant scientist that Doctor Jackson said you were."

"Wow!"

"I'm afraid I ask quite a few questions. Curiosity. I'm a little curious about your child, and your husband."

"No husband, and Cassie is an eleven year old whose planet was just destroyed about a month ago."

"That sounds awful," she says, "She ok?"

"Yeah, she's doing ok, considering."

"Can you tell me something about your world? Is it permitted?"

"Well, yeah. Of course."

A bird flies by, and his eyes catch it. It's like when I took Cassie to the zoo or turned on the TV, or flushed the toilet.

"A flying animal," he says in a stunned voice. I try not to laugh.

"Yeah. We call them birds."

"Are there other animals?"

"Oh yeah. Millions of them," I say.

"Huh. There have been none on Tollan for generations."

I wonder if we're going to do the same thing to our world that they did to theirs. God, a world without any animals, awful. "Well, I could bring you pictures, if you'd like. My daughter is actually pretty obsessed with earth animals, so I have lots of pictures."

"I would like that very much. Thank you."

"Good."

"But, I think it would be best if Omoc didn't know."

"Why?"

"Omoc is not as harsh as he seems. He is only trying to protect us. And you."

"From what?"

"Perhaps…" he looks at the guards, "Perhaps we should go back."

"OK." Huh! I make a good alien ambassador who would have thought?"

* * *

I carry Schrödinger into the room in a kennel. I thought Cassie would be upset when I suggested giving our cat away, but she was thrilled. She feels about Schrodinger about the same way the Colonel does, disdain.

"Hey. How you doing?" I ask watching Narim fiddle with blankets.

"Um…it may sound ridiculous, but I have no idea what to do with these items. Oh…well, our sleeping platforms adjust automatically to our body temperature. They don't…come with accoutrements."

"It's OK. I'll show you. When my daughter first came to earth, she kept wanting to move the mattress to the floor. She didn't like sleeping off the ground. I can only imagine if I tried to get her on a top bunk. I brought you some things to take a look at. Cassie sent them for you."

He takes the books, "Oh! Thank you."

"You're welcome. Uh…you…you might like to see this first." I take Schrodinger out and hand him to him.

"I never thought I'd see a living animal."

"His name's Schrodinger. Oh…it's kind of a joke really. His name, that is. Schrodinger's cat…"

"Oh?" Right, first rule in the alien ambassador's handbook; try to keep the earth references to a minimum. Actually, we should make an alien ambassador's handbook. It would be helpful when someone like me is strong armed into it. But it's the SGC, everyone is expected to work miracles 24 hours a day, without breaking a sweat or receiving training. It's what we do.

"Right. Uh, see, there was an Earth physicist by the name of Erwin Schrodinger. He had this theoretical experiment. Put a cat in a box, add a can of poison gas, activated by the decay of a radioactive atom, and close the box."

* * *

Narim pets Schrodinger, clearly in love with him already, "Sounds like a cruel man," he mutters.

"Oh, no, no. It was just a theory. He never really did it. He said that if he did do it at any one instant, the cat would be both dead and alive at the same time."

"Ah! Kulivrian physics. An atom's state is indeterminate until measured by an outside observer."

"We call it quantum physics. You know the theory?" If I play this right I could get some hints that could further our understanding of physics.

"Yeah, I've studied it…in among other misconceptions of elementary science."

"Misconception? You telling me that you guys have licked quantum physics?"

Shit! I'm wrong! I've always believed quantum physics over string theory. Wrong, wrong, wrong. I want to rewrite my graduate thesis now! If only I could let people know so half of the world's physicists could stop wasting their time. Right, I could just say, an alien told me that quantum physics is wrong.

Narim pets Schrodinger, and he's so happy with his new pet that I think I might be able a great time to get information out of him.

"Narim…can you tell me why Omoc is so…you know…"

"Obstinate?"

"Yeah…"

"The nearest planet in our solar system was called Sureeta. When we began to explore space, we learned she was inhabited."

"Did you make contact?"

"Yes, when we thought they were sufficiently advanced. They were on a level very similar to yours."

"So what happened?"

"We offered them a device…to produce unlimited productive energy. And they used it to make war."

"How bad was it?"

"In one rotation of our planet, they had destroyed theirs."

"One day?"

"The destruction shifted our planet's orbit point 3 tekanna, enough to begin a chain of events that…made our world unstable."

"So that would explain why he's so afraid to give a society like ours any of your technology."

"Yes. He's trying to protect innocents. Like your daughter."

"Tell me, what…what were you really doing outside last night." He and his people made the whole base pretty frantic when they tried a disappearing act.

"Omoc spoke the truth. By setting the position of your stars, we were able to calibrate the distance between Earth and the new homeworld. It is very far away, Samantha. Too far to hope for a ship in our lifetime.

"Have you ever thought about staying here? On earth?"

"I would…gladly stay, if only to spend more time with a certain inhabitant of this planet. I speak, of course, of Schrodinger." I love his sense of humor. It's like my father's was, before my mother died. It's like Jack's too. But I also like what he was saying before he made a joke. Maybe...adopting a daughter didn't mean I couldn't get married one day. Maybe a history of dating crazy people, and a failed engagement...wasn't the end.

* * *

"Samantha," Narim's voice says. Yes, Samantha. I like being Samantha again. But where exactly was this voice coming from?

"Narim?"

"Hello," he says as he walks through a wall. Seriously, I am never going to get used to this level of technology. It's so far beyond. I mean the man just walked through a wall.

"Oh my God, how did you do that?"

"Very carefully," I laugh. It's nice to be able to laugh at someone's jokes. I can't laugh at the Colonels. Military protocol.

"I have come to say goodbye. We'll be leaving soon." Yeah, didn't think this would last. It never does with me.

"So, you really are going to be able to go with the Nox? I mean Daniel's plan is going to work?"

"Either way, I will be leaving. However, I will go reluctantly."

"Why?"

"Because, as of tonight, we will never meet again."

I give him a big fake smile, "Oh, come on, you'll forget about me in a heartbeat."

"I thought you felt that way." He pulls a device off his sleeve, "That is why I brought you this."

"What is it?"

He hands it to me, "You have audio and visual recording devices, yes?"

"Yeah."

"This one records emotions. My feelings for you. I have worn it each time we were together."

Ok, not sure if this is weird or awesome. "How does it work?"

"Touch the red triangle…"

I start to feel something. Something I've never felt before. The device lights up. I'm trying to fight the emotions. I'm pretty sure I don't want Narim to know that I am falling in love with him when he's about to leave.

"…and close your eyes."

I let myself smile. God this feels good. It's so unselfish. Jonas and I...was complicated, controlling, painful. Narim's love doesn't hurt. He's leaving, but it still doesn't hurt. He barely knows me, and...wow!

I flip it off. "Uh…I don't know what to say."

I know he's feeling things that he's not saying, "We have a custom…" he steps close to me, "…that expresses more than words." He kisses me. Wow!

"We have that custom too."

We pull into a kiss again. Daniel enters the room, and turns to leave. Probably hoping we didn't notice. We pull back to look at Daniel, "Oops! Uuhhh…sorry. I got to do some stuff in here." Daniel mutters. Then he looks at me, "Actually, I need your help."

I turn to Narim. I really, really hate goodbyes. But I know it's better when you actually say them, "You should probably get going. Don't forget Schrodinger."

He smiles at me, and I close my eyes. I'm not sure how he can say goodbye to me after he's let me know so exactly how he feels. He touches my chin and cheek, and I feel the love for a second without the help of a device. I close my eyes.

"Thank you." He says. Thank you. Better than goodbye. An acknowledgment of what we have had together, even if it wasn't much.

* * *

Daniel

Doctor Captain used to leave the base really late at night, but not since she became a mother. So when I see her motorcycle in the parking lot when I leave the base I turn around and go back in.

There she sits in her lab. Fiddling with a rock.

"You ok Sam?" I ask.

"Hey, Daniel, yeah, I'm ok," she says giving me a faint smile.

"So, Narim," I say sitting on her lab bench.

"Not that I don't appreciate this, Daniel, but I already have a big brother."

"Hey, we don't have to talk about that kiss," he says.

"Just as well, because it wasn't nearly as steamy as..." she shuts her eyes for a second, "God, Daniel I'm sorry."

"It's ok. It's almost creepy the way no one talks about Sha're. So, still on base?"

"Yeah, Janet had the day off, so she's watching Cassie."

"And you are?" I wave my hands.

"Having a moral dilemma."

"Ah," I say.

"You don't happen to have a secret degree in psychology do you?"

"Naw, that was more like an adolescent hobby. Mess with the shrinks your foster parents send you to," he says with a grin. "So..."

"This," she flashes the device, "Is an emotion recorder."

"Which currently holds..."

"Narim's feelings for me."

"Ah...and the moral dilemma is..."

"All alien technology should be turned over to..."

"Sam, you saw my apartment right?" I ask.

"Yeah, right after we thought you were..."and she looks a little choked up. I'm still a little surprised that my death made them freak out like that. It must have been the chemicals the alien used to make them believe I was dead.

"Right, and it was real empty right?" I tease.

"The Colonel said it was like a museum."

Yep, sounds like Jack. "Right, so...I grew up as a foster child. When Catherine Langford asked me to join the program all my belongings fit into two bags. Those two bags were given away by the time I got back from Abydos. Did you ever wonder where I got those things, only a couple of months later?" I ask. She hasn't quite gotten it yet. "Let's just say they are not as old as people outside of the program would guess based on the society they are from."

"Daniel!" she says like a scolding mother, "are you a kleptomaniac?"

"Well, all foster kids sort of are. But it's not like I actually steal. I just sorta...bring my work home with me. The point is, Sam, Narim gave that to you, not earth. And you do not need Dr. Lee or some scientist you've never even met touching it," I say firmly.

"Thanks Daniel," she smiles. She pauses, a brow wrinkling her forehead, "All foster kids are kleptomaniacs?"

Oh, Cassie. "Not all," no, I better be honest, "You could always tell the neglected kids, because they were obsessed with food. Hid it everywhere, and it would go bad. The abused kids, they didn't steal. Just look scared. The rest of us...yeah, you take stupid crap, pencils, library books, one kid used to steal gum wrappers, not gum, just the wrappers."

"Or valuable anthropological finds from other planets," she says with a grin. Sam grins, but she never laughs. Usually she grins at Jack. Who isn't ready to date, and can never date her. And then she has a fling with an alien who's leaving. And before that she was engaged to a psychopath-actually that might be the cause of the other problems.

"Right."

"So, what else do we know about foster kids?" she asks.

I haven't talked honestly about this since I gave up on shrinks. Which was a long time ago. Big breath, for Cassie, "Sam there is a huge difference between foster kid and adopted kid. When I was talking about foster kids I was talking about the people I grew up with. Who were neglected, abused, or abandoned when they were old enough to remember it, and too old to have any hope at adoption. Who moved every six months to a new family or a cold clinical institution that didn't even notice if you didn't come home for dinner. Who had to keep putting everything they owned into trash bags. Whose clothes smelled like trash bags, who felt like trash. I am not talking about a person who has one person who is going to love them forever. Way different."

She's silent for a long time, and I'm a little worried I just lost a friendship.

"When I first took her, I thought she'd act like I did after my mom died. It's been nothing like that. You know, at fourteen, I didn't think there could be anything worse than losing a mother. But I guess...I never realized how lucky I was to still have my dad."

"And your brother, God, I would have killed for a brother," he says.

"Would you settle for a sister?" she asks.

"If that sister is you, I'm not settling," I say with a smile.

"Thanks," she grins.

"'Course if I'm your big brother it means we have to talk about you kissing an alien."

And she laughs. She actually laughed.

* * *

Cassandra

Janet puts dinner-whole wheat bread, vegetables, and meat all carefully separated-in front of me.

"Thanks," I say really sincerely.

"No problem honey," she says with a smile.

"I mean, thank you, you saved my life a while ago," I say.

She smiles, "I wish I could do that for everyone who comes through my door honey."

"My mother was a healer," I tell her, "but she couldn't save them. I couldn't either."

Her eyes go soft, "Honey, that was not your fault. I probably couldn't have saved them either." A car door slams, "Sounds like your mom is home."

"Hey!" I say.

"Hi, sweetie," Mom says giving me an absent kiss on the cheek. She walks past. Janet and I exchange looks of surprise and confusion.

I follow her. She's in my room, in my closet.

"Mom?" I ask.

"Sorry sweetie, I was just..."

"What's going on?" I ask her.

"Daniel was just telling me...you don't talk about what happened...on the planet. I mean? Are you as ok as you seem?" she asks.

I'm more than a little confused, "I'm fine," I say with a smile.

"If you're mad or sad or anything, it would be ok. I'd love you just as much," she says.

Oh. My planet died. How does she think I am?

I shrug.

"I'm sorry. I was just worried about you," she says hugging me. "I mean you're adjusting to a new planet, a new family, a new school, learning a whole new form of mathematics, and you make it look easy. I just wanted to make sure you didn't feel like you had to put on a brave face for me."

"And you thought the answer might be in my closet?" I ask.

"Daniel said that some kids...if they don't feel secure, they might gather things."

Crap. I should have realized Daniel would notice. I pull the box out from under my bed. Pens. Mostly from the SGC.

She smiles, and kisses me.

"Mostly it was from the SGC, I thought Daniel might notice, it was too fancy," I say biting my lip, and offering up the one I stole from his office.

"Sweetie, he didn't notice, he was telling me about his own childhood. This is normal. Everything, you feel is normal."

"I steal pens."

"Yep," she says with a grin, "So do you want to return them or add to the collection?"

I look at her confused.

She smiles at me, "Nothing you could ever do could make me love you any less."


	5. Solitudes

Jack

My head hurts. It feels like it is going to explode. I put up my hands mostly so the brains won't splatter other people. Leg is broken. "Oh my God. Aargh, eurgh." I mutter.

"Colonel…" Carter's voice says. Well, at least she's conscious and with it.

"Carter."

"Yeah, uh…Try to stay put Sir, I think your leg's broken."

"No, my leg's definitely broken. What's the bad news, 'cause unless they've redecorated the Gate room I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."

"Daniel must have misdialed."

"Misdialed? You mean this place is a wrong number? Ah, for crying out loud. Where is he?"

"He's not here, Sir. Neither is Teal'c."

Oh God, just me and Sam? This is not good, not good at all. Not only because teammates are missing, but because…Sam and I should not be alone.

"No, he has to be."

Have to get Daniel in here. Daniel is great at breaking up things that shouldn't be happening. He's got a sixth sense about it. Why, just a week ago he walked in on Sam and Narim's kiss. Daniel will keep me from ruining the career of someone who is way better than I am when I'm still not over Sara.

I reach for the radio, must get Daniel.

"I tried that. You've been unconscious for nearly two hours."

"They came through the Gate before we did."

"I know that, I also know that we're alone here, wherever here is."

"Ice. Nice." Great, I see where this is going, conserve body heat. This story just keeps getting better and better. Daniel, please?

"Yeah, I think we're inside a deep crevasse of a glacier. If their Stargate's been overrun by ice, we're possibly on a planet in the middle of an ice age. Now, there is some light filtering through up there and there are some fissures in the ice, but all of them are too narrow to follow very far. We're in trouble, Sir."

"Oh, nonsense. We'll just dial home and straighten all this out."

I look at this ice cavern. Crap. "Where's the DHD?"

"Can't find that either."

"Oh, so, uh, we're in trouble."

"We're in trouble."

* * *

Janet

Cassie is a wonderful kid. If Sam hadn't adopted her, I would have. But I love being a part of her life. Mission day babysitter, I love to tell her.

Today, I'd do just about anything to give the mission day babysitter job to someone else.

"So Mom left on her mission, alright," she says.

"Not really," I say.

She looks over at me strangely noticing I have yet to start the car.

"She's ah…stuck off world, Sweat heart." Well, it's probably true!

"Off world where?"

"They're not sure."

She's breathing hard.

"It's going to be ok, we'll find them."

"Her team will take care of her," Cassie says with confidence.

"Daniel is in the infirmary, he's going to be fine. Teal'c is working on getting them home. Sam and Jack are…" I drift off.

"You need to go back and take care of Daniel," she says, "I can sit in your office or something.

"No, he's fine. I would have sent someone to get you if it was necessary. No, everything is fine. She'll be back, and we'll just have a sleepover," I offer with a smile.

* * *

Sam

His bone needs to be set. We have no pain killers. They were in Teal'c's pack. Lately we've started putting a lot of things in Teal'c's pack. Mostly because no matter how much you put in there he doesn't appear to notice. I'm thinking we could probably put a couple of midgets in his bag and he'd never notice. Maybe some takeout pizza. But the important stuff-like pain meds is going in my bag from now on.

"Sir, I'm going to have to set your leg."

"You should have done that when I was unconscious," he mutters.

"I didn't want to wake you up," I tease.

"Just because I attacked you one time…besides, I'm pretty sure you'd be able to take me this time."

"Sir, with all due respect, I could have beat you up the first time," I say remembering the first time I woke the Colonel for his turn at watch, and didn't believe Daniel's advice to do it by throwing a sock at him from a safe distance, "but assaulting a superior officer is frowned upon by the Air Force."

"Huh, then how did I make Colonel…Aargh! Oh, God…. Ah."

"Okay, I think it's set," I say nervously. I wish I would have taken more biology classes at the academy. But when your major is physics taking biology classes is decidedly uncool.

"You THINK it's set?" he sneers.

Time for false confidence, "I'm positive. All we have to do is put a splint on it and you'll be as good as new."

He doesn't believe me for a second, "Just take it easy, Doctor."

"Wrong kind of doctor, I'm afraid."

"You wouldn't think jagged bone digging into raw nerves would hurt, but it does." Crap. The Colonel's sense of humor gets more intense the worse things are. Based on that joke he's in a lot of pain right now. Time for honesty then.

"Sorry Sir, but I've never done this before in my life. Is this your first broken bone?"

"Ah, ah, no. This…this would be, uh, nine, if you count skull fractures." God how many wars has he been in?

"How did you manage that?" This might be just what I need to get his leg patched up. A lot of soldiers love to talk about their scars, especially to women. The Colonel has never been like that, I just figured it was because the stories behind the scars were classified, but maybe it is more than that.

"Little parachuting mishap, over the borders of Iran and Iraq, back in…eighty…." He lets out a huge scream. I should have known I wouldn't be able to distract him long enough to get the leg splinted.

"Okay, this is going to hurt, Sir."

"Ah! I know, I know, I know, I know," nine broken bones, he knows what is coming.

"So, what happened?"

"I hit the ground. Go figure. Ah! God…ah…. My chute opened a little late, and it hurt, just like that."

"I'm sorry Colonel, I'm doing the best I can."

"I know you are, Captain, can you just be done?" He's a horrible patient by nature, but he's really trying to be good patient for me.

"So you hit the ground, and…?"

"And they all lived happily ever after."

"Almost there, almost…"

"No, you're there Captain, you're there. That's a great splint. Stop! Stop…ah…"

"So, how long before you were rescued?"

"No rescue." Oh, God, I can't imagine, "It wasn't exactly…an official…mission, if you know what I mean. So I had to make it out on my own. Nine days."

"Wow, what got you through it?"

"Sara…"

"Your wife."

"At the time. I needed to see her again. You tallied our supplies yet?"

"Yes, Sir. Supplies for three days, but we can stretch that. We've got a little drinking water, but…" I wave my hand at the snow.

"Ice melts."

"Yeah, and we've got our field cooking gear to melt it. The flashlight batteries are going to be a problem. We've got thermal blankets." But no pain meds. He knows that, otherwise I would have already given it to him, and I don't really want to point out the lack right now.

"That's cool. By the way, Captain, we ARE going to get out of here. You're going to get back to Cassie. That's an order."

"How's the splint feel?"

"Captain? You have to believe me."

"I want to, Sir. I just don't see how."

"Then we'd better start looking for a way. Because I'll be damned if I'm going to die on some god-forsaken block of ice a million light years from home. Is that clear?"

"Yes Sir."

* * *

Sam

"Negative." He says. I want to keep trying, and he has the power to stop me with just one word. Negative. I can't believe he's going to give up. He might not have a Sara or Charlie to get home to. But I have Cassie.

"Sir, we got to keep trying!"

"Of course we do. But we've been awake…for a very long time. It'll be there in the morning," he falls in pain, "God…"

"What about you?" What if he dies? What if he dies because I can't figure this out?

"I told you we're going to get out of here. It's just going to take longer than we thought."

I nod, trying to stay positive, he really needs me to be the strong one. I have to use the something to get home to in my favor, "Sir."

* * *

Cassie

I don't think I like phones anymore. I know something is wrong as Janet hangs it up.

"Cassie," she says grabbing onto my arm.

"No," I say breaking away from her and locking myself in the bedroom.

She knocks on the door, but I've already closed myself in the closet. "Cassie, they've declared her missing in action. But they are still looking. They are still looking, Cassie."

I can't lose her too.

* * *

Sam

The fact that he's asleep is going to make this a lot easier to do. I am about to cuddle my commanding officer. The commanding officer that once, under the influence of alien technology, I tried to sexually assault. Oh God this is awkward. But I can't make the DHD work, I can't find another way to make him warm, the very least I can do is give him my warmth. Head on his chest, arms around him, as close as I can be. Heat. This is all about the heat.

"Oh God. Captain." I hear hours later as I wake up. I lift my head off his chest to look at him, "As much as I might…otherwise think this is nice…"

"Shhh. Try to sleep."

"Is that what we're doing?"

"You're exhausted; you passed out. I just thought we had to combine body heat or we wouldn't make it through the night."

"That's fine. It's just…very hard to sleep…with broken ribs when someone's lying on you," he can barely talk.

"Sorry." God I'm stupid. It's not like I've never had broken ribs, I know how awful they are. I move off of his chest, and onto his arm. Not quite as warm, but warm enough. "Sorry, sorry."

"That's better."

"Sleep for a few hours and I'll fix the DHD."

"Okay. Night."

"Night." Oh my God! Is that what I…? Maybe my attraction for my commanding officer isn't as one sided as I thought, "Oh…Colonel?"

"It's my sidearm, I swear…"

I giggle. We'll go with that. He pretends to believe Janet's claims that the Brocca virus thing was all about alpha male, so I'll pretend that's his gun.

"No giggling, please…"

* * *

Daniel

They've declared them missing in action. But the General let me work on the theory. He let me work on it, until there were no planets left. Only now is he beginning to talk about leaving them behind. But I can't. Because I know what it's like when people give up on you. When people leave you behind. And there has to be an answer.

The water is slushing out of my glass of water. Wait, I remember...early in the program. Of course! The gate always used to cause earthquakes when we used it. Maybe…this shaking happens when….Oh my God, there is another gate. Wrong number!

Another gate, and we could find it…earthquake!

* * *

Jack

I remember the guilt of a failed mission. I wonder if she's ever felt that before. Probably not. She's young, and almost perfect. I can't imagine Samantha Carter makes a lot of mistakes. I'm hoping she'll get to deal with survivor's guilt. I'm hoping that little girl doesn't have to lose someone else…so soon. I have to try to save her.

"I guess it didn't work."

"I'm sorry," she says, and I know she'd dealing with the guilt. Probably for the first time.

"Not your fault," I say hoping there is enough authority left in my voice that she will believe it. Bu knowing that no matter what anyone says she isn't going to.

"I don't understand why it won't work!"

"Captain, plan B. Go."

"No, Sir…"

Time to use first names, a dangerous thing with this particular second in command, "Sam…I'm dying. Follow my order. Please."

"Sir…"

"Please." My last act should be saving her.

"Yes Sir."

* * *

Sam

"Sara…" He's almost completely out of it, and he's calling for his ex-wife. Maybe he needs to say something to her, maybe he needs closure.

"I'm here, Jack," so weird to call him by his first name.

"Cold, so cold…"

"I know. It's all right. You can sleep now." But if he's going to die I have something I need to say to him as well, "It was an honor serving with you too, Colonel."

I wake from my sleep. George is here? What? Why didn't he come through the Stargate? But he's here. He's got me, and we're going home. Going back to Cassie.

* * *

Cassie

She's home. She still looks weak in her hospital bed. Jack must be even worse off, because they won't even let me see him.

"Cassie, I think you should come and sleep now," Daniel offers with a smile.

"I'm fine," I say settling further down on the chair. They are going to have to carry me out of here if they want me to leave her side.

"Cassie," Sam says looking at me, "I'm fine, you need to sleep."

"You're not fine. If you were fine you wouldn't be in a hospital bed."

"Honey they have me here, because when they found me I was hypothermic. My body temperature is almost up to normal, but they are not going to let me leave until I'm all better. I bet it is going to be tomorrow," she says with a smile that makes me almost believe her.

"Jack?" I ask.

"He is going to be just fine," she assures me, "He has a broken leg, and some cracked ribs as well as hyperthermia, but he's going to be fine."

"Then how come I can't see him?" I ask nervously.

"Tell you what?" Daniel offers, "If I let you see Jack for a few minutes will you come to Sam's quarters and sleep?"

"Supper," Sam reminds him, "Get her a hamburger and take it apart."

"Food can't touch," Daniel says with a roll of the eyes. I'm not sure if the roll of the eyes is aimed at her for telling him again, even after he's watched me several times. Or at me, because after nearly two months on earth I still can't stand food that has the tastes all mixed together, except of course pizza.

"Ok," I agree to their terms.

* * *

"Jack?" I ask.

"Hey kid," he says holding out his arms, "Looks like we're going to have to postpone tomorrows chess game." I play chess with Jack every Saturday when he's on earth. When he isn't on earth on a Saturday we find another day.

"How about I come here to play," I say.

"Sounds amazing," he offers.

"Yeah, it might keep him from annoying my nurses for a couple of hours," Janet says grumpily. Janet always gets grumpy when SG-1 is in the infirmary. It doesn't actually have anything to do with their actions though, even though Jack is the opposite of a good patient. It's just because she really likes them, and can't stand to see them hurt.

"I want to get a hug," Jack says.

"Sam said your ribs were broken," I inform him gravely.

"Didn't keep her from hugging me," he mutters. I think he honestly thought the mutter was going to be quiet enough that no one would hear him. He was wrong. Janet's eyebrows shoot up, and I just give him the look.

"Oh for crying out loud! We had to conserve body heat!' he says.

Janet giggles as she leaves the room, and I'm pretty sure she's going to ask Mom a couple questions.

"Besides the pain is worth it to get a hug from…" he pauses, and I can see by his eyes he was about to say something like, 'my little girl' or something. Maybe he and Sam are going to get married. Maybe they'll have little brothers and sisters for me. That would be awesome!

I lean forward and give him the most gentle hug in the world.

"I love you, Cassie," he whispers softly enough that I am the only one who hears it.

"I love you, too, Jack," I whisper back. "Get better," I order in a louder, more commanding voice.


	6. My Two Families

Cassie

My cousins are coming up for four days. I've been nervous about this for months. It's weird to meet your family. You have to wonder if they are going to like you or not. And I know there is some pretty heavy stuff between Mark and Mom. I don't really have a clue what the stuff is, but I know it is there.

I knew that Chris was going to be the same age my brothers were going to be. Still when I actually see him holding on to my new Aunt Linda's hand I get choked up. God, he looks like my brothers did when they were two.

Mark is giving me a concerned look, but Mom hasn't noticed my distress. "You ok, Cassie?" Mark asks.

Mom looks at me, suddenly worried.

"Just…Chris looks like…" I begin.

"Oh honey," Mom says giving me a hug, "I'm sorry."

"Sorry," I offer.

Katie without a word holds out her hand offering me a friendship bracelet. She's six years old. All six year olds automatically worship teenagers. I'm still about eleven months shy of being technically being a teenager, but I can tell it's close enough that I already have her admiration.

"Auntie Sam, can we stop by the museum before we drive to the springs?" Katie asks.

"That ok with you?" Sam asks to her brother and sister-in-law.

"That would be great," Aunt Linda says excitedly.

I've never been to a museum before.

* * *

"So tell me again why we can't have Sam's famous shepherd's pie?" Mark asks.

"My fault Uncle Mark, I don't like my food to touch," I protest.

"It's ok, honey, separated shepherd's pie is ok," Mark says.

The door bell rings, "Can you get that honey?" she asks.

SG-1. "Jack!" I say giving him a big hug. I move on to Daniel who gives a nervous look toward the kitchen.

"Ah…it looks like you guys have company. We should have called," Daniel says giving Jack an accusatory look.

"But Carter never has anything going on," he protests.

"Apparently Captain Carter saw fit to follow your order to 'get a life,' O'Neill," Teal'c says. I'm not sure, but I think his comments have started being funny on purpose instead of just by accident.

"It's ok, it's Uncle Mark, and his family," I offer.

"Sam's brother?" Jack says looking into the kitchen with intense curiosity.

"We should go," Daniel says.

"Nonsense," Sam says poking her head into the living room. "It's about time my two families meet."

"Two families," Mark says, "And who is this?"

"This is my team at work," Sam says.

"Ah, the support system you told me has been helping you with Cass?" Mark says.

Jack pokes out his chest, he's pretty proud of himself right now.

"This is my commanding officer Colonel Jack O'Neill. Doctor Daniel Jackson the archeologist, anthropologist, linguist, and all around expert on anything that happened more than 1,000 years ago. And this is Murray…I bet you can guess his specialty by his size."

"Onak sha sree," Teal'c says with a low bow, "It is an honor to meet the family of Captain Carter."

"I'll say," Jack says with a grin. "We brought Chinese but there isn't enough for everyone," he says apologetically.

"That is ok, especially considering the fact that Cassie would never eat something mixed…"

He cuts her off, "Pizza."

"Yes," she says, "But otherwise she doesn't like her food to touch. Anyway, we've got supper almost ready."

"A supper I'm actually going to eat, Jack," I point out.

"Alright everyone," Sam says indicating those still in the kitchen, "This is my sister-in-law Linda, my niece Katie, and nephew Chris."

"So Mark," Jack says with a wide grin, "You got any embarrassing childhood stories about Carter?"

Mark pauses.

"Sir, Carter is his name too," Sam offers as explanation of Mark's weird face.

"No, it's just I'm used to 'Carter' referring to Dad. I mean the whole calling people by their last name is a military thing, so I should have figured they did it to you too. But I've never actually heard someone refer to you that way…it's weird," Mark says.

"Right, so is your Dad coming to the party to?" Jack asks.

An uncomfortable silence covers the air. I look at Daniel expectantly. He's usually the one to bite through awkward moments. But he's silent, and looking at Sam for an explanation.

"My Dad won't be coming..." Sam offers.

"Dad and I don't exactly see eye to eye," Mark offers.

"So anyway, childhood stories?" Jack asks again.

"You know Sam graduated when she was sixteen?" Mark says, "The Air Force academy wouldn't take her until she was at least seventeen years old. There were quite a few colleges that would have taken her right after she graduated. But she wanted to be an officer in the Air Force so she waited. Of course, you couldn't waste that year could you sis?" he asks grinning.

"What did you do, Carter?" Jack asks grinning.

"Nothing," Sam says.

"Sam?" Daniel asks expectantly.

"Mom?" I ask knowing it was going to be the final straw which would make her confess.

"I might have written my master's thesis," she offers.

"And?" Mark prompts.

"And most of my doctoral thesis. I knew I was going to have to write them anyway, and it saved me an unbelievable amount of time after I graduated from the Academy."

"Scientists," Jack says with an affectionate eye roll.

* * *

Mark

Sam has changed a lot in her five months as mother. Well, to be honest I haven't seen her in the year that has passed since I moved to San Diego. I should make more time for her. My kids need family. I know they have a lot of family with Linda's parents, but my kids deserve family on both sides. I need to make sure they get that.

But Sam is a different person. She is a great mother. But it's more than that. She's a person. Not just a combination of roles. She's not just a scientist, and an Air Force captain, and a girlfriend. She's actually, completely a person. I like it.

"So, Jack?" I ask her. Linda has put all three of the kids to bed. I know what she's really doing is giving me a little alone time with my little sister.

"Yeah, he's a great commander," she says.

"Looks like he's a pretty good father as well," I offer.

She flinches. Huh?

"He…ah…he lost a son not too long ago. An accident that he blames himself for."

"Oh God, that's awful," I say.

"Yeah, and then his wife left him, so he's had a pretty tough couple of years."

"But I'm sure you and Cassie are probably making him quite a bit better."

"It's not like that. He's my commanding officer, so nothing can happen between us."

"But if he wasn't…"

"That's almost like saying if you weren't my brother," she says shaking her head.

"I'm not even close to believing that," I say. I know her goal was to gross me out enough to switch topics, but it is so not going to work.

"Ok, maybe. But it doesn't matter. He's still in love with his ex-wife. He's great with Cassie, but he isn't healed anywhere near enough to be a father again."

"So someday?"

"Someday he's still going to be my commanding officer."

"So quit the Air Force," I say. She gives me the glare, "this isn't about my hatred of the Air Force. This is about me seeing that you are clearly in love with him. This is about me wanting you to be happy."

"Jack and I, it's not going to happen, Mark."

"Ok, so anything else on the romance horizon?"

She takes a deep breath. There is definitely something there. "There was someone, briefly. It's over now. But it made me realize. I mean for the first time since Jonas, I dared to think…I mean I could find someone."

"Why was it brief?"

"Well, the guy had to leave."

"Long distance things have happened before."

She snorts, "This is way beyond any distance any one has ever done before." Again I can tell there is more to her words than I am allowed to understand.

Now I have to ask a question, I really don't want to ask, but I know that I have to. "You told Dad?"

She cringes.

"And I thought I was the only one who was estranged. At least I gave him a call when I got married and had each of my kids."

"No, you called your sister up, and asked her to make the call."

"Ok, true, but the point is I made sure he knew." I pause, "Do you want me to call him, Sam?"

"Mark, how often has Dad visited your kids?"

I don't say anything, because she knows the answer.

"If I tell Dad about Cassie, and he doesn't show up… when he doesn't show up for birthdays, and graduations, and all the important things in her life…it's going to hurt her. Better to have no grandpa than a grandpa who doesn't care about you."

I nod. "Ok, Sam."

She smiles at me, "I'm glad she has an Uncle Mark."

My kids only have half a family, but her daughter has…just me.

"Of course, Sam."

I make a mental note to be extra involved in Cassie's life. I'll have to be uncle, grandpa, and grandma for her.


	7. In the Line of Duty

Janet

Usually the second Sam enters my infirmary after a mission she asks about Cassie. I'm almost done with the examination, and she hasn't said a word about her.

"Cassandra's at school. Do you need me to pick her up?"

"No, I will. Unless I'm not cleared," she says referring to the small abrasion I found in her mouth.

"No, you should be able to leave," I offer. She is acting distant and cold, and I'm a little freaked out by it.

Cassie

Mom didn't pick me up from school. I try to call her phone, but there is no answer. So I try Jack next.

"O'Neill," he answers.

"Do you know where Mom is?" I ask.

"No, isn't she…she left to pick you up a couple of hours ago," he offers.

Oh God, maybe mom is dead.

"I'll be there to pick you up in a couple of minutes. Don't worry, I'm sure your mom is fine," Jack offers.

* * *

Jack

"Pick up, Carter, Pick up," I mutter. But Sam hasn't picked up on any of the last fifteen calls, so I have no reason to believe she is going to pick up this one. Teal'c is searching the base. Daniel is driving several routes she could have taken home. I'm going to pick up Cassie, and check out Carter's house.

God the kid looks panicked. I get out of the car, and give her a big hug. "Sweetie, it's going to be ok."

"Excuse me, Sir," the teacher says.

"Hi, Colonel O'Neill," I say extending my hand. I hadn't made it to Cassie's new school. I was volunteering at Cassie's elementary school once a week when I was on earth last year. But she's only been at the new middle school for a few weeks.

"I take it you know, Cassandra," the teacher offers. I resist rolling my eyes. That fact is pretty obvious, since she's currently wrapped around me.

"This is Jack," Cassie offers by way of explanation.

"I'm sorry I'm only authorized to release her to her mother or Janet Fraiser," the teacher says.

I'd rather not have to be blunt right in front of the kid. "Ma'am, we're not exactly sure where her mother is right now."

"I'm sorry, but I need authorization from one of those to release a minor into your care," the teacher says. Ah, bureaucracy happens everywhere.

Cassie is crying, "We need to go find my mom!"

"Cassie, it's going to be fine. I'm going to set you down and call Janet, and then we'll go look for your Mom. Daniel and Teal'c are already on it. You're going to be ok," I say locking eyes with her.

I keep an arm around her as Janet authorizes me to pick her up. She also mentions to me that Sam was acting a little weird during her medical check-up. I make sure that Cassie doesn't hear about that detail.

Ten minutes later we're pulling up to Sam's house. Both the car and the motorcycle are in the driveway. I knock on the door. Sam answers.

"Mom!" Cassie screams as she runs to her.

"Did you forget someone, Carter?" I ask. God she had me panicked, and she hasn't even apologized or looked surprised or really had any reaction to the fact that she forgot about her daughter.

"I was so scared when you didn't pick me up for school," Cassie says.

"I know, I'm sorry. I've been so busy," Sam offers.

Alarm bells. I'm thinking I'm going to be inviting myself into the house.

Cassie wraps herself around Sam in much the same way she did to me back at the school. Cassie backs up, "Jack, let's go."

What the hell?

"Cassandra, what is it?" Sam says.

Cassie moves behind me. Sam's eyes light up. Oh God. How am I going to deal with this? I have to protect this little girl from her mother who is a Goa'uld. I so need back-up right now. I hand Cassie the keys and my cell phone.

"Sweetie, you need to go lock yourself in my truck, and call the SGC, and tell them what is going on.

* * *

Cassie

One knock on the head, and Jack goes down. Jack is a warrior, he is strong. I check to make sure I locked the car door, even though I've done it several times.

Sam runs over to the vehicle, and tried each of the car doors. None of them opened. "If you tell anyone what happened. I will kill you," Sam says.

* * *

Janet

Jack is unconscious on the front step, and Cassie is crying in a car. Since I'm the only medical personnel my priority is to the injured. But I really feel like I should check on the kid first.

"Colonel," I say tapping his shoulder.

"Cassie!" he says sitting up.

"Take it easy Colonel, you were knocked unconscious."

"She didn't hurt the kid, did she?" he says.

"Who?" I ask.

"Sam, or rather the Goa'uld in Sam." he says. Oh God! "I Cassie ok?" he practically shouts.

"She's fine, sir. She locked herself in the pick-up, and I talked to her on the way out here. Where is Sam?"

"I don't know, I wasn't exactly with it at the time," Jack says.

* * *

Jack

"It's ok Cassie, you're safe now," I tell her holding her close, "Do you know where Sam went?'

"She told me she'd kill me if I told you," Cassie says looking terrified around her.

"It's ok, we won't let her hurt you, Cassie," I tell her.

"She just left, I don't even know," she says.

"Ok, it's alright, we'll figure it out anyway," I assure her. "You're going to stay with me until we get her back. Teal'c will also be staying at my house." I figure the two of us, and extra door locks can give her the kind of protection he needs. Maybe. God, I hope we can protect her.

"Where is Sam?" she asks.

"We're going to find her," I assure her. I figure eventually she's going to try to make her way through the gate. As soon as she tries that we are going to be able to catch her.

* * *

I lull Cassie into sleep, and then head out into the living room to try to figure out what is going on, "Cassandra still has traces of naquadah in her blood. I think there may be some connection—a reaction that made her sense the Goa'uld," Janet offers

"How in the world did it get into Captain Carter?" Hammond says in that big booming, no nonsense voice of his.

"Sir, I don't know what to say. I examined Captain Carter myself. There were no visible signs of entry. I mean, she had a small abrasion on the back of her throat, but it could have been anything," Doc says.

"Are you saying it entered through her mouth?" Hammond asks in shock.

"The parasite's goal is to attach itself to the brain stem. The soft tissue at the back of the throat is as good a place as any to start," Janet says.

Oh shit! I should have known. I should have had them arrest her right when we came through the gate, and I wouldn't have a traumatized kid to deal with right now, "Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. Oh my God, she was giving some guy on that planet mouth-to-mouth. There was blood but she said the guy just bit his tongue before he died."

"If a Goa'uld can infest a human with no detectable physical signs, then we're gonna have to start giving all personnel who go through the Gate an ultrasound or an MRI," Janet says in her most commanding voice.

Oh yeah, bi weekly MRI's just what I've always wanted, "For now, let's make sure we haven't let any more Goa'ulds through the Gate this time," Hammond commands.

* * *

"Cassie," I say brushing her cheek lightly. I hate to wake the kid up, but she has to know where I went, "They found Sam."

"I she ok?" Cassie asks.

"She still has the Goa'uld in her sweetheart. I have to go now. Daniel is going to stay with you." I tell her.

"To get it out of her," Cassie says with the trust of a child. I really wish it was that easy.

"Well, I'm not sure exactly how possible that is going to be, but I'm going to try my best.

* * *

Teal'c

O'Neill is late for his interview with the Goa'uld that possesses Captain Carter. O'Neill is so tied to the concept of time, that the only reason for this must be that he is in such a state of emotional distress that he has difficulty completing his orders. I must offer him emotional support.

"Colonel O'Neill," I say.

"Thought you were helping with the sweep of the base."

"I am on my way. This is difficult," I offer.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is."

"Assault the Goa'uld's ego. Make him appear foolish. He may then reveal the things you wish to learn simply to make himself appear more powerful."

"Ah, come on, Teal'c. They're smarter than that."

"I have seen many Goa'uld strategies revealed and certain victories lost because of Goa'uld arrogance. It is the Goa'uld's greatest weakness."

O'Neill lets out a long breath that is a sign of distress among the Tau'ri. "Yeah." O'Neill walks toward the door.

I have one more piece of advice to give him, "Colonel O'Neill. When you speak to her, do not see your friend."

"How do you do that?" he says as he leaves.

* * *

Samantha

She yelled at my baby! She threatened Cassie! God! What if the Colonel hadn't been there? God, what if she hurt my baby with my own hands? Now I'm in a prison cell. Teal'c and a herd of marines took me down.

I hear the Colonel's voice. I may not have control of my body, or even my eyes. But I can hear and see whatever she can. Why did they send the Colonel to talk to me? Don't they know it would be hard for him? It would be hard for me at least.

"So, you and I have got to have a little talk. You really screwed up here, you know. I mean, you really blew it."

I still haven't figured out the name of this thing that took me over. But whoever he is shakes my head, and says, "You are weak."

"Who's behind bars right now?" the Colonel asks, but his voice is far from confident. He's probably feeling pretty insecure that the Goa'uld beat him up with her body. I'm hoping this isn't a 'I was beaten up by a girl' thing, but it is definitely possible.

"Your tactics will not work on me," the thing within me sneers.

"Not buying it, huh?"

"You must let me go."

"Ah…no."

"You really have no idea why this is happening," she says sitting down on the cot.

He mutters quietly, "And I guess you don't feel like telling me."

The being within me crosses my arms.

He sits quietly for a very long time before he says, "Let me go," as he walks toward the bars. "Let me go through the Stargate. I will find another host and send your friend back to you."

The Colonel stands up and walks toward her, "You can do that? Leave a host without killing them?" He looks hopeful.

"Yes. It is possible, but not easy. I could die, but I promise I will try." She's telling the truth. She really can leave me. Whether or not she's going to want to is another matter, but for sure she can. I suddenly feel hopeful.

"The Nasyan man died when you left him."

"The Nasyan man died first, that is why I left him. He was beyond my natural abilities to heal." She is grieving for him. Grieving for a lost host of hers. Strange. Maybe there are a hell of a lot more to these Goa'uld than we think there is.

"What were you doing in him in the first place?" Hiding, Sir, she was hiding.

"Carter's mind would be intact. She would return to you as you knew her before."

"You know I can't trust you."

"I could have killed you smashed the window in and killed the little girl." My stomach hurts when I think about her hurting Cassie. But she is also sickened by the idea. Her repulsion of the idea is not heightened by the fact that Cassie is a little girl. She actually doesn't have any concept of childhood. "I have done nothing to harm you. But you would not let me go even if you did believe me." She stops using the spooky Goa'uld voice, but it's not actually me that is speaking as she screams, "Oh God, he's telling you the truth! Please, Jack!" She is really getting to him, he knocks on the door. "Jack! Please, don't leave me, please! Give me a chance!" He leaves, and she keeps screaming, "Don't leave me like this! Please!"

When she realizes he is gone she speaks in her regular Goa'uld voice, "What will it take?"

"Who are you?" I ask. "Tok'ra." And I begin the slow and painful process of getting to know my symbiote.

* * *

Jack

Oh my God Sara! And here I am walking through the grocery store with a little girl holding my hand.

"Jack," Sara says in surprise.

"Hi!" Cassie says brightly. I know the kid well enough to know it's an artificial forced brightness, but Sara probably doesn't realize this.

"Who is this?" Sara asks.

"Ah, this is Cassie, her mom is…sick right now, and I'm watching her for a bit. I was informed that my grocery supplies were woefully insufficient, so I took her to pick out the good stuff."

"I can imagine how insufficient they were. A box of baking soda, some beer, and half a left over pizza, I'll bet," Sara says.

"Something like that," I mutter.

"Jack," Cassie says alarmed, "You told me that if Sam didn't get better you'd take care of me."

The kid needs reassurance way more than I want my ex-wife to not hear that.

"Of course I will Cassie," I say seriously. When Sam promised you, you would never be alone again, she meant it. We've got you forever. But your mother is going to be just fine, so we aren't going to have to worry about it. You can go pick out whatever cereal you want," the cereal aisle is three aisles down.

"Whatever cereal?" Cassie says with her eyes lighting up.

"Yep," I say.

Cassie runs off cheerful.

"She calls her mom by her first name?" Sara asks in surprise.

"Sometimes, Carter adopted her a little bit ago."

"You call your girlfriend by her last name?"

"Ah, no, Carter and I are not dating. She's my second-in-command."

"So, there is a possibility you're going to adopt a little girl?"

"Her mother is going to be fine," but the answer sounds hollow even in my own ears. "Yeah," I admit. "There is a chance I'm going to adopt a little girl."

"Congratulations, Jack," she says with a distant smile.

"Remember when we talked about adoption?" I ask her.

"Yes," she says, "and then we decided Charlie was enough."

God I feel like an ass. I try to think of something to say. Something that will make it better.

"Jack," she says, "James asked me to marry him."

I am going to ignore the fact that I have no idea who James is, "Good for you, Sara."

"Jack, you don't have to feel guilty about living again."

"But I always will," I say as Cassie comes back. She's got something which has sugar in its name twice, and is half filled with toy.

"Can I really get this Jack?" she asks hopefully.

"Of course," I glance at it, "you know there are different kinds of cereal in here. All mixed together."

"Oh, I plan on sorting it," she says.

"Of course," I say with an eye roll.

"It was nice to see you Jack. And glad to meet you, Cassie," Sara says with a sad smile.

"You too Sara," I say as she walks away.

"Who was that?" Cassie asks.

"My ex-wife," I say.

Cassie looks confused, "What does the 'x' mean, and how come she doesn't live with you?"

Perfect time for cultural differences, "The ex pretty much means she doesn't live with me. It means we used to be married, but we aren't anymore."

She frowns, "What happened?"

"It just didn't work," I say. The kid really doesn't need to hear about death right now.

"Do you still love her?"

"She's going to marry someone else," I tell Cassie. Twenty-one years we were married, and we've been apart for two years, and already she's thinking about marrying someone else.

"And you still love her," Cassie says softly.

* * *

Teal'c

I walk into the room with my hands behind my back. I am more than happy to spare O'Neill some of the agony of interviewing the Goa'uld which currently inhabits Captain Carter.

"You have requested my presence?"

"Jaffa, you must convince the humans to let me go."

"They will not let you go."

"They are impressive. The Tau'ri have become very powerful in the time since the Goa'uld reign here. Certainly the System Lords will not allow this to go unchecked. I can provide the humans with information that can help them defend against attack." This Goa'uld seems to be offering much, but I have no faith that he will deliver what he is offering.

"They are more powerful than you know. Already, a Goa'uld attack on Earth has been thwarted."

"Then a more powerful assault is already being planned."

"They are not fools. They believe you are here to plant a seed of that destruction."

The Goa'uld takes a step toward me, "Not all Goa'uld are the same. There are a few that oppose the System Lords and their ways. You must have heard of the Tok'ra."

The Tok'ra are a legend. They are Goa'uld who band together to take out the system lords. But the Tau'ri were also a legend, and I have found that legend to be true.

"Every Goa'uld seeks power for his own reason and would betray his own brother to achieve it."

"Some seek power for a greater purpose. Not every Goa'uld is an enemy to the people of this planet. The Tok'ra are real, no matter what Apophis has told you."

"I have yet to meet one."

"You have now. I am Jolinar of Malkshur." Could this be true?

* * *

Sam

Pain. Unbelievable amount of pain. Jolinar is dying. More pain. Pain. God, is there anything in the whole world except for pain.

Teal'c's voice breaks through, "These two are dead."

The Colonel's voice, "Sam, Sam! Sam. Teal'c, get a medical team down here right away. Come on, Sam." Need to focus on his voice. He's trying to drag me back to the land of the living. Must follow his voice.

Janet is pumping on my chest. Screaming orders. Trying to bring me back. Keep fighting, I've got to stay with them. I've got to keep fighting.

"Looks like interference. Two signals." Someone says.

"Well, isolate them! We could be picking up separate brain waves from the parasite," Janet shouts.

I hear the Colonel's voice, "Doc?"

Janet's voice sounds much more uncertain than it usually does, "I dunno, I've never dealt with this type of situation before. The Goa'uld looks like it's dying and taking Carter with it."

"The parasite is still getting weaker," Janet says.

Jolinar is dying. I'm going to…miss her?

"Parasite energy level is still falling," someone says.

"The parasite is dead. She's got a pulse!" Janet explains. I can hear the Colonel's sigh of relief from across the room.

The Colonel leans over my hospital bed, "You did it Sam…You won."

I'm not sure if my voice is mine again. The only way I'm going to know is to try. I'm hoping Jolinar is really dead. But I'm also hoping she isn't. "It wasn't me."

He smiles cheerfully at me, "Oh, yes it was. You hung in there, you beat it."

I have to explain how Jolinar saved me. How she gets attached to her hosts. How she never would have hurt Cassie even though she said she would have, "The Goa'uld gave its life for me. It saved me."

They don't actually look like they believe me.

* * *

Cassie

Daniel says, "She's still the same."

I am still not sure Sam is going to be alright, "Janet said that the Goa'uld left after it died."

"Well, that's right. Um, it died and her body's absorbing it. She's the same old Samantha Carter. Same person we've always known," Daniel says, but he looks like he might be hiding something.

Jack rubs my arms to comfort me, "Cassie, she's just a little sad right now. But I'll bet she cheers up when she sees you," he gives my arm another comforting pat, "Come on."

I walk into the hospital room. Everyone else stands at the doorway. There to support me if I need it, but giving me space. I touch Sam lightly on the shoulder.

"Sam, it's me," I tell her. She doesn't move or say a world. I feel no Goa'uld inside of her, but I'm pretty sure she is not ok. Sam looks like she's about to cry. "You're going to be okay." Sam closes her eyes for a long moment, and then she looks at me. Yes, Sam is going to be fine.


	8. Secrets

Daniel

How is this possible? How can Sha're be right there? Teal'c is holding a zat pointed at my wife. But she isn't my wife. She is a parasite occupying my wife's body. My pregnant wife's body.

"_Daniel, I do not understand why you want to prevent me from having a baby."_

_ "Sha're, I'm not saying I never want to have a baby. I will, someday. I just don't want one yet. It's been a really long time since I had a family. I want to get used to this first, and then we'll talk about a baby."_

_ "But the whole reason behind marriage is to have babies."_

_ "Sha're just a little time, and then I promise we'll have babies."_

_ "Husband, I do not understand...are you not sure about us?" she'd almost been in tears as she asked that._

_I lifted up her chin, "No, my love. I know we will be together forever. But, come on, your people...or at least your ancestors on earth, were the ones who invented birth control."_

_ "Yes, and we use that when we've had two or three children."_

_ "Sha're?" I asks._

_ "Dan'yel, I may not understand you, but I will wait until you are ready."_

"No, take my life in exchange!" My father-in-law's voice brings me back to the present. I put up my hand to pull Teal'c's arm down.

"Nobody's killing anybody," I say firmly.

"Sha're is no longer your daughter," Teal'c says. I need to keep reminding myself that Sha're is not my wife anymore, because she seriously looks just like my wife.

"Kasuf, we're in danger. How long has she been here?" I ask him.

"More than a season." A season? God, I would have been here.

"What?" I asked in disbelief.

"Why are we in danger?" Kasuf asks.

"Husband!" Sha're pleads, and she sounds so much like my wife that it's almost impossible for me to remember she isn't.

"I am Sha're's husband. Who are you?"

"My Daniel, please!" she sounds really desperate, and I just want to reach out and gather her into my arms.

"Come no further," Teal'c says. I'm glad he's here to protect me from myself.

Kasuf puts his arm around Sha're, holding her tightly, "Good son, do your eyes not see?"

"Sha're has been taken by a Goa'uld. A demon now lives within her. One of great power and evil." Kasuf looks at his daughter in shock.

Sha're bows her head and looks completely ashamed, "He speaks the truth, Father."

"But you said you returned to me," Kasuf says to her.

"And I have," Sha're says. Oh, this is killing me to have that demon speak with my wife's voice.

"Stop it! Okay, just stop it. You can't fool me. I know what you are. I've seen what you are," I shout at her.

"Please, believe me!" she pleads.

"No," I say firmly.

"The demon sleeps because I am with child," she says. I take a step back. Is that possible? "Hear me, husband. The Goa'uld that has stolen my soul is called Amaunet. She sleeps for the sake of the child."

I look over at Teal'c and he looks shocked, "Why?" I ask.

"If she awakens, the child will come forth, stillborn," Sha're says. That makes my stomach fall. I don't want this child to exist, but I also don't want it to die.

"I have never known a Goa'uld to father a human child," Teal'c says.

"Apophis is the father?" Oh God, I don't want to think about it. For the past year and a half I have been trying not to think about what Amaunet has been doing with my wife's body. I'd convinced myself that Goa'ulds didn't even have sex. Then Hathor happened, and then I tried to convince myself that only Goa'uld queens had sex, and well, I can't lie to myself anymore.

Sha're sobs out, "Y-Yes."

"Then Apophis is here also." Teal'c says looking around for his enemy.

Sha're's sobs hurt me almost as much as the information they reveal, "No, he has hidden me away. He does not want to reveal the true purpose of this child to his enemies."

"What true purpose?" I ask. She doesn't answer me right away, and I am quite short on patience, so I demand, "Sha're! What does Apophis want with a human child?"

"He wishes the child to one day become his new host." Oh God, she wants a kid so bad, and to have the kid be used like this when it finally comes? Unthinkable.

Maybe it is all a lie. I look at Teal'c, "Is that true? Teal'c doesn't answer me, so I look back at my wife, "Sha're. Is that true?"

"Yes." I walk outside of the tent for a second. I need a little bit of time to absorb all of this new information.

Teal'c walks outside, "This is most difficult. Daniel Jackson, we must return with Sha're through the Stargate immediately.

"Teal'c there is a lot going on. I'm confused right now."

"Perhaps, it would be better to sort all of this out on earth where Sha're will be safe."

"But, the Goa'uld will return as soon as she has the baby."

"And once we have the Goa'uld behind bars do we not have a better chance of freeing your wife from its bondage?" I waited for a moment. Teal'c continues talking, " You feel more sorry for yourself, it appears, than for Sha're. Within a matter of days, Sha're will give birth. The Goa'uld within her will reawaken. Apophis will take this child and leave Abydos forever. That is the fate you choose for Sha're by allowing her to stay!"

"Then I'd like a moment with my wife. Alone."

* * *

Jack

"I see General Hammond's already doing the rounds." Sam says as we walk into a ball room that is full of a whole bunch of all sorts of despicable people like politicians and such.

"Oh yeah. He's a player." I say. I snap my fingers. "The General knows how to work a room."

The guy talking to the General turns around, and Carter makes the most surprised face I have ever seen her make.

"Dad," she says as she hugs him.

"Get outta town. Sam's Dad? I've heard nothing about you, Sir." I say. Carter gives me a look of aggravation, as she hugs her father.

"What's there to say about an old general waiting to retire?" Jacob asks.

"Dad, I talk about you all the time," Sam defends. Well, that is a lie. She talked about him once, and that was after I brought him up. Furthermore, it wasn't like she was saying very nice things about him at the time.

"I retired myself one time. Couldn't stay away," I offer.

Jacob says in a mocking voice "From what the hell was it again?"

Sam recites the cover story off without a second thought, "Analysis of deep space radar telemetry."

"Right," Jacob says rather incredulously.

"Well, it's just so damn fascinating," I offer.

"I'm sure it is. Otherwise you wouldn't be receiving the Air Medal," Jacob says.

"We have our moments," I say. Yeah, like saving the earth, on a regular basis. Teal'c is keeping count. I think it's more impressive if you don't keep count.

"I invited Jake myself, Captain. I thought you might enjoy the surprise." Hammond says.

"George and I served together back when the Air Force really was this country's first line of defense," Sam's dad offers. If he only knew that now the Air Force is now the WORLD's first line of defense!

"It still is," Carter says, in the tone she usually reserves for the feminist claws out comments she makes when she feel threatened. Until now I didn't know she defended the Air Force with the same fierceness she does her gender.

Jacob starts talking in a patronizing voice, one that would get me punched if I used it, "Of course, it is. I was talking about when the Cold War was still, uh…."

Time for a distraction, what would be neutral territory? "So, did you bring Cassie along?" Hammond asks her, "I told her she could use the tickets we got for Daniel and Teal'c for Cassie, and a nanny," he offers me by way of explanation. He's my hero, smooth distraction.

"Well, actually I invited Janet to come along," Sam says nervously looking at her father.

"Cassie? Janet?" Jacob asks.

"Cassie, her daughter," I say.

"You have a kid?" Jacob says looking at his daughter.

Oh shit! All that time, and she didn't tell her father! Oh this is bad.

"Um, will you excuse me? We just don't get out of Cheyenne Mountain enough. I'm going to grab some air. Outside. General. Captain. General. Waiter." I say making my escape.

I hear Hammond having a similar idea behind me, "I guess I'll go make the rounds."

* * *

Sam

Thanks guys. Whatever happened to 'no man gets left behind'?

"So when did you have a kid?" Dad asks with no emotion in his voice. He is always most dangerous when he has no emotion in his voice.

"I adopted Cassie about ten months ago."

"And Janet?"

"Is a friend of mine."

"I'm not in your chain of command, so don't ask don't tell doesn't apply to me, Sam."

"I am not a lesbian, Dad," I say with an eye roll.

"Well, you have to realize it would cross my mind. I mean two years ago you break off an engagement, and just over a year later you're adopting a baby, and flying to Washington with her and a woman."

"Actually, Cassie isn't a baby. She's twelve years old."

"Ok, and Janet?"

"Janet watches Cassie when I'm out of the country."

"Right, out of the country. Deep space radar telemetry takes you out of the country often?" he asks giving me a strange look. "Just between us, your cover stories could use a little polish."

"Sorry, Dad, I don't know what you're talking about."

"No, of course not, I'm out of line. But whatever it is you really analyze in that mountain, deep space or no deep space, it can't be as exciting as the real thing. I'm talking about getting you into NASA. I'm talking about you actually going to space some day." The downside of working for a top secret program, it doesn't make your father proud of you.

* * *

Sha're

I knew that Dan'yel wasn't just going to accept what had happened to me. I mean what husband could? I have been unfaithful to him. Even though I could not help it.

"You hate me," I say as he reenters the tent.

"No, no, I love you," he says, and there is genuine love in his face.

"Will you forgive me?" I ask nervously.

"Oh, God," he says walking over to me and giving me a hug, "There's nothing to forgive."

I'm not sure if I can really believe he has forgiven me. I'm not even sure I can forgive myself, "I'm so ashamed," I mutter. He strokes my hair.

"I hate what's been done to you. I hate what Apophis plans for the child growing inside of you. Look at me." I turn away, I am so ashamed of what happened to me. He takes my chin in his arms, and forces me to look at him, "I love you. Everything else…" I start to cry, he is way too good to me, "I love you." He holds me, but it is a very quick hug before he pulls away.

"Will you stay?" I ask him.

"I can't." Of course, it is easy to say that you forgive someone, but it is much harder to actually forgive, "Because I want you to come home with me." He talked much about earth. Mostly in the first couple months after he came to live on Abydos. It sounded scary and overwhelming, but as long as Dan'yel is there I am willing.

"Will I be with you there?" I ask.

"Until the demon takes control of you. Then they are going to have to put you in a jail cell...something like a cage. You will have to stay there until I find a way to free you from the demon. I swear to you I will find a way to free you from the demon."

I nod. If the demon is going to take me over, at least this way I'm not going to have to watch her hurt other people, "And what of the baby?"

"I'll make sure someone takes care of the baby," I say.

"But you will not care for it yourself?" I ask. I knew that Daniel did not want a child yet. I know that this is not really his child. But it is my baby, and I want my husband to care for it.

He looks a little wounded, "Sha're, I'm not going to promise that to you right now. I don't want to break a promise to you. I will promise the baby will be safe. We have to go now, because Apophis could come back for the baby any time."

"Yes, husband, let's go," I say.

* * *

Jacob

This kid is going to make everything more complicated. How am I going to convince her to go into space when she has a little kid at home?

"I made a call to Bollinger himself. Head of NASA?"

"I know," she says with that defensive voice she used to use when she gave me report cards with B's on it. It's the voice she uses when she doesn't think she is good enough. So often she doesn't think she is good enough, but she is.

"I told him that you'd wanted to become an astronaut since you were a little girl. And that you'd given up—"

"I didn't give up!" she says with the same voice.

"Let me finish. That you gave up waiting for the shuttle program to be reinstated after the Challenger disaster."

"Yeah, it was bad timing all around."

"Yes, well. I called in a few markers. I filled them in on your qualifications. You apply again as an Air Force nominee, young lady, and I think you'll find NASA supportive."

"There's a waiting list a mile long."

"Not for you."

"Dad, you can't do that."

"I did."

"Without talking to me first?"

"You're telling me you don't want this? They know what you're capable of offering the Space Program, Samantha, they want you!"

"That's not the point! The work I am doing right now is very important to me."

"It's not your dream."

"Let's just leave it at that, please?"

"At least talk to them, then. Do that much for me."  
She lets out a long sigh, "I knew sooner or later you'd make this about you."

"Is this about the girl you adopted?" I ask.

"Not really. I mean I didn't stop going on missions after I adopted Cassie. This is about the fact that my job is better than what you are offering."

I roll my eyes. "Sam, why didn't you tell me?"

She's silent.

"I mean ten months. For ten months I've been a grandpa, and you never told me."

"Actually, you've been a grandpa for seven years. And how many times have you seen her?"

"Sam, at least your brother told me he had kids."

"No, I told you he had kids, and the phone works both ways. If you'd called me one time in ten months I would have told you."

"I didn't think I needed to call you and ask if you had a kid!"

"You could have called, and just asked how I was."

"You could have called, and said you had a kid!"

"I didn't want Cassie to be hurt again. She watched everyone she loved die. She was terrified I was going to leave her. She did not need to know she had a grandpa who choose to come in and out of her life as he pleased."

"That's not fair Sam."

I take a deep breath, "You're right. It probably isn't. I mean you stuck by us after Mom died. I guess...Cassie being an orphan, I'm just beginning to understand how lucky I was to still have one parent. But Dad, you missed my college graduation, my doctorate."

"I made it to two out of four graduations, I think that is pretty good."

"Right, but you didn't make it to either of Mark's, or his wedding, or his kids births, and you have a seven year old granddaughter and a three year old grandson, neither of whom you've ever even met."

"That was not all my fault..."

I interrupt him, "No, Dad, no it wasn't. Mark decided he wanted you out of his life. But you know what? For awhile there he made the same choice about me. But I didn't let him shut me out. I just kept showing up until he let me back in. It scares me that you can unlove someone. That someone can just stop being you kid, because if you do it once..." Wow that is a whole lot more than I EVER meant to say. "I am going to protect Cassie from being unloved."

"Sammy," he says, and there are tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Daddy," I say giving him a hug before I return back to the party.

* * *

Sha're

As Dan'yel takes me through the Stargate I feel pain in my stomach. I fall, but I am on the earth side of the stargate as I fall. I am on the safe side of the stargate. "Dan'yel, Dan'yel" I shout. Dan'yel catches me.

"Teal'c! I think she just went into labor," Dan'yel says to his friend, the former Jaffa. The Shol'va which Apophis rants against, when his wife had control of my body. That causes an awful shiver to go through my body.

"The travel through the Stargate might have induced it," the Jaffa says.

"Dan'yel!" I scream again.

"Medical team to the gate room," some voice says from the walls.

"It's going to be ok," Dan'yel assures me. "You're going to be just fine. You're safe now," he assures me. No, we were supposed to have more time together before the baby came and the demon returned. "It's okay. When the pain comes you have to breathe."

"It comes too soon!" I scream.

"The baby will be fine, you just have to worry about getting through this yourself," he says giving me a smile. People rush forward, and carry me on a piece of fabric stretched between two pieces of wood.

"When the child comes forth the demon will return," I warn my husband.

"I know." He replies. Dan'yel kisses my cheek.

"You do love me," I say.

"Yes, I do." And there is no room in my heart left for doubt.

* * *

Jacob

Ok, so trying to get her to switch jobs didn't work. And then there was the fact that she has a kid. I've got a grandkid I've never seen.

"I have cancer, Sam."

Her face, yeah, I should have done this on the phone like I had originally intended. Then I never would have had to see that face.

"What?"

"Lymphoma."

I can see her brain accessing all the information about she has about that, "That's bad."

"Well, it's not good. But it's not the worst. Don't you worry. I'll be around for a while."

"Oh God, Dad!" he says with a big hug.

"I was hoping to stick around long enough to see you become an astronaut." Sam shakes her head, "Sweetheart, I don't care what it is you do in that mountain, nothing in the world can live up to the chance of actually going to space. Not for you. It's something you're wanted your whole life. And I admit it, I want to see you fulfill your life's dreams before I die."

"It's my dream. Doesn't that make it up to me?"

"Fathers have dreams, too. You should understand that now with your daughter."

She gives me a really sad look, "Sorry, I can't…"

"All right. Like I said, this thing's going to go on for months, so you don't have to check up on me tomorrow. Can I at least meet this granddaughter of mine?"

"Of course Dad, I'm so sorry. I wish...I should have called you as soon as I adopted her."

"I understand why...maybe you shouldn't let me meet her. I mean...it's not like I'm going to be around forever."

"Dad," she pleads, "I want Cassie to meet you."

* * *

Daniel

"Dan'yel" Sha're screams.

"It's all right, Sha're. Push." I tell her giving Janet a nod as she checks on Sha're once again.

"No! The demon will come back!" she says. Poor woman, she's way beyond terrified.

"You have to push," Janet says.

"But I will lose you, Daniel! Please!" Sha're pleads.

"Look at me." I say.

"Please!" she screams.

"Look at me! I love you! I will always love you. You understand?" I say, "The Goa'uld will never be able to take that away from us. Do you understand me? Never."

"Oh Daniel, the pain comes again!" she cries.

"I'm here," I assure her

"Dan'yel, Dan'yel" she screams.

"I'm here! And now the baby is here. Now you have to push."

"Forgive me," she whispers. The baby cries out. Sha're's eyes glow.

"It's a boy," Janet says happily. I think about what that would have meant if I hadn't got her out of there. Apophis no doubt wanted a boy.

Sha're's body uses the Goa'uld voice and says, "Give me the child." Janet holds the baby away from her, and SF's surround the woman who is using my wife's body. They drag her to the prison cell. Janet hands me a baby. A tiny, premature baby. He's red and covered in budging veins everywhere.*

* * *

Cassie

Mom agreed to meet Janet and me at the monuments after her ceremony. When she arrives there is an older man walking with her.

"Mom!" I say taking a running jump into her arms.

"Hey, sweetie!" she says swinging me around. "Honey, I want you to meet my Dad."

"Your Dad?" I say blinking up. I have a Grandpa? How come she never mentioned him? How come Mark never mentioned him? Did she know he was going to be here? What is he like? What am I supposed to call him?

"Cassie," he says with a smile holding out his arms. Mom is still holding me, and he looks kind of weak. I'm not so sure he could hold a twelve year old. Granted, most people don't hold twelve year olds. I've just gotten in the habit of being held, because Mom and all of her friends are super strong. So I climb down, and give Grandpa a standing hug.

"Which Smithsonian are you dying to see?" he asks.

"How did you know?" I ask him.

He laughs, "You're a, Carter, aren't you?"

"Air and Space Museum, they have a space race exhibit," I tell him.

"You like space, you know Sam has a chance to go to space?" my new Grandpa asks me.

"But, Mom…" I stop looking at her in horror.

"It's ok," she says tapping my shoulder.

Grandpa (I'm calling him that in my own head at least) looks confused.

"Dad, she's twelve years old, and trying not to let out classified information. Let's not talk about it, ok?"

"Cassie, knows what you really do?" he asks.

"We found her on a mission," Mom says.

He looks at me with this pity in his eyes. I haven't seen much of the pity lately, most people have gotten used to me, and don't think about my past.

"She almost died. She had a heart condition. She's fine now, but," Mom looks at me really worried, "She had surgery, and the paddles, and…we almost lost her."

I give her a hug.

"She's fine now?" Grandpa asks.

Sam nods.

"Maybe I should use her doctor," he says.

"Janet is amazing," I say pointing to her.

"Are you sick, Sir?" Janet asks concerned.

Mom turns away, and..oh no, she's crying. The last time she cried she was…planning on leaving me alone in a bomb shelter to explode.

"Is Grandpa going to die?" I ask. No one answers me.

"I have leukemia," Grandpa says. I don't know what that means, but I can tell from their faces it is bad.

"You can fix him right?" I ask Janet.

"Cassie," Grandpa says, "That was just a joke. I've got really good doctors. Ones that specialize in fixing this. They are doing their best."

"I'm sorry, sir," Janet says, but as she says it she's looking at Mom.

"I'm thinking of moving to the Springs," Grandpa says.

"You're welcome to live with us, Dad," Mom says.

"I couldn't impose like that."

"It's never an imposition if you love the person," Mom says.

* * *

Daniel

I haven't put the kid down since he was born, except the time I went to visit Sha're. Really Amaunet, that was awful. Something, I don't want to repeat. But I know I will.

I'm really not sure about this kid. I mean, I should take him, but he is so small. God, he's small.

"Daniel!" Sam says. "Wow," she is truly awed by this tiny baby. I hand him to her, and she goggles all over him. "I heard you found Sha're."

"Well, she isn't quite Sha're anymore."

"We'll find a way to save her. I mean we saw Thor's hammer. We'll find something else like that. And at least you know she's safe. The worse part of my brief time as a Gou'ald was when I was afraid I was going to hurt Cassie or one of you guys. When I was in a cell, it was better."

"Thanks," he says.

"And you have a little baby," she says in a cooy baby voice.

"Well little for sure, I'm not sure about the "my" part.""

"He's your step son, Daniel," she says looking at me completely confused.

"I know, and Sha're wanted me to promise to take care of him myself. But I only promised to make sure he's safe. I'm thinking of bringing him to Kasuf."

"So, you're going to drop him off with his Grandpa?" she asks with obvious condemnation in her voice.

"It's not like I'm proposing feeding him to the wolves, Sam."

She's silent for a little while looking at the baby, "Daniel, you have to keep him on this side of the iris. If you really won't take him, I will."

"What?" I'm so shocked that I can't even begin to think about her offer.

"You know when I was considering taking Cassie…one of the things that scared me is how old she was. She was practically a teenager, and I have no idea what to do with a teenager. A baby, God that would have been easy to decide on. And here you are looking at him and you're wishing he was Cassie's age."

"That's not the problem," I tell her, although I'm not even sure what the problem is.

"Remember when I was thinking about Cassie. You told me I couldn't not take her, because I thought I wouldn't be a good mother. The same thing goes for you and this little one," she says looking at me.

Shit, that was at least part of the reason. "When Sha're and I were together. She wanted a baby, and I wasn't ready. Now it's the same, except she can't take care of him," I say.

"Before we know it we'll have Sha're back, and she'll be taking care of her son. Until then, who is going to take care of your step-son?" she asks me. As she says it she catches my eye. A faint smile covers her face, "You love him," she says handing the kid back to me.

I did, no use denying it.

"Sam, when you first took Cassie, I said I would be there for you. I…haven't been," I say lowering my head.

"You were," she insists.

"Not like Jack was," I say hanging my head a bit.

"Of course not, he's Super Dad. But you don't have to be Super Dad. He'll settle for normal Dad."

"God he's tiny," I say looking at him.

She smiles.

"So how was your trip? Got your award?" I ask.

"Well, my Dad was there. He was justifiably furious that I didn't tell him about adopting Cassie," I flinch, "Then the Colonel watched someone die. And it was a reporter threatening to expose the Stargate program, and he isn't entirely sure he can believe that the Stargate program is somehow responsible. Then Dad tells me he has cancer."

"What?" I say.

"Yeah," she says closing her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Sam."

"I asked him to come live with me."

"How sick is he?"

"He seems fine but…cancer," she mutters. I hold her and she cries for awhile. "Janet looked into a nurse nanny combo for when I'm off world. I was going to play it off to Dad like he's there to help Cassie with her math, and to Cassie like she's there to help Dad with his cancer. But it would be easier to dance around offending both of them if I could say she was there for a newborn," she smiles, "Just an option, if you're thinking of taking care of him." I don't respond, but this idea is sounding less scary all the time, "And the on base day care is excellent. I looked into it for Cassie. Only reason I decided for the after school program over it is because I would have had to pick her up from school and drop her off there instead of just picking her up from the after school program. But for a newborn not in school…"

I look down in the face of…my son.

She sees my look and grins, "I'd love to pick up some necessities for you. Car seat, crib, clothes, diapers."

"Let me get you my credit card."

She gives me a huge hug, and looks at the baby, "Sweetie, you have a really great Daddy.'

* * *

Sha're

I am trapped again. The time with my husband was so brief. He visits the monster, but it is not the same as being with him. It is like watching him on a television. Better than nothing, but not like living. I am glad she can no longer hurt anyone.

I wonder what will happen to my son. I know that Dan'yel did not want a baby, but I cannot imagine him not loving a baby that already exists. He's here, and he needs…the thing that is the closest to a father he will ever have.

"Sha're?" My Dan'yel has returned, "I'm assuming Sha're is in there somewhere. I just wanted to tell you, Sha're, to be clear," he says when the demon within me snarls, "I'm going to take care of the baby. I'm working on a name for him. Sam…ah, you met her once on Abydos, right before…" he closes his eyes, my being taken caused so much pain, "Anyway, Sam is buying some necessities a car seat and diapers and what not for me. Shopping is not my thing. My teammates, they're going to help me." Suddenly a wide smile breaks out on his face, "I have a son. Sort of."

He's going to take care of him. He thinks of it as his son. This Sam…I'll have to figure out how to watch her. But my baby…my baby is safe.

*I realize the baby on the show did not look like this, because obviously they don't turn real preemies into actors. However, I thought I'd go ahead and describe a real preemie. Granted, we're not sure how early the baby was, but Sha're says the baby "comes too soon," and she's only been on Abydos for"a season" doesn't seem as long as a full term pregnancy. Granted we're talking alien planet here, but still.


	9. Tok'ra I

Jacob

The phone rings. If Cassie wasn't at school she'd be practically attacking the thing right now. That girl has a serious phone obsession.

"Dad, hi, it's me, Sam," she says.

"Hey, Sam what are you calling about?" I ask cheerfully.

"What do you mean, why am I calling? Dad? You have cancer, you can't…"

"You don't need to check up on me a million times a day Sam. You do realize that asking me how I am over and over doesn't actually make me any better."

"All right, okay, never mind. Listen, uh, I'm about to go on a little trip."

"Another trip for the Air Force? I never knew you did so many missions off Cheyenne Mountain. Where are you going anyway?"

"Yes, it's for the Air Force. It's…it's not important where I'm going Dad. What's important is that I may be gone a while, and I just wanted to call and see how you're doing."

"I'll be fine Sam."

"Ok, I already called the nanny. Can you just pick up Cassie from school?"

"I think I can manage that," he mumbles.

"Right, the nanny is going to pick up Shifu from day care."

* * *

Sam

I hang up the phone thinking about how this impromptu mission will leave them all alone again. Dad has been getting sicker, and he has been trying to hide his sickness from me.

"Your father?" General Hammond asks.

"Yes, Sir."

"How is Jacob?"

"He claims he's okay, not that he'd tell me if he wasn't. Sir, I hate the feeling that I am going on a mission where I've felt like I might be leaving something behind. Like I might miss something important."

"Understandable. I'll put a temporary replacement on SG-1. You can stay here."

"I wish I could, Sir, but I don't think I'm replaceable on this one. The memories Jolinar left in my mind could be invaluable on this mission and no one else has them."

"True, but your father…"

"Sir, it's okay, he doesn't want me around anyway."

"Sam, I've known Jacob a long time. That's not true." Right now I'm not talking to General Hammond my superior officer. Right now I am talking to George, friend of the family.

"Sir, he's always too concerned about appearing the strong soldier. The last thing he would want is for me to see him in a hospital bed losing a battle. I should get going Sir; I don't wanna hold things up."

I give a sigh and start walking toward the gate. Hammond calls me back, "Captain!" "You're more like your father than you'd like to admit." He is perhaps the most qualified person on the planet to make the assessment that we are similar. And strangely, for the first time in my life, I don't view being the same as my dad as an insult.

* * *

Jack

"There is no evidence of footprints or tracks of any kind. If the Tok'ra were here they have not been near the Gate in many days," Teal'c offers. The man could be a tracker.

"Ah, where's that yellow brick road when you need it, eh Dorothy?" I say earning an eyebrow raise from Teal'c.

"There's some sort of dunes over there," The tracker says.

"Dunes it is," I say cheerfully.

"The Tok'ra are known for their ability to mask their trails. They are, as you say, stealthy in their actions," Teal'c says in the seconds before we are completely surrounded by what I presume are Tok'ra pointing staff weapons at us. There is nothing I hate more than when someone gets the drop on me. I'm used to being the one that gets the drop on other people.

"Yeah, stealthy would be a good word, Teal'c," Daniel says.

"Good guys or bad guys?" I'm mostly asking Carter and Teal'c who would seem to be the ones that know, but it's actually one of the Tok'ra who answer my question.

"We mean you no harm. But I warn you, if you make any aggressive moves, we will fire upon you."

"Same here," I say. He has to know I'm not a pushover.

He laughs at me, "Well, I think we have the advantage. There are more of us."

"This is true," I reply.

One of them grumbles angrily looking at Teal'c, "This one is a Jaffa. Apophis sect."

"I am no longer in the service of Apophis," Teal'c says. He's always annoyed when people don't get the whole defecting thing. Probably has something to do with some people on earth trying to dissect him since they didn't believe that he defected.

"Who then are you in service to?" the snide Tok'ra asks.

"I am allied with these, the Tau'ri, in battle against Apophis," Teal'c replies.

"And all other Goa'uld," Daniel points out.

"Be careful, Daniel," Carter warns.

"Why?" asks the oblivious anthropologist. But then again he doesn't have as many memories of Carter's time as a Goa'uld/Tok'ra as the rest of us do. He didn't exactly visit her. At least he manned up when it was his wife in the prison cell, but I still think he should have been there more for Carter.

"Because they are Goa'uld," Sam says.

"Do not call us that!" one says with glowing eyes, "We are not Goa'uld!" wow, apparently they are even more touchy about being called Goa'uld than Teal'c is about being accused of serving Apophis.

* * *

Jacob

"Well," I say smiling at my Granddaughter, "It looks like it's just going to be you and me playing Life today." Cassie developed an obsession with the board game not long after I came to live with her and my daughter.

"Not tonight. I have a big math test tomorrow. I finally caught on to fractions, and now we're on to coordinate plane," she says making a face like 'coordinate plane' is a dirty word. "Did mom say if she was caught off…" her eyes get that panicked look they always get when she's said something she not supposed to. "Out of the country?" she offers.

"She couldn't be out of the country. We just saw her this morning," I offer.

"Don't be so sure," Cassie says, "Mom has planes that move very very fast."

"Nothing moves fast enough that you can drop your kid off in school, go to another country, and make it home for dinner."

"Actually, a lot of the ….countries mom goes to are like that, and when she is going to be gone longer she almost always knows." The kid looks worried.

"I'm sure if there is something wrong she would have told us," he offers.

"But you actually talked to mom right?" Cassie suddenly asks her eyes getting bright.

"I did," I say, not quite sure what she is so excited about.

"Well, then, everything is fine."

"You know phones do work all over the world?" I ask her because Cassie doesn't know much about technology. Something that screams "cover story is a lie, cover story is a lie."

"Right," she says. "So is Mrs. Sanders coming?" she says hopefully.

"Your Grandpa isn't enough?" I ask playfully.

"It's not that," she says with an eye roll, "But if Mrs. Sanders comes she's going to bring Shifu with her."

Cassie is fascinated by the baby. She's also super protective of him.

"Yes, she's coming," I say. My daughter has tried to fool me about the reasons behind the nanny's involvement. Tried to convince me she's here for the kids. The woman has medical training, more than she would need to care for a slightly premature baby, with few health concerns. I appreciate her overabundance of concern, but I really can take care of myself, and the kids.

But I wasn't a very good father. She's protecting them from that. But I wasn't a good father, because I wasn't there. And now I am here.

"Hello!" Mrs. Sander's voice greets.

"Hi!" Cassie runs to greet her, and tries to take the baby from her.

"He's sleeping honey," Mrs. Sanders says as he walks off to put the baby down. When she comes out she looks at Cassie, "Math homework tonight?"

"Test," she says.

"We'll get started right after supper," she says.

"I'll make supper while you work with her," I offer.

"You should probably take a nap Mr. Carter," Mrs. Sanders says carefully.

"I'm fine," I say. I hate being patronized by anyone. She just fixes me with the glare she uses to get Cassie to clean her room. "I napped earlier," I tried.

She raises her eyebrow at me, but I ignore her and head out to the kitchen. Just then I hit the floor. Damn it! Turns out this is one time I should have listened to my 'nurse.'

* * *

Sam

This is complicated. I'm trying to stay with what is happening enough that I don't get totally lost in the memories, but I'm also trying to go into the memories enough that I can be helpful right now.

"You know, in some galaxies, this is called loitering. How long do ya think we can keep it up?" Jack says.

Normally I would laugh, but I'm so focused. I'm pretty sure I recognize one of the Tok'ras. "Martouf."

"I do not know this woman," he says defensively.

"But I'm right, aren't I. That's your name, Martouf," I say. I'm not sure how I know this, but I do know that I know it.

"It is. How do you know me?" he demands.

"I don't. But I knew someone who did. His name was Jolinar of Malk-shur," Just saying his name floods me with so much of whom he is.

"Where is Jolinar?" and there is sadness in his eyes.

"He died saving my life," I say trying not to let that memory flood my mind.

"That's why we're here, to seek out the Tok'ra," Daniel offers.

"Assuming of course you are the Tok'ra," Jack says, always the trusting one, but it's kept me alive more than once.

"And if we're not?" one sneers.

"Well, I guess we all start shooting, there's blood, death, hard feelings…it'd suck," Jack says.

"And if we are this thing you call Tok'ra?" the Tok'ra asks.

"If you are indeed the Tok'ra of Jaffa legend, we should form an alliance," Teal'c says with every ounce of Jaffa pride.

"I learned a lot from Jolinar. Enough to know that we could be good friends. And frankly, enough to know that you are the Tok'ra." I do know that this guy is Tok'ra, but I actually don't know that much about the Tok'ra. I know that they hid a lot, and that they ran a lot, and that they use Goa'uld technology, but that's actually all I remember.

"I believe this one speaks the truth. Perhaps we should…just listen to what they have to say," Martouf says, and as I look at him love covers my heart. But it's artificial, external love, like Narim's emotion device.

They take us deep into the crystal tunnel that I remember now the Tok'ra use (it helps explain the lack of footprints). I'm remembering more and more about the Tok'ra being here. They leave us alone for a bit, and Jack doesn't waste the time. He starts asking me questions right away.

"Carter, what's the story with this Martouf?" he asks, and Daniel's got on his big brother face, and is oviously interested in the answer as well.

"I'm not sure. I get the feeling I know almost all of these people, but my memories of Martouf are the strongest. It's like I have some weird bond with him."

Eyebrow raises, and not just Teal'c's.

* * *

George

God, there is nothing I hate more than seeing a friend in a hospital bed. I saw it so many times in my early years in the service. I guess the part that is the most disconcerting is how a hospital bed is capable of making the strongest person look weak. He's hooked up to oxygen. But that is his only connection to the wall. I've learned over the years that you can rate how bad off someone is by how many times they are connected.

"George." He says.

"Jacob. Are you all right?" I ask seriously.

"I've been better," he says. His sense of humor reminds me of Jack's. Except, Jack actually makes jokes. Jacob just says the truth with a smile at the end that makes it seem like he told a joke if you don't look at it too closely.

"I was under the impression that the cancer hadn't gone this far," I say softly.

"So was I. They cleaned out all the lymph nodes. The problem is, apparently, one squadron of those little buggers got themselves reassigned to my liver," Jacob says. I figured they didn't know how bad it was. Otherwise Sammy wouldn't have gone to see the Tok'ra no matter how important it is. Sammy is her father's daughter in so many ways. The pretending to be invincible, the strength, the demand of perfection from herself. But she isn't like him in the most important way. She never puts the Air Force in front of family. Especially not since she had a daughter.

"Let me make a call, get Captain Carter recalled," I say. I know that Sam would want to be here for this. Jacob catches my arm as I try to reach for the phone.

"No, there's no need," he insists. Oh, why should he try to be so strong? Doesn't he know how bad it would hurt her if she came back and he was gone?

"Jacob, she should be here," he says.

"Why? Let me tell you something George, my little girl grew up seeing Daddy go off to God knows where to fight God knows who, and I always came home alive and well. Now, I'm going to let her sit here and watch me lose a war? To some little runts so small I can't even see 'em?" Oh, that is so Carter, and not just Jacob.

"That's exactly what she thought you'd say," I say hanging up the phone. Carter does know her father, "How about doing us all a favor, Jake."

"Huh?" Jake says.

"Cut the brave soldier routine. It's your daughter we're talking about here. She should have a chance to be here to see you through this," I insist.

"I got a feeling she's on a pretty important mission right now. Am I right?" Jacob says.

"Well, yes, but there are others…" I say.

"Then do me a favor and honor my wishes. Leave her there," he says with what probably amounts to all the strength he has left.

"This is ridiculous," I say. Damn stubborn Carters.

"There is one thing you could do for me, George," Jacob says.

"Anything," and I feel like I really would do anything for my old friend.

"Tell me what my little girl's doing," he says looking right into my eyes. I can almost guarantee you he's figured some of this out. He's a smart man, and he's been living in the same house as his daughter, and a twelve year old who knows top secret information.

"Except that. You know it's classified," I say. But I really do want to break protocol.

"George, they're telling me I don't have much time left. Who am I going to tell? God?" Now that is a joke that really reminds me of my second in command.

"I'm sorry, Jake," I say as he gives me a glare.

* * *

Daniel

Well, Jack finally got to use the classic, "Take me to your leader" line. No doubt he's been wanting to use that one his whole life. Certainly since the first time he went through the Stargate.

"You are Garshaw of Belote?" Teal'c asks. He seems to be impressed by her name, that's a good sign.

"I am," the female Tok'ra says.

"She is the most hunted Goa'uld of all time," Teal'c explains. Well that's an impressive credential.

"We prefer you to not refer to us as Goa'uld," she says grumpily.

"Yeah, we got that earlier. What should we call you?" I ask.

"I assume you are from the first world, the Tau'ri. Is that correct?" she asks, and she sounds almost as impressed by this as Teal'c did by her name.

"Yeah," Jack says not to notice her awe.

"You were you among those who rid the galaxy of the Supreme System Lord, Ra?" she asks.

"Yup, that's us, that…that…yeah, we're those," Jack says awkwardly. He doesn't actually do well with praise.

"Then in a sense, you are Tok'ra," she says. Ah! Should have made that connection a long time ago.

"Of course! Tok'ra. Tok…Tok Ra, against Ra! Thank you for sharing that," I exclaim.

"We still don't know what to call her," Jack prompts.

"We, too, are Tok'ra," she says.

"Finally!" Jack proclaims.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," I say formally. I have taken on the roll of alien ambassador.

"I understand you were sent to us by Jolinar of Malkshur. Please, tell us how that came to be," she says. I'll let Carter field that one.

"Well, I…uh…it's a long story. We were on this planet, Nasya, and the Goa'uld were attacking. Jolinar's host was killed, so he jumped into me while I was trying to save his host," she says. Suddenly I feel like I should have shielded her from having to explain that.

"Please, excuse me. Did you say that Jolinar's host was killed?" he looks like he's grieving.

"Yes. I'm sorry," Sam says having picked up on the same thing.

"But Jolinar lived on," he says with intensity. Oh, another alien falling for Sam.

"Ah, yeah, for a while at least. Inside of me."

"So am I to understand you did not invite Jolinar to use you as a host?" the leader says.

"That is correct. He did it in an emergency situation to escape an assassin," Sam says.

"Then if you were not a voluntary host, how do we know that you did not kill Jolinar yourself?"

"Um, well, because I…I didn't. I mean, I guess you're just going to have to trust us on that."

"And why should we trust you?"

Jack stands up completely annoyed and walks toward them, "You know something? I've been asking myself the same damn question. Why should we trust you? You are, after all, Goa'ulds."

Jack, and his big mouth, "Jack…!" I protests.

He points a finger at me, "Ah! Don't! We've done nothing but get interrogated here. Now, are we prisoners? And are you Goa'ulds?"

I try to stop him, but he points a finger at me again, "Neh!"

Garshaw says, "You are not and I have told you we are not Goa'uld."

But I know that Jack is at the end of his patience, and we are going to go get no more politeness out of him, "I didn't…Why do you talk like that? And what's with the glowing eyes? Huh? Might it have something to do with a little reptilian activity in your heads?"

"We have symbiotic creatures within us, yes," Garshaw admits.

"Well then!" Jack proclaims quite proud of himself.

I decide to diplomatically translate what Jack just said, "Well then, you can see how we might think you would be a danger to humans. You take humans as hosts."

"Goa'uld take hosts. Tok'ra do not. Ours wish to be so," Garshaw patiently explains.

"We have a truly symbiotic relationship," Martouf says staring at Sam. He's actually been doing a lot of staring at Sam. I guess I'll have to be pretty serious in my role as honorary big brother.

"No offence, but why would any human volunteer to be a host for a Goa'uld?" I say trying to keep things diplomatic, while making sure to say everything Jack would want to say, otherwise he is going to say it, just more bluntly.

Garshaw bows her head down, and starts talking in a normal voice, "Um…Perhaps I can…I can help you? I am Yosuf. I am Garshaw's host. I speak freely without restraint or censor. All of us who serve as hosts volunteer to do so freely."

Interesting, I think, "Okay, well, maybe you can answer my question then. Why would any human volunteer for…for that?"

Yosuf in her normal voice continues the story, "Well, with the blending I gain all of Garshaw's knowledge, her wisdom," she laughs, "more than any human could ever attain. And my lifespan is twice what it would be without the blending. And for all this, all I have to do is…share my physical body."

"So you've kind of got a little Faustian deal going here…selling your soul for immortality," huh, who knew Jack knew words like Faustian deal. I think back on what he knew about black holes, and begin to suspect that the man is a whole lot smarter than he pretends to be.

"What you understand as soul…remains intact," Yosuf insists.

"So this…symbiotic relationship is what makes the Tok'ra different from the Goa'uld," I clarify.

"Yes."

"It is also this that has thwarted the Tok'ra's efforts against the Goa'uld, "Teal'c says.

"Your Jaffa friend is correct. If you'd like to come with me, I will show you what he means." Yosuf says as she leads us down the tunnel. She shows us an old woman who is lying on a crystal bed while a few other people look after her, "Allow me to introduce Selmak."

"Her host's name is Saroosh. She is one of the oldest and wisest among us, an important leader for our cause. However, she is unfortunately very ill, and will soon die," Martouf offers.

"How old is she?" I ask.

"She will be 203 of your years in a few of your days." Well, that was old enough that I didn't have to feel to terribly sorry for her. Still it was awfully young for a Goa'uld.

"I'm sorry. I was under the impression that Goa'uld lived much longer than 200 years," I say.

"Goa'uld do, the Tok'ra don't."

"That's because you don't use the sarcophagus, right?" Sam asks. I'm beginning to wonder just exactly how many Tok'ra memories Sam has.

"That's correct. We believe to do so would drain the good from our hearts," Martouf says.

"I can vouch for that," I say flinching at the painful memory of sarcophagus addiction.

"That's why our numbers don't grow large enough to defeat the massive forces aligned with System Lords." Martouf says.

"Zero or negative population growth. Since you won't take new hosts by force, most of the time the Goa'uld dies with the host," Sam says, and there is true sadness in her face. She actually has an attachment to these people.

"And this is what is about to happen to Selmak," says a Tok'ra who is already grieving for her friend.

"Unless one of you wishes to volunteer to serve as a host," she says hopefully.

"I'm going to pass on that," Jack says sarcastically.

"Yes, although it does s…sound very fascinating, I think it's a little too long term for me," I say. I can't imagine leaving my son and wife such as she is, to come here for that.

Sam looks like she's about ready to start crying, "I'm sorry, I've already been through that."

* * *

Martouf

Jolinar is dead. Rosha is dead. The woman I have loved for a century is gone. I don't even get a body. I don't get a funeral. I don't get to say goodbye. But she isn't completely gone. There are tiny little scraps of her left in Samantha of the Tau'ri. She walks away from the group and splashes water on her face. Jolinar used to do that in the morning when she woke up before me. Then she would return to bed dripping with water. I touch her shoulder, and she gasps in surprise.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," I apologize.

"You shouldn't sneak up on a person like that," she says accusatorily. Many Tok'ra come in behind me.

"We didn't mean to upset you with the suggestion of becoming a host." Yosuf says.

"Well, as long as you take no for an answer," Jack says. My stomach turns at the thought of taking an unwilling host. It does another flip when I think about how my love did it. Jolinar was so gentle, but she chose the life of a warrior. Hundreds of years of a warrior, and she acquired many deeds which filled her with guilt.

"Be assured that we have never forced a human to become a host. It goes against all that we believe in," I tell them

"Yeah, well, you know Captain Carter didn't exactly invite Jolinar in," O'Neill says bitterly.

"Yes Sir, but I believe he was sincere about wanting to leave me as soon as he found another host," Carter says, and for a moment her eyes remind me of Rosha.

"If he found one," O'Neill says. This one is extra protective.

"I'm curious, if you're not interested in becoming a host, then why did you seek us out?" Yosuf asks.

"To form an alliance," Daniel tells us.

"Yes, so you've said, but it's apparent that the thought of an alliance disgusts you, "Yosuf says confused.

"Wait a minute; you think by 'form an alliance' we mean we want to be hosts?" Daniel says somewhat horrified.

"Well what other sort of an alliance could a non-blended human and a Tok'ra want to have?" Yosuf asks.

"Well, we do have a common enemy, how about a friendship?" O'Neill says.

"We could share information," Samantha offers. She already has a lot of information based on what I've seen so far.

"We can engage in battles, side by side," the Jaffa offers.

"I do not believe you could be of any service to us. You are neither strong enough, nor advanced enough," Garshaw says dismissively.

"We're not?" O'Neill says completely offended.

"You are incorrect. It was these who destroyed two Goa'uld motherships," The Jaffa proclaims proudly.

"That was you? We had operatives who died on board those vessels," Garshaw moves toward them furious. We lost good men that day.

"Oh boy." Daniel says worriedly.

"We…we were only defending our planet," Samantha offers.

"We didn't know that they had travelled to the Tau'ri. This information, it explains a lot. At least now we know how and why our operatives died, and for that we are truly grateful," Yosuf says much calmer than Garshaw, after all she had many fewer years to get to know the people who died on that ship.

"So maybe we can be of service," O'Neill says still a little miffed by the patronizing way he has been talked to.

"Perhaps you are correct. I will try to convince the Council of Tok'ra to meet with you," Yosuf says spinning out of the room.

O'Neill stops her with his voice, "Ah, excuse me? Are we prisoners here?"

Yosuf tries to turn a diplomatic answer their way, "Well, ah, until we decide what level of information to entrust to you, um, we cannot allow you to roam this facility freely. I'm sorry."

I give Samantha a big smile, "Would you like to take a walk on the surface?"

"What?" O'Neill asks protectively.

"Why?" Samantha asks.

"I would like to hear more of Jolinar of Malkshur," I say. How I miss her.

"Okay," Samantha says.

"Well, yeah, sure," O'Neill says warily, getting up as if he was going to follow us.

"I'm only inviting Captain Carter. What we have to discuss is private. I hope you understand," I say pointy.

"Actually, no, I don't," he says not sitting down.

"Colonel, I…I think I should go with him. I think I need to go with him. There's a lot of questions he could answer about Jolinar," Samantha says.

"I assure you, Sir, she will be very safe with me," I say.

"Colonel, I need to do this, please," she says.

He reluctantly says, "Okay Son, but I want you to have her back by 11 o'clock. You understand?" I think there is supposed to be a joke in there somewhere, but I am not sure where it is.

"Are you feeling any better?" I ask concerned.

"Yeah, thanks."

"Please, ah, tell me of Jolinar."

"I get the feeling you knew him way better than I ever did."

"I'm sure. For one thing, he was a she."

"What? You're kidding!"

"Well, actually, that isn't accurate. The symbiote does not have a gender. However, Jolinar has always been in female hosts."

"Well, actually, the host I found him in, her in, was a male." I'm not a huge fan of that idea, but I'll try not to dwell on it.

"Really? Must have been another method of hiding from the Ashrak. Tell me of Jolinar's last days."

"Well, it's kind of weird, it's like I'm left with these intuitions, feelings. I know this; she sacrificed herself to save me. That speaks a ton about her character as far as I'm concerned." God she was such a good woman. I don't know if hearing more about this is a good idea, "I'm sorry, are you okay?" she asks.

Lantash takes over. I'm relieved, "I'm sorry; Martouf is having a more difficult time handling this than I am."

"So you're his symbiote, Lantash, right?" she asks, and I can tell she's even more disturbed by the idea of two people in one body than I am by my mate sharing a body with a man.

"Yes. Martouf is the name of my host," Lantash offers.

"Yeah, I knew that. I seem to know pretty much everything about you. When I'm with you, I feel a different sort of, I don't know, recognition, than I do with the other Tok'ra. Is there something different about your relationship to Jolinar?"

I can't believe she didn't figure this out already, but since she hasn't I'm going to tell her, "Jolinar and I were together for nearly…100 of your years. She was my mate."

Samantha suddenly looks around awkwardly, "Oh. Ho…How does that work? She was whose mate? Martouf or Lantash?"

"Both." Then Lantash gives control of the body back to me, "Now let me attempt an explanation. As I said before, ours is a truly symbiotic relationship. So what I feel, Lantash feels. And what Lantash feels, I feel."

"So when one of you is in love, you both feel it."

"Yes, we love as one. And, and we mourn as one." From her face I can tell that she feels at least a little bit of the 'love as one' part of it at least.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. We want you to truly comprehend this so that you'll better understand us."

"Okay, well, I am curious. What...what was Jolinar's host like?"

"Jolinar's host, Rosha, was very beautiful. She had eyes like the oceans of Marloon, hair the color of the sand of Abydos, and her smile was, was as infectious as her laughter. In fact, Rosha looked very much like you Captain Carter. You are very beautiful. You'd make a lovely new host for Selmak." Samantha turns away, and I can tell that she's truly repulsed by the idea.

"I'm sorry, I…I've said something to offend you."

"No. Yes! It's difficult enough with just the remnants of Jolinar in here. The last thing I need is another person…symbiote…whatever."

"I didn't mean to upset you so," I say. I don't like that the only thing left of Jolinar is inside of something repulsed by the very essence of who I am. She's terrified of being blended with one of us. I move over by her and crouch down next to where she is sitting.

"It's just the thought of going through that again," she says, and I can tell that whatever the experience was for her it was extremely traumatizing.

"Don't give it another moment's thought. It was an inappropriate suggestion. Please understand that it came from honest, deep desire to have Jolinar back in my life in some form." It is hard when the love of your life is not completely gone, but is out of your reach.

"This must be what it feels like to be schizophrenic."

"What is schizophrenic?"

"It's a mental illness humans have. It's like a split personality. Two people in one brain. I mean, there's me, Samantha Carter, and then there's this leftover part of Jolinar that feels things like…"

"Like…?" I prompt; we're getting down to the bottom of this now.

"Like some pretty deep feelings for you," she says.

"Jolinar's left this imprint on your mind?" I ask trying not to grin to broadly.

"Yes."

"I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, but…" I say somewhat offended by her reluctance.

"No! It's just…what you had, you and Jolinar, you were in love longer than I've been alive! Hell, longer than I will be alive!"

"She left this feeling with you? You can feel how she felt for me?" I wonder if this isn't part of the reason she came through the Stargate to find the Tok'ra in the first place.

"Yes. And it's confusing the hell outta me."

"Why?" I have been blended for so long; I have almost forgotten what it was like to not be blended. I can't quite imagine what it would be like to have only one mind in a body. To be alone, to have no one to work with. Only one set of emotions, one set of thoughts. It would be lonely and empty.

"Because it's not just in my mind like a memory, I feel it. Like I've had this relationship with you for 100 years. I don't know if I can describe it with words. What Jolinar felt for you, I don't even think I'm capable of comprehending. And I'm not really thrilled with everything that Jolinar did when she was in my body." I just let the silence hang; I know that if she wants to tell me she's going to tell me soon. "She threatened my daughter."

"Did she hurt her?" I ask concerned.

"No, I don't think she would have. Jack was there, and he made sure she didn't. But I don't believe she would have hurt her anyway."

"No, she wouldn't have," I say, "I can't imagine having children. Tok'ra don't have children. Still, I am glad your mate was there to protect your daughter."

"No…Jack isn't my mate. My daughter is adopted." I still can't quite picture this. There must have been a time, before my blending when I thought about having children, if so…I don't remember it.

"Maybe we should communicate in a way that doesn't require words," I say as I grab onto her hands and look into her eyes.

"Sam!" her friend shouts as she pulls herself out of the moment.

"Daniel," she says dropping my hand a little guiltily.

"Learning a lot about Jolinar?" Daniel says slightly accusatory.

"Yeah, you'd be surprised how much," Samantha says giving me a smile.

"Um, the Tok'ra Council's agreed to meet with us. Jack thought you might want to be there," Daniel says.

* * *

Jack

"Colonel Makepeace? What are you doing here?" I ask him.

"General Hammond sent us to extract Captain Carter," he replies.

"Why?" Carter asks in a way that implies he already knows the answer.

"I'm afraid it's your father, Captain. He's in the hospital in a serious condition." Makepeace replies.

Damn it, he was supposed to have more time, "You have to let her go home."

"I'm sorry, I cannot do that," Garshaw says.

"Why not?" I ask.

"I'm afraid we have made our decision. We have decided not to accept your request for an alliance," Garshaw says."

"Therefore you shall be our guests until such time as we decide to move to another planet." Cordesh says.

"What?" I ask in shock.

"I'm sure you understand with your knowledge of this planet, you have become a security risk. We cannot allow you to leave until we have moved somewhere else that you do not know about," Garshaw says.

Fabulous. They are still claiming that we are not prisoners, but there must be some conflict between our definition of that word and theirs because we're not allowed to leave. Since we are not willing to let them put a snake in our heads they are not going to let us go until they move. Then suddenly we have some new people in our prison caves.

"Well surely as Tok'ra you're more compassionate than that? Captain Carter's father is dying, I mean at least let her go," Daniel pleads with them desperately.

"She is the highest risk of all. She contains the memories of Jolinar of Malk-shur," Cordesh says coolly.

"We are not the only ones who have knowledge of this planet. Those we left behind on the Tau'ri also possess this knowledge," Teal'c points out. Well played Teal'c, as long as this doesn't result in an attack on earth.

"As evidenced by our friends here," I say pointing to SG-3.

"It is our wish that your lack of return will convince them that we are Goa'uld and not Tok'ra," Garshaw says.

"You want them to think that we're dead," Daniel says in shock.

"Well that kinda sucks," I mutter.

"I'm sorry. We will try to make you as comfortable as possible," Garshaw offers.

Freaking Goa'ulds. I don't care what they call themselves.


	10. Tok'ra II

Sam

This is my fault. I was the one who suggested coming here. As much as I remembered from Jolinar's memories, I definitely didn't have the whole story.

"Garshaw, could you at least tell us why you've turned down our request for an alliance?" Daniel asks.

"We have decided that your limited resources do not offer us enough of a reward to risk the high security breach that your knowledge of us will cause," Garshaw says cool and professionally.

"That's it?" O'Neill says with his patented sarcasm.

"Well, at least allow us some time to try to find some technology, some skill, something that you don't have," Daniel pleads.

"I'm sorry, I don't believe it exists," Garshaw says coolly.

"So we are prisoners. You're lookin' like Goa'uld to me," O'Neill says. I can't really blame him; I'm kind of with him this time.

"We are doing this for your protection as well as ours. Knowledge of our whereabouts makes you and your world a priority target for the Goa'uld System Lords," the Tok'ra replies.

"We're already a priority target," O'Neill says, well isn't that the truth.

"They previously dispatched two mother ships to destroy us," Teal'c proclaims rather proudly.

"There's another reason, isn't there? Something else bothers you about us," I say. Sometimes I can sense things, but not know them completely. Basically all Jolinar can help me do is ask the right questions.

"That is correct. None of you have volunteered to be a host to one of us who is dying! If you're so disgusted with the very thought of blending, how can we be associated with one another? I mean, it is obvious that you have distaste for our very being," Garshaw sneers.

"No, it is—it is simply a lack of understanding. We have no hatred for you at all," Daniel says. Well, he can speak for himself. My body was taken over by one of those things. She knocked Jack unconscious, and she threatened Cassie. I have a little hatred for them too. Thanks to Jolinar's memories, a lot of love as well, but there is hate in there.

"Then be a host to Selmak," she demands.

"Well, I wish I could say I was okay with that, but…" Daniel says. No he can't be host. He has to get back to his son. He has to keep traveling through the galaxy trying to find a way to save his wife.

"The very thought sickens you. There is nothing more to be said. There will be no alliance. You will remain here until we say otherwise," she says spinning away. Great, my dad is dying, and I will never get to say goodbye. There are so many things I want to tell him, and a few of them, I actually could if I was there.

* * *

Jack

"Colonel Makepeace? Did anyone tell you how far along my father is?" Carter asks worriedly.

"No, I was only told to get you back as soon as possible."

"He doesn't even know why I'm not there for him. He thinks I'm off somewhere working on some damn satellite dish or something" Carter grumbles. I can't imagine how she feels. I mean I want to tell my Mom so unbelievably bad, and she doesn't think I'm a failure like Carter's dad seems to. The idiot. Even if Carter was just working on satellite dishes, I'm pretty sure they would be the most freaking awesome satellite dishes ever.

"We're going to get you back there, Carter. The good news is, there's eight of us now," I tell her. I am going to bust her ass out of here so I can get her to her father who is going to tell her what an amazing person she is.

"That's good news?" Daniel says sarcastically

"Yes," I say glaring at him, "More manpower." Carter sits down; I have failed to cheer her up that is sure,

"Is this another one of your strange jokes, O'Neill?" Teal'c says.

"Ah, no." I say.

Teal'c uses the tone he uses when he's talking to me like a little brother. You can barely tell the difference between this and his regular tone, but I've been around this guy enough that I can tell, "It would be impossible. There is only one way out, via the rings. We would then have to elude hundreds of Tok'ra."

"I, for one, don't want to hurt any of them." Sam says. Helpful, she still likes the Goa'uld.

"Look, I'm not too thrilled about hurting anyone either. But keep in mind these people want to make you a host, and as I recall you said that whole 'Jolinar Goa'uld in the head' deal was one of the worst things that ever happened to you!" I remind her. Jeez she was practically catatonic after that. The only time I've seen anyone crushed like that was me after Charlie died.

"That's before I understood it better. I-If I wasn't fighting her and I knew what it meant for Jolinar to be a Tok'ra, it might have been…I don't know, enlightening," I can't believe this. Carter may be a genius at everything else, but she goes on a desert-side walk with some alien guy for five minutes, and she's completely taken in by them. She stands up, "I need to see Garshaw!"

"What?" Daniel asks concerned.

"What is the one thing that they need the most?" Carter asks.

"Well, hosts, which we can't give them," Daniel said obviously frustrated with his first diplomatic failure.

"What is it?" Garshaw says as she comes into the room with Martouf.

"You said that the symbiote can cure most problems in a human," Sam says. Oh God, no Sam. I understand how desperate someone can get when they are grieving. People are willing to make all kinds of crazy deals to save the one that they love. The only difference is that most of the time people can't actually make these deals. Sam can.

"Yes," Garshaw says evenly with the patience, or rather, lack thereof of someone who has been over this discussion more times than they cared to count.

"Does that include cancer?" she asks.

Martouf doesn't look like he understands, "What is cancer?"

Daniel pipes up to explain, "It's a disease in humans where the cells grow out of control, you get tumors…"

"Oh yes, it's a common ailment amongst your species. We cure it all the time, it's no problem," Garshaw offers.

"Colonel, I think we should at least try to offer it to my Dad?" Sam asks looking at me desperately. I look back at her, and I can't tell her no.

"We might have a host for you," I say, but it feels like I'm pulling out my own teeth to say it.

"You have a host for Selmak?" Garshaw asks.

"Yes. My father. He's got cancer and if Selmak can save his life, I think he'd be willing to try it," Sam says. I wonder if she's right. I mean, I don't know Jacob very well. But from his daughter's file, I know the man is a fighter, he wouldn't give up easy.

"But you have to let us go back," I insist.

"I will let two of you go. But the rest will remain to ensure that you will return." Well, I guess I get some more quality time with Dad.

* * *

Hammond

This is an awful day. We just about lost Jacob. He was in cardiac arrest. And then I send a team to get his daughter, and they are kidnapped. And then Sam comes through wanting me to authorize putting a Goa'uld in Jacob's head.

He saved my life, and I always promised myself that one day I would return the favor. This is not how I imagined doing it.

I look at Sammy, because she is definitely, wholly and completely Sammy right now, "Captain Carter, I am truly sorry about your father, but I have to question the wisdom of what you're suggesting here. From what I've seen, this won't exactly be saving his life. It'll be more like giving his body to a Goa'uld."

"No, sir. More like letting one share it." Sammy says pacing over to the window to look out.

"Jacob knows a lot about Earth, about the US Military. This would be like handing that information over to the Goa'uld," I remind her.

"To the Tok'ra," she points out.

"You sure there's a difference?" I ask.

"Oh, yes, sir, there's a difference, believe me. I won't even pretend to understand what the difference is, but there is one. One minute you're talking to a Goa'uld, the next minute you're talking to a regular guy…person," Jack says. If Jack says it there actually might be some truth to it. He hates the Goa'uld more fiercely than anyone else on the planet with the possible exception of Daniel Jackson.

"Host," Sammy offers.

"A host," Jack accepts.

"How do you know it isn't just a trick? We've seen the Goa'uld speak as humans before," I remind them. Although, I'm sure Jack doesn't actually need a reminder. He was pretty shaken up when Jolinar did that while in Sam's body.

"Well, General, if these were your everyday run of the mill, greasy-assed Goa'uld, they would have made us their hosts already," Jack says.

"They were holding you prisoner, Colonel. Still are holding SG-3 and the rest of your team!"I practically yell at him.

"Only temporarily, sir. And they thought it was to protect us as much as them," Sammy insists.

"Yeah, I didn't buy that one myself, sir," Jack says, and I'm relieved that one of my officers is thinking clearly.

"General Hammond, please, I know my father would want to do this. He would have the opportunity to serve as the liaison between ourselves and possibly the most important allies we will ever have," Sammy pleads, and suddenly I know that none of the rest of the discussion matters, because I can't deny Sammy a chance to save her father.

* * *

Sam

"Mom!" Cassie says from the hallway extending her arms to me. She looks really terrified. "Is Grandpa dying?" she asks.

"I don't know sweetheart," I say holding her tight, "I'm going to go see him, and try to save him, stay with Mrs. Sanders." I say pushing past her into the room.

"Clear the room, people," Hammond says.

Dad turns to look at us. He lets out a loud sigh, "I told you not to recall her."

"Happy to see you too, Dad," I say trying not to be offended. I know this is more about him trying to be a tough guy than about our relationship.

"You wanted me to tell you what Captain Carter does, so I thought maybe she could tell you herself," Hammond says with a wide grin. I think he wanted to tell Dad just about as badly as I did myself.

"Yeah? What happened to the classification?" Dad asks, but I see the excitement in his eyes.

"It's still classified. But you just got clearance," Hammond says.

Dad lets out a sigh, like he is reluctantly playing along, "Why?"

"Well, believe it or not, we need your help, Dad," I say.

He laughs, and the laughter causes him to cough painfully, "What? The Pentagon wants me to deliver a message to God when I get up there?"

"Not exactly," Hammond says

"Well, I don't plan to see the other guy," Dad says.

I smile at his joke. Lord, how I would miss that sense of humor which is so uniquely Dad, "Dad, have you ever heard of the Stargate program?"

"No, is that one of your satellites?" Dad asks.

"I don't work with satellites, Dad, that was just a cover," I say.

He rolls his eyes, he almost told me that himself, "No kidding. I never would have guessed. So tell me, what do you do that's so great you don't want me to get you into the astronaut program?"

"Well, this is going to be a lot for you to take in at once," I say. God, I'm not kidding.

"Stop beating around the bush. What do you do?" Dad asks. Oh, this is going to be fun.

"I travel to other planets. Much farther away than any astronaut goes," I say.

Dad rolls his eyes, "So you're not going to tell me the truth."

"She is telling you the truth, Jacob," Hammond says.

Dad looks from one of us to the other as if he's trying to understand why we are lying to him, "She goes to other planets."

"What, like in simulations?"

"No. In reality," Hammond repeats.

"We discovered a piece of alien technology. It can send us to thousands of planets all over the galaxy."

"You're not kidding, are you," Dad says in shock.

"No."

"Holy Hannah!" I grin at Hammond.

"So what do you want me to do?" Dad asks.

"Well, we'd like you to travel to one of these planets with us," I tell him.

"Why? So I can die there?" Dad says bitterly. Dad is definitely not one of those people who goes gently into that good night.

"No. Actually, I'm hoping what we want you to do will cure your cancer," I say.

"They have a cure there? What's the catch?" Dad is a wise man; it's pretty hard to get something past him.

"It's a doozy, Jacob, I won't lie to you on that," the General says.

* * *

Jacob

I keep expecting one of them to say, "Just kidding." When I was laying in that hospital room waiting for my daughter, who may or may not be able to make it. I was thinking of what she might say to me. 'I go to alien planets and if you're willing to share your body for the next hundred years I can save you' was not one of them.

The room is something I'm used to. It's like any number of military warehouses. What I'm not used to is the huge ring that is spinning around lighting up and spitting out fog. Suddenly the thing explodes outward, and then glimmers back into a flat, shimmering pool.

"Incredible!" I murmur.

"Let's go, Dad," Sam says cheerfully as she leads me down the ramp. I'm thinking traveling across the galaxy probably won't be fun or easy.

"Does it— what does it feel like?" I ask nervously.

"You've handled worse, Dad," she says encouragingly.

Jack smirks at me, "It's a piece of cake, sir."

It is not a piece of cake. It's more like tornado crossed with a blizzard crossed with a free fall without a parachute.

"You do that a lot?" I ask

"Yeah, once or twice a week," Sammy says grinning at me.

"It beats the hell out of a shuttle on the back of a rocket," I tell her.

"Goes a lot further, too. You know, I was kind of expecting a little greeting party or something," Jack says.

"You sure this is another planet? It looks like Earth." I've been in quite a few deserts that looked a lot like this.

"Yeah, we figure the Stargate system was built specifically to transport humans or something close to humans in physiology. So it seems to go mostly to places where the environment supports human life." Sammy explains.

* * *

Jack

Well my men are free. Unfortunately, we're probably going to be under attack any time now. Turns out the Tok'ra are moving, because someone found out about their home. Hopefully we'll get Jacob healed before all hell breaks loose.

* * *

Jacob

"I'm not sure I can do this, Sam," I tell her. I don't fully understand what's going on, and a couple of hundred years seems like a big commitment. Also, I'm going to be signing up to fight a galactic war. Granted a six-year-old version of myself is doing a happy dance, but that also seems like a pretty big commitment.

"No one wishes to pressure you in any way, sir. The decision is yours, but before deciding, might I suggest that you— you take a moment to get to know the symbiote that wishes to blend with you," the Tok'ra who keeps making eyes at my daughter says.

I point to the old woman lying on the bed, "This is her?"

"Actually, you can only see the host. The symbiote's inside her," Sam explains.

"Inside her," I say awkwardly.

"Talk to her, Dad. Get to know her," Sammy prompts.

The old woman opens her eyes and looks at me, "If you agree to the blending, we could be together for a very long time," and then she lets out a painful sounding cough.

"You don't look so good," I tell her.

"You are no vision of beauty yourself, sir!" she says. That causes me to laugh, and I start coughing. Then she starts coughing, we are quite the pair.

"It's all right, sorry," I say. This is awkward to be getting to know a person who might share my body. Who will have the ability to take control of me at any time.

Then she starts talking in another voice, "I'm the one to whom you should be talking."

"You are the one I'm talking to. Why, why did your voice change like that?" I say. I wish we had a bit more time to talk about this. I'm thinking the briefing I got in the car on the way over here is probably not going to cut it.

"That's the host talking now," Sammy explains.

"I am Saroosh. I am in the position to help you most," the old woman says.

"How's that?"

"I will die, Selmak will live on, you will take my place as host," she explains.

"Um, I don't understand," I admit.

"Selmak is a wonderful Tok'ra. She is selfless and caring, she is good company. She has a wonderful sense of humor."

"Well that's good Dad, you can sit around for hours cracking yourself up," Sammy prompts.

I don't think that is nearly as funny as the odd situation I've found myself in, "That's funny," I say.

"She's not far wrong. I've had almost two hundred years of laughter thanks to Selmak. I'm biased, of course, but I believe that Selmak is among the best educated of the Tok'ra. You will probably be overwhelmed by the knowledge and wisdom you will gain upon blending."

"So, I get all of this thing's, uh, what did you call in their head?" I ask.

"Symbiote," Sammy supplies the vocabulary. God, Sam had one of these in her head, against her will. But if it's my only way to live, and if after that she still wants me to do it.

"Yeah. I get all its memories and stuff?" I ask.

"Yeah, Dad, something like that," Sammy says.

"Then I won't deceive you, sir. We have some pretty awful things buried in our memory."

"Such as?"

"Memories of countless Goa'uld atrocities, the loss of the host before me, and you will feel the mourning for my loss."

"Will you excuse me ma'am?" I run out of the room to throw up. Sammy follows me. Strangely this doesn't have as much to do with the strange alien I might be sharing a body with from now on as the rather intense treatments earthlings have developed for treating cancer. Basically they poison you and hope it kills the cancer before it kills you. And Jack seems to be offended by the way the Tok'ra look down on us. We are primitive.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want my future, um, I guess you could call her soul-mate, to see me like this," I tell Sammy.

"Dad, you don't have to do this," she says looking at me honestly.

"Yes I do. My only other choice is death, and that's not acceptable. Look, don't worry, it's not just hearing all that stuff that made me lose my stomach, it's the chemo. And the trip through that damn Stargate thing."

"It's okay. This is a lot of weird information for anyone to take in at once. Trust me, I know," she says.

"Okay…what do I have to do?" I ask taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

"First, Selmak would like to interview you," the other Tok'ra in the room says.

"Huh?" I ask.

"If I am to spend the next hundred or more years with you as my host, do you not think I have the right to decide if I even like you?" the old woman in the bed says.

I laugh, "What's not to like? Just ask my daughter, I'm a teddy bear." It would be pretty awkward to end up getting rejected by a desperate alien whose only other choice is death.

"Oh yeah, real…teddy bear," Sam says somewhat incredulously.

"How do you feel about the Goa'uld?" she asks.

"Well, you're the first one I've met." I say.

I see Sammy flinch as the old woman says, "I am not a Goa'uld."

"Ah, trick question?" I ask.

"Remember, Dad, I tried to explain the difference," Sammy says like I'm a naughty pupil in a second grade classroom.

"Right, right, I-I apologize. I guess I've never met a Goa'uld before. Although from what Sam and her people tell me, I don't think I like them much." I say. Selmak gives a nod which results in us being left alone.

"Tell me, sir, are you a good man?" she asks.

I laugh, "You're kidding, right?"

"No, we'll be spending the rest of our lives together." Ok enough of this, I don't think we have the time to waste on this, and we all know where it is heading anyway.

"Look, forgive me for being blunt, but you're dying, right?"

"My host is, yes."

"And you'll die with her unless you and I, uh…what did you call it? Blend, right?"

"Yes."

"And I'll die too, unless we do this. So my point is, good man, bad man, what difference does it make? We don't have a choice. And I don't mind telling you the whole idea scares the hell outta me. So can we just get it over with?"

"I have decided I like you."

"Super." A stamp of approval from a snake like alien parasite.

"But I must be sure that you understand there will be no turning back. I cannot blend with you, cure your disease, then leave. To do so, would probably kill us both."

"I understand. Let me ask you something, though. After we do this, will I still be able to talk to my daughter, and granddaughter." I've gotten pretty used to actually being there. I would hate to go back to the way things were before. The way things were for most of my life. I really only started to live in those last couple of months.

"The way Saroosh talked to you, yes. But you and your daughter must understand the blending may not work at all. I am very weak, and the damage to your body may be too extensive."

"In other words, we might die anyway."

"Yes."

"Then can you give me five with my kid?"

"Of course."

I walk into the hallway where Sammy and the alien who makes eyes at my daughter is. The alien who makes eyes at my daughter says to me, "You must hurry; we don't have a lot of time." Then he walks over to Selmak.

"Listen Sam, I was never good at this stuff." Actually, I've never really even tried to do this kind of stuff before.

"Dad, you don't have to say anything.

"You got to know one thing—how proud I am of you. I'm not good at saying these things enough."

Sam's voice is shaking with emotion, "I think you just said it pretty well."

"Even when I thought you were this whiz satellite geek, I was proud. That's all I want to say."

"Please, Dad."

I bite back my emotion, because I don't want to turn myself into a sobbing fool, "Hey, I know, I'm a pain in the ass," I laugh, "Maybe this Tok'ra lady will, uh, sand off some of the rough edges. It might be a good thing, right?"

"Could be. The longer we wait the less the chance is."

"Goodbye, kid," I say, and Sammy strokes my head.

"See you soon, Dad," she says.

I clear my throat, and walk back into the room, "Now what?"

"Kiss me," the old woman says.

Just when I thought this couldn't get any more ridiculous, "You're kidding, right?"

"No, I'm not," she says seriously. I lay down on the bed next to her. I lean toward her with my mouth open. The alien I'm going to be sharing my life with squirms out of the woman's mouth and goes into mine. It hurts for a second. As soon as I can I look over at the old woman and she dies. I feel immense sadness and it isn't mine.

"Goodbye, dear friend," Selmak says with my voice. I can't pretend not to know her name anymore; I know a hell of a lot more than just her name.

* * *

Sam

I can't believe it! My father blends with this Tok'ra. He does everything they want, and they just leave him under here, hoping he'll get better with enough time to save himself. What's worse my own team left too. Colonel 'no one gets left behind' O'Neill left two Carters behind. Damn him. You know who stays? Martouf the alien in love with a ghost inside of my head.

* * *

Jacob

Pain, sand, tunnels, crystals.

"Ah!" I complain. Pain.

"Dad?" Sammy asks.

Selmak takes over and asks for, "Martouf?"

"I am here," he assures him.

Selmak sits up, "Should we not make our escape?"

Martouf smiles, "Yes, we should."

"Uh, is my Dad in there somewhere?" Sam says nervously.

I shake my head, "I'm here, Sammy. Oh man, talk about your hangover."

"How are you Dad?" she asks worriedly.

"I'm awful. Headache the size of Kuwait. There's too much stuff in here." I say getting off the bed. My head used to contain one not so big lifetime. It now contains three lifetimes, two of which are extra large, "Whoa!"

Sam looks really worried, "What?" She says trying to hold me up as I almost fell down.

Oh my legs have not felt this good in a really, really long time. I laugh, "No more arthritis! Holy Hannah! No more arthritis!"

I hear more explosions, and Martouf (apparently he's making eyes at my daughter, because it's his dead girlfriend in my daughter's head) says, "We should make our leave as soon as possible. This way."

* * *

Hammond

Another close call, but I've come to expect that when we are dealing with SG-1 it is always going to be a close call. Here is Jacob standing in front of me looking healthy and cheerful.

"Yes. Can we talk to your host?" I ask the symbiote that is talking out of his body.

Jacob bows his head down, clears his throat, and then says, "So when the little fella inside me is talking, do I sound like she does?"

"That is correct," Teal'c says stoically.

"It's strange. I can feel myself talking, but it's not me saying the words. You know?" Jacob says trying to explain himself.

"Don't know. Take your word for it," Jack says still looking uncomfortable with the whole thing.

"How do you feel?" Daniel asks nervously.

"Well, considering I got one of those things inside me, pretty damn good!" Jacob says cheerfully, "Listen, George. Because of this blending thing, I already know everything there is to know about the Tok'ra. You made the right call."

"I hope so," I say with a smile.

"I would be proud to serve as liaison between the Earth and these people," Jacob says stoically.

"Good. Well, on that note, perhaps you can ask them to come with me to do a little debriefing," I say.

* * *

Sam

I saved my father, but everything is going to be changing. The last two months Dad had been in my house, we have been closer than we have ever been before.

Martouf looks at me, and says seriously, "I give you my word, I will watch over your father as if he were my own."

"Thank you," I say sincerely, but I really wish he could stay.

"I look forward to seeing you again," he says.

"So do I," I say even though I am still not quite sure how I feel about him.

"It's ironic, ain't it?" Dad says.

"What?" I ask.

"I was trying to find you a better assignment and you didn't need it. Now you've found me the best assignment an old soldier could dream up. Thanks, kid."

"You're welcome. Do you have to go so soon?" I say trying not to sound like I'm begging.

"Yeah. I have to go. Apparently, I'm the oldest and wisest among us."

Oh just what my father needs, another reason to think he's better than us. I laugh, "Oh jeez." I give him a big hug.

"I love you," Dad says.

"I love you too, Dad," I say; he's halfway to the gate before he turns around and adds, "Selmak says, let me see if I can translate this, don't call us, we'll call you."

* * *

Sam

"Sam, when I was looking after Cassie I noticed…she has a lot of pens," Jack says.

"Of course she does," I say, "The girl has to write doesn't she?"

"I mean a lot of pens," he repeats.

"Ah huh," I mutter.

"I thought I recognized some of them," he offers.

"Naw," I offer off hand.

"Well, Siler put up some missing posters last month, and I'm pretty sure this is the pen that was on it," he offers spinning one around.

"He put up a missing poster for a pen?"

"Yep, even offered a reward."

"Well, ah…you going to bring it back, please, Sir?"

He grins, "So you knew your daughter was stealing pens?"

"Yeah, I didn't think anyone would notice. I mean, they are pens, Sir."

"Granted, but…I don't think you should ignore theft, even petty theft," he says seriously.

"I know, Sir, but apparently hoarding useless objects helps orphans establish stability."

"Ah," he says pausing for a bit, "So you talked to Daniel about his childhood?"

I nod.

"Probably good for both of you. Let her go into my office alone, I planted some pens," he grins.

"And you'll take that one back?" I ask pointing to the pen in his hand.

"Sure, I want me that five dollar reward!"


	11. Christmas Inerlude

Sam

"Sir, I don't know what your plans are for Christmas, but Dad is coming through the Stargate. Daniel doesn't have family, and Jaffa don't celebrate Christmas so they're both coming over, I just wanted to invite you."

He doesn't quite look at me, "I won't be able to make it."

I am picturing the Colonel sitting all alone in his house, and I can't stand that image. "Sir, Cassie would really like to see you."

"I'll catch her at New Years," he mutters.

I examine his face long enough that he turns to me, "I don't want you to be all alone for Christmas, Sir," I prompt.

"I won't be all alone," he clips out quickly. Oh, awkward. He's spending the holiday with some woman, and here I am trying to get him to come over to my house. I'm sure that would go over well with her. I can just imagine him trying to explain why he wants to spend the biggest holiday with another woman and her daughter and father.

"Sorry, Sir, of course," I pause, "I'm glad, you're…I mean after Sara."

He laughs. Well, I'm so glad he finds me humiliating myself so funny.

"Sam, who exactly do you think I'm spending Christmas with?"

"A girlfriend?" I ask.

"My mother," he says. He pauses, "I told you my mom had shitty parents, right?" I nod. "Yeah, it wasn't an exaggeration. They were alcoholics. My mom hasn't had anything to do with them since she turned eighteen. She moved out with a couple of months left of high school. And when she was nineteen she married my dad. He shipped out not long after they got married. He saw me once when I was eight months old. He died in Korea."

"I'm so sorry," I say touching his arm.

"She wanted a butt load of kids. You know traditional Irish family I guess. But she just got me. To Dad's family we were a reminder he was gone. So it was always just mom and me. And then for awhile it was Sara and Charlie and mom and me. But the last couple years it was back to being just me and mom, and I'm really not about to make it just her," he says softly.

"Jack…if you wanted to bring her to Christmas at my house she would be more than welcome."

"And then you won't be able to talk about classified stuff. My mom would ruin your Christmas."

"Naw, we talk about classified stuff all the time. I was thinking of putting a moratorium on it during the holidays anyway. And we had to stop talking classified when my dad was with me before…his transformation," he still looks skeptical. "Hey, maybe we could set your mom up with my dad," I say jokingly.

He raises an eyebrow.

"A joke."

"Right, Carter," he says.

"Seriously, Jack, it sounds like your mom might enjoy having a…bigger family around this year. It might be good for you as well. You know what? I'll invite Mark and family. We'll make it a big shindig."

"Shindig?" he asks.

"Yeah, I know, party," I say.

He smiles at me, "You sure Carter?" he asks looking me in the eyes.

"Positive, Sir," I say.

"Alright, but on one condition. No titles on Christmas."

"Alright, then what is your mom's name?" I say. He raises his eyebrow, "I can't call her Mrs. O'Neill, Mrs. is a title, Jack."

"Margaret, but unless she hates you she'll ask you to call her Meg," he says, "We'll be bringing pie."

"You don't have to bring anything," I assure him.

"Sam, I advise you not to fight this. We're bringing pie. If I'm lucky it will just be pie, but don't be surprised if it is more than one pie."

I laugh.

"My mom pretty much believes any problem can be solved with food."

"My mom was one of those. I remember when Dad and Mark used to fight she would just start baking and wouldn't stop until they made up. Sometimes I think Dad apologized just so he'd have a place to put his dinner plate."

* * *

Meg

"Mom," his voice is almost back to what it was before Charlie died. It was so empty for a while it almost killed me. No one wants to see or hear their kids suffer.

"Hey, Jon when is your flight?"

"Ah…I was thinking we could do something else this holiday."

"You are not going to sit around and feel sorry for yourself, young man."

"I'm not a young man anymore, and that wasn't my plan. I wanted to invite you to the Springs for Christmas."

What? "You want me to come to your house?" I ask.

"Well, not my house exactly. Well yes, you'll stay at my house, but for Christmas we'd be going over to Sam's house?"

"Sam, he's a friend of yours."

"Ah, yeah she is. I work with her too."

Wow, twenty years with Sarah, and three years later? But I want him to be happy, and he hasn't been happy. "You want me to come to a girl's house for Christmas?"

"It's not like that Mom, she's my second in command. We're teammates. This team I'm on now, we're close. The rest of the team is going to be there too. There is Murray, Daniel, and Daniel's step son, and Sam, and then there is Sam's Dad and Sam's daughter, and Sam's brother and his family may or may not be coming, she wasn't sure."

"I don't want to intrude on their family, Jonathan."

"No, Sam wants you to come. She's actually pretty excited to meet you."

"Meeting the parents."

"Mom!" he protests like he is still a little kid.

"Ok, I guess I'm coming to you for Christmas."

"I'm getting you your tickets."

"No, you don't have to do that," I start to protest.

"Sorry, it's happening. And I already told her you'll bring pie."

"What kind of pie does she like?"

"I don't know, Mom."

"Doesn't matter, I'll just make one of each. And cake, you like cake. I'll make you some cake."

"Mom," he stops me, "One pie. One."

"Sure honey," I say, but both of us know I'm not going to stop at one.

Huh, I'm spending Christmas with my son's teammates and family.

* * *

"Can I take your coats?" a preteen girl with sandy-colored, curly hair and a pretty velvet dress asks formally, as we enter the house.

"You don't have to do that Cass," Jack says.

"This is what you do for a Christmas party," she protests, "I saw it on TV."

A tall blond, who looks a little like my daughter-in-law sticks her head out of the kitchen. She's got flour on her face, "I tried to explain to her that that's like a business party or something, not Christmas Eve with your family."

A huge black man with a strange mark on his forehead enters the living room, "I tried to inform young Cassandra Carter that television is not an accurate representation of earth culture."

"American culture, T," my son corrects.

The man raises his eyebrow and responds, "Which is fortunate because television depicts a world full of violence.

"Mom, this is Cassie, T, and Sam. Your brother make it?" he asks Sam.

"No, they are spending the holiday with Linda's parents," she explains, "But Dad made it." A bald man walks around the corner.

"Jacob Carter," he says extending his hand.

"Meg O'Neill," I say shaking it, "Now can I help you in the kitchen dear?" I ask turning to Samantha.

The doorbell rings behind us, and Cassie answers it, "May I take your coat?" she repeats politely.

"Just let me set Shifu down first," a tall man with glasses says.

Jon reaches out and takes a baby carrier from him, "Are you cold, little one?"

"I put the blanket over him like you said, Jack," the be-spectacled man said nervously.

Jon sets the carrier down, and draws a tiny baby out of it. He presses a finger to his cheek, "Nice and warm," he says, "Your Daddy takes good care of you," he says giving the man a reassuring smile.

The man breathes a sigh of relief.

"Your coat, Daniel!" Cassie demands.

"I'll take the pie for you," Sam offers to me.

"Pies," Jon corrects, "and cake."

"Good, you like cake," Sam says.

"Does he ever!" Daniel explains.

"I sense a story," Jacob says with a grin.

"A classified one," Sam says shaking her head.

"And one that is not appropriate for a twelve-year-old," Jon adds.

Said twelve-year-old pauses in the carrying of our coats out of the room. "What?" she asks looking up at Jon.

Daniel looks pretty pleased with himself until my son says, "I think we made a deal once, you mention Kynthia and I mention Hathor."

"Actually," Daniel says, "I'm pretty sure you were the one that swore Janet to secrecy on the Hathor incident."

"And Hathor isn't the material for jokes, especially from Daniel's point of view," Sam says gravely.

Daniel looks at her gratefully.

"There is less difference between what Kynthia did to me and what Hathor did to Daniel than you choose to believe," Jon grumbles.

"Sir, I saw the analysis of both chemicals…" Sam begins, and then stops. I can tell we've made our way into classified area.

"And my judgment was impaired," Jon protests.

"Yes, but impaired judgment is different than mind control," Sam says. "Look, I'd better get back to the mashed potatoes."

"You said I got to smash them up!" Cassie shouts dropping the coats on the floor as she runs into the kitchen. Jon rolls his eyes. Sam takes the sweets into the kitchen. Daniel picks up our coats off the floor and hangs them up.

The baby whimpers in Jon's arms. "Here," Daniel says extending his arms to take him.

"He's hungry, I'll hold him until you get the bottle," Jon says. Daniel nods, handing Jon a pacifier, and digging in a diaper bag for a bottle before heading to the kitchen.

"So Jacob how long are you on break for?" Jon asks.

"Well, I'll be in town for a week, but I'll have some business in there as well," Jacob replies.

Jon raises an eyebrow at him, but doesn't ask any questions. I'm guessing the answers are probably classified.

"When gift time comes about you'll know what kind of business I'll be doing," Jacob says.

"Ah, and whose gift?" Jon asks.

"Daniel's," Jacob says.

"Good," my son nods. The banter continues through dinner. And even though I don't understand much of what is said, I don't feel left out.

* * *

"Ok, well I'm going to tell you how we did gifts in our family, and then we'll decide how to do it here," Sam says. "We used to open gifts one at a time. Starting with the youngest."

"I like that plan, but I think we should start with the second youngest," Jon says.

Cassie grins. The adults nod, and she dives into her gifts. "This one is from Jack!" she proclaims ripping it open. It's a colorful girly motorcycle helmet. I give my son an odd look. I'm not sure why he'd be encouraging a twelve year old to ride a motorcycle.

"If you are going to ride a motorcycle, you'll need a helmet," Jon offers.

"Another earth rule, Jack?" Cassie asks.

The adults look horrified for a moment until Teal'c explains, "Young Cassandra O'Neill is from Canada and sometimes tries to convince her guardian that things were done differently where she was from. To this O'Neill replies that things are earth rules."

"Ah, this one is law," my son grins.

"And who said I'm going to take my daughter on my motorcycle?" Sam asks. Ah, so he wasn't expecting the kid to drive it.

"Do you realize how cool Cassie would be if you dropped her off on your motorcycle?" Jack asks, "Not that she isn't cool enough already," He says pulling her onto his lap.

"You know, Sir, sometimes I wonder who makes more decisions about Cassie's upbringing, you or me," Sam protests.

"Hey, you can't call me Sir, we said no titles!" Jon explains.

"Ah, but Sir isn't a title unless you were knighted," Sam protests.

"What is it then?" Jon accuses.

"You know, I looked it up, and I couldn't find the answer, I'm going with pronoun since it takes the place of a noun. But with us it is more like a nickname," she says. Everyone laughs.

"Well, if you insist on calling me Sir, I will call you Carter," Jon defends.

"Going to get confusing," Jacob says, "There are three of us Carters here." Sam laughs.

"I guess I'll go with Captain, you're the only Captain here," Jon says, "I certainly know better than to call you Doctor."

"And there is more than one Doctor here," Daniel says.

"Jonathan told you about his doctorate? He usually tries to keep that secret," I say. Jack looks at me in horror, and the rest of his teammates look at him in shock.

"What is his doctorate in?" Sam asks looking at me.

Jon shakes his head.

"I think I'm under a gag order on that one," I say.

"Astronomy," Sam guesses.

"English," Daniel says.

"Warfare," Murray says.

Cassie looks up at him with exaggerated cuteness, "What was your doctorate in, Jack."

"Nice try, but you've got more gifts," he says.

She leaves the interrogation and runs back to her gifts. Her mother gave her a fancy box of paints and a fancy pen holder which both my son and her mother found hilarious. From Murray she gets a CD player and some CD's. Daniel gives her a couple of anthropology books and some fancy notebooks.

"Are you trying to turn her into a geek with three doctorates like yourself?" Jon asks.

"Oh, I think we'd settle for one, like you," Sam retorts.

"Besides, she has no interest in archeology or linguistics, only anthropology," Daniel says.

"Thank you," she says crawling onto his lap.

"I got you something too," I offer the small present awkwardly; "It isn't much."

"You needn't have gotten me anything," she says, but none the less she takes the package. It's a simple toy, something they call a Jacob's Ladder. It entertained children a hundred years ago, but I don't suppose it would offer much amusement to the children of today.

As soon as she opens it she holds it up. It causes a chain reaction that makes the blocks knock together. The room is silent.

"Did I do something wrong?" I ask nervously.

"No, there were toys like this where I come from," Cassie says. She gets up and wraps her arms around me as enthusiastically as she did for all of the others.

"Nice work mom," Jack says.

"I got you a little something too," Jacob says, "But it's from the place I'm stationed so I'll have to give you later."

"She won't be able to work anything from there," Jon protests.

"Actually," Sam says.

"Ah," Jon says.

"Right," Cassie nods.

"Well, Shifu goes next," Jon proclaims.

"You can go ahead and open them," Daniel says, "Your child enough that you'll get the most fun out of it." So for the next little bit Jon opens and presents the baby with gift after gift.

"Ok, now it's Captain's turn," Jon says.

"How do you know which one of us is the youngest?" Daniel protests. I'm not sure why Jon looks like he just messed up, but he does.

"Ladies and their ages Daniel, you just assume," Sam says, and Jon looks grateful.

The gift opening continues with Sam, and then Daniel. Jacob presents him with a slip of paper with nothing but a date in it. Daniel looks at him expectantly.

"That is the date on which someone will be available to do that treatment on your wife," Jacob says.

Daniel's eyes get big, "And you're sure it will work?"

"Oh yes, she'll be cured," Jacob assures him.

"But the survival rate?" Daniel asks holding the sleeping baby closer to him.

"They've refined the procedure a little, we're up to 89% survival rate," Jacob says.

"You could keep waiting," Sam says.

"But all the while Sha're is suffering," Daniel says.

"89% is very good odds," Teal'c says.

Jonathan turns to me, "Daniel's wife is sick, and Jacob has been working on getting an experimental procedure for her. The kind of thing they don't do in America."

After Jonathan takes his turn, I say, "Murray, you are next."

"Actually, I believe that honor falls to you Margaret O'Neill," he says.

"I appreciate the flattery, but I'm quite sure you are younger than me," I say with a laugh.

"Yeah, T, it's not as if you're over a hundred or anything," Jon says, and everyone laughs.

When the gift opening is done we have a snack which nearly turns into another dinner. Then Cassie is put to bed.

"I assume Santa is going to come," Jack says to Sam, "I have something for him to bring out in the car. He disappears briefly, and when he returns he has a fishing pole.

"Sir, she's confused enough by this Santa thing. He never visited her in Toronto, and she's too old for it anyway. She's definitely going to figure out Santa's identity if he gets her a fishing pole," Sam says.

"Ah, what else is Santa getting her?" Jack asks.

"Art lessons," Sam says.

"She won't see right through that," Jack says sarcastically arranging the fishing pole by the tree.

"She hates fishing, Sir," Sam argues.

"She won't hate fishing the next time we go. The next time we'll go somewhere where there isn't a chance of her catching fish. Where we won't have to use bait which grossed her out, and can just sit next to the water, and enjoy things."

"You're taking her to the cabin?" I ask.

"Your cabin doesn't have fish?" Sam asks laughing, "I thought they grew to be," she holds out her hands, "this long."

"No fish," he says.

"We're going to call it a night, thank you for everything," Daniel says. He carefully wraps the blanket over his son's head. Murray follows him.

"T has to go along, because he hasn't learned to drive yet," my son explains.

"Jacob, you staying here or on base?" Daniel asks.

"Of course you'll stay with us Dad," Sam says, and Jacob nods his assent.

"I suppose we should get going too," Jon says.

"If you wanted to come tomorrow you'd be welcome. Of course, I don't expect that you would be able to make it early enough for Santa, but any time that you wanted to come…" Sam stammers somewhat nervously.

"We'll be sure to drop by," I say.

"If we have time," Jon amends.

* * *

Jack

I'm dreading the kinds of questions Mom is going to ask me when we get into the truck. Most of the questions are things that I could honestly answer, "It's classified," to, but I'm actually the most nervous about the ones that there wouldn't be an honest answer to.

"Sam seems like a lovely girl," she says.

"Sam isn't really the sort of person you call a 'girl'," I respond avoiding what I know perfectly well is the real question behind it.

"No she isn't, but you've never go for the kind who would be," she says with a smile.

"Mom, there is nothing between, Sam and I," I protest.

"Of course there isn't, because you are both fools. Hopefully one day you will wise up," she fixes her eye on me, "Whose Kynthia?"

"Kynthia? Classified." I'm not delusional enough to think she's going to believe that.

"And this classified girl," she says with a raised eyebrow, "How long did you date her?"

"Coupla weeks," I mutter.

"Mmm, well, did she feed you cake?" she asks.

I nod my head, it's not like she is actually going to understand what the cake represents.

"I see, and why did it end so quickly?" she asks.

"A couple of weeks is a long time for someone like Kynthia," well, that isn't exactly a lie, but it isn't exactly what you'd call truthful either.

"Well dear, it's a shame you couldn't tame the wayward princess. You deserve some happiness." Not a princess, Daniel goes for the princesses.

"No mom, I don't deserve anything good," I say.

"Jonathan," she says sadly, touching my arm, "Charlie wasn't your fault. After your father…I almost stopped living, but you were worth living for. And one day I came to want happiness again, to believe that I deserved it. I can't imagine the death of a child, but it wasn't your fault, and don't throw away happiness when it comes to knock on your door. You deserve someone to live for too."

I nod my head, mostly because I want the conversation to end.

She looks at me, "You don't believe it yet, but maybe Cassie will convince you." She pauses, "So how is it that Daniel's stepson is so young?"

I take a deep breath, "Well, Sha're was…kidnapped. She didn't really have a choice about it." True, and it doesn't even begin to touch on the horrors Sha're endured.

"That's awful," Mom says, "and then she's too sick to take care of the baby. Daniel's a saint."

I nod, "Yeah, it hasn't been easy for him. But he's trying not to think about the kid's father when he sees the kid. Sam's been helping him a lot."

"Looked like you were helping him," she says smiling at me.

"Yeah, well, Daniel's parents died when he was young. He doesn't have someone to call up when the kid won't stop crying or has a nasty diaper rash or whatever. So…"

"You're a saint too," she says.

I roll my eyes.

"Jonathan, seriously, I'm proud of you." But she wouldn't be. Not if she knew what I'd spent most of my career doing. Not if she knew how many people I'd killed. Not if she really understood that I'd killed my son.

Sometimes I wish someone would see me, the whole me, and take me as I am.

* * *

Sha're

My husband is before my eyes, talking. I am tired of the distance between us.

"I wish I could say something back to you, just the once!" I exclaim knowing full well that it isn't going to come out.

He grins, and pulls me into a hug, "Sha're! You can! It worked," he says over his shoulder.

Impossible that my body, that my voice would belong to me again. I move my arm, my fingers, onto my husband's back. They obey me.

"Is it true?" I ask. "Am I really free?"

"Yes, I saw the MRI myself, and you've passed the Cassie hug stamp of approval. We've just been waiting for you to wake up," he says.

"Dan'yel? I'm so sorry," I mutter.

"I told you, nothing that happened to you was your fault," he says.

"Where is the baby?" I ask franticly.

He smiles at me, "I thought you'd want to see him right away." He moves across the room and retrieves a baby from the basket. "I named him Shifu. It came to me in a dream, but we can change the name if you want."

"What does it mean?" I know that Daniel's culture is not as concerned about the meaning of names as mine, but I also know that my Daniel, is a word lover , he will pick a good name.

"Teacher," he whispers, "He's been teaching me how to be a Dad."

"I'm sorry you've been taking care of him by yourself for a long time, and you didn't even want children," I say. How can he love the child of a monster? I can, but he lived inside of me for so long.

"I do want kids," he says, "I didn't then. I wasn't ready then. I wasn't when I first held this little one, but you get ready as you need to be, and if I could freeze him somewhere for years until I was ready, I wouldn't. I am ready now. In fact," he smiles, "after awhile, when you're used to earth, and he's a little older, I thought we could have some more."

I start to cry.

"Oh God, Sha're, no we don't have to. I mean, pregnancy and childbirth is probably a touchy subject with you, right now," he says going to hug me again.

"No…I was crying because…because…you accept me, even after everything," I sob.

He grabs my chin that way he has when he is about to say something terribly important, "We'll get through this Sha're, nothing he did to you could ever make you less than perfect in my eyes."

The doctor walks into the room, "How are you feeling Mrs. Jackson?" she asks with a smile.

"Fine," I say.

"I'm just going to run a couple of tests, and then I think you are going to be able to go home," she says.

"Home?" I ask.

"Ah, to my house on earth, Sha're, I want to stay here for a little bit. Then we can talk about where we are going to live."

"Dan'yel, we're going to have to live on earth."

"Why?" he asks.

"You have to keep fighting the Goa'uld."

"No, Sha're, I did that to get you back. You are back now, and you are safe, I'm not going to keep going through the gate," he insists.

"There are more people that need saving," I tell him.

"They are not my reasonability," he says.

"What about him?" I ask placing the baby in his arms.

"Well, of course I would do anything to protect Shifu," he says firmly. It does my heart good to hear the resolve in his voice.

"And how many times has earth been threatened? Can you know he is safe? You can keep him safe by going through the Stargate." And I know. I've just guaranteed that I am never going home.


	12. Show and Tell

Son

"It's ok," she whispers to me. One of her long jointed hands touches my face. I look around. I am different from her.

"Who are you?" I ask.

"You can call me mother."

"Who am I?"

"I will call you son."

"Why do I not look like you?"

"I made you like humans, because I have a very important message you have to give to the humans. I meant to make you older, but…I can't make you older," she says and there is sadness in her voice.

"What am I to tell the humans?"

"That they are in danger. I have some things to tell you, and then we must go. There is no time to waste."

* * *

Jack

Of all the reasons that I expected the iris to open by itself, a little kid was the one I expected the least. The little kid looks like he is about ten years old. He's got weird fur covering his feet, and was wearing a hood before he took it off. He gives us a big smile.

"Search him," the General says in a gruff voice.

I know it is necessary, but I hate the fact that this is the first thing the kid hears as he enters out world.

"General? If I…may suggest…allowing Carter to do it. She can detect other stuff." Goa'uld check is only part of my reason for wanting Carter to be the one to do the search, I also know she's going to be a lot nicer about it than an anonymous SF. Hammond gives a nod, and Carter steps forward.

"Hello. What's your name?" The kid doesn't say anything, just like Cassie didn't when she first came here. "Okay. My name is Sam. I have to check you for…for things you probably know nothing about. But just in case…" Carter touches his head, and looks behind his ears. I know she's just sort of stalling, I mean what is she going to find behind the ears? A little dirt maybe.

"Well, he's not Goa'uld or Jaffa. I can't sense any naquadah. As far as I can tell he's clean," Carter says, and she looks about as relieved as I feel.

"What's he doing here?" I ask.

"I am here to warn you," the little kid says.

* * *

Janet

I'm reluctant about having another kid in my infirmary. I haven't done so well with them in the past. There is Cassie, who we almost lost more than once, and who only survived because our way of giving up on her happened to be a way that she got to live. Then there was Teal'c's son who had a chemical weapon in his tooth. And then he had some brain washing, and the only way we got rid of that was by his dad shocking him with electricity. That wasn't a recommended procedure in any medical book I ever read. Even with the relatively safe "zat" which from all accounts hurts like hell. So, now that there is another kid in my infirmary I feel like I should protect him by taking him somewhere else.

"Well, as far as I can tell, he's human," I say. Actually, I'm not even terribly sure about the truth of that statement.

"No bomb in the chest? Little biohazard in the tooth, maybe?" the Colonel says. Like I would make the same mistake again? But the Goa'uld don't seem to set the same trap twice.

"Checked for both. He's no threat to us, as far as I'm able to tell, but he's pretty weak. I'm guessing he's malnourished," I say. Very malnourished. Only time I saw anything like this was my brief time in a refugee camp. Not enough nutrients to develop their organs. Probably limited brain development as well, poor little boy.

"What's your name?" Sam asks.

The kid just looks right at the Colonel and says, "Your name is Colonel O'Neill."

"How'd you know that?"

"My mother told me," he points behind me, and we all turn to look. There is nothing there. God, this kid not only didn't get enough food, but was obviously emotionally neglected as well. An imaginary mother.

"Your mother?" The Colonel asks.

The boy tilts his head like he is listening to something, "Yes. She says I am to speak only with you."

"Well, these people are my friends. You can trust them," the Colonel assures the boy.

The boy consorts with his imaginary mother again, and then says to the Colonel, "Mother says to speak only to you."

"Okay. Why me?" the Colonel says truly confused. Aliens may be able to see how brilliant he is, even if he fools some earthlings.

"Because mother has observed you and determined she likes you. You are one who can be trusted," the boy says with the look of absolute trust that only a child can manage.

Jack talks to the imaginary creature, "Well thank you, ma'am. How long have you been watching me?"

"For many weeks."

"Weeks?" the Colonel says sounding alarmed.

"Yes. She first saw you on another planet, and she followed your team through the Stargate at that time. She observed you all until your team returned with the one called…" he looks like he wants to get the name from his mother, "…Tonane. Based on your actions at that time, Mother believes you are the only honorable leader among your people. It was only your team who did not want to steal Tonane's mineral."

I remember that incident. More or less the government was going to lie to a people descended from the Native Americans. Jack and his team did show great integrity when there was precious little of it to go around. I'm not sure how this little kid knew about that.

"Then why not trust the rest of my team?" the Colonel says. I'm pretty sure he would defend anyone who would say a bad word about anyone in his team.

"Because you are the leader. Mother insists I speak no further unless it is with you…alone," the little kid says.

"Let's step into the corridor for a few moments, folks," the general orders.

* * *

Son

"So what do I call you?" O'Neill asks me. I trust him like my mother does. More, I like the way he talks to me.

"I do not have a name," I tell him.

He seems really bothered by this idea, "What's your mom call you?"

"Son."

"It's not much of a name."

"No. it's more of a description."

He smiles broadly, "Yes, it is."

"Mother says you too have a son."

His face gets really sad, "I had one. He's gone now."

Gone? People leave? What if mom leaves? What if this man leaves? "What was his name?"

"Charlie."

"Charlie. I like Charlie. It's a good name. Can I be called Charlie?"

He looks startled by the idea, "Yeah. Sure. If that's what you want."

"Okay, Colonel O'Neill, I'm Charlie," I said proudly.

The man reaches out his hand, "Hi, Charlie," he shakes my hand, "Call me Jack."

"Jack," I say. I like that better that Colonel O'Neill.

Jack sits down next to me on the bed. "So where are you from?"

"A planet called Reetalia."

"Nice place?"

"Used to be, until most of the Reetou were destroyed by mean creatures with glowing eyes." This is no more than a history lesson to me. I didn't see any more of Reetalia than Mom's lab.

"Well that's the Goa'uld. I'm sorry to hear that," he says, and he looks sad again. I wonder how much sadness he's had to go through.

"That's why I'm here…to warn you." I say with strength in my voice.

"Well, thank you, Charlie, but we already knew about the Goa'uld," he says somewhat dismissively.

"Not the Goa'uld. It's the Reetou rebels who intend to eliminate you," I tell him.

* * *

They leave me alone for a bit, or at least they think they have left me alone for a bit. Mom is still here.

"You're doing well, Charlie," she says.

"They don't believe me," I whisper.

"They will. You don't understand about sadness," she says slowly, "But they think you do. They think you have seen awful things."

"Will you leave me?"

"Someday, but not yet."

"Who will care for me when you are gone?"

"I don't know Charlie."

"Maybe no one will."

"No Charlie, someone besides me will call you son one day."

* * *

Jack

The child might have seen his whole society killed. Just like Cassie. He's going to need someone. I…no…I can't be that person. There are a million qualified parents in the world, and one of them is going to be thrilled to get this little boy. But there is definitely something unique about this kid. It makes Teal'c's Junior sick just to be in the same room as him.

"I didn't find any apparent threat to us, but he's in worse shape than I thought, the poor kid. Several of his major organs have congenital defects," Doc tells me.

"Oh, God." Well, there is another reason not to consider taking him. I really can't deal with another child's death.

"It's like mother nature put him together in a hurry and got everything just a little wrong. His heart valves are defective, his renal function is a mess, and I have serious questions about his lungs. I'm afraid without some very aggressive medical intervention, he won't live to be much older than he is," she continues.

"Can you help him?" I plead.

"Maybe. But he may be beyond anything our medicine can do. There's something else she says displaying a brain scan, "Charlie's CAT scan. Now, if you look along the lower part of the brain stem, this is the part where normal humans have what is called the reticular formation. It's the part of the brain that determines alertness, our perception of things. Charlie's is twice the size of ours. And that could explain why he knew you had a son. It may also explain why he had such an effect on Teal'c's symbiote."

"So, what? He's got ESP? Something telekinetic thing going on?" I ask

"I don't know. I'm a skeptic on such things, but…"

"It would explain a lot," I offer.

"So, Charlie, tell us why the Reetou want to attack us."

* * *

"It's not the central authority of the Reetou. It's only the Reetou rebel faction," he clarifies.

"All right. Why do the rebels want to attack us?" I prompt.

"Because the glowing-eye people attacked the Reetou."

"The Goa'uld?" Daniel asks.

Charlie looks over to his imaginary mother, "The rebels believe that the glowing-eye people are too powerful to destroy directly. They believe they can only be destroyed by…attrition."

Well, this kid certainly has a very good vocabulary for his age, "Attrition? What does that mean?"

"Uh, attrition is the gradual diminution of strength or number by…" Daniel says.

Everyone else I've served with for more than a couple of weeks has figured out the dumb act is just that…an act. But Daniel hasn't managed to pick up on it, "I know what the word means. I meant in context," I say.

Carter's eyes get huge as she says, "My God. They must want to kill all possible hosts. They must think that, if the Goa'uld have no new hosts to infest, that they'll eventually die out."

"By attrition," Daniel repeats.

"Yes," Charlie says his eyes on his imaginary mother.

"Well, that's insane! There are billions of possible Goa'uld hosts, all throughout the galaxy," Carter rants.

"And they are not all human," Teal'c points out.

"Mother agrees. That is why the central authority of the Reetou sent us here," Charlie states cheerfully. He's just glad. It occurs to me that his words are well developed, but that his emotions are that of a much younger child.

Daniel walks toward the bed, "Charlie, I'm curious. Are you a Reetou?"

Charlie sits up, "No. I am of your species."

"Is your mother a Reetou?" Daniel prompts.

"Of course."

"And is that why we can't see her?" Daniel asks. Wow, so maybe his imaginary mother isn't so terribly imaginary.

"Yes."

"Well, if you're one of us, why can you see her?" Daniel continues questioning.

Charlie looks at his mother for a second before he looks back at us, "'Cause I'm special."

"You're special. How?" Daniel asks.

"Mother created me to serve as an intermediary," Charlie proclaims.

"She created you." Created? This kid was created? Is that even possible? I mean we've heard about all kinds of advanced technology, but we've never actually heard about a person actually being created.

"Yes. She hoped I would be older before we came, but my accelerated growth caused my body to begin failing, so we had to come sooner," Charlie continues. Oh, this kid is some sort of a failed science experiment? It's so far beyond awful.

"Captain, you're our physics expert here. Is it possible there's a creature standing here that we can't perceive?" the General asks Carter.

"Theoretically it is possible, sir, yes. I mean, according to quantum physics, matter exists both in particles and waves. lf the Reetou waves are exactly 180 degrees out of phase with ours right down to the sub-atomic level, then their light and sound waves would be undetectable by us," Carter says. She says it with a little trepidation though. I know Sam hasn't believed in quantum physics since Narim sneered at it. I wonder what the other theory-string theory-would say about mother being real, because apparently that is the theory that is true.

"So, what? Prepare for an attack by an invisible army?" I ask.

"If there is a Reetou in this room, it came through the Stargate. And it is capable of controlling the iris," Teal'c says. Oh, great so not only are they invisible, but capable of sneaking past our only line of defense.

"Son, how did your mother do that?" the General asks.

"I am no longer called Son. Call me Charlie," Charlie tells them.

The General gives me a look which says a lot in a tiny flash of a second, "Charlie, how did your mother control the iris?"

"Mother came ahead of me weeks ago. She observed you and how you operate the iris. Then, when the time came, she opened it for me just as you do," Charlie explains.

"She just typed it into the computer?" the General asks.

"That is how the computer behaved, sir. As if it was being overridden by another console," Carter asks.

"So the Reetou can operate things in our phase?" Daniel says looking alarmed.

Charlie references his mother that is in fact probably real, "Yes," he says.

"Carter?"I ask.

"It is possible, sir, but it doesn't seem very likely." I wonder about what she is thinking. Whether there is a physics debate between two theories going on in her head right now.

"Mother is growing impatient with your narrow-mindedness," Charlie says. A blue bolt shoots out of the empty space.

"Stand down!" the General shouts.

"I assume that came from…" I prompt.

"Mother." Charlie confirms.

* * *

Jack

Sam called her father in. It turns out the Tok'ra have heard of the Reetou before. He has even more of a reaction to the presence of 'mother' than Teal'c had. Mother by the way is a spiderlike creature with thin limbs.

"I owe you an apology," I say to Charlie.

"I wouldn't lie to you, Jack." It wasn't so much that I thought he was lying, as deeply traumatized, but that would be a little hard to explain.

"I know that. I'm sorry. Charlie, I want you to do me a favor."

"What?"

"You and your mom stay in this room until I get back. Nobody's going to hurt you. I promise. Neither one of you. Okay?" I really hope that is a promise I can keep.

"Okay."

* * *

Janet

I sit in my office with two files before me. One of them contains Jack's history. A history which I knew of course, but which I felt the need to review before I made my final decision. The second contains the test results.

He calls himself Charlie. The name of Jack's dead son. And this child is far more closely related to Jack that a child born the normal way would ever be. He's like a botched clone.

Now it is time to go to a meeting where we will talk about this child. I ought to reveal this, but…but I know Jack. If I tell him he will feel obligated to take this kid. And if this kid then dies. I won't be responsible for that. I'll tell him, when the time is right, if the time is ever right.

"Will somebody please explain to me how that…thing could be the kid's mother?" the Colonel demands.

"He said their leaders created him to communicate with us. They must have cloned him or engineered him somehow," Daniel offers.

"Well, all they'd need is some human DNA and it would be possible to construct him in a lab," I look around the table, but no one has guessed from that slight clue. It was a risk, because everyone knows that she's fascinated with the Colonel, "It would also explain the extra reticular formation in his brain. He could have been genetically engineered to allow him to perceive this Reetou 'mother'."

"But how do they do something that advanced, and leave the kid so screwed up?" The Colonel says.

"Genetically engineering a human child would be a very precise exercise, Colonel. Changing one set of genes to alter the reticular formation could have numerous additional ramifications," I say sadly.

* * *

Jack

Charlie is crying on a bed. He wipes the tears away from his eyes. I remember when another Charlie used to do that.

"Mother says not to cry," the kid says softly.

"Crying's okay." I learned that the hard way. Crying is a hell of a lot better than the cold, endless depression I had back when I was refusing to cry.

Charlie looks over to his invisible mother, "She says the boys of your culture do not cry."

"Not true," I tell him sitting down on the edge of the bed. "In fact, there's an official list of reasons for which crying is…a good thing."

"Mother is leaving," great, on top of dying this kid is going to be abandoned. You think she could stick around at least until the kid dies, particularly since it probably isn't that far off.

"Now see, that's a good reason. 'Mom leaving', I believe, is number six on the list of good reasons. Actually six is 'Mom says she's leaving in a couple of days'. Five is 'Mom leaving immediately'. Four, of course, is 'Mom already left'. Now, three…three is huge. One of the bigger ones on the list."

"She's still here. She's leaving as soon as she has told you everything that can help," he says. He cut right through my nonsense, and knew what information I was trying to get.

"She's not taking you with her?"

"She wants to leave me here with my own kind."

"Well, for what it's worth, I think she's right. I think you should stay here. You'd be better off." I think it would be better if she stayed with him. But he does belong with people, with humans. I just wish he could stay alive.

"I think I belong with you, Jack," he says.

God, he deserves to have me say yes. But he is going to die, and I can't take him, "Look, Charlie, um…Before she leaves, do you think she could she tell us where we can find these rebel Reetous?"

He looks at his mother, "She says she'll show me the address."

"That'd be great," I say. It looks like I managed to distract her.

"Jack? Could I be your son for a while?" he asks.

God, this is killing me, but I can't let him see that I am in pain, "I don't know, Charlie. I don't think you'd want that."

"Yes, I do. You'd be great. I can tell." I like that I have his vote of confidence. But he doesn't know everything. He doesn't even know my son died, and why I would not be a good father.

"I'll tell you what. Let's deal with these Reetou, then we'll talk about it, okay?"

"Okay," Charlie agrees.

My heart beat returns to normal as I repeat, "Okay."

* * *

Charlie

They shot mother. Jack promised me that they weren't going to hurt her, and then they shot mother. She came here to warn them, to try to save them. Then a whole bunch of Reetou got loose, and they got confused, and they shot her.

Jack moves toward me, and says, "OH God. I'm sorry." He pulls me into a tight hug. I'm crying, but Jack told me it is ok to cry.

* * *

Jack

They shot mother. I broke my promise to the kid. Yet, another reason why I am so far from fit to be a father. He goes limp in my arms. No, we can't lose the kid. I will not let another Charlie die in my arms.

"Doc? Doc!" I scream.

"Give me a hand over here. Let's go! Get him up on the bed," the Doc demands. A couple of SF's come and lift Charlie onto a bed.

"Easy," I tell them. I move on one side of the bed. Doc opens up Charlie's eyes and shines the light in. "What?" I ask her.

"I don't know," she says listening through a stethoscope. I know she is hiding something from us, but I also know her well enough to know she wouldn't hide something unless it was necessary. She'll tell me if I need to know, "His pulse is very weak. I may be able to stabilize him for now, but, you have to remember, sir, he has two major organs about to fail."

No, I refuse to lose another Charlie, "Oh, come on. He's just a kid. You've got all this fancy equipment around here…" I plead.

"Colonel, I'm sorry, but I don't think so," and there is a lot of pain in her eyes.

Jacob's snake says, "Let us take him. He will be in good hands."

"Can the Tok'ra help him?" I ask hopefully.

"Yes," Selmak assures me.

"Excuse me, isn't he a little young to be a host?" I said realizing that they weren't just talking about the healing device.

"He is young, but the Tok'ra symbiote that we introduce to his mind can teach him. He will grow up with the advantages that great wisdom brings," the Tok'ra proclaims.

"Two key words there…'grow up'." I say. As much as I hate the idea of them putting a snake in this little boy's neck I refuse to let him die.

"The Tok'ra are probably the only way that'll happen, sir," the Doc says with a lot of sympathy in her eyes.

"Do it," I command.

* * *

Jacob

"Jack," I say smiling at him.

"Look, Jacob, before you go," he stammers. I've never seen Jack so nervous before. "I know that the snake might be the only way to save him, but if there is another way…Or, you know what? Eight-nine percent success rate. Go ahead and put the snake in and then take it out again and bring him back to earth."

"Jack, it's an 89% success rate for the host. For the symbiote it is only about 60% survival," I tell him slowly.

"Sixty percent? I'd take those odds for him if I could," he says.

"Jack, it's not so terrible being a Tok'ra."

"I know Jacob, but you're an adult. This kid…I mean the Tok'ra aren't really warm fuzzy people right? And he's a kid. He needs…someone to love him."

Oh. "Jack? Who are you proposing loving him on earth?" He doesn't say anything. "Jack, I'm going to try to bring him back to you, and if I can't…I'll look after him. I might not be the warmest and the fuzziest, but…"

"For a Tok'ra, you're a teddy bear, Jacob," Jack says, "Thank you. And…don't tell him. I…I'm not going to break another promise to that little boy."

"Of course," I assure him.

* * *

Charlie

Mom is dead, and I have to go to a planet that is far away from Jack. Everyone I ever knew is going to be gone in a few moments.

"You know, there's another rule that says it's okay to be sad when you're saying goodbye to a new friend," he says. Does he really think that is all he is to me? A new friend? He is the closest thing I've ever had to family. But he has had family, so I am nothing to him.

"I wanna stay with you, Jack," I tell him.

I know that my words hurt him, but I don't know why. "Jacob's going to take you to a place where you can get well. I can't do that. But you know what?"

"What?"

"I'll come visit. You'll come visit. Okay?" he assures me.

"I guess," I say crying. Jack wipes the tears off my face, and then stands up.

I don't know much about Selmak and Jacob. But I do know that they are sharing a body, and that they are not a Goa'uld, even though they reacted like a Goa'uld to mother and can make their eyes glow if they want. Selmak, or maybe it was Jacob hugs Sam. He must be good, or at least not all bad. He reaches down to take my arm. Jack holds on to my shoulder. Jack nods for me to go, and I take Jacob's hand as I walk up the ramp, and through the wormhole.

* * *

Janet

My conscience is pricking me. Watching that kid walk through the gate. It isn't right. I know it was the only way that the kid got to live. But Jack didn't have all the information when he made the decision. He didn't have all the information, because I kept some of the information from him.

"Colonel," I say entering his office. Most people believe the Colonel that he doesn't know where his office is. But I caught Walter delivering things there more than once, and Walter doesn't deliver things to places where people aren't going to get them.

"I appreciate it Doc, but I'd like some time alone," God he looks awful. Like he did the first time he was recalled. Back when West was in charge, and he was willing to die.

"I left something out of my report, something you deserve to know," I say.

"If it's about how sick that kid is, I don't want to know," he says.

"No…Colonel, I said all they would need is a sample of DNA in order to make Charlie, and that they then made modifications to the DNA," he nods his head, just barely, "I just didn't tell whose DNA they used."

"So he's my clone?" Jack asks.

"Clone with modifications."

"Should have figured, I was Mom's hero," he says quietly. I don't know what I thought would happen when I told him, but I didn't expect him to just sit there.

"Sir," I prompt.

"Will you come with me to tell the General?"

"Of course, what are you planning?"

"I'm hoping the General will give me leave to visit the Tok'ra until I can bring him home." There is a bit of silence before he continues, "I lost one Charlie. I am not going to lose two."

* * *

Hammond

"General," Dr. Fraiser says as she and Jack walk into my office.

"Yes, what can I do for you?" I ask.

"I'd like to tell you, that I left something out of my report," Dr. Fraiser says hanging her head, "Sir, the DNA used to make Charlie came from the Colonel. Lots of modifications were made to the DNA, but it started out as his."

I stare at Jack. He doesn't say anything for a long moment, and I can only imagine what is going through his mind right now.

"Sir, considering this new information I thought you might allow me to pay a visit to the Tok'ra."

"To what purpose?" I ask.

"He's a kid, and he needs me. I almost asked for this anyway," Jack says.

"Jack, clone is different than son," I tell him.

"He could be my son," Jack says so soft that I can barely hear him.

"I'll give you three weeks of leave, Jack, and if you bring him home we'll do the paperwork just like we did for Cassie."

"What if I bring him home with a snake in him?" Jack asks.

"If the Tok'ra allow it, I'll allow it too."


	13. Paternity Leave

AN: I uploaded the file that WASN'T edited by my beta BruisedReed by accident. Now you know how difficult your life would be without her! This one has been checked, so it shouldn't hurt your eyes. Sorry guys!

Jacob

"Jack!" Charlie shouts. I turn. The kid is actually right, that is Jack.

"Hi buddy," he says with a wide grin, as he gets down on his knees to give the boy a hug.

"Jack, I'm surprised to see you already, we just left earth a few days ago. I know you said you'd come and visit often, but…" I say.

"Hammond was good enough to give me three weeks of Paternity leave," he says standing up and looking at me.

"But Paternity leave is for when you are someone's father, and your son died," Charlie says, and from the look on Jack's face I'm pretty sure he didn't actually intend to have the kid understand that.

"You're right," he says kneeling down to Charlie again. "Charlie, I'd like to be your father."

"You can't just become someone's father can you?" Charlie asks.

"Sure, it's called adoption. We do it on earth when someone loses their parents," Jack says.

"Does this mean I get to live with you?" Charlie asks hopefully.

"I sure hope so," Jack says, "I can only promise that I can stay here for up to three weeks. I hope I can take you home then, or before." He looks up at me, "Does he have a snake, yet?"

"No, we've been trying to avoid that, been working with the healing device and some other technology. So far we've been able to do little more than keep him alive. But today we were able to repair some of the damage. It's still possible he won't need one."

"Good, but if he does…Hammond will allow him to come back if the Tok'ra will," Jack says looking up at me hopefully.

I flinch, there is no way the Tok'ra would allow that, but I'm not going to break a couple of hearts.

"I found something else out. I'm not sure if you know. I'm not even sure if you are going to understand. You know what Mother used to make you?" Jack asks.

Holy Hannah!

Charlie shakes his head.

"Honey, there is something called DNA, it is what makes people who they are. Mother used my DNA to make you. She changed it so you could see and hear her, but otherwise."

"I'm your son for real?" Charlie asks hopefully.

"Not exactly," Jack says, "You're what is called a clone, well not exactly either. But the important thing is I want to make you my son. Would you like that?"

"Yes, and I want to go live with you now!" Charlie proclaims.

"We're going to make you better first. I'll stay with you until we make you better," Jack says.

"Charlie, can you go get Jack a glass of water?" I ask.

He smiles at me as soon as the kid is out of earshot, "The Tok'ra aren't going to let me take him if he has a snake in his head are they?"

I shake my head.

"Would the Tok'ra let me stay if my leave ran out?" he asks.

"The Air Force would call that AWOL," I warn him.

"I realize that. I wouldn't be able to go back to earth if I did that." He is silent for a bit, and then he says, "I'm not losing another son, Jacob. I'm not."

"I'll see what I can do," I say.

Jack

Three weeks is not enough time, you can be sure of that. But I am grateful for what I got, and all in all the three weeks went much better than I thought they would. Twice a day, for an hour at a time Charlie has been getting healed. Then for another five hours or so we've been holding a school. Mostly telling him stuff he needs to know about earth. But surprisingly, based on Charlie's great oral vocabulary, the kid can't read, write or do any math. It turns out mom made him in a lab and then spent a couple of months teaching him to walk, talk, and learn enough about earth to do his job. That's all the kid really has in his brain.

He's still weak, but Jacob assures me that he is as healed as he will get, without a snake. Jacob told me his organs are at about 90%. His body will still look malnourished to someone who doesn't know the back story. He hasn't had a treatment in a few days, and Jacob's scans show he's still healthy. He's even growing a little bit of hair.

"Jacob, are you sure you don't need more time to heal him? Because if you need more time, I'm sure Hammond would…" I offer.

He shakes his head slowly, "He's ready Jack. Take your son home."

"Jack!" Charlie says as I come into the room.

"Ready to go back to earth?" I ask.

Janet

I run into the gate room, the person who gave me the information couldn't possibly be right. Jack is back with Charlie? Charlie sans Tok'ra?

"Jack did they..." I ask.

"No snake," he says with a wide grin.

"Jacob made me better with the light," Charlie proclaims.

"Jacob or another Tok'ra is going to need to check in on him from time to time, but he's going to be fine," Jack says with a grin.

"I'd like to confirm that," I say.

"More tests?" Charlie complains with an eye roll. Yep, definitely the Colonel's clone.

Sam

Jack is sitting in the observation room as Charlie gets an MRI. From what I heard it was the kid who kicked him out of the room. "You are making me nervous, Jack!" he'd proclaimed.

I sit down next to him, and he gives me a glance. "I missed you, Sir."

"You too Carter, I'm glad to be back."

"So he's really cured, without a blending?"

"Yep!" he exclaims.

"Good, you know when I adopted Cassie you said you'd be there if she ever needed a father. Same goes for Charlie, if he ever needs a mother."

He looks at me, really looks at me for the first time, "Thanks Carter. So did anything exciting happen while I was gone?"

"Well we accidently time traveled back to 1969, and Teal'c learned to drive."

"I'm sorry I missed that."

"We were too; you might have actually remembered 1969."

"Way to make me feel old, Carter. How is Cassie?"

"Great, she missed you."

"Yeah, I'll have to come see her. There are a lot of things I'll have to do first though."

"I set up a room for him," I say. He looks at me in surprise. "And I don't know where he is academically."

"Oh, we're going to get creative on that one. He has a great oral vocabulary, but that is about all."

"Mrs. Sanders has gotten bored lately. Dad's with the Tok'ra. Shifu is with his mother. Cassie's getting B's in math. She could use another pupil."

He smiles, "and I suppose you've already asked her."

"Yep, and I got you another two weeks of."

"Couldn't stand me, quite yet?" he teases.

"No, but I remembered with Cassie, and I figured you could use an adjustment period. Anything else I can help you with?" I ask.

"Looks like you've got it covered."

"I try," I shrug.

Sara

Jack is actually standing on my doorstep. He hasn't been to my house since…no, that wasn't really him. He hasn't been to my house since I moved back in with Dad that time he was deployed. God, before he left. I didn't think he was coming back. I didn't want to wait for the body bag. He'd wanted to die, and I didn't want to stick around and watch him die.

But when I'd seen him after the not Jack came out of the Stargate, whatever the hell that is, he'd been different. He'd been alive, more alive he'd ever been with me. And when I saw him with that little girl. In that moment before he saw me…it was almost as if he was happy. After Charlie, I didn't think he was ever going to be happy again.

"Come in, Jack," I say.

"Thanks," he mutters. He is fidgeting a lot. "Is ah…James home?" Right, last time I saw him I told him James proposed. I didn't tell him that I didn't accept. James was…a rebound guy that turned into more than a rebound guy. But after twenty years of marriage. I wasn't ready for another husband, not yet

"No, ah…James doesn't live here."

He tilts his head, but doesn't ask questions, "Ok, ah, Sara I just wanted to tell you that I'm adopting."

"Poor thing, her mother died?"

He looks stricken for a second, "Ah no, Sam's fine. I'm not adopting Cassie. Ah…it's a little boy. His name is Charlie."

God, I feel like someone has slapped me. I can barely breathe.

"I'm sorry Sara."

"Jack do you think? I mean, do you think it's even healthy to adopt someone who has the same name as our dead son?" I stammer.

"He named himself, after Charlie," Jack says distantly. "The kid is ten. Didn't have a name. He was so sick when we found him. He kept begging me to let him be my son. Kept begging me to take him home. I wouldn't promise him anything. I couldn't…until I knew he wasn't going to die. I couldn't…I couldn't lose another son."

"God, Jack," I murmur. I can imagine a kid with that many problems, "Is he going to be alright?"

"Yeah, he has to have these experimental treatments every once in awhile, and it's not like I'm going to be signing him up for hockey, but he's going to be alright," Jack says.

I wonder if I should bring this up, I mean I know I'm not his wife anymore. But after twenty years of taking care of the man-child Jack, I can't exactly stop cold turkey. "Jack, what about psychologically?" He doesn't answer, "I know you hate psychologists after that whole POW thing, but this kid…"

"I know," he stops me. "I'll look into it. I guess I've been so focused on the physical, and the academic. The kid should be going into fifth grade in a month, and he can barely read. I haven't really thought about the psychological. I mean, he is clingy. But," Jack sighs. "I just wanted you to know," Jack says. "I'd better get back. First time I've left him with a sitter."

"Jack, if you ever need someone to watch him…" I start. It was stupid to offer, I mean that would be beyond awkward.

"Thanks," he says.

Jack has a son, again. And I thought he was the one who wasn't moving on with his life.

Meg

"Hi, Jonathan, how are you?" I ask cheerfully.

"Mom, ah, would you be able to fly down here for a trip?"

"What's wrong?" I ask worried.

"Nothing, I want you meet someone."

"Kynthia?" I ask hopefully.

"No, mom, not Kynthia," he says annoyed.

"I've already met Sam, but I'd love to see her again."

"No, mom. It's a boy."

Pause, "Ok." Did not see that one coming.

"Jeez, no mom, I mean a kid. A little kid, I'm going to adopt."

"You're adopting?" I said. I'm really surprised. I mean I know he and Sara considered it when they found out they couldn't have more children not long after Charlie was born.

"Yeah."

"And are you…I mean you and Sara."

"No, mom. It's just me. I'm adopting. I know that the kid would be better off with someone else, but he wants me. He really wants me."

"And you want him."

"I do."

"He wouldn't be better with someone else, I'd love to meet him, what's his name."

"Ah…It's Charlie."

"Charlie," I say. God. "Jack you know he isn't…"

"No, I know that mom. Apart from the name, and the approximate age. No, he's his own person."

Charlie

"Airports are awesome!" I exclaim.

Jack laughs, "Yeah, they are," he leans down, "you know I used to fly planes?"

I look back at the window as a huge plane lands, "Really?"

"Well, not ones like that. The ones I flew were smaller. I didn't do it that long, mostly I did ground ops," he says.

I nod like I understand. But I still don't get a lot of earth talk.

"Here she is," he says with a smile. "Mom," he says holding out his arms for her.

But she ignores him. No, more like she doesn't even see him. She leaves the bags she was dragging and runs over and picks me up.

"Oh for crying out loud! Mom! You can't leave your bags lying around in an airport!" Jack exclaims going to retrieve them.

"Hey, you can call me Grandma," she says.

"Jack," I say feeling a little smothered by the hug.

Grandma's face falls. Sets me down, "If you don't feel comfortable calling me Grandma, Meg would be ok. I mean…I'm not trying to replace anyone for you."

I look at her confused, "You're my first grandma."

Jack comes over and puts his arm around me.

"I'm your first Dad," he says.

"Yeah, but you told me to call you, Jack."

He smiles and kneels down, "I did buddy, but that was before we were family. If you wanted to call me Dad, I'd love it."

"So you've never had family before?" Grandma asks as we stand up and start to leave the airport.

"I had a mother," I say.

Dad snorts. I look up at him, "She wasn't much of a mother," he says pulling me into one of those side hugs he does.

Grandma looks at me sadly. I don't like being pitied. "I got you a present," she says fishing through one of the bags that Dad retrieved for her. She pulls out a book.

"Thanks," I say taking it.

Dad looks discreetly at the title, "It's about Chicago. That's where Mom is from, that's where I grew up."

I nod my head, grateful. I've discovered that kids my age from earth can read, and that it's kind of a huge deal that I can't.

"Right," she says opening up to a page that displays a pond, "Read this," she says pointing to the words.

"Mom, he…can't read," Jack whispers.

Her eyes go wide, "It is talking about the fishing," she says, "I'll read it to you later."

"I'm sorry," I mutter.

"Honey, it's not your fault. Everything is going to be all right," she says. She lifts up her hand like she is going to ruffle my hair, but then she remembers I don't have hair, and she lets it fall awkwardly down.

Grandma turns back so she can look at me as we drive back to Dad's house. "So, Charlie, do you like to fish?"

"Ah…" I say.

"Mom he hasn't been fishing," Dad supplies. She looks at him in surprise.

"They didn't have fishing where I'm from, and since I met Jack…he had to go with me somewhere to get better," I offer.

"We spent three weeks getting treatments," Dad offers with a grim smile.

"But they worked, he's ok?" Grandma says glancing back at me.

"Yeah, he is going to have some follow up treatments, but he's going to be fine," Dad says giving me a grin in the rear-view mirror.

"I'm glad," Grandma says, twisting to give me a big smile, "You want to play I Spy?"

Good, something I actually know how to do. "Yes!" I exclaim.

Grandma finishes reading the new book. She puts it down, and kisses my forehead. Dad comes in. "Want me to tuck you in too?" he asks. I nod my head. Grandma walks out of the room.

"I'm sorry Dad," I mutter.

"What for?" he asks.

"I'm…not what she was expecting."

"Oh God kid, you have to understand this…you will never be a disappointment to me, or to your Grandmother. Nothing you could ever do would make me stop loving you, or wishing you were something other than you are. Got it?" he asks. He waits until I nod, and then he pulls me into a tight hug. "And it's not like the fact that you can't read or were sick was your fault. You are an amazing kid. I'm proud of you, got it?" he says kissing my head.

Jack

The smell of tea draws me to the kitchen. Mom hands me a cup. I shake my head, "My opinion of chamomile tea is still the same as Peter Rabbit."

"What does he have Jack?" she asks nervously.

"Some unpronounceable…" I begin.

She cuts me off, "Cancer right? What kind of cancer?"

"The lack of hair? Ah…no, it's not cancer." I might as well tell the truth as best I can, "He had multiple organ failure as a result of a genetic abnormality. The damage is 90% repaired, and now he has similar symptoms to someone who was malnourished."

She starts gathering up ingredients. I sigh. "The symptoms of malnutrition, not actual malnutrition. I do know enough to feed the kid, Mom."

"A batch of cookies couldn't hurt," she says looking at me.

"I know how you feel. Ever since I met this kid I wish there was something I could do that would make it better. But I have something you could do to help him."

She puts down the mixing bowl, and nods.

"That kid has got the impression that his sickness and lack of education is a disappointment to you," she tries to interrupt, but I put up my hand, "I know he's wrong. I told him he's wrong. But it would help coming from you." She starts to head to his room, "Tomorrow."

She comes back. "What happened to him?" she asks softly.

I don't know how to answer this. This is complicated. I mean, I don't want to lie, and say he suffered more than he did. But I don't know how to explain him. "His mom did try to take care of him. She didn't have access to medical care or education. We were on a mission, and…we accidently shot his mother as a hostile. She asked her son to warn us about the bad guys. She was trying to help us."

"His dad?" Mom asks.

"I'm his dad," I say knowing that she'll take it to mean I'm his dad now. But I am the only person in the galaxy he is genetically related to.

"I know, but no one is going to try to take him back?" she asks.

"No, he's mine," I say. She flashes me a smile, and gives me a big hug. "Jonathan Jordan O'Neill," she says pulling back, "What you're doing here…it's a good thing. It's an amazing thing. To take in a kid with that many problems as a single dad. You know I'm proud of you, right?"

I nod. "Jon, what are you doing for school? If he can't read…"

"Private tutor. He can actually read a little bit. I started working with him right after I adopted him."

"Who is this private tutor?" she asks.

"Mrs. Sanders. Sam used her for a long time, back when her father was sick, and Cassie was behind in math. She's got a nursing degree, and an education degree. She'll watch Cassie too when Sam is on a mission, but she'll have Charlie during every school day."

"Sounds perfect," mom says looking like she's finally relaxing.

"Can I do this?" I ask nervously.

"You can," she says, "you definitely can."


	14. One Hundred Days

Sam

Laira, a local woman has promised us a viewing of the "fire rain." I'm not quite sure what that means, but I'm pretty happy right now standing outside and staring up at the twin moons of this planet. Well, you couldn't really call them twin moons. One is so much larger than the other. In fact, based on the size of this planet and the large moon it's kind of amazing it's a moon at all instead of ending up as a sister planet sharing a smaller moon. As many plants as we've seen over the years we don't often take the time to just stop and smell the roses, or as it were look at the sky.

"Laira, when's the big show start?" The Colonel asks.

"Soon. Be patient," oh, the woman, really doesn't seem to know who she is talking to.

"Oh, I'm patient. I'm nothing if not patient. When's it start?" he says.

Laira looks at us and asks, "Is he always like this?"

"Quite frequently," Teal'c says stoically.

"Thank you Teal'c," The Colonel says coolly.

"Laira, we haven't seen anything you could call fire rain these past few nights. How come you're sure it's gonna fall tonight?" Daniel asks.

"It begins this night each year," Laira says.

"Whoa. The same night every year? That doesn't make sense. I mean, unless the planet's orbit travels through a debris field like an asteroid belt, in which case…" I say.

"Please. Don't suck the fun out of this," The Colonel warns.

"Sorry, Sir," I mutter.

"When I was a child, my father told me that the fire rain was the tears of our ancestors, longing to be reunited," Laira says as a meteor shoots across the sky.

"A falling star. That's uh, that's what we call fire rain where we come from. In our culture, you're supposed to make a wish," Daniel offers.

"On Chulak, we call it tal'pak'rye," Teal'c offers.

"Which means, uh…falling star," Daniel translates.

"What do you think, Jack? Was it worth the effort?" Laira asks leaning toward him in a flirty jester which of course he fails to notice. What is with my teammates and the fact that they are all blissfully unaware of their effect on females.

"Oh yeah. I'm a huge fan of fireworks.

More meteors jut across the sky. One of them hits the atmosphere and burns up. Oh crap, that is definitely not a good sign.

"Carter? How close was that?" The Colonel asks in concern.

"Close, Sir," I say letting my concern leak into my voice.

"How big?" Daniel asks.

"Big," I respond.

"Thought so," Daniel says.

"I was…rather concerned for a minute there, Sir," I admit.

"I don't understand," Laira asks.

"Laira, that's what we call a near miss. If that meteor had struck the ground instead of bouncing off the atmosphere…" I explain.

"This…is an annual event?" The Colonel asks her.

"Yes. Though it grows more spectacular every year. By tomorrow evening, the entire sky…" she stops as she notices we are all really worried, "What's wrong?"

We're going to have to figure out exactly what the odds of everyone on this planet dying is, "I'll make some more observations tonight, Sir."

"I'm gonna check the…geological record in the morning," Daniel says. I'm glad he offered. Usually I have to do all of the hard scientists. I'm not qualified to deal with meteorology or geology, but none the less I've been doing it for the last couple years. I'm glad Daniel is going to take the geology this time, and actually allow me to focus on something I've been trained to do.

"I'll…make a wish," the Colonel says. I know he isn't a huge fan of these scientific endeavors. It makes him feel a little useless. The next time we get into a fire fight I'll just brag about how awesome he was during the debriefing and he'll be back to his normal over confidant self.

* * *

Hammond

SG-1 is always getting into trouble. I send them on a diplomatic mission to peaceful people. A local lady shows them a traditional fire show. And they come back to the base telling me that the whole world is going to have an apocalypse.

"According to the observations I made last night, the near miss we experienced was the just the first of hundreds of crash-sized asteroids directly in the path of Edora…P5C 768. The night sky is full of them," Major Carter explains.

"We can't evacuate an entire planet, Major," I tell her.

"As far as we know, these are the only descendants of a people brought to Edora by the Goa'uld thousands of years ago. There may only be a small number of strikes locally. If that's the case, we can send them home in a few days. If not, we'd be saving the last of a people, Sir," he says. How can I refuse that?

* * *

Laira

Most of the team from earth has left, but they left Jack behind. Jack is a handsome man, who is kind to my son, and more funny than anyone I have met since my husband died. It is my job to be the ambassador between his people and mine. I've never enjoyed my job quite as much as I have since Jack entered the picture.

"Many of my people are most curious to know what it is we have that you could possibly want," I ask.

"Well, you remember how excited Carter got, the day we got here?"

"Something in our soil."

"That's a mineral called naquada. We don't have it on Earth. It's very important to us."

"Why?"

"It's powerful."

"And in return for taking this naquada from our soil?"

"There are a lot of things we could help you out with. Medicine, technology, education…we'd become friends."

"We're already friends," I say leaning a little bit closer to him.

"Closer friends?"

I laugh, "My mother taught me to be wary of men wishing to be closer friends."

"Well, if you'd like, I'll negotiate this treaty with your mother. That way there'd be no conflict of interest…" he teases. Suddenly the fire rain lights up the sky.

"I've never seen the fire rain in the light of day," I tell him concerned.

* * *

Jack

"Have you seen Garren?" Laira asks filled with panic.

"Daniel? Teal'c? Garren come back with you?" I ask into the radio.

"He should be here, O'Neill," Teal'c says. Oh no, her son is missing. Oh, God I think of Charlie. Both of my Charlie's. I've got to find this kid. We're in the middle of evacuating his planet, and this kid can't be left behind to endure the fire rain all by himself. I mean he tends to think he's pretty grown-up, and in their culture he is. I mean the kid already does the work of men. But he's still way too young to be left to endure a natural disaster all by himself.

"The caves. We were talking about how previous generations survived. They must have gone back there," Daniel offers.

"All right, you three go. Get these people out of here. We'll find the kids and catch up," I say giving a head nod to my team.

"Sir?" Carter asks me.

"Go!" I command turning to Laira as we run off to find her son.

* * *

Jack

The Stargate is gone. How could the Stargate be gone? I mean, we'll find it. SG-1 will find a way to save me. They always do. Laira has invited me to stay with her, and I've been working on repairing the village, but it's only temporary. Soon I'll be home. Home with my son.

* * *

Meg

"Ma'am is this Margaret O'Neill?" a voice says over the phone.

"Yes, who is this?" I ask.

"This is General George Hammond, I am your son's commanding officer," Oh God, oh no…not Jack, "Ma'am he's missing in action. We are pretty sure he is alive and well. We're just not sure when we'll be able to get back to him."

"Where is he?" I ask.

"I'm sorry Ma'am, that is still classified. But I assure you we are doing everything in our power to get him back."

"Charlie?" I ask.

"That was the main reason for my call. His teammate Samantha Carter has been looking after him, and she is more than willing to continue."

"I'll like to fly down and take care of my grandson," I tell him.

"We thought you might feel that way. We wanted to give you the chance. But Major Carter wanted me to assure you that she would love to take care of Charlie until your son returns."

"Thank her for me. I'll be down there as soon as I can."

* * *

Jack

The Stargate is buried. I am trapped on an alien planet. My son is on earth wondering why in the hell everyone keeps leaving him. But it's just temporary. This is just for a little bit. Pretty soon we'll fine the gate. Pretty soon SG-1 will rescue me. This isn't going to be forever.

I've been sleeping on Laira's floor ever since I got trapped. She comes in, and splashes some water on his face.

"I thought you might like a clean work shirt. My husband never wore it. I made it for him just before he died," she says.

"There's a chance the Stargate is just buried…" I remind her.

"We have to rebuild before the harvest and there are very few of us now," Laira says. He holds out the shirt. I take it, but I don't take the symbolism behind it.

* * *

Sam

Jack is missing. God, we left him on that planet, and we can't get him home.

"Wormhole physics, a field, Major, that you pioneered, states that under these conditions, ordinary matter won't even reintegrate on the other side. There's no way to overcome that," General Hammond says.

We're not giving up on him. Jack never gives up on anyone, "I think there is, Sir. And I'm not the one who thought of it. Sokar did."

"Sokar?" Hammond says confused.

"Yes, Sir. When he tried to breach the iris by bombarding it with a particle beam. Sub-atomic particles barely small enough to reintegrate produced energy as they decayed."

"Which caused the iris to heat up."

"Exactly. Now, if we could do the same thing we could melt the hardened naquada barrier just above the event horizon and create a pocket of superheated gas."

"And then what?"

"Well, then all we have to do is open the Gate again, Sir. The unstable vortex it normally generates would then be allowed to expand into that pocket and create an even larger cavern. One person might be able to go through, Sir, and dig it out."

"I think we can safely assume Teal'c would volunteer, but…"

"We don't have a particle beam generator, Sir. We'd have to build one."

"Then you'd better get started."

* * *

Garren

Mom sent me into the field with food for Jack. I like Jack. The only thing I don't like about Jack is the fact that my mom really likes Jack.

"You, uh, missed evening meal. I brought you some."

"I wasn't hungry," he said grumpily.

"You gotta be. You've worked all day in the fields."

"I got a couple of hours of good light left."

"I'm sorry," I tell him.

"For what?" he says looking at me.

"You can't go home. It's my fault," I tell him.

"No it's not," he says.

"You want to go home," I say.

"I have a son at home. A son whose wondering why I'm not coming home."

"You'll get back to him," I assure him putting my hand on his shoulder.

* * *

Meg

I knock on the door to the house. Charlie opens the door.

"Grandma!" he explains flinging himself into my arms.

"Hey, buddy, how are you?" I ask.

"Dad is missing," he says seriously.

"I know honey, I'm going to take care of you until he comes back," I say.

Sam enters the room, "Meg," she says giving me a hug, "I'm so glad you've come. Would you mind watching Cassie and Charlie tonight. I have an idea on how to get your son back, but I need time to work on it."

"Of course, you really think I can bring him home?" I ask.

"I hope so," she responds.

* * *

Janet

I hand Sam a cup of coffee. "You working through the night again?"

"Yeah. Lot of work to do. Thank you," she says barely looking at me.

"Look, Sam, there's no doubt you're going to solve this, but you have to accept the fact it's going to take time," I tell her.  
"Yeah, well if I think that way, it could take months. Meg is watching the kids. I need to get Charlie his father back.

Right, and I'm supposed to believe that is what this is all about. I wonder if she even knows she's in love with him.

"Daniel says the Tollan could have a ship in the vicinity of Edora some time right next year."

"He shouldn't have to wait that long."

"You miss him."

"Yeah." Oh, she knows she's in love with him. And this is the closest she's ever come to admitting it.

"Is this a problem?" I ask her. I have been wondering for awhile if they are going to act on it.

"No. No, of course not."

"Ok," I say as I leave the room, just a little bit disapointed.

* * *

Laira

Jack sits by the pond tossing stone after stone into it.

"Many of us fear the fire rain will come again. Do you?" I ask him.

"No. If Daniel was right, and he always is, it'd be another hundred and fifty years before that happens again. It's a long time. I was kinda wondering which direction home was."

I gesture toward the village, "This way."

"No, I meant…"

"I know what you meant. Come. I like your company," I say. He's been ignoring every attempt to get his attention, so it's time for me to get a little more blunt.

"I don't even like my company right now," he mutters.

"You will again. Loss is that way. I mourned my husband for a hundred days. I never left my house, I never spoke to anyone."

"After that?"

"I left my house and I spoke to people. Walk with me."

"My son. I can't give up on seeing my son again."

I can't imagine if I could never see Garren again. I just look at him sympathetically.

"I lost one son. He died. And now I'm stranded here," he says.

* * *

Jack

It's been three months. If we were going to find the Stargate we would have found it by now. If there was going to be a rescue mission there would have been one by now. I slowly paddle down the river in my canoe.

"You left this at home," she says handing me a water bottle. I get out of the boat to retrieve it while I wonder to myself why she insists on referring to her home as our home.

"Oh. Yeah, yeah."

"Haynan has invited you to evening supper," she tells me.

"Why? He doesn't even like me," I protest.

"He is very grateful for all the help you have given him in rebuilding his home."

"I just hammered a few nails. Well, actually, I made the nails first then I hammered them, but…"

"Still, you've worked very hard. Thank you."

"Anything I can do."

"There is something."

I stop, she never asks for help with anything, and I am living at her house. I wonder what favor she wants, "Yeah? What?"

"No. It's too soon," she says reluctantly.

"No, come on, don't…do that. What?" I insist.

"You'll know when the time comes."

"I need a little help here. A hint." She leans forward and kisses me. I like Laira, but I'm not staying here, and she's not going to want to move to earth. There is no future in this, and I don't think I really want to get involved if it's not permanent. Besides, Sam. I mean it's not like Sam and I actually have a future either. After all it is against regulations, but still.

"Does that help?" she asks.

"A little." If I'm going to stay here forever, and it sure looks like I am. At least. Laira is better than nothing, and she does have a son. He isn't my son. But, if I can't have what I want, this is better than nothing. I lean forward and return the kiss.

* * *

"Well, what do you think?" Haynan asks after I take a huge drink of their moonshine."

"Absolute rot gut. More please," I say. He pours me another one. I turn to watch people dance. Garran is blindfolded and spinning around in the middle of the room. He moves over to Naitha and takes off the blindfold.

"What just happened?" I asked.

"The ancestors guided him to the one they wish him betrothed."

"He was peeking!" I protest. A villager drags me onto the floor. They blindfold me and spin him around. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I'm not sure…I mean it's almost like an engagement. Of course, if I don't I might end up in someone else's arms. I find my way to Laira. Then I pull him into a hug, and kiss her cheek.

* * *

Teal'c

Major Carter thinks she has found a way to rescue O'Neill. I hope this plan will work.

"Play back the visual," Major Carter says. The video displays a large opening on the other side of the gate, "Whoa, there. See?"

"The Gate is horizontal as you thought, Major Carter," I inform her.

"And the MALP just slipped back through the event horizon. It means the vortex would have dug partway to the surface. Teal'c, you'll need to secure yourself above the event horizon as soon as you're on the other side. And you'll have to carry everything you need." She says.

'I understand," I assure him.

"I hope you do, son. Because if you fail to dig your way to the surface, this will be a one way trip," Hammond commands me.

* * *

Jack

"Garren?" I ask as we return to the home that I still can't quite think of as mine.  
"Just us," my stomach does a little flip flop at that. I still want to go home. But I am beginning to realize that no matter how much I want to go home, I'm never going to able to do it.

"Well, apparently I should expect a massive headache tomorrow, so I should…get a head start," I say preparing to lay down on the floor that has been my bed for the last couple of months.

"Do you remember when I told you there was something you could do for me?" she asks. I nod.

"I want you to give me a child." Ok, right. Then just go ahead and ask for it. But if this is my new home. If I can't go home. I want a kid. God, I want a kid.

"A child," I repeat somewhat stunned.

"I wanted to be patient. I wanted to wait until you had let go of the life you left behind. Until you knew that you belonged with us. Tonight, there is something in your eyes."

I have to be honest with her, so I whisper, "Laira. You should know, a part of me, a big part of me, is never going to let go of what I left behind."

"It's not the part I want." She says. She is going to take me as I am. That's all I ever wanted. I kiss her. A baby.

* * *

I'm chopping the wood the next morning with Haynan. The man has finally stopped hating me. "She is a fine woman," Haynan says.

"Yes she is."

"Took you long enough to see that. I was afraid you were going blind."

"No. If I've gone blind, it's from whatever we were drinking last night," I tease. I swing the axe, but it doesn't make it through the wood. Damn hang over. Why can't other planets have beer? It is definitely the best kind of alcohol.

"Has a bite to it." He admits.

"Yeah."

I begin sharpening the axe on the grinder. Laira comes out of the house all the things I brought from earth. "Going somewhere with that stuff?"

"I just thought you might not need these things anymore."

"Oh, hang on, some of that's pretty good. The jacket…it's…"

"Does it remind you of home?" she asks injured.

"I'm sorry Laira, but I can't give up on seeing my son again."

Suddenly a voice comes out of the radio. It sounds like Teal'c. I grab it, and yell into it, "This is Colonel Jack O'Neill, come in."

"O'Neill," Teal'c says.

"Teal'c! Where the hell are you?!"

"Attempting to reach the surface. O'Neill." He says.

I start running toward the carder where the Stargate used to be. "I got your RDF signal. I'm right on top of you!" I start to frantically dig. Laira gives me this sad look, but if I don't dig him out he's going to die. It takes an hour or so of digging from both sides, but when we finally break through the cave, and there is Teal'c. A rescue. Three months later, but they sent a rescue.

"Teal'c! How is Charlie?"

"He is well, O'Neill."

* * *

Sam

"So when the third MALP sent back just a few seconds of telemetry, we knew the Gate was hori…zontal," he pushes past me. I'm not surprised I knew he wasn't listening to me. "Is he all right?" I ask Daniel

"He's fine. I just don't think he was expecting to go home again." I look over to were he is talking to a woman. I gave up sleep. I gave up time with my daughter. I gave up living for three months in order to bring him home. And he doesn't even want to come home.

* * *

Jack

"You must be very happy to be going home," she says sadly.

Of course I am. What does she think? I want to see my son. "I'm not completely happy," I say honestly.

"You don't have to. You could bring your son home to live with us."

"Come with me. You can Garran can come with me."

"I belong here," she says.

"I'll come back. Soon. We still have that treaty to talk about."

"Of course. Our two worlds are going to be friends," she says giving me a sad hug. "Closer friends. Fair day and be well. And…if there is a baby…" I say slowly, "That would change thing."

Laira puts her hands protectively over her stomach.

* * *

Sam

I stayed at Jack's house until we put Charlie to bed. That happened much later than usual, because he was so excited to have his father come home.

"He is doing great Sam, thanks for taking care of him. I mean I saw him read."

"Well, Mrs. Sanders is responsible for the reading, and your mother is responsible for the rest of it."

"Only, because Samantha spent twenty hours a day working on getting you home," Meg says.

"She's exaggerating," I protest.

"Well, I want to thank you both for giving up your whole lives for me for three whole months."

"No, problem, I liked seeing my Grandson. In fact…I'm thinking of getting an apartment in the area, if you don't mind," Meg says.

"I'd love it mom, as long as you realize you don't have to," Jack says with a big smile.

"I heard you met someone while you were gone," Meg says with a smile.

I flinch, "Ah, who exactly hold you, mom?" Jack says nervously

"Daniel," she says smirking.

"Well, neither one of us is going to relocate, so it's…not a big deal," Jack mutters not meeting my eyes.

"That's too bad," Meg says.

"Nothing ever would have happened if I thought I was getting home," Jack says, and he's looking right into my eyes. "God, I lost three months of my life. My kid is three months older than he was when he left. He's learned so much. I've missed so much."

I smile, "Three months is nothing sir, with the way you parent you'll be caught up in a week.

"I'd better get home. I have some time to make up with Cassie as well," I say.

When they think I'm out of earshot Meg says, "You know she didn't sleep, because she's in love with you, right?

"Mom," Jack protests.

"Just so long as you know," Meg says.


	15. Maternal Instint

Daniel

When I answer my phone all I hear is Sha're sobbing.

"What's wrong?" I ask her.

"He's gone."

"What?"

"He's gone Daniel. I laid him down for a nap just like I always did, and then I went to study for my GED, and I came back and checked on him, and he was gone."

"Gone as in kidnapped?" I ask panicked.

"No, ah…maybe. I think I saw a light."

"A light?"

"A light taking our son, Daniel!" she explains.

"Ok, I'll get some help. Stay there. We'll be right over."

* * *

Sha're

I'm standing on the front lawn as he pulls up. He runs out of the car, and engulfs me in a giant hug.

"Hey, it's going to be ok, Sha're, we're going to find him," I say. Inside of the car is all of SG-1

"Shifu is the Harcesis," Daniel explains as we all sit down in the living room. Daniel wraps his arms around me in a comforting gesture.

"Apophis had a child with Sha're, the host of his mate, Amaunet. He hoped to create a new host for himself," Daniel says. I hate that he says it so plainly. I mean, I know that Daniel knows what happened between Apophis and I, but we've never actually said it in words.

"It is forbidden," Teal'c says.

"Why?" Daniel asks.

"Because the child would contain all the knowledge of the Goa'uld. The boy would be hunted. He could be the undoing of all the Goa'uld," Teal'c says, I don't know why I never heard this about my son before. Maybe they were trying to protect me.

"But Apophis also doesn't know where he is," Daniel says.

"We don't either," I point out trying to keep the sob out of my voice.

"You said a glowing light carried him away?" Teal'c asks. I nod my head. "I have heard that creatures meeting this description reside in a place called Kheb. It is an ancient legend. I am not even sure I believe it really existed."

"It has to," Daniel says desperately.

"The Goa'uld fear and despise Kheb. They forbade anyone from speaking of it long ago. It is something Bra'tac once spoke of to me. An old tale about a place discovered long ago by a few Jaffa and kept secret from the Goa'uld. When they could no longer carry a primta, they would make their journey to Kheb. There their calak would learn the path through the darkness into the next life."

"Calak. That means soul, right?" Daniel asks.

"Yes. When some of the Goa'uld finally found out about Kheb, they made their way there. They did not return. It was forbidden to speak of ever again. Bra'tac enjoyed telling me this story. If the Goa'uld truly are all-powerful gods, he would say, how is it that they fear anything?"

"Well, sounds like the perfect place to hide someone you don't want the Goa'uld to find. I don't suppose you happen to know the Stargate address?" Daniel asks hopefully.

"No," Teal'c admits.

"Well all I have is some obscure Earth mythology that indicates Osiris once hid there from Seth." Daniel mutters

"That story is told among Jaffa that Osiris hid on one of the planets of the Lok'na core," Teal'c says.

"What's that?"

"A group of planets whose resources have been depleted by mining."

"I don't suppose you happen to know the addresses of any of those planets?" I ask critically.

Teal'c nods.

"I'm going with you," I say.

Daniel shakes his head. "He's my son," I say. Then Daniel nods his head.

* * *

We are on a planet where the light which stole my son may or may not be living. We have found dead bodies. I try to fight back the memories the sight leaves me with. I saw many dead bodies when I was controlled by the demon. These bodies are no more than bone. Bone and armor burnt the same color of intense black.

"This is really weird. These bodies are burnt to a crisp and yet nothing around them has even been touched. It's almost as if lightning struck," Sam says.

"Or maybe some kind of…" Jack starts.

"I have never before seen a weapon that could do such a thing," Teal'c offers.

"…weapon," Jack continues hopefully.

"Over here!" I offer, pointing to a woman.

"She was shot in the back as she fled," Teal'c says.

Daniel comes over looking seriously, "I count eight bodies."

"So what happened here?" Jack asks.

"The priestess was being escorted back to the Stargate by two of the Jaffa. When they met the others, she realized she was in danger. She attempted to flee. They chased her and shot her. Then someone or something attacked them," Teal'c explains.

"You can't know that for sure," Sam protests.

"I am quite certain," Teal'c says.

"What about Shifu?" Daniel says.

"She carried the child," Teal'c says.

"Come on, how can you know that?" Jack asks.

"Her hands are not bound," Teal'c offers. He rolls the body over to revel that the wrists are not tied.

"What happened to my son?" I ask.

"That I cannot guess," Teal'c says with sympathy.

* * *

We see a little temple.

"No welcoming party," Sam mutters.

"Well, someone's been reading Martha Stewart," Jack teases.

"They're probably inside," Daniel says taking off his pack, and giving me a comforting pat.

"Daniel?"

"Jack?"

"Whatcha doing?"

"Well something about this place says we all shouldn't rush in there waving guns around."

"He is right. This is sacred ground," Teal'c says.

Jack doesn't look pleased with this idea, but he allows Sam to take off her own pack. "Wait here," Jack indicates to the rest of us

"Again, my son, I'm going," I inform him.

Inside the temple there are a lot of candles flickering. No one is around. Suddenly a monk is standing in front of us.

"Hey, whoa! Where'd you come from?" Jack asks.

"I have been here for some time," he replies.

"No. You weren't here when we just came in," Jack protests.

"Here is everywhere you are."

"Excuse me?"

Daniel pipes up, "Um, hello, I'm, uh, Daniel Jackson. This is Jack O'Neill. And this is my wife Sha're. We're peaceful explorers from a place called Earth."

"Do you seek oneness with Desala?" the priest asks.

"Desala. I know that word, it sounds…tribal, African maybe."

"Desala is everything, everywhere."

"Nature. It, uh, means nature."

I'm done with this, "We're looking for my son. Shifu. Is he here?"

The monk says, "Put no barriers between you and where you are."

"I believe he wishes us to take off our boots," Teal'c offers.

"Yeah, look, we're been walking a ways today…" Jack says.

"You're journey has only begun," the monk says.

"I'm just saying I think I'm doing us all a big favor by keeping these babies on." Most of SG-1 seems to find Jack's jokes charming, but I wish he would not joke when we are trying to look for my son.

"When the mind is enlightened, the spirit is free, the body matters not." The monk sits down in the center of the room. Daniel and I take off our boots and sit down cross-legged before the monk.

"We've come looking for a boy. A baby. Shifu," Daniel offers.

"Lightning flashes, sparks shower and one blink of your eyes you have seen," the monk offers.

"Lightning, you say," Jack says sarcastically.

"I only know a snowflake cannot exist in a storm of fire," the monk says.

"What?" Jack asks.

"Jack," Daniel scolds.

"No, I…you know me, I'm a huge fan of subtlety, but that's downright cryptic," suddenly I'm liking Jack more. Cut to the chase. Find answers. Get my son.

"Sorry, don't worry about him," Daniel says dismissively to the monk.

"The sun is warm, the wind is wild, the grass is green along the shores. Here no bull can hide."

"I don't know about that," Jack mutters.

"Jack, he's speaking in the Zen Koans. Whatever theology he follows may be an original basis for Buddhism on Earth," Daniel offers.

"Well that's very nice. I'll be sure to call the Dalai Lama when we get home. But for now, how about why we came here," Jack says.

"He's right, this is very important. Is there a child here?" Daniel says.

"There is a child in all of us," the Monk says.

"I am looking for a real human boy, of flesh and bones. My son!" I demand.

"Those who seek oneness, find all that they seek," the monk says.

"I think this is gonna take a while," Daniel says holding my hand.

"Really? What gives you that idea?" Jack says marching outside.

The monk turns to me, "Your heart has known much darkness."

"That was not her fault," Daniel protests.

"You must renounce such evil to achieve oneness with Oma Desala," the monk says.

"She has," Daniel says defensively, "Oma, what does that mean?"

"Words cannot express things, speech cannot convey the spirit, swayed by words, one is lost. One cannot carry darkness on the great path."

"The darkness has left her," Daniel repeats.

"But the memories still grieve her," the monk says.

Daniel looks at me sympathetically.

"It's ok, I'm getting better all the time," I say.

"You cannot reach oneness with Oma until the mind is freed, the body is no longer required. I sense you are not ready to meet Oma Desala," the monk says dismissively.

"I am not ready to die," I say understanding what he is saying.

"She goes into the forest without disturbing a blade of grass," the monk says.

"Who is she?" Daniel asks.

"The Mother," the monk says.

"I'm the mother," I offer.

"Desala. Nature. Mother Nature, we're, we're talking about Mother Nature," Daniel offers.

"Why do you seek this child of flesh and bones?" the Monk asks.

"He's our son," I say.

"Not your son," the monk says to Daniel.

"Not genetically, but he's my son," Daniels says, and I squeeze his hand for comfort.

"Are you sure he will be safe with you?" the monk asks us.

"Yes. Absolutely," Daniel assures him.

"Because it is so clear, it takes a longer time to realize it, if you immediately know the candlelight is fire, then the meal was cooked a long time ago."

"Right. I, um, I have no idea what you're talking about." Daniel says.

* * *

Daniel

This would all be much more fascinating if he wasn't trying to keep me from Shifu. He wants me to light a candle with my mind. I'm pretty sure this is actually an impossible task. But I tried. I mean I tried to develop telekinesis like a crazy person.

"I can't do it," I say

"You hate the Goa'uld," the Monk says.

"The Goa'uld took my wife over. Along with hurting millions and millions of other people. How can I not hate them?" I say angrily.

"Your hate will lead to the child's death," the Monk says. Sha're grabs onto my hand desperately.

"How do you know that?" I ask concerned.

The monk closes his eyes. You must trust. You must believe."

"Well maybe what I don't believe is that I can light a candle with my mind. You see, I find it a lot easier to use a lighter or matches…" I stop talking when the candle lights up, "Whoa!" I exclaims.

"Now you blow it out," the Monk says. I lean forward and blow it out, "With your mind," the monk corrects.

I laugh, "Sorry. Could you, uh, could you light that again?" The monk smiles and the candle lights up, "This isn't like a trick candle or anything, is it?"

"Put your hand in the flame," the monk instructs.

"What?" I ask.

"Place your hand in the flame," he says. As weird as it may seem I've begun to trust my son's kidnapper. So I put my hand in the flame. Damn, that hurt!

"Ah! Why did you tell me to do that?"

"Why did you do it?" the monk tells me.

"Because you told me to."

"Because you trusted me," the monk says.

"Yes."

"Within you is the capacity for trust. Trust Oma Desala. Do not believe you can light the candle, believe she can light the candle," I wonder what that means.

* * *

Jack

Seriously, Daniel is nine kinds of oblivious. He never would have ended up with the world's second most beautiful woman (let's be honest, no one beats Sam) as his wife if she hadn't been a present. I mean she is sitting there dying to clobber the monk and steal her child back, and he's meditating.

"Jack, the markings on the wall are a language. It's a bible. Uh, no, actually it's more of an instruction book on how to reach this ethereal plane of existence, some kind of other world. It's only natural the Jaffa who found this place would have interpreted it as passage to the afterlife," says the oblivious one.

"Whoa, slow down there, Grasshopper," I tease.

"Ok, I'm pretty sure this place was built by an alien race a millennia ago. They may have even visited Earth and inspired the mythologies surrounding the concept of Mother Nature in various cultures."

"So this guy's an alien?"

"No. Um, I'm pretty sure the aliens discovered a means by which they could ascend to some higher plane of existence and went there…uh, wherever there is. But they left their writings in a shrine as a kind of map for others who wanted to follow them. The monk is someone who has taken up curatorship."

"Kind of janitor?"

"More of a guide."

"An usher?"

"It doesn't matter. Just…watch," he sits cross legged on the floor and stares at candle. It lights up.

"Am I supposed to believe you did that?"

"Yes."

"Daniel, a word?" I say gesturing him outside. "We didn't come here to learn parlor tricks."

"Jack."

"Is Shifu here or not?"

"I think so."

"'Cause every minute we stay here we're risking our necks. And his too if this isn't where he is."

"I know that."

"So please understand I'm on the verge of ordering a complete search of this place with or without his co-operation."

"You can't do that."

"You're confused Daniel, I can. So far, I haven't."

"I am gaining his trust."

"And how long is something like that gonna take?"

"Jack, you don't understand."

"I think I do," I say softly. My gun suddenly floats in the air. I let go of it, and protest, "Hey," the gun keeps floating between Daniel and I. I turn to the monk and say, "All right, that's dangerous. Put it down." The floats in the air for a little bit longer, and then it hits the floor, "Ok, that was a little more impressive. How'd you do that?" I say since apparently this guy only plays with you if you stroke his ego, and I want to get Shifu out of here as soon as we can.

"Actually, I did that," Daniel says.

"What?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you, this is, it's incredible."

"He taught you how to…"

"…do things with my mind. You could do it too."

"He could teach me how to light candles and move stuff around by…thinking?"

"I cannot teach you what you already know," the Monk says.

"Oh I don't think I know as much as you think I know," I say. Geez this guy is worse than the wizard of oz. I did not travel thousands of light years to be told I had a heart the whole time.

"You must come to know Oma Desala. Become her friend," Suddenly I hear the sound of a Goa'uld death glider, "That your friend?" I ask angrily stomping out of the room.

* * *

Daniel

Jack goes outside, and whatever is out there must have been bad, because when he comes back in he is furious.

"So is the kid here or not?" he demands.

"Jack," I say trying to calm him down.

"Daniel, that was a glider. We're outta time."

"Time means nothing to…" the monk begins.

Jack cuts him off, "Ah, Ah. Don't say it."

* * *

Sam

"Daniel thinks we should stay," Jack says as he comes back outside.

"Why?"

"Well, watch," Jack says.

"What?" I ask. Daniel lifts up his hand, and a huge flare of fire raises from the ground for a minute before it disappears.

"You did that?" I ask in shock

"Yes."

"That's impossible," I point out. I know enough about physics to know it was crazy. Sure, I'd seen a lot of amazing things since going through the Stargate. But everything I've seen before fit in with the laws of physics. This…someone gaining telekinetic abilities without changing their physical brain is just not possible.

"Ya think?" Jack says sarcastically.

"You learned the power to control fire," I say in shock.

"It's not just fire. All the instructions are here, on the walls. All you have to do is be willing to learn and believe," Daniel says.

"I'm sorry, but something else has to be going on here."

"Why?" Daniel asks.

"I don't know, but under different circumstances I would bring the right equipment and check for some kind of concealed technology before I assumed…" I say practically.

"Isn't there the smallest part of you that wants to believe a person can reach a higher level?"

"Yes, of course, but…" I protest.

"Don't you see what's happening here, I have that power!" Daniel explains.

"To do what?" Sam asks.

"To protect the child. I think she doesn't want me to leave until she knows I understand how to protect him." Daniel says.

"If you have the power, get me my son! I am done talking! Someone stole my baby! That automatically makes her a bad person!" Sha're shouts.

* * *

Sha're

Suddenly there is a bright light which slowly and gradually takes the form of a woman. She disappears through the wall. Daniel walks forward and touches the wall. His hand goes through it. He pulls his hand back in shock. I know what he is about to do, so I grab onto his arm. I don't want him to go without me. On the other side of the wall there is a crib with my baby in it. I jump forward and gather him up into my arms.

"Thank you. He'll be safe with us." Daniel says.

"She stole our baby, and you're thanking her?" I ask incredulously.

The floating thing starts to leave. Suddenly Daniel's eyes grow large, and stops her by grabbing on her arm, "I didn't do any of it, did I? It was you. I was wrong, I don't, I don't have any powers at all. You do. You were showing them to me. That's how you communicate with us. You were trying to tell me the boy is better off here with you, and I…I wasn't listening."

I reach out and smack Oma Desala, which has the disconcerting result of going right through her, "How dare you? How dare you say I'm not qualified to take care of my own child! He's mine! You go find your own child!"

The woman speaks, "You do not know about the powers the child has."

"Whatever it is, I'll figure out a way to deal with it. That is what family does," I insist.

She pauses and looks at me, "I have not had a family for so long that I forgot what they are like. I had planned to take care of the child until he was old enough to ascend."

"Ascend?" Daniel shouts, "But you told us you had to die first. You were going to kill him? You were planning on killing him?" he shouts in agony standing between me, who is still holding the baby, and the glowy alien.

"I can protect him. I need to erase the memories of the Goa'uld from his brain," she says.

"Why?" Daniel asks, he had kind of been thinking that was going to be some pretty valuable intel in a few years.

"The evil inside him is so strong the only way to win is to deny it battle," she says.

"So we have to erase the memories of the Goa'uld to keep him safe?" Daniel asks.

She nods.

"Do it," Daniel commands.

"But I am going to keep holding on to him," I say. She nods. She places her hand on his forehead.

* * *

Jack

"You are not welcome here," the monk informs the Jaffa.

"In the name of the god Apophis, we've come for a young boy," one of the Jaffa says.

"You will leave now," the monk repeats.

"We will not. Stand aside," he says. Lightning fills the sky. The Jaffa prepare to fire their weapons. Daniel and Sha're walk through the wall. Sha're is holding a baby. I look a little closer to make sure that it is Shifu.

"Is he ok?" I ask.

Sha're nods. There are a herd of Jaffa surrounding us, and the fact that we got the baby back safe and sound hasn't erased that fact from my mind.

"Drop your weapons," Daniel says.

"You heard him," I say to the Jaffa.

"I was talking to you Jack," Daniel says

"Wha…what?" I ask in shock.

"Do it now, all of you," Daniel repeats.

"Daniel?" I ask.

"Jack, I was wrong, I was very wrong. One of those aliens I thought was long gone is still here," Daniel says.

"Sir, we put our guns down and we're dead," Sam points out. She may be a mixture of military and scientist, but when it comes down to it the military always wins out.

"You are out-numbered and surrounded. You will die if you do not," the Jaffa insists.

"Jack, if you're ever going to trust me on anything, now is the time. The alien is the one with all the powers and she is not someone you want to fool with, if you get my drift," Daniel says. The rest of the team slowly puts down their weapons, but I do not.

"We must do it," Teal'c prompts. I put my gun on the floor.

"Kill them," the Jaffa says. They fire, but the blasts don't hit us. They just sit in mid air.

"Bye," Daniel says. Lighting strikes the Jaffa, and they all die. The ships blow up.

"Well that was cool," I say. Daniel stands there looking at the bodies. He turns to watch the monk turn into a glowy light before it disappears. Another light appears, and this one turns into a woman.

"Let's get that baby home," I say smiling at Sha're.


	16. The Light

Sha're

When I wake up Daniel is not beside me. Yesterday, he was anxious to return to the planet he had just visited to do further research. Oddly anxious. In fact, that was about all he could talk about, and he had that weird frantic look he gets when he is about to make a break through. Except it was much more intense. I glance at the clock. He was supposed to be at work an hour ago. Well, that explains why he wasn't beside me. I slept in. I'd meant to get up and have breakfast with him. I'll just get up and…the phone is ringing.

"Hello?" I say.

"Sha're, is Daniel there? He's late." Samantha asks on the phone.

"I don't see him," I say getting out of bed to have a more careful look around. "Oh God," I say into the phone. Daniel is out on the balcony, on the other side of the railing.

"What's wrong?" Samantha says.

"You need to send someone," I inform her. "Daniel?" I ask walking toward him, "What are you doing out here?"

"None of it means anything." My stomach twists. None of it means anything? I don't mean anything? My son doesn't mean anything? Our life together means nothing?

"Um. Daniel, why don't you come inside here?" I plead.

"I tried. It just goes away."

Nothing he is saying makes any sense, "Okay. Then we'll get it back."

"You can't get it back," he says with a weird little laugh.

"Whatever's wrong, we'll…we'll fix it." I offer.

Daniel bends his head down in frustration, "You don't even know what I'm talking about."

"No. No I don't. But come inside. I love you Daniel," I continue to plead.

Daniel shakes himself like he has just woken up, "Sha're?"

"Daniel, honey," I say rushing out to hold his arm so he doesn't accidently fall.

* * *

Janet

I hate losing people. I guess if you wanted to get technical I didn't lose Barber. That happened in the gate room. But I still feel responsible. I mean he committed suicide. I should have known.

I look at Daniel. I always hate it when my infirmary beds are not empty. I really hate it when SG-1 is in them. They are all my friends. I'm giving him oxygen, and monitoring him a thousand different ways. A few hours ago he was suicidal. Just like Barber, and I have to figure this out before the death count gets higher, and gets raised by one of my friends.

"The PET scan reveals his neurological activity is slowing," I inform them.

"So?" The Colonel asks impatiently. His patience is directly proportional to how sick his team is.

"Neurotransmitters relay messages within the body. Too many or too few of these chemicals transmissions can result in anxiety, depression, or a number of emotional or physical disorders," I explain.

"Does this have anything to do with Barber's thing?" The Colonel asks concerned.

"The remaining members of SG-5 are reporting almost identical symptoms. Yes, it seems almost certain. Now the only good news is that it doesn't seem to be the result of a contagion."

"Well, if it's not a disease, what?"

"I don't know. Such a drastic shift in levels is generally drug-induced, but all of their systems are void of any foreign substances. Not to mention that preliminary MALP readings of P4X-347 have ruled out all the usual suspects—air, radiation…"

"So if we retrace SG-5's tracks we may be able to come up with something?" The Colonel offers. If that doesn't sound risky I don't know what is.

"General, we saw the shadow on the video. Now something or someone is affecting these guys." The Colonel almost sounds like he's pleading.

"More than affecting them, Sir. If their brain function continues to fail, they could be facing a worst-case scenario," I inform him as gently as possible.

"So we go in MOP2, and bring back samples of the usual suspects," The Colonel says.

"You've made your case, Colonel. Watch your step," The General commands.

"Thank you, Sir."

* * *

Sam

Somewhere on the planet is something that is making Daniel so sick. We need to find it. We need to save Daniel.

"Well, I can see why Daniel was so hot on this place," the Colonel says sarcastically.

"Indeed."

"What'cha got?" he asks me.

"The air's fine, just like the MALP indicated. Whatever affected Daniel and SG-5, they didn't breathe it in," I offer and we pull of our masks. I really hate those things, they are sticky and hot.

"Okay, watch your step," the Colonel cautions. We see a shadow moving. It's a kid. He'd be about Cassie's age.

"It's just a kid. Obviously scared to death of us," I point out. I was expecting someone else. Someone that might be able to help us. Suddenly a beautiful light catches my eye. I have never seen anything so beautiful in my entire life. I think…

"I believe this is the room of light of which Daniel Jackson has spoken," Teal'c's voice says.

"Really? Carter, what are we looking at here?" Jack asks.

I focus on my readings, "Ahh, it doesn't seem to be giving off any detectable radiation, other than visible light. I think it's just decorative."

"Safe?" he asks.

"It is most difficult to believe that something so beautiful could be dangerous, O'Neill," Teal'c says mesmerized.

"Hey, let's go," The Colonel says.

"Right. Sorry, Sir."

* * *

Loran

There are three of them this time. One of them has caught up with me, "Hi. I'm Jack. And you are…?" I don't say anything, "Nice digs. Kind of reminds me of my first apartment. How are the people upstairs?" he asks. I'm not sure what he is talking about, I think he is mostly talking to keep talking.

"Loran," I offer.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what Loran means," he says.

"It's me."

"Hi, Loran."

"Jack," I offer with a smile.

"Yeah. Anyone else live here with you?" I see my parents in a flash. I try not to think about them. It's been so long since I saw other people.

"Mother and father."

"Can you take me to them? I'd like to talk to them."

"No. They're not here."

"Not in this place? So you're here alone?" He says looking at me with concern.

"Yes."

"Well, Loran, some of my people came here a few days ago." I had wanted to make contact with them as well, but I thought they would be better off without me. I didn't want them to die. Not like my parents.

"I was hiding."

"Yeah, well you hide very well, because they didn't even know you were here. The thing is, when they came home they all got very sick. We'd like to figure out why. Do you know?" I shake my head. I know a little, but telling them isn't going to keep them safe, "Okay, well, we're going to have to look around a little more. Maybe you should come along?"

* * *

Teal'c

I examine the image of the parents of Loran. "Approximately how long ago was this image recorded?" I ask.

"That's my home. Before we came here."

"So your parents brought you here from another world?" I inquire.

"Yeah. They were explorers. Kind of like you I guess. So they came here then…What was it that we were looking for?"

"If you cannot give us an explanation to our friend's illness, we must continue to search for clues as to what may have caused it."

"Well, none of your friends are in here. Hey, I have to show you something. This was a present from my father on my birthday." Loran reaches down to retrieve a weapon. I draw my zat'nik'tel in protection. I have chosen the zat'nik'tel over the staff weapon, because I have no wish to harm this child.

"No, it's not real," Loran protests as he offers me the toy.

"Children of the Tau'ri also seem to enjoy colorful weapons that have no function." Human children appear to have more fun than Jaffa children. I wonder if it would be possible to bring this delight to my own son. I wonder what exactly gives them pleasure.

"It's fun," the child offers. I push a button, and lights and sounds emit from the gun.

"I see. On my home world of Chulak we do not celebrate the anniversary of one's birth."

"No presents?"

"It is a day like any other."

"Well, how do you know how old you are?"

"I am one hundred and one years of age."

"You don't look that old."

"So I have been told."

"So when do you turn 102?"

"In forty-seven days," I say placing the toy back in his hands.

"Keep it. It's a birthday present."

"I cannot."

"In forty-seven days you'll be gone. Right? You keep it."

I push the button again causing it to emit sounds and light. Perhaps I am beginning to understand the human concept of fun.

* * *

Fraiser

Without any warning the Colonel picks up a medical chart on a clip board and slams it down. He then pushes a tray across the room.

"Colonel? Are you all right?" I ask knowing full well that he isn't.

"What kind of dumb-ass question is that? My friend is lying here on his deathbed. I'm fine." It isn't his usual sarcasm. That would have given me comfort.

"We're working on the problem, Sir." I say trying to calm him down.

"I don't want excuses!" he bellows.

"Colonel O'Neill, if you don't calm down right now, I will have you removed from my infirmary. Is that clear?" Usually when I play the medical card he backs down. This time though, he is still just as angry as he was before.

"I'm fine." He says.

"Sir, I'd like to recheck your dopamine levels." Yesterday Daniel was yelling at General Hammond, and today he's fighting for his life. Will it be O'Neill that is fighting for his life tomorrow?

"It's happening to me, isn't it?" he says, and he actually sounds…scared. Now that is disconcerting.

"Let me find out, please." I ask him.

* * *

Jack

Fraiser is spouting some medical nonsense, "Kind of like drugs," I mutter cutting to the chase.

"Only as long as you're on the planet. Shortly after you returned, neural activity begins to decrease and depression results. Blood work confirms it," Fraiser says.

"Does the boy carry any immunity we could use to our advantage?" the General asks.

"No. His blood work came back the same. I don't think he'll be able to leave the planet without experiencing the same narcotic withdrawal symptoms," the Doc says.

"But Colonel 'Neill was only on that planet for a little over an hour," Hammond protests. If I feel like this after a few hours, than what is Daniel going through?

"Yes, Sir, this addiction appears to be almost instantaneous," Fraiser says.

"You're telling me I'm addicted to that place?" I grown.

"The intensity of your mood swing into depression seems to be proportional to the time you spent on the planet. All we can do is hope that your exposure wasn't long enough for your symptoms to get as bad as they did with Daniel and the others."

"Great. All those years of just saying no."

"Jack, I tried to recall Major Carter or Teal'c. They haven't responded, and I can't risk sending another team," Hammond says.

Daniel's monitor starts to make a sound that I am pretty sure is not a good sign.

"What's that?" I ask nervously.

* * *

Daniel's dying. I'm running down the corridor as quickly as possible. I throw Daniel over my shoulder and rush through the gate.

* * *

Daniel

This is the most intense headache I have ever had. But the headache is fading quickly. Man, I wish I could always get relief this quickly.

"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c says as everyone comes back to the room. How exactly did I get back to the planet?

"Yep. Had to bring him back. It was the only thing that was going to keep him alive," Jack says sitting down next to me.

"Sir, how long were you gone?" Sam asks, we've figured out that we can't trust our own sense of time in this place.

"Few hours. Hammond tried to contact you," Jack explains.

"He did not," Teal'c protests.

"He did. I heard his voice," the kid supplies.

"Where were we?" Sam asks.

"In there," the kid offers.

"I can't explain it, Sir," Sam says.

"Fraiser thinks we're all addicted to something here that alters our brain chemistry. And dollars to doughnuts, it's that damn light," Jack says pointing.

"Oh, I don't see how that's possible," Sam says.

Jack looks at the kid accusatorily, "Hey. You knew, didn't you?"

"No."

"That's why you're not allowed in there," Jack says.

"My father said I was too young."

"Uh-huh," Jack says sarcastically.

"Sir, if it's the light itself, then how did Daniel recover just by arriving on the planet?" Sam asks.

"I don't know, Major, but I want you to find out. Otherwise we're stuck here indefinitely, and that's not acceptable. Ahh, screw it, we're shutting that thing off." Jack says spinning around and heading out of the room.

"No," the kid says trying to stop him.

"You stay here," Jack says pointing at him.

* * *

Jack

Carter is acting really strange. "What?" I ask her.

"I guess the reality that we may never go home is setting in," she says snippily. That is so not like her. Carter never gives up.

"Oh, Hammond'll keep us supplied with everything we'll need until we can figure this out. It's a nice beach," I say attempting to boost her morale.

"It'd be a good excuse for you, wouldn't it?" she barks.

"Huh?" I ask.

"To do nothing for a while."

"What?"

"Forget it."

"That would be, "Forget it, Sir."" I say. Carter is all about the military protocol. Hell, our mutual respect for military protocol is the reason why Carter and I are still Carter and Sir. And here she is getting mouthy to a superior officer like she is a damn teenager mouthing off to her dad.

"Oh, please—you think I'm keeping that up if we're stuck here forever?"

"Listen, Major…"

"No way."

"That's "No way, Colonel.""

"I'm supposed to accept that. That's the way it's going to be?"

"That's the way it is." And we've accepted it before.

"What difference does it make? It's not up to you."

I grab onto her by both of her shoulders and scream at her, "Carter! You're in withdrawal."

"Oh, I'm in withdrawal?!" shouts the mouthy version of Carter.

"Yes! So am I." I scream.

"O'Neill. Major Carter. I believe I have located the parents of Loran," Teal'c says coming over the hill. We run after him. He brushes some sand off a skull. Oh crap, they're dead.

* * *

Loran

I look again at the picture of my parents. I know where they went, and I know what they probably found while they were out there. If they found my parents they aren't going to want to talk to me anymore. This will probably be my last time getting to talk to people…probably forever.

"That's my mother and father there. That's me," I offer Daniel.

"You were a lot younger there," he says looking at me carefully.

"Yeah, it's old," I say sadly.

"Yeah, about that…"

I don't want to talk about my parents before I have to, so I interrupt him, "Hey, can I take an image of you?"

"Sure," he says, and I snap the picture.

"That's great. I'm sorry that you can't leave," I offer.

"Are you? I mean it makes sense that you'd want some company. I'm just thinking maybe that's the reason you didn't tell us how dangerous the light was."

"No."

"It's okay, I'm not mad," he offers, and his voice does sound pretty kind.

"That's not why," I say, and I hope he will believe me. The others come back saying they are going through withdrawal. They are back in the castle, they will be all right soon.

* * *

Jack

The kid is probably in denial or something. I should probably go about this all delicately and carefully. But I've never been the touchy feely sort of guy, and I hate being lied to. The kid knew perfectly well that his parents were dead. I mean he buried them! But I probably shouldn't have yelled that at him.

He's looking at the picture of his parents and himself again. He's barely been able to keep his eyes off it since we arrived. I wonder if he's been looking at it ever since they died, or if we've triggered some memories. I sit down next to him.

"Hey. I'm sorry. Nice picture. Your parents?" I ask.

"I killed them."

I look at the kid. Liar yes, murderer no. "You did? I find that…What happened?" I say realizing that I have to let him tell the story.

"We found this place. All that they would do is stare at that light. All day. The light didn't affect me—my father said it was because I was too young. But they didn't let me in the Light room anyway. I told them to stop every day. But they'd just tell me to bring them things."

"Okay. So you did that. And?"

"One day I stopped. It was days before their hunger was stronger than the light. Then they came out, looking for me, looking for food, and I snuck into the light room…and I turned it off. Not just the light, everything. I didn't know that it would hurt them. I just wanted to go home."

"It's not your fault."

"They died because of me. They were screaming. They ran outside. They didn't make any sense. So I did, I turned it back on. But they were already in the water, so far…and they just kept on going, they just kept going and screaming and I'd turned it back on, but they just kept on going. And then they were gone. Next day I found them on the shore."

"Loran. You were trying to help them. You were trying to free them from something. It wasn't your fault."

"I miss them."

"Yeah." I'm going to have to find this kid a good home if we ever get back to earth. Maybe…

* * *

Sam

"What have you got?" the Colonel asks.

"We think we can turn it off," I tell him.

"Don't let them. You'll die like my parents," Loran says panicked.

"If we shut if off cold turkey, Loran is right, we'll go into withdrawal again. But Teal'c and Daniel have translated some of the writing inside this thing, Sir, and we think it was designed to be turned down incrementally," I say with a big smile.

"The Goa'uld who used this place needed human slaves in order to tend to their needs while they were here," Daniel offers.

"We've already taken it down a notch without any harm," I say.

"Within two or three weeks our brain chemistry will return to normal. You may then return home," I offer.

"So three weeks in a palace by the beach? Teal'c, you don't have to hang around. Why don't you head back and let Hammond know what's going on?" the Colonel commands.

"Very well," Teal'c says.

"And then you'll leave?" Loran says sadly.

"I think we all will. Right?" the Colonel says looking at me.

"Yeah. He should return to normal along with the rest of us," I say.

"Then I can go with you?" the boy says hopefully.

"Sure. Come on. Let's go see Teal'c off. You like ice cream?" Jack asks the boy.

"What's ice cream?"

* * *

Meg

I walk into the ice cream shop with Cassie and Charlie. Jon was gone for three weeks, but at least this time I didn't have to worry about him. I got to talk to him on the phone. It sounded really weird, kind of like a phone and a walkie-talkie connected, except even more distant. Still, I wasn't worried.

Cassie runs up to her mother and gives her a huge kiss.

I give my son a big hug, "Are you going to make a habit of getting stuck on missions?" I ask him.

"When I have a babysitter as good as you, sure," he says with a wide grin. Suddenly I notice a teenager sitting at the table with the rest of my son's team. He looks like he's about fourteen or fifteen.

Jon's eyes follow my gaze, "That's Loran," he offers.

"I see, and are we welcoming the kid to the family?" I ask.

"No, I just promised him ice cream," Jon sees how confused I look. "You met Janet Frasier, medical officer at the mountain once right?"

I nod. She is Sam's best friend, and I once dropped Cassie off for a sleepover at her house. She used to take care of Cassie right after Sam first adopted her. Still does I guess, although I usually do it. After all I'm taking care of Charlie anyway if Jon's team is trapped off-world, and I love the girl to pieces.

"She's adopting him. Turns out she's wanted a kid for awhile. Would have taken Cassie if Sam hadn't wanted her," he offers with a smile.


	17. Ascension

Orlin

After a few hundred years you stop talking, even to yourself. I have been alone so long. Four people, on my planet, after all this time! One of them is beautiful. I have never seen a woman so beautiful.

I go inside of her mind. It is also beautiful in there. She is a warrior, a scientist, a daughter, a sister, a million things. She is good, and she is full of love.

She hits the ground. Damn! I didn't want to hurt her.

I walk over to her teammate and give him a nudge to go check on her. He finds her unconscious, and rushes her through the gate. I go with her, but I don't relax until I hear that she is all right.

* * *

Dr. Fraiser

"Next thing you know I'm waking up with Colonel O'Neill looking down at me. I suppose it's possible I touched something inside the device," Sam says as I finish the examination.

"No contact burns," I say. Actually I can't find any reason that she was sick.

"So what do you think it was?"

"Well, people have been known to black out from fatigue."

"Come on Janet. I was a little tired but…"

"Your pre-mission blood test did show slight anemia."

"You gave me clearance to go."

"And I'm starting to question that judgment."

"There is nothing wrong with me," she insists.

"Ok. At least consider what you've been through the last few years. You've had a Tok'ra symbiote die in your brain, your memory has been stamped, and your entire consciousness has been transferred out of your body and into a computer and then back again and that is just for starters. Eventually it has to take its toll."

She smiles, but it's a grumpy smile, "Are we done?"

"Yes," I tell her and she hops down from the bed.

"Make sure you come back if you start speaking in an alien language," I warn her.

"I'm sure I'll have no choice," she complains.

* * *

Sam

They are shutting me out. I'm not allowed to go and research the device. General Hammond just told me to, "Take it easy."

"Take it easy?" I repeat indignant. I do not like to play the whole damsel in distress thing.

"Yeah. You've been a little tense," the Colonel offers.

"Tense? Me? I'm not tense. Am I?" I say. Then I realize that my voice sounds pretty stressed out right now, "When did you first notice?"

"As we met," he says dramatically.

"I've always just thought of myself as very focused."

"It's called working too hard. You're going to crash and burn."

"I really don't have that much else to do, Sir."

"Well find something. Take up…golf. Fly a kite, knit something," he mutters as he leaves the room.

"I…I'm fine. Really," I mutter even though no one can hear me. Knit, seriously?

* * *

Orlin

I follow her home. She stops to pick up a girl. Her daughter. I examine the photos on a wall. There are pictures of the family she was a part of when she was little. There are many pictures of her daughter and her. And her team and their children. These people speak a language that is different than the people of Velona. I can't understand them yet. But there are books that will help me learn. I sit down and begin to learn.

I hear a sound that I have never heard before, and go to investigate what the sound is. She is sticking something into her mouth and rubbing it across her teeth. She must have heard or saw me, because she turns quickly, but I turn non-corporeal as quickly as possible. She lies down and goes to sleep. She is beautiful when she sleeps.

I can speak their language now, and am wearing what I think is appropriate clothing. She and her daughter, Cassie, leave the house together. She returns later without Cassie, and picks up a…newspaper, they are called newspapers, that is on the sidewalk.

"Hi," I say.

"Hi," she says back, and she sounds cautious, wary.

"How are you?" I ask, this is the common greeting in her culture.

"Fine. How are you?"

"Good. Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, uh, are you from around here?"

"No." I am from a place that is a very long way from here, "But this is where you live," I inform her. I can tell I still got a lot of things about her culture wrong. This encounter isn't going at all like I hoped it would.

"Yes it is. I'm going to go back inside now."

"See you again."

"Bye," she says going back into her house. She locks the door. But I don't even have a physical body, so the lock is not going to keep me out.

* * *

Sam

The creepy guy from outside is now standing in my kitchen. I am so glad I already took Cassie to school.

"How did you get in here?" I ask him.

"I won't hurt you."

"No, I'll hurt you if you come any closer," I promise him as I start to dial the phone for help.

"Please don't. I just wanna talk to you."

"About what?" I ask, but I'm not putting down the phone, and I sure as hell am keeping the island between the two of us. I'm reasonably sure that I could kick this guy's ass, but I'm not letting my guard down.

"It's complicated." I'm sure reasons for stalking someone are complicated. Probably have to have a psychology degree to begin to understand them.

"Let's start with how you got into my house?"

"I followed you home last night." He's not even trying to turn down the creep level! Wait that means!

"You've been here all night?"

"I read some of your books and watched the television so I could learn how to speak and what to wear." He glances at what he was wearing, "Is this ok?"

"You've been in my house all night? I have a daughter!" I explain.

"Yes. But you couldn't see me. I just took this form now so we could relate. Actually, I used to look this way before my ascension." I pick up the phone and start to dial. "Please, I'm not crazy."

The phone is dead. I slam it down. "Stay the hell away from my daughter! Who are you anyway?"

"My name is Orlin. I'm from the planet you just visited. I followed you back through the Stargate."

"See, that's impossible." He walks right through the kitchen island. So much for that being a buffer between us, "I can become invisible in my natural, non-corporeal state."

"What do you want?" I ask.

"I'm sorry if I scared you, I just wanted to talk to you. It's been so long since I…I…I know this is going to seem…ok, I'll just come out and say it and then move on from there. I have these, I guess you could call them feelings." I push past him. I need to get out of here, and get some help, "But the truth is…I love you."

* * *

Jack

When Sam called the SGC up and said some alien had been creeping around her and Cassie all night I wanted to murder him. But there appears to be no one here.

"Looked like an ordinary guy?" I ask her as they hook up all kinds of cameras to try to catch the guy.

"Pretty much," she says.

"What was he wearing?" I ask.

"Average, normal clothes."

"Where do you think he got 'em?" she gives me the look I see from these people a lot. It means they think I'm asking a stupid question. But it's valid. If he was as she claimed pure energy like Daniel's friend (what is with my teammates and attracting aliens?) he wouldn't have clothes. So I'm trying to figure out if there is a naked guy somewhere who got mugged by pure energy. Valid concern.

"Come on, Sir, we've seen lots of aliens before," she protests. I can understand why she's bothered by the fact that people aren't exactly believing her.

"Hammond had the surveillance tapes in the Gate room checked," I point out.

"The alien said he could become completely invisible."

"What else did he say?"

"He just said who he was and where he was from. Believe me, Sir, at first I thought he was just some crazy guy off the street and then he starts walking through solid objects. I knew there was no way I was going to be able to contain him if I tried. My phone line was dead and I decided the best thing to do would be to bring a Code 3 team in here as fast as possible."

"Carter. No one's accusing you of acting improperly," she followed proper military protocol. She always does which is part of the reason that…focus, this can't be about you O'Neill.

A technician tells me they are done. "Uh I could hang out for a while," I offer.

"So far he's only shown himself to me."

"I could take Cassie for awhile."

"Thanks, Sir," she says with a smile.

* * *

Orlin

I'm lonely again. They brought in cameras, and I had to hide. I couldn't talk to her. But at least I could watch her. Jack takes her daughter to be with him for awhile. I would never hurt her.

"I understand why you did it," I tell her.

"Of course you wait until they took the cameras away," she mutters.

"Military protocol. You would have jeopardized your job if you didn't report me."

"I just came from a psychological evaluation. Do you understand what that means?"

"They think you're crazy."

"Am I?"

"There were times on Velona where I thought I might be losing my mind." Times? Who am I kidding, most of the time. To be alone that long. With no one. With no purpose.

"Velona?" she repeats.

"Your planet refers to it as 636. I was there for hundreds of years by myself. The first time I saw you…"

"Look…"

"Please. Let me finish. My kind are capable of a level of communication that shares our innermost essence." I felt some of her before, on the planet. But I wasn't able to complete the experience. There are some parts of her which I do not know.

"Telepathy," she says, and I can see that she is repulsed by the idea.

"Reading someone's mind is an invasion of privacy. It's not about specific thoughts or memory. It's a sort of…exchange of spirit."

"So you did this sharing thing on me."

"Unfortunately, you passed out. I guess you weren't prepared. But I did learn about you."

"What did you learn?"

"That you're a good person, that your heart is pure, that on the inside your spirit is as beautiful as you are on the outside," she doesn't take compliments well, and I've embarrassed her.

"All right," she says standing up.

"Where are you going?"

"To get the Code 3 team back in here."

"I'll just hide again."

"So what are you going to do? Stalk me for the rest of my life?"

"Actually, I just wanted you to let me try again. I think a human can handle it. I think you have to just be…well, receptive."

"Then will you go to the SGC and turn yourself in?"

"No. But I'll leave if you want."

"Will you actually be gone?" she says suspiciously.

"I promise."

"Ok. What do I do?"

I stand up, and stand in front of her, "Stand there. Open your mind to the possibility of an existence not governed by the rules of science which you hold so dear."

"How do I do that?" she asks, and I know she is still quite suspicious. It doesn't much matter how she feels now, after she's seen into my mind she is going to feel differently.

"Just close your eyes and…"

"Don't say take it easy," she says grumpily.

"Relax," I offer.

* * *

Sam

I don't know quite what I was expecting. Perhaps, something like the emotion recorder that Narim gave me, but this is different from that. It's way more intense. There are emotions, and ideas, but most of it is something else. Character I suppose. Maybe soul, though I'm not even sure I believe in soul.

Orlin doesn't look like a man anymore. He is glowy like Oma Desala was the time we saw her. The light is all around me, even in me. Suddenly I wonder what exactly I signed up for, and I'm relieved that Jack took Cassie.

It's over, and I look up at Orlin, "Oh my God," I say.

* * *

Jack

"Colonel!" Carter says running after me. She's dressed in civilian clothing, and I know that she's supposed to be resting, but I'm not about to remind her of that again. I'm lucky I kept my skin intact after the last reminder.

"Yep?"

"Sir, look at this," she says holding up a clock that has a camera hidden inside. I was really hoping that she wouldn't notice, but I knew that she would.

"So?" I say trying to be all calm.

"So, it was in my house. The Code3 team was supposed to take away all their equipment when they left, no more cameras, no more listening devices."

"So they forgot one Carter," I say, knowing full well that she isn't going to buy that, but I have to tell her it anyway.

"Are you sure?" she asks looking at me. I know the only thing she's trying to do right now is figure out whether or not I'm in on it.

"No," I admit.

"Sir. Is the SGC secretly keeping tabs on me?"

"Secretly?"

Her frustration with the situation is showing again, "Colonel, I did my duty in reporting the alien encounter and now everyone thinks I'm crazy."

"Look, Carter, here's the bottom line. No one has seen what you've seen and until that happens we're all going to think you're nuts," I say.

"Sir, purely hypothetically, as my superior office, if this alien did show himself to me again…" she says. That's a pretty clever way to ask for my advice.

"Did it?" I ask.

"I'm just saying if the alien had the ability and desire to show himself only to me, it would probably be better if I gathered as much information as I could, possibly even found a way of isolating it, before I officially mentioned it again. Right?"

"Probably. Yes. I got to pee," I say indicating the bathroom.

"Yes Sir."

* * *

Sam

"Hi mom!" Cassie says as I come in the door.

"You're late," Orlin accuses me. Another man scolding me for being a workaholic, and I'm not even dating this one. Of course, the Colonel is the man who scolds me for that the most, and I am definitely not dating the Colonel.

I stare at him in shock, "What do you mean?"

"You said you'd be home an hour ago. I was worried," he says.

"Hey, this is not a relationship we have going here. I don't even know what it is," I offer.

"You still could have called," Orlin says.

"Orlin made dinner. He wanted to wait for you, but he said I could go ahead and eat," Cassie offers.

"That's great Cassie. Can you go work on your homework?" I ask her.

She makes a face, "Ok mom, ah…I like Orlin. He's the first guy you dated since you adopted me."

I close my eyes. Once she's out of earshot I turn to Orlin, "You picked my kid up from school?"

"I thought you would be glad to have her home. I know how much you love her."

"And what are you talking about I should have called? I didn't know Cassie would be here. I figured she'd be at Jack's. You told Jack not to pick her up? He's probably frantic."

"I had Cassie call and say she was coming home to your house."

I look at the table. It's all decorated with candles and flowers. If he picked Cassie up, he must have driven. If he drove. I touch his shoulder,

"Surprise."

"How?" I ask.

"Things have been going well between us, right?" Oh, the romantic table, the bonding with my kid. This guy is delusional. It also points to…well that mind sharing thing we did. What exactly was that?

"There is no us, Orlin. I don't see how there ever could be."

"That was just because we used to live on different planes of existence."

"Used to?"

"It's possible for my kind to take human form. Actually, re-take human form, considering this is the way we started."

The doorbell rings, "Oh boy," I mutter.

I hear the Colonel's voice from outside, "Carter!"

"It's Colonel O'Neill. Disappear," I say waving my hands at Orlin.

I hear another ring of the doorbell, "That's what I was trying to tell you. I can't anymore."

The Colonel starts knocking hard on the door. I shove Orlin into a closet. Even under normal circumstances I wouldn't want the Colonel to see me on a…are we calling this a date? With someone. But definitely not when he's an alien that everyone thinks I'm crazy for thinking exists.

I open the door. The Colonel is standing there holding a pizza, Teal'c is behind him holding a movie, and wearing a cowboy hat.

"Hey guys, what are you doing here?" I ask.

"We brought pizzas and a movie. We figured since you wanted Cassie back, you might want some extra company." the Colonel offers.

"Star Wars," Teal'c says proudly.

"He's seen it, what? Eight times?" the Colonel asks.

"Nine," Teal'c corrects.

"Nine times. If Teal'c likes it, it's got to be ok," the Colonel says.

"You've never seen Star Wars?" I ask in shock.

"Well, you know me and sci-fi. Come on, we never just get to hang out, so I thought we'd…"

"Uh, Sir, as much as I, ah…" I cut him off. I glance back inside the house hoping Orlin stays under wraps.

"Carter. Do you…already have company?"

"Kind of."

"A date?" he asks with something between a smirk and a grimace on his face.

"I can understand why you might assume that I didn't have plans," I say, and I'm a little surprised it sounds a bit bitter.

"Don't worry about it. We'll find something else to do," he says.

"I'm really sorry, I mean this is a surprise, very unexpected," isn't that the truth?

"Well good for you. Have fun."

"Thank you."

"Have a pizza…and fun. You want me to take Cassie?" he offers.

"Ah, no it's fine Sir," I say. I don't need my daughter blabbing about who exactly my company is. Or Jack thinking that Orlin and I are doing something I wouldn't want to do in front of my daughter. I take the pizza and he leaves. I open the closet and let Orlin out.

"As I was saying, once my kind chooses to take human form, we can't ascend again without the help of the others."

"Well, since you made a romantic meal, and fed my daughter I might as well eat with you," I say.

"I don't know where the rest of my kind are," he says.

"Well, believe it or not, we met one of them. Her name was Oma Desala."

"Really. Never heard of her."

"She could do the same glowy kind of things that you can and she controlled the forces of Nature."

"Yeah, that's easy. At least it used to be," and he doesn't look at all sad about what he's lost. If I lost what he lost I'd be pretty bummed out.

"Well she lived on a planet called Kheb and she helped people ascend to a higher plane of existence."

"That's why I've never heard of her. She was probably banished, like me."

"What for?"

"Breaking one of the most sacred rules of our kind: Do not accelerate the natural ascension process of those beneath. The humans of Velona were under attack from the Goa'uld. I was prohibited from interfering, but I couldn't just watch them die."

"You told them how to build the weapon."

"Communicated the knowledge, yes. They saved themselves."

"But not for long."

"No."

"Well, you were right to try."

"You're wrong. It was a horrible mistake. Shortly after they used the weapon to defend themselves, they started to plan the conquest of other planets using the technology that I gave them."

"So what happened?"

"The others."

"The others of your kind destroyed the planet? Well, they interfered too, isn't that breaking their own rule," I say angrily.

"As a collective, they decided it was necessary to prevent a disaster that I was responsible for. I was forced to live on Velona after that as my punishment."

"You couldn't have known."

"That's why the rule exists."

"So. What now?"

"I'm human. Mortal, like you. I can never go back to the way I was without the others."

"Why would you do this?" I'm not saying this to make an accusation. I really want to understand why someone would give up all kinds of wonderful things…for me.

"I did it as much for myself as for you. If nothing develops between us, I'll accept it. I just couldn't go on any other way. I just had to know."

I put my hand over his, and smile at him. He smiles back, "Your daughter likes movies."

"Did Cassie try to convince you to go to a movie with her?" I ask suspiciously.

"She I informed me it is a bonding ritual in your society," he offers.

"Yeah, we have other bonding activities which involves looking at each other and talking. We'll play a board game or something after supper," I say.

"My kind…haven't been able to have offspring since they ascended. Mostly they don't want them. But caring for young…" he pauses, "is pleasurable."

I smile, patting his hand.

* * *

Cassie

The guy is weird, even a little bit creepy. But I do like him. He's nice, and he's the first guy mom brought home. Well, actually she didn't bring him home. Apparently he didn't really have permission to pick me up from school, and call Jack's mom to tell her I wasn't coming home. Whatever, he's cool, but weird. We played board games all night.

The next morning I get up and he's still here. Like holy crap! Mom couldn't have known him that long. I mean I was at Jack's for like three days while she was supposed to relax. So unless she was lying to me about being at work she hasn't known this guy long enough for him to be a breakfast companion.

"Mom!" I say. She pulls me into another room.

"It's not what it looks like," she insists.

"It looks like Orlin spent the night!" I say raising an eyebrow.

"Well, he did, but it's only because he doesn't have another place to stay."

"So you let some homeless guy crash at our house?" I ask.

"Look, it's a complicated, classified situation," she says.

"Ok, so why doesn't he stay the SGC?" I ask.

"It's complicated Cass; he's just going to stay with us for a little while. Is that ok with you?"

I nod. There is something weird going on.

* * *

Sam

"Cassie? Orlin?" I ask as I enter the house.

"Sam, I'm glad you're home. I made something for you," he hands me a piece of cloth. I carefully unwrap it. It's an emerald. A big freaking emerald.

"Is this real?" I ask in shock.

"I read about how humans associate certain materials with their birth month. Yours is emerald right?"

"It's huge."

"Oh. Is it? It was difficult to tell the common size from the pictures in the book."

"You made it?"

"You wouldn't believe the things that you can make from the common, simple items lying around your planet. Which reminds me, you're going to need a new microwave."

"Orlin, I need to talk to you about something else."

"Ok."

"Let's take a walk," I say, "Hey Cass, you going to be ok for an hour or so?"

"Sure Mom," she says with a smile.

* * *

"The others will know if the weapon is activated," he tells me.

"You think they'll try to stop us?"

"It's possible."

"What, even if we only intend to use the weapon to defend ourselves?"

"How can you be sure of your people's intentions? You obviously can't trust them if you think that they would spy on you inside of your own house."

"Yeah, I guess I can't trust all of them," I say. I hate the way that all advanced races seem to treat us with disdain. I mean seriously, there is some good within us.

"I've read some of your recent history."

"And?"

"Many of the creators of the first atom bomb honestly believed it would only be used to maintain peace. I can't take the chance, Sam. I won't be responsible for the demise of another civilization."

"Well if you thought it might come to that, why didn't you just destroy the weapon?"

"I thought I had. I never expected you to be able to replace the power core. You really are brilliant," he says causing me to blush.

"I think your point is, we have to find a way to stop the test," I say ignoring his flattery.

"How? You have no proof without exposing me."

"I know," I've been trying to work my way around that for days, all to no avail. He smiles at me, "What?"

"I'm sorry. If you haven't turned me in by now, there must be a reason."

"I'd feel bad betraying you. That's all, nothing more," I defend.

"You like me."

"Orlin," I protest.

"You like me. I can tell. You like me a lot," he says drawing a smile out of me against my will.

Why should I deny it? I know he likes me. I know I like him. I know he's a good person. How often do you get a guarantee like that? I reach out, and take his hand. His fingers intertwine with mine, and we continue walking.

* * *

Well I was right, they were taping us. They have records of almost all the conversations I had with Orlin. I'm just hoping they don't have a recorder in the guest bedroom. I shake my head trying to get rid of that memory. I don't need that one right now. Now they are going to go in and kidnap him for a lack of a better word.

"Let Carter go in. He's worth more to you alive, right?" Jack advises. I'm going to have to thank him for that later. Simmons agrees, and they hand me a radio. I wonder if Jack knows I'm planning on helping him escape.

The house is completely dark. I find myself profoundly glad that Cassie is with Meg since I knew we'd be working late tonight. I put on the flashlight, "Orlin? Orlin?"

I hear his voice from my basement, "Sam? Come on down."

I haven't been in my basement forever. He is doing something with the fuse box, "Orlin, what are you doing?"

"Ok, just a minute," he says.

"There's a team of Special Forces outside," I warn.

"I know," he says somewhat absently.

"They want to take you into custody," I inform him.

"I know. It's ok."

"Orlin, I didn't turn you in," I say seriously. He has to know this, especially after last night.

"I didn't think you did," giving me a quick smile. He then turns back to the fuse box. Sparks come out of it, and he leads me to another room, "Come on," he prompts. Apparently it's been too long since I went into my basement. There is a Stargate down here.

"Whoa. You've been busy," I say.

"I didn't think they'd let me go back to Velona through their Stargate," he figures.

"So you built one?"

"Sort of. This won't dial multiple addresses and will only create a wormhole once and probably burn out."

"And you ordered the materials on line," I say. I heard a list from Simmons of some of the things he's been ordering. I didn't even know they let you buy some of those things without a permit or something.

"Mostly. Sorry, but you're going to have a pretty big credit card bill this month. Oh, and you're going to need a new toaster. I tapped into the main power line. Hopefully we'll be able to draw enough energy."

"And then what?"

"I go to Velona to stop your people from using the weapon."

"You know they won't listen to you. They have orders."

"Then I'll have to make them listen."

"They could kill you," I say. Simmons is trying to get my attention over the radio. I ignore him, and pretty soon I hear Jack's voice warning me that they are coming in.

"I was really hoping that there would be another way," Orlin says. He powers up the Stargate, "You know how I feel about you. I hope this isn't goodbye." He runs through the Stargate, and I jump after him.

"Orlin!" I call. I run over to the building where the weapon was. I hear a shot fired. No, no, no! "Hold your fire! I know this man." I say standing in front of him. I know that he's been shot, but he doesn't look that bad.

"He attacked us," Reynolds protests.

Damn, he wasn't able to stop it. The weapon is already on, and it's gaining power. "Colonel please. Lower your weapon. He has good reason to wanna stop this test," I beg.

"I-I have orders from General Hammond," he says, but he's obviously conflicted.

"I know. Let's just dial out and talk to the General about it."

"Can't do that. Your instructions specifically said that once we started the energy build up, we couldn't abort or the reactor will blow."

Crap, that is a valid point. I turn to Orlin, "He's right. If we disconnect the reactor now, it will explode."

"Good. The weapon will be destroyed," Orlin says.

"I can't let that happen, Major," Reynolds says to me. Orlin dives forward and Reynolds shoots him. But Orlin manages to disconnect it. The device goes dead, but Orlin doesn't look good.

"I can't believe how much this hurts."

"Just hang on," I plead.

"Major, we've got to get out of here," Reynolds says.

"We can't dial out. We can't risk the blast translating through the wormhole," I warn. This is turning out to be a very big disaster.

"I have to go, Sam," Orlin says gently touching my face, "They've given me another chance. It's the only way I can save you." He starts to glow like he did when we were joined. He turns into complete light, and he slowly begins to float away from me. He picks up the naquadah generator with his glowy mass. He lifts it into the sky where it explodes like a whole bunch of lightning. One of the shots juts down, and destroys the device. I watch as the clouds clear. He's gone.


	18. Rite of Passage

Jack

Sam lights up the candles on Cassie's birthday cake.

"Cassandra!" Sam yells "I'm not imagining it, I mean she was here, was she not?" Sam says to me.

"Yeah! For almost the entire time she was opening her presents," I say with a smile.

Sam yells again, "Cassie!"

Cassie comes the room brushing her hair and says, "What?" with the kind of attitude that used to earn me a slap on my mouth.

"Hey! Make a wish!" Sam says cheerfully.

"Dominic's waiting," Cassie says with the same attitude.

My eyebrows shot up, "A boy, she has a boy waiting?" I ask looking at Sam.

"Invite him in. I'm sure he'd like to have a piece of birthday cake," Sam says.

"I'd love to meet him," I offer.

"Mom you already interrogate him. I don't need Jack to interrogate him as well. You said I could go."

"Yeah, I did…after," Sam says.

"We're meeting a bunch of people," she protests.

"You know, considering that you have not been feeling well, I think you're just lucky I'm letting you go out at all," Sam says staring at him.

"Fine!" Cassie says spinning out o the room.

* * *

Cassie

"They're not letting me leave yet. I think Mom wants to let this guy she works with, Jack, and his son scare you, so, I mean if you want to meet up with everybody then—" I tell Dominic with a sigh. This big huge SGC family is so embarrassing. Sometimes I wish I could just have a normal family. I mean I like Jack. In fact, I wouldn't mind him being a part of my normal family. But I hate having to explain my mom's teammates and their families' constant presence in my life. It's weird.

"Wait a second…here. Happy Birthday," he says offering me a box. Inside is a pyramid shaped prism. I was fascinated with prisms when we learned about them in school. It's one of those not from earth things. I lived here for over four years now, but there are still a lot of things we didn't have where I came from, "It's just like the ones from class."

"Yeah, well, you…you said it was pretty, so…This one's for decoration, so…I thought you could put it in your room." I hold it up to the porch light, and the rainbow shines on Dominic's face. I move it closer. He steps toward me. Oh, my God he's going to kiss me! As soon as our lips make contact the light above my head explodes. I feel myself falling down.

* * *

Jack

"Help!" we hear a boy's voice from the porch. Sam, Charlie, and I run outside. Cassie is passed out on the floor.

"What happened?!" I demand from the kid.

"Nothing! She just fell." Dominic says.

"She's running a temperature," Sam says. "What was she doing when she "just fell"?"

"I…I kissed her," the boy stammers.

"You kissed her?" I demand.

"It's her birthday, all right?" the boy looks suitably terrified, "Look, I'm telling you! The light just exploded, and she just…passed out! That's what happened!"

"I want to get her to the infirmary," I say.

"I'll call Janet," I tell her.

* * *

Sam

"How's she doing?" the Colonel says asks as I stare at the sleeping Cassie.

I turn to face him, "Her fever still hasn't come down."

Dr. Fraiser walks in, "Sam? I need to get a sample of your blood. Cassandra's blood work shows the presence of a retrovirus."

"Didn't she just get over the flu?" Jack asks me nervously.

"Well, whatever this is it isn't the flu," Janet says.

"You think there's a causal relationship between the retrovirus and the EM field?" I ask.

"Possibly," Fraiser says in the tone which implies we've journeyed into the territory she knows nothing about.

"What?" Jack asks me.

"Cassandra's body is somehow generating a low level electromagnetic field that's periodically spiking. That could be why the light exploded on the porch," I explain.

Jack's eyebrows shot up. Fraise rays, "And why I can't do an MRI to find out what other effects this retrovirus is having."

Cassie wakes up, but she looks out of it, "Mom?" she asks.

"I'm here," I assure her.

"I couldn't finish the harvest" she says.

"That's OK."

"I have to go into the forest," she insists.

"It's OK, Cassie," I assure her. I hope it really is going to be all right.

* * *

The rest of SG-1 went back to Hanka to see if they could find a cure to what Cassie has. I have been sitting by her bed. I didn't mean to fall asleep. I don't know why I've been needing so much sleep lately. I wake up, and look over at Cassie's empty bed.

"Cassie?" I ask in panic. I run down the hall to see her walking down the infirmary. Standing up so quickly made the blood rush to my head, and for a second I feel like I'm going to pass out. That is just what I need after the whole Orlin incident, another excuse for people to look at me as week. "Cassandra? What are you doing?!"

"I have to go…" she can barely mutter.

"Cassie, you're not well enough to go anywhere!" I say trying to grab her arm. Cassie pulls away from me, "I have to go into the forest!"

"I need you to get back in bed, OK?" I comfort.

Cassie snarls at me "You're not my mother!"

It stings more than it should. What the hell is wrong with me? "Okay, but I love you. More an anything, don't you know what you mean to me?"

"No! Leave me alone!" she shouts at me throwing me against the wall.

Cassie runs toward the elevator. Two airmen grab her, and start to take her back to the elevator. She pleads in a truly pitiful voice that breaks my heart, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Let me go, let me go, let me go!"

I start crying. "I can't do that!"

"You're killing me!" she screams. Lights go off like bomb behind me.

* * *

Janet

"Sam," I say. "I got your test results back, and I want to talk to you about them.

Her face goes pale, and she follows me into her office, "I have the retrovirus to don't I? I knew it, I've been feeling tired, and emotional. Granted with Cassie it's been anger, with me it's been sadness, but still."

I grin, "Sam, there is more than one thing that can cause tiredness and moodiness."

"So I don't have the retrovirus?" she asks.

"No," I assure her, "Any nausea?"

"No," she says.

Ok, I'm going to have to spell this out for her, "Sam you're pregnant."

Shock, and then a smile. But it's a little bit of a sad smile, "I didn't think he could have children."

"Who, Sam?" I ask hoping she isn't going to tell me if this is something I'll be obligated to report.

"Orlin."

My eyebrows shot up, "The father of your child is an ascended being?"

"I think it was after he took corporal form."

"You think?" I exclaim.

"I doubt it's possible for an ascended being to have a baby with a human. But I didn't think a corporal ascended being could have a baby either, so what the hell do I know?" she mutters.

"Sam," I suddenly realize, "he's dead."

"Yeah," she says fidgeting a little, "The babies ok? I mean I don't know what kind of genes it got or anything, but it's ok?"

"As far as I know. I'd like to do an ultrasound, but it would be fine to wait until after this calms down," I say indicating the room where Cassie lays unconscious.

"Yeah, I'm about…five weeks," she nods, "so, can you hold off reporting this until Cassie's better?"

I nod, "as long as you don't go off world."

"Thanks."

"Sam, if you need anything I'm here for you," I say patting her hand.

"Thanks Janet," I say.

* * *

Sam

Cassie must be feeling better. At the very least she is sitting up. I come in carrying a chess set. Cassie isn't paying attention to me.

"Hey, Kiddo. It's Saturday."

"So?" she mutters

I start setting up a chess game, "So, every Saturday, at least while I'm on Earth, we play chess. And since I'm on Earth, and it's Saturday…"

"I know what's happening to me."

"Oh, OK…What?"

"I'm changing…into something…and there's nothing you can do to stop it."

"Hmm…you know how your mom feels when someone issues a challenge like that."

"You aren't my real mother. She died! When Nirrti poisoned my village."

"I know that."

"That doesn't…change…anything."

"You're wrong about that," I say firmly.

"It's different. I'm…different now. I can do things…" she holds out her hand and a knight flies from the chest board into my hand.

"How did you do that?" I ask in shock.

"I just…thought it. I thought I wanted a knight, and it…flew into my hand. Jack calls 'em horses."

I smile at that, "Yeah, well, that's Colonel O'Neill for you."

"He always pretends he's not as smart as he really is," Cassie says. Not everyone figures that out.  
"You know, if you take a close look, they really are horses," I say. Jack looks at the world differently than other people. The Colonel does, I correct myself. Sometimes, when we are with the kids I start referring to him informally, I have to correct myself.

"What do you see when you look at me now?" Cassie says directly.

"I see you…and until your head starts spinning around, and probably even then, I will still see…you." I say stroking her hair as I start to set up the chest game.

* * *

Jack

"How could she move things with her mind?" Hammond asks.

"Magnets. Magnets. Every one of those pieces has got a little tiny magnet at the bottom to…hold it on the board like when you're driving so they don't rattle off…anyway…every one of those magnets has a little electrical field around it. That's how she was able to manipulate it. Magnets," I say. One of the games I play to keep myself entertained is to say magnets every time it's part of the correct answer. "They do look like…horses," I say in an effort to further the dumb act that Carter has been trying to blow for me.

"I have no idea how she was able to do it physiologically, Sir," Doctor Fraiser says.

"Actually, Teal'c filled me in on something that might explain that. Hok'Tar is actually a hybrid of two Goa'uld words…Hok, which means advanced, and Tar which I believe is a sort of slang…" Daniel says.

I wait patiently, ok, not patiently for a few seconds before I prompt him with, "For…?"

"Human," Teal'c supplies.

"So, essentially, it's an advanced human…Hok' Tau'ri. Anyway, Nirrti was studying the children of Hanka because she believed they were evolving into…Hok'Tar," Daniel adds.

"So, you're saying Cassandra is becoming some form of advanced human?" Hammond asks.

"And the retrovirus is the catalyst," Fraiser explains. Daniel nods.

"Such an advanced human will represent a powerful host for the Goa'uld." Teal'c says.

"Which explains why Nirrti was performing the experiments," Sam says looking, misty eyed? I mean, I know this whole thing with Cassie has been hard on her. Her daughter's life is at risk. But Sam's nearly in tears at a briefing?

"And it also explains why she exterminated the entire population when we came on the scene. She didn't want her…experiment exposed," Daniel says.

"Prior to our arrival on P8X-987, and for as long as SG-7 was there, none of the villagers exhibited advanced intelligence or the ability to manipulate EM fields," Fraiser protests.

"So, Nirrti created the retrovirus in an attempt to engineer her own host?" Carter says concerned.

"It seems almost inconceivable that anybody could do something like that," Fraiser says.

"Well, it never worked. According to all the reports, the children went into the forest sick, and came out well again. If this were some sort of…transformation or evolutionary process, somewhere along the line, it was stopped," Daniel says.

"By Nirrti," Teal'c says gravely.

"Why would she do that?" Carter asks, calmed slightly, but still with an uncharacteristic amount of emotion.

"The retrovirus rewrites DNA. If the carrier died before they were able to pass on the altered genes to the next generation, evolution couldn't take place," Fraiser says.

"So the experiment was long-term?" Sam asks uncertainly.

"With each generation getting closer to truly becoming Hok'Tar," Teal'c says.

"The question is how far along is Cassandra? I mean, what if she really is transforming into…something…else?" Daniel asks.

"She thinks so," she says critically.

"Whatever she believes, her fever is still rising. Admittedly more slowly, and she seems to be able to handle it better but…I can't control it." Fraiser says, giving Sam's had a sympathetic pat.

"Let's find the answers…dismissed!" Hammond says.

"Carter," I say as we walk down the hall. "You ok?"

"Fine," she says with a weak kind of smile.

"You know it would be ok if you weren't. Your daughter is sick, you don't need to have the emotions of a Jaffa about it."

"Yeah, I have been a little emotional," she says.

"You don't…this thing doesn't spread does it?" I ask my concern suddenly turning to panic.

"No, Janet checked me out, I don't have the virus," she says.

"Ok, good, if you need to talk…" I say.

"We'll have a nice long conversation when this is all said and done, ok Sir?" she asks. I give her a head nod.

* * *

Sam

Cassie is spinning the knight with her mind. "Cassie? What are you doing?"

"It helps…to do this," she says.

"How?"

"It's almost like…the heat is leaving my body, and going into the chess piece. You haven't got a cure, have you?"

"No. We're still trying…"

"It's all right!" she practically screams.

"No, it's not. We may still learn something from the bio samples that SG-1 brought back. There might be something there that'll help your body produce some antibodies."

"I want this to happen, Mom."

"Don't say that," I whisper.

"It's going to happen anyway."

"You're sick, you don't know what you are saying."

"You know that it's more than that now. I can feel a power inside me. It's only the beginning," she says. I hate the fact that she honestly thinks she wants this to happen.

"And along with it, your body is undergoing an enormous physical strain."

"You think it's gonna kill me?" she asks concerned.

"Janet is worried about that possibility, yes."

"I don't care!" she shouts.

"Well, you should!" I say trying not to start crying. Damn hormones.

"Maybe I'm not human anymore."

"Of course you are."

"Maybe dying is part of the transformation."

"Cassie! Stop this!" I shout in frustration. The knight falls down to the table as Cassie looks at me.

* * *

Janet

"That can't be right. The EM field must be interfering," Sam protests staring at the EEG. I'm glad that she has some medical training along with pretty much every other field known to man. I wanted someone else to tell me I wasn't crazy.

"No, she'll be able to control that now. I ran the test three times, the result are consistent and it corresponds with the EEG. There's a 25% higher level of activity than normal," I tell her.

"How can her body sustain that?" Sam asks concerned.

"Well, she's found a way to channel the heat from her body. Don't ask me how, but I don't know how long she'll be able to keep it up. What I'd like her to do is sleep. She's been awake for 30 hours straight. If you could get her to sleep that would be good."

* * *

Sam

"You wouldn't leave," Cassie says. She wants me to go?

"When the Goa'uld planted the bomb inside me…you wouldn't leave." Oh. "Even though your orders were to leave me there alone. You stayed with me."

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I don't know…just an instinct."

"That I was gonna be OK?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"But you didn't know for sure."

"No," I admit to her something I've never admitted to anyone else.

"Well, … that's how I feel about what's happening to me now. Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I think I do. You want me to stay with you for a while?"

"No, it's not time yet," she says looking away.

"Don't say that. It's not going to be time. You are going to be fine."

"Ok, but if it is…time…will you be here?"

I can give her that, "I promise."

"I think I can sleep now…for a little while," she says.

"OK." As much as I hate it I realize I'm probably going to need sleep as well. I'm not just sleeping for myself anymore. Cassie closes her eyes. I give her a kiss on her forehead and get up to leave.

* * *

Jack

I hear Cassie's scream and run into her room as quickly as I can.

"Apparently, there's a Goa'uld on base, Sir," Sam informs Hammond and the rest of SG-1 that have just entered the room.

"What?!" I exclaim at the same time Hammond says, "How's that possible?"

"Nirrti possesses the technology to become invisible," Teal'c reminds us.

"Cronos is dead. He's the system lord that was holding her prisoner," Daniel provides.

"So she's out!" I say in dismay.

"Go level by level, check everything…keep in radio contact. If you locate her, do not shoot to kill. Colonel?" Hammond commands.

"Staying here, Sir," I nod as everyone else files out of the room, "I figured, you fought her off the first time. I'm safer here with you," I say grinning.

"She was here the whole time you've been back," Cassie says looking terrified.

"We'll find her," I assure Cassie.

"She wanted to know if her experiment worked," Cassie says absently. "No. If, if the transformation were to kill me, she would have just let it happen. Don't you see? Look out!" she suddenly shouts. I point my zat at the window. The glass shatters all over the room. The airman who has those funky anti-invisible guns points it at her. As soon as I can see her I zat her. She falls to the ground.

"Easy! We need her alive." I remind them. Just then Cassie starts to have a seizure. No, damn it. We finally have a chance to help her.

* * *

Hammond

Jack and I walk into Nirrti's cell. She just regained consciousness, and we have to figure out a way to make her save Cassie. This is my first time negotiating with the enemy like this. it's the sort of thing that tests one's moral fiber, and I don't know what side I'm going to come out on.

"What's gonna happen to Cassandra?" Jack asks.

"What is her condition?" Nirrti asks with a sick fascination.

"She's just lost consciousness," he tells her.

"Then the end is very near," Nirrti says sounding pleased with herself.

"If she dies…so do you," Jack threatens.

"And what do you offer in return?"

"I don't think you're in any position to bargain," I say.

"I am in the position to save the life of a child that you hold dear. Release me," she demands.

"We can't do that," I say.

"General?" O'Neill says in a voice you couldn't call anything, but pleading.

"With my invisibility device intact," she says clearly thinking Jack's emotions give her the upper hand."I also require a sample of her blood," she continues.

"Absolutely not!" I say.

"Those are my terms," she replies firmly.

* * *

"General, with all due respect, It's not like we're negotiating with terrorists," Jack says.

"It's exactly that, Colonel. You're letting your emotions get in the way," I tell him.

"Yes, I am. Shouldn't you be?"

I'm not sure he isn't wrong, "Jack…"

"Sir, up until yesterday, we didn't even know Nirrti was still alive," Sam points out.

"Exactly," Jack says sitting down next to Sam, "Now who cares if we let her go. What difference does it make in the grand scheme of things if there's one more Goa'uld running around?"

"If we were to allow Nirrti to leave with a sample of Cassandra's blood, She could well succeed in her experiment to create a genetically advanced host, and become dangerously powerful!" I point out.

"I am in agreement with GeneralHammond," Teal'c offers.

"What?" Jack asks sounding offended.

"The life of a child may be sacrificed, but Nirrti possesses valuable information that would be lost if we allowed her to leave," Teal'c says. Jack shakes his head in disbelief.

"Teal'c, we're talking about Cassandra," Sam points out.

"Of that I am aware. But her sacrifice would benefit both of our peoples. Nirrti possesses valuable information that would help us defeat the Goa'uld," Teal'c says. He's talking about Sammy's little girl. Talking about her in that cold distant way right in front of her mother.

"We'll find another way," Daniel says.

"We may never have a Goa'uld as our prisoner again," I say weekly, although I'm already coming over to their side.

"Sir, I don't have to remind you of what Cassandra has gone through because of the Goa'uld. Now, if we're gonna put what we MAY learn or what MIGHT happen over her life…" Sam says.

"It's time to "Pack it in"," Jack finishes.

"I agree," Daniel says.

* * *

Sam

I know what I'm doing could be a court martialble offense. I could probably blame the pregnancy hormones, but I know I'd be doing it anyway. It's Cassie's best chance at life, and it doesn't look like Hammond is going to do anything.

I hold the gun evenly on Nirrti even as the rest of my team and Hammond join the Airman with a gun on me in the room

"Sam, stand down," Hammond says gently.

"I can't do that, Sir. I don't have a choice."

"You'all have already convinced me to make a deal for Cassandra's life. This isn't necessary."

"Then you agree to my terms?" Nirrti asks.

"Just one…once you've cured Cassandra of her illness, you'll be free to go," Hammond says.

"And how do I know you will honor this?" Nirrti challenges.

"You have only my word," Hammond assures them.

"Not enough," she nears.

Hammond gives me a glance, and then says, "Then I shall remind you that the woman holding the gun on you is Cassandra's mother."

* * *

Janet

Cassie is coding. I debate whether I get her a little more stable before I let Nirrti try to heal her, but she starts using her devices.

"You have waited too long," Nirrti says.

"You try again," I say angrily. She works for awhile, and then Cassie starts coughing. She seems desperate to get her mask off.

"It is done," Nirrti proclaims.

"Vital signs are all returning to normal," I assure Sam.

"Mom?" Cassie asks.

"It's OK," Sam says almost in tears again, "I'm here."

"I have honored my part," Nirrti says.

"Let's go to the Gate," Jack says.

* * *

Cassie

"Hey, Janet! How's our patient?" Mom asks cheerfully.

"Bored," I tell her as Mom sits on the end of my bed.

"She's just fine. You get to take her home tonight."

"Uuhh…Dominic awaits," Mom teases.

"Stop it," I protest.

"Uh come on, that last kiss was impressive," she continues unphased.

"Stop it!" I say. Mom is enjoying this way too much.

"Lights exploded overhead!"

"Stop it!" I try again, and she laughs. "Come on, It's Saturday," Mom says getting out the chess pieces.

"OK. But…I won't be able to move the pieces around just by thinking about it…sorry," I say with a smirk.

"Good. Then we're even," she says. When Janet leaves the room, Mom's face grows serious. "Cassie, I've got to tell you something.

"Uh oh, more bad news?" I ask.

"Well, I think it's good news, I don't know how you are going to take it," she says.

"Mom, just tell me what's going on," I say. She's making me really nervous.

"Cassie, I'm going to have a baby," she says.

"What?" I say smiling.

"Yeah, you're going to have a sibling."

"That's great mom, but whose is it?" My mom hasn't dated anyone since… "Orlin?" She nods, "You're having a baby with an ascended alien creature?"

"Yeah," she says, and she's blushing.

"So that whole thing about he's just staying with us because of housing concerns was a load of…" I stop, mom would be the kind to ground me for saying a swear word, even when we're having a discussion about her extramarital pregnancy.

"Not at first, Cassie," she lets out a big sigh, "I'm not a very good example. And I don't know what to say to be a better one, except…I'm having a baby with a guy who isn't going to be around. I'd love to say I regret it, but I don't regret your sibling's existence. The truth is, I wanted another kid. I'm not sure what this part ascended status means for it, and I wish this baby was being born to two parents. I made a mistake, Cassie, don't imitate me."

"You're a great mom, the kid is lucky," I say offering her a smile.

"Thanks," she says.

"But it better be a sister," I add causing her to grin again.

* * *

Jack

"Colonel," Carter says running after me down the hall, "Can I speak to you in private, Sir?" she asks looking nervous.

"Of course," I say gesturing her into the office I pretend I don't have.

"Sir," she says taking a deep breath, "I'm pregnant." That was so not what I was expecting.

"Congratulations," I sputter in surprise.

"I just, wanted to let you know. I'm not going to be going through the gate for awhile. I'm going to tell Hammond next."

"Right, he'll set you up, maternity stand down, light duty, lab work." God, I'm rambling. "Sam, I want to ask you a question as a friend, not as your commanding officer.

She nods.

"Cassie like the dad?" I say not looking at her. It's not quite the question I wanted to ask, but it's the best I can manage right now. I feel too weird asking her who her baby's father is.

"She did, Sir," Sam mutters.

"Did?" I ask concerned.

"Orlin."

Orlin? "So he's not exactly around anymore."

"No, he died saving me and two others," Sam says pointedly.

"Right, so…this is a question I shouldn't ask even as a friend, but…this was after he took on a body right?"

"I think so." It's official, I now know a hell of a lot more about Carter's sex life than I ever wanted to.

"Think?"

"Well, this is pretty unfamiliar territory. I'm not exactly sure what is possible, and what is not possible."

"And you're a little scared."

"Well, yeah, I'm having a baby with someone who isn't exactly human."

"Without the non-human father."

"I've done the single parent thing before."

"By choice, this is a little different," I say, "Sam, I…I'd love to help you out. I mean, like what I did with Cassie. But…if you wanted, more…like doctor's appointments whatever," I say awkwardly.

"Thanks Sir, but that won't be necessary."

"I don't think I said that right, Carter, I want to…"

She cuts me off, "Sir, after the Zatarc, and Broca virus…Sir, if you go to doctor's appointments there are going to be rumors," she mutters.

"Right," I said embarrassed.

"Bring you a picture?" she offers with a smile.

"I'd like that, Sam," I say.

"Thanks sir."

"I'd also be willing to try to contact Orlin. Go to the planet, scream at the sky like a psychopath. I mean it probably won't accomplish anything, but wouldn't hurt to try."

"No, he deserves that. Thank you, Sir," she says as she leaves the room.

And I find myself wishing her baby was mine.

* * *

Hammond

Sammy walks into my office. "How is Cassie?" I ask her.

"Good, I get to take her home today, General, I request being moved off SG-1 and work on research for awhile."

I examine her closely. I know this situation had her shaken up, but Sam has never been the kind to make rash decisions. "Major…"

"I'm sorry Sir, I didn't start at the right place," she stammers, "I'm requesting maternity stand down."

"Maternity?" I repeat.

"I just found out I'm pregnant," she offers. She can tell what question I want to/don't want to ask, "Orlin is the father.."

"Orlin?" I ask.

"Yeah."

"I'll put the paperwork through. You'll have a full time science position. SG-1 will be waiting for you if you want it when you come back," I offer.

She nods her head.

"Ok, Major, congratulations."

"Thank you sir, I have a couple of requests. Colonel O'Neill volunteered to try to get word through to Orlin. It's probably a long shot, but he deserves having me try. And I'd like to send a message to my father, telling him to drop by earth when he can."

"No problem, Major."

"Thanks," and she pauses. I'm almost sure she's going to say George, but it comes out as "General."


	19. Desperate Measures

Jack

I see Cassie's number on the phone. "Jack, Mom didn't pick me up after art class," Cassie says nervously.

"She had the day off today," I say.

"I know. That's what really worries me. I mean if she was just late when she was working I'd assume she just got caught up in something. But on a day off? She was going to go to the gym after she dropped me off. She wouldn't have found something distracting enough to forget me. Plus she's not answering her phone calls."

"I'll be there in a little bit, Cass," I assure her.

"Actually, I'd prefer you go look for her. I found a ride home with a friend."

"That friend being Dominic?" I ask.

"Yeah, look I'll call you when I get to the house."

"We'll find her," I assure Cassie, but the truth is I'm pretty nervous about my missing four months pregnant former second in command.

* * *

Jack

Sam wasn't at home when Cassie got there.

"Police found Sam's car in a parking lot at some fitness club twelve blocks from her house," Daniel informs us.

"Anything else?" I ask.

"No witnesses," Daniel adds.

"We have no jurisdiction outside this facility, Colonel," the General warns.

"I know. We can still look, can't we?"

* * *

Sam

"Good morning, Major," a man says.

"What's going on? Where am I?" I ask in concern.

"In a hospital," a man replies.

"What happened?" I ask.

"We just need to run a few tests."

They are full of crap. No hospital operates like this, "What tests? Why am I restrained? Stop! NO!" I say trying to struggle out of the restraints. "You have to stop!" I shout as they come near me with a needle full of God knows what, "I'm pregnant," I plead, even though I'm pretty sure I don't actually want the sadistic bastards to know that.

* * *

Jack

There is a man dressed in ragged clothing with a shopping cart full of crap. He'll probably be a good source of information.

"Feet, I said. Look at his feet. Huge. Never trust a man with feet that big," he mutters.

"Hi, there," I greet.

"Go away. This is my stuff," he says paranoid.

"I just want to ask you a couple of questions."

"Got a dollar?"

"Here's two," I offer.

"Thanks."

"Were you around here Sunday morning?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"I gave you two dollars."

"I thought you were just being generous."

"How generous do I have to get?"

"You a cop?" he asks nervously.

"Air force. Colonel Jack O'Neill."

"I was in 'Nam." He says excitedly.

"Yeah, what company?" You hear about veterans ending up on the street. I hate that whole idea. I think about the people I served with in 'Nam ending up like this, and I can't stomach the idea.

"Vacation. Long time ago," he says absently.

"Um, a friend of mine disappeared from around here on Sunday morning. Woman, about 5-9ish, blonde, pregnant." I add the last one even though Sam isn't really showing. Might help me with sympathy points if nothing else.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," he says coolly.

"Why not?" I say trustingly.

"Well, I'm just a crazy old guy with a shopping cart full of cans."

I shrug, people are people, "I'm just a cynical old Air Force guy with a closet full of National Geographic."

He perks up at that, "Can I have 'em?"

I'd call him weird, but after all I was the one who started the collection, he just wants it. "What do you know?"

"She was feisty, put up a fight." Of course, she did, she's Carter.

"With who?"

"Ninjas. Three, maybe four. Happened fast. They pulled up in a white van, grabbed her. I've been telling the police about ninjas for years. Think they listen?"

"Right. Okay. Thanks."

"You're gonna bring me them magazines, right?" he asks hopefully as I start to lead.

"You bet."

* * *

"Hi, Jack. Don't turn around," Maybourne's voice says. I hate that this whole business made me contact him. I turn around anyway.

"Harry, where ya been? You never write. You don't call," I say sarcastically.

"I have a gun."

"So do I."

"I'm just trying to protect you. I'm a wanted criminal. It's your duty to arrest me and all."

"Always thinking of the other guy." I say snidely, "How'd you find me?"

"Played a lot of hide and seek as a kid. Funny, I could always find anyone anywhere but they could never find me."

"Because they didn't want to."

"What do you need Jack?"

"Carter's missing."

"Really?" His surprise looks genuine. That means he probably wasn't involved.

"Bunch of guys in a van took her out of this lot about four days ago. Figured it might be some of your old friends."

"Not the word I'd use for them."

"What do you know?"

"Sorry."

"You didn't come back into this country and risk execution just to see me."

"God knows I could think of a hundred reasons why the NID might want Major Carter. But I swear to you I don't know where she is or why she was taken. Why don't you ask the NID?"

"Gee thanks. Hadn't thought of that."

"Try user 4575."

"What does that mean?"

"Wish I could stay and chat."

"Harry. We're talking about Carter here," I let out a sigh, "Harry she's pregnant."

"Yours?" he asks somewhat nonplussed.

"No Maybourne," I snarl.

"The father is from earth?" he asks.

"Of course," I say hoping my poker face is good. They don't need any more information. It's possible they just took her because of her history. It could be that they don't know about the baby.

* * *

Sam

Who are they? What have they done to me? Definitely drugs. Hopefully they are all safe for the baby. Hopefully they are just after me and not the baby. Although honestly, that isn't going to make it a whole lot safer for the baby. I slowly work on filing off the restraint straps. Someone comes in and I stop filing.

"Hello again, Major Carter. If you don't mind, I'd like to ask you a few questions. I don't know if I mentioned what a thrill this is for me. I mean, I wish we didn't have to do it under these conditions, but given the circumstances… You're a very unique individual. You may well hold the key to the future of medical science," the person who may or may not be a doctor says.

"You made a big mistake," I tell him.

"We know what happened to you. We know that you were the host of an alien symbiote."

"I'm a physicist. I study deep space radar telemetry."

"Please, Major. Don't waste my time with that ridiculous cover story. Tell me what you can about the symbiote."

"Is my baby ok?" I ask.

"Whose baby is it?" they ask.

I don't answer.

"What; an alien? Your commanding officer? Whose?"

I don't say a word.

"Who are you trying to protect?"

* * *

Jack

That smarmy Maybourne lied to me. He had a whole bunch of money transferred to an account. He was in on it. I got the jump on him in the parking lot, and hopefully now I'm going to start getting answers.

"Technically, I didn't lie. I said I didn't know where Carter was or why she was taken.  
"What was the three million dollars for?"

"I acquired a piece of merchandise from the Russians and sold it to Zetatron."

"What?"

"A symbiote." My stomach sinks. Oh God, they're going to put a Goa'uld in Carter? And if they do? Will she lose the baby? Sha're said if they Goa'uld took control when she was pregnant it would cause her to go into labor. If Sam has the baby now…there is no way it will make it.

"What?!" I practically scream.

"On their second mission, back when their gate was active, the Russians ran into a group of Jaffa."

"I read that report."

"What the report didn't say was the Russians managed to take one of the Jaffa alive and held him in custody ever since."

"Man, you gotta love those guys."

"The Russians or the Jaffa?"

"Both, actually."

"Apparently, the symbiote was reaching maturity. I don't know what the Russians had planned. I assume Zetatron wanted it for their biotech division."

"So why kidnap Carter?"

"Carter once had a symbiote inside her and lived to tell about it." This sounds like good news. If they are only after her for what happened with Jolinar they might not want to put the symbiote in her. They might not want to hurt the baby.

"How did they know that?"

"I don't know. I also don't know how they found out about me and my connections, but when people offer three million dollars, you don't ask any questions."

"Why not?"

"Believe me, Jack, I never thought it was going to come to this."

"What did you think was gonna happen?" I snap. I mean the guy's actions could easily result in a Goa'uld being released on the world.

"Well, in the right hands, a symbiote could lead to all kinds of medical breakthroughs."

"What, you're a humanitarian now?"

"Gonna turn me in?"

"Actually, that overwhelming desire to shoot you has come back." And if anything happens to Carter or her baby I will.

"But you still need me, Jack."

"Why?"

"Because I know the name of the doctor who took delivery of the symbiote."

* * *

Sam

I'm free. I know I don't have much time. I knock out a guard and get a gun. I run through the halls, but every door I have found is chained up and padlocked shut.

"The exits are sealed, Major," a voice says. I turn my gun toward the voice to see a very sick looking man in a wheelchair.

"Who are you? What the hell am I doing here?"

"My name is Adrian Conrad. You're here because of me," shit now he has a whole bunch of back up.

"Back off or I shoot him," I inform them.

"Go ahead. If I let you go, I'm dead anyway. Please Major Carter, if you put the gun down, there's a very good chance we could both live," I reluctantly lower my gun.

* * *

They're being more careful with me this time. They lock me to the hospital bed with handcuffs. Conrad rolls in coughing hard. It's kind of hard not to feel sorry for the guy. If things were different, I'd want to talk someone into offering him a Tok'ra. But kidnapping me sort of burns some bridges in that regard.

"Sorry about this, Major, but I've run out of options," Conrad says.

"What now?" I ask.

"My immune system's been destroyed. The damage is irreversible," he informs me.

Again, I'd be a lot more sympathetic to someone who wasn't putting my baby in danger.

"I don't care what's wrong with you. Nothing gives you the right…"

"The human race has progressed to where we are today because of men who broke rules and risked everything most often because they had no choice. The only thing that can save me is an alien symbiote. You call them Goa'uld."

"How do you know about that?" I ask.

"We know about the Stargate. Everything."

"Well, then you must also know that a symbiote would leave you a prisoner inside your own body," I inform him.

"That's why we're working on a way to have it removed," one of my captors said.

"And you're the key to that," another says.

"It's beyond our current medical science," I inform him.

"You survived your encounter with the alien Jolinar," one of the captors points out.

"That was different. The symbiote made a conscious choice," I say.

"Maybe so, but the process you went through could provide us with the answers we're looking for."

"You can't deny being able to extract a symbiote from a human host would be a monumental breakthrough."

"A lot of very smart people have been working toward that end already." People a hell of a lot smarter than you, I add in my head.

"Maybe they aren't quite desperate enough."

He coughs hard enough to earn a little more sympathy from me, and a wheel out of the room.

"Did anything you gave me affect the baby?" I ask one of the doctors who remains.

"No, but about that baby, it has extraordinary properties. It's DNA is amazing."

"You did an amniocentesis?" I ask. I wouldn't let Janet do that, because of the risk of miscarriage. I was going to be patient and wait until my baby was born to know the DNA.

"Who's the father?"

"What unique properties? Is it ok?"

"You tell me, I'll tell you," he responds. I wouldn't put my kid at risk. I think it'll be fine.

* * *

The doctor comes at me with a syringe, "You're going to kill me! Please, for the baby!" I plead.

"You could be saving millions of lives," the doctor says coolly.

The Colonel and Maybourne burst into the room, pointing their guns at my captors, "Hold it, Doc. Drop it right now. Don't even fool around. Put it down."

"Come over here and face the wall," Maybourne adds.

"You all right?" the Colonel asks.

"Yes. Very dramatic. Thank you," I say sincerely.

"You bet. The baby ok?" he asks looking down at my still flat stomach.

"I think so. Keys for the cuffs are in his pocket."

Maybourne fishes through for the keys. He tosses them to the Colonel who unlocks me.

"Daniel, we got Carter. She's okay," Jack says into the radio, and it's true right? I'm ok.

* * *

"Man down. Colonel O'Neill's been shot. This is Major Carter. I'm in the boiler room. Repeat. Colonel O'Neill has been shot. We need an ambulance now," I shout. My God! The Colonel's been shot. Shot saving me.

"Uh!"

"Sir, are you okay?" I ask. One bullet in his arm, but the one in his back got stuck in his vest, so I think he's going to be fine.

"I've been shot, Carter."

"I know. Your vest shopped one of the bullets."

"I want sleeves on my vest."

He made a joke, everything is going to be ok, "You're going to be fine. Help's on the way."

"I'm not kidding. They should put sleeves on these things."

"Did you see who shot you?"

"No."

"Hang in there sir."

* * *

Janet

"How is Jack?" Sam asks.

"Don't you want to know how you are first?" I ask with a smile.

"The baby?" she asks.

"Jack is fine, we got the bullet out. He'll be back to his usual contagious self in a few days. You baby looks just fine, Sam. And the drugs have run out of your system. You're going to be just fine." She relaxes against her bed. "Sam, I also got my hands on the amniocentesis."

She looks at me, scared.

I take a deep breath; I don't even know what I'm telling her, "I don't know what it means, Sam. I've never seen a genome like this before." She looks at me, "There are some genes where we know of two variations. Every person on earth has one of those two, and this baby had a third variation."

"So it's not human," she says sounding hurt.

"Oh no, I wouldn't go that far. But he has very unique DNA."

"He?"

"You don't miss much. I didn't ask if you wanted to know your babies sex."

"But I do," she smiles.

"Sorry," I say.

"That's ok, Janet. I wanted to know. Thought I'd have to wait another month to find out," she says with a smile. Then her face goes grave, "What do the unique genes mean?"

"I don't know," I say. She looks worried, "Sam, half that baby's genes are yours. And the other half…Orlin was a good person right? So his kid will be good as well."

She nods putting her hands protectively over her stomach.

* * *

Jacob

"Hi George," I greet.

"Is the world ending, Jacob or is this a social visit?" George asks.

"Just answering the call my daughter gave me," I say.

"That was three months ago. She'll be glad to see you Jacob. She's in the infirmary." I give him a quick frightened look, "She's fine Jacob. I'm pretty sure she's fine." He amends.

* * *

"Sam," I say.

"Dad," she says, and she looks a little sad I think.

"You ok?" I say glancing at the doctor, "I'm not keeping you from anything am I?"

"No, we were done," Janet says.

"I just want to check on the Colonel, and then we can get off base Dad. How long are you on base for?" she asks.

"Through Christmas, what's wrong with Jack?"

"He was shot."

"He was shot!" I exclaim.

"He's fine dad. Shot in the arm."

"Don't scare me like that Sam!" I exclaim.

* * *

"Jacob!" Jack says. "How'd he take the news?"

I look at my daughter with the face I used to use when she lied to me about where she was going.

"The news I haven't told him yet?" Sam asks.

"Oops!" Jack exclaims.

"What news?" I demand.

"We'll go out to eat, and I'll tell you," Sam smiles. "Are you ok, Colonel?"

"I'd be better if I could shoot Maybourne back," he grumbles.

"Sir, we don't know it was Maybourne."

* * *

Sam

"So, Sam what's going on?" Dad asks as we sit down at the restaurant.

I'm suddenly nauseous again, and it's been weeks since I've had morning sickness. "Dad I'm going to have a baby."

He just looks at me, and doesn't say a word.

"I'm four months along. I sent the message as soon as I found out," I offer.

He still doesn't say a word. The silence is killing me. I expected him to ask who the father was, and I would reluctantly tell him. I wasn't planning on volunteering the information. But eventually I can't take the silence anymore.

"Have Tok'ra run into ascended beings?" I ask. He gives me nothing, "Well, a few months ago an ascended being that had been left on a planet by himself for hundreds of years followed me home."

He is giving me the patient look of disbelief.

"His name was Orlin."

"Was?" he asks after a bit more silence.

"He died protecting me," I say.

Dad is still silent.

"Dad, I know this isn't perfect. But it is what it is," I say nervously.

He gets up. God he's just going to walk out now. Probably head back to the Tok'ra and Cassie won't see her Grandpa for Christmas. I'm trying really hard not to cry.

He's in the seat next to me, and he's holding me, "I love you Sammy."

"W-w-what?" I stammer.

He laughs, "You seem surprised. I know I've told you that before," he says surprised.

"You're not mad?" I ask.

"Of course, I'm mad, but the object of my anger appears to be dead. Now you said the father was an ascended being? I've never heard of an ascended being and a human having a kid."

"Well, I think I got pregnant after he took corporeal form."

"You think?" he exclaims.

"Janet just looked at the amniocentesis and there were some pretty crazy genes in there."

"I'd like to take a look at it sometime, see if Selmak knows anything Dr. Fraiser doesn't."

"I'd appreciate that Dad."

"So you were in the infirmary for a check-up? It scared the crap out of me when George told me that's where you were."

"Actually Dad, I was kidnapped. I was leaving the gym, and I got thrown into a van by eight guys. They…" he puts his arm around me, and looks totally panicked. Oh, God, not what he's thinking, "They wanted to do experiments, because of my time as Jolinar. I was so scared they'd do something to hurt the baby. Jack got shot when he was getting me out of there."

"I'm so sorry, but you and the baby are ok?" I nod, and he gives my shoulder another squeeze as he goes back to his side of the table. "So Cassie's ok?" he asks. I nod. "Of course, this means I'll have to cook Christmas dinner. Pregnant woman get to relax on holidays."

I roll my eyes.

"Hey, I didn't make the rule."

"Oh really? Then who did?" I ask.

"Your mother."


	20. Another Christmas

AN: Some people were confused about names. Jack's mom calls him Jon, because she named him Jonathan, so she must like the name right? So, Jack and Jon in this story ARE THE SAME PERSON. Hope that clears it up.

Jacob

This is what Christmas used be like when the kids were little, back before Alexandria died. We'd decorate everything, and have relatives and friends pounding on the door all night. It wasn't like that after Alexandria left. The house got quiet. The Christmas cookies came out of a tube, and no one tried. No one wanted to try. I'm glad she found herself a good Christmas tradition.

The first knock on the door is my son Mark. We've reconciled, but the years between us still make things a little different. I don't know if we'll ever have what Sammy and I have.

"Come on in," I say patting him on the back. I give my grandkids Katie and Chris kisses on the forehead and my daughter-in-law a hug.

"Where is Sam?" he asks.

"Well, I was able with the aid of her best friend, a.k.a. a doctor, to convince her to take a quick nap before everyone came. I'm sure she'll be up before long," I say.

"Is she sick or something?" Mark asks. Oh my god, she hasn't told her brother yet! I brought them out here as a surprise, and I think I might have ruined Christmas.

"No, she's fine," I say with a big smile. "I'd better get back to the cooking," and to warn Janet and Jack, who came early and help cook tonot mention Sam's pregnancy. "Cassie! Come say hi to your cousins!" I call into the other room.

Cassie is sixteen now. Which means she's completely resentful of being on what she refers to as "little kid duty." Charlie is resentful of being called a little kid. His birth certificate says thirteen, although he's technically only a bit over three (we never did figure out how long he lived on Reetalia). His hair has grown in, and he looks pretty much like a strong normal kid, although he's still thin despite Meg's constant efforts to "fatten him up". Janet's adopted son is there too. We're not quite sure how old Loran is in human years, but he's somewhere between the other two as far as age goes.

They all come parading out to meet my grandkids. "Uh! More kids to watch!" Cassie groans.

Sam comes out of her bedroom with a yawn, "Remember what happened the last time you got mouthy young lady, and…" she stops. "Mark."

"I doubt you can rely on a retrovirus as your method of punishment, Mom," Cassie says. But her voice is more cheerful as she says, "Let's go see what toys I have left over from my infancy. Nine year old Katie is now offended, but it appears my six year old grandson's vocabulary doesn't appear to include that word.

"Hi, Mark," Sam offers smoothing down her hair.

"Surprise!" I offer.

"Right, I haven't talked to you in a while," she says to her brother, although the comment was obviously intended for me.

"Too long, I think," I say.

"You should talk," she grumbles.

"Well, I could."

"Potatoes need to be mashed," she says pushing me into the kitchen.

* * *

Meg

I enter the house at the same time as Daniel and family. Sha're is holding Shifu's hand, and he is straining against it with all his four-year-old-strength.

"Hey, buddy what are you so interested in getting to?" I ask.

"They have presents in there," he whispers conspiratorially.

"Yes, but you won't be able to open them for hours, and hours," I tell him. Which makes him burst into tears, and earns me an 'I'm going to kill you because I can't take it out on the kid I'm really frustrated with' look from a certain anthropologist.

"It's been a long day," Sha're offers as she goes to pick him up.

"Let me, I broke it, I'll fix it," I say picking him up and comforting the kid. Inside I'm introduced to Samantha's brother, and his family.

Sam pokes her head out of the kitchen, and I say, "Samantha, you're glowing," cheerfully.

She quickly says, "It's the heat of the kitchen. Why don't you come in here and help me for a second, Meg?" She pulls me into the kitchen.

"Mark doesn't know," she hisses.

"Doesn't know what?" I ask.

"About the baby," my son says rolling his eyes.

"You ought to tell him," I say. Jacob is laughing, but Sam doesn't find this funny.

"I will, just not at Christmas, ok?"

"Ok, but who let Sam into the kitchen?" I say fixing an eye on Jonathan and Jacob. They each point to one another.

"Out!" I say shooing her out before me. As we enter the living room I say, "You're right Sam, It's a bit too warm in there. Now your brother has traveled a long way to see you. Sit, talk, chat." And I retreat back into the kitchen.

* * *

Jack

This is the most fun I've had in…forever. I mean, we've got people ranging from negative five months all the way to over a hundred years here. It's an amazing party. The fact that we're keeping a bit of a secret kind of makes it exciting, although I think Sam is getting stressed by the whole thing. And Cassie is mouthy. Man, I hope Charlie doesn't go through a phase like that!

When Mark passes Sam a glass of wine, I grab it from her without thinking. Yeah, there would probably be more discrete ways to do that, now everyone is staring at me, waiting for an explanation.

"I want to thank you MajorCarter for joining me in abstaining from intoxicating beverages, your support is greatly appreciated," Teal'c says. God I love that Jaffa.

"To togetherness," I say raising Sam's glass and taking a drink out of it after everyone had said "Cheers."

* * *

Daniel

Of course, it had to be me that finally blew the cover. I'd forgotten what I got Sam for Christmas. A box of Shifu's clothing, since apparently it's a boy.

Silence after she opened the gift.

"You see…" Jack starts, but that's as far as he gets.

"I cannot believe you guys keep secrets for a living! You're horrible at it," Cassie explains. She turns to Mark, "Uncle Mark, Mom's pregnant. Orlin was the father. He died saving her life a few weeks before she knew about the baby."

Silence, eyes on Sam. She nods her head one time, slowly.

"More cousins?" Chris says hopefully.

"One more cousin," Sam says.

"Yeah!" Chris squeals crawling onto her lap.

"Congratulations," Mark says somewhat reluctantly, "I know you're a good Mom."

"How far along are you?" Linda asks.

"Just over four months," Sam responds.

"When did you find out it was a boy?" Jack asks picking up the clothing.

"That information is courtesy of Adrian Conrad," Sam mutters reluctantly.

Jack turns to the non-SG contingency in the room and says, "Sam was recently kidnapped."

"Horrible secret keepers," Cassie mutters, "And you were worried about me when I was twelve!" she exclaims.

"Yes, Ms. Classified," I tease.

"Open my present, mom," Cassie says. Sam opens up something framed and looks at it for a long time before she turns it toward us. The word, "Defender" is written at the bottom, and the top shows a picture of Sam. Way more pregnant than she is now, wearing her typical SG black shirt, and green fatigues. But instead of the unflattering black coat, she has a cape the same color as the pants. Her eyes are tiny Stargates. And her hair, is long. The Defender won't have long hair until the world is safe. She looks beautiful, and fierce, and intelligent and very Sam like.

I feel tears coming to my eyes. "Sam, did Cassie ever tell you…" I start.

"About the myth of the Defender," Sam finishes, "Yeah," she gives Cassie a 'come here' gesture.

Cassie gently sits down on her lap, "You still know I'm not the Defender right?"

"You are to me," she says.

"It's beautiful, you are an amazing artist, and I love you so much," Sam says.

"Defender?" Jacob asked.

"It's a myth from Cassie's culture," I offer.

"She's calling me Superman," Sam says.

"And Lincoln and Moses," Cassie adds, "Supermom."

* * *

Meg

Anyone under a certain age has gone off to bed. I'm not sure how Cassie weaseled her way into staying up, but she did. The adults are staying up talking when suddenly a blanket comes floating down the hallways. I'm not being poetic here. It's floating by itself. No one holding it, no strings, no magic tricks.

"What the…" my son asks.

Sam jumps up and grabs it.

"Cold?" Daniel asks.

"It wasn't me!" Sam exclaims blushing.

"Right, the baby," Jack says like this isn't particularly surprising.

"Your baby makes things float?" Mark asks.

Sam makes the face I've labeled as her "well," face. It's actually quite similar to her father's "really?" face.

"MajorCarter have you experienced similar events before?" Teal'c asks.

"Look, it's only happened a couple of times, but I was really tired or hungry…"

"…and why exactly did you allow yourself to get really tired or hungry? You have to take care of yourself at least until the baby is born Sam!" Jon scolds.

"I'm sorry, Sir, she says," rolling her eyes, "I've been doing better. But anyway, the little one takes good care of me. He's now upgraded to dealing with a little bit cold."

"Sam, when you were kidnapped…" Jon says.

"He got me a file, which helped me get out," she says.

Jack walks over, and gives her a long hug. My son is a really good hugger. Then he ushers Sam into a chair and wraps her up in the blanket.

"I'm fine Jack," she insists.

"Sam, you were recently kidnapped, and you're pregnant with a telepathic baby fathered by a dead man. I think you could use a little spoiling."

"Sam," Mark insists, "How did that blanket float?"

"The baby's father had some unique genes," Daniel offers.

"That allow it to move things with its mind?" Linda asks with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah," Sam says.

Jon looks at her, and I know he sees something the rest of us don't. He reads her like he used to read books, back in his childhood before he fell out of love with books. "And?"

"What?" Sam says trying to give him a look of innocence.

"What else can the baby do?" he asks.

"Sir, this might be a discussion we can have when we go back to work," she says. He gets that protective look on his face, and she closes her eyes in surrender. "I think there is some sharing of emotions between us," she mutters.

"Which makes sense since that's what led to the baby's existence," Cassie says.

"Cassie!" Sam exclaims.

"It's true, Sam does like guys that share their feelings in dramatic ways," Daniel says cryptically.

"Very true," Jon says, which is weird, because he never shares his feelings.

"Yeah, and you don't even know about Narim."

"Narim, eh?" Jack says raising his eyebrow.

"Oh, yeah, and she's got a collection in the basement," Cassie adds helpfully.

"So you aren't the only klepto?" Jack asks Cassie.

"Definitely not," Sam says looking at Daniel. Wait a minute, Cassie steals? Jon jumps up and runs into the basement. Sam tries to stop him, but her legs are tangled in the blanket, and she falls. Teal'c catches her. Her father gives her that adorable 'really?' look he has. (Did I just think of Jacob Carter as adorable?)

"Sam! You have a Stargate in your basement!" Jon screams from the basement.

"There are people up here who haven't signed non-disclosure agreements," Sam says.

Jack runs up, "You kept the Stargate, eh?" he asks.

Sam bites her lip, "Jack, Orlin left four things on this planet. And one of them is right here," she says pointing to her stomach.

"You're not getting my opal! He made that for me!" Cassie protests.

"He made you an opal?" Daniel asks.

"He made Sam an emerald," Cassie offers.

"We're not talking little rocks either," Sam says with a grin.

"I get it," Jack says, "but is this?" he asks holding up a stone.

"My God Jack, classified!" Sam protests.

"They saw a blanket float Sam, I'm pretty sure we're going to have to get them to sign something."

"That's from Narim," Daniel offers.

"Sir, you didn't press buttons did you?" Sam asks taking it from him. She presses a button, and looks relieved. "I was afraid you'd erase it." Sam grabs onto her stomach laughing, "Ah, baby doesn't like Narim."

"Who is Narim, I thought the baby's father was Orlin?" Mark asks angrily.

"Thank you so much, Daniel," she says glaring at him, "Narim was five years ago. We kissed once, and then went our separate ways. And Orlin is the first guy I've dated since then, and Daniel manages to make me look like a slut," she says sitting down.

"No one thought that, Sam," Jon says sitting down next to her.

"Baby likes you," she says taking his hand and putting it on her stomach. There is silence for a bit.

"I don't feel anything," Jon says.

"There," Sam says giggling, "It's your voice."

"I still didn't feel it," Jon says.

"It's too early for that, dear," Linda says, "Mark didn't feel either of the kids until I was well over five months along."

"But the kid clearly has good taste," I tease, "I may not know who Narim is, but the kid likes my son."

"Who wouldn't?" Cassie says.

"So are you going to give us some sort of explanation on why my nephew has telekinesis, and where my sister stole a little object with strange markings on it from?" Mark asks.

"Hey if you want to see strange markings…" Jon begins. Suddenly his eyes get huge, and he leaps out of his chair pointing at Daniel. "Daniel!" he exclaims.

"Yes, Jack," he says innocently.

"You told Sam all foster kids steal, and you have a pretty full apartment for how many times you've been declared dead…" Jack says.

"So you guys steal? And you're admitting it around a kid?" Mark says with a glare.

"I don't steal," Daniel says, "I take artifacts that I found on totally legitimate digs, and take them home to study."

"And keep them for years," Jon says.

"Jack."

"I played that Egyptian snakes and ladder game with you, I'm practically an accomplice!" Jack explains.

"It's Hounds and Jackals," Sha're offers, "and that one is from the first year of our marriage."

"Oh," Jon says a little abashed.

"And Sam only takes things given her by al…" Daniel freezes.

"…all her boyfriends," Jon finishes. Sam glares at him.

"It's Cass that steals," Sam offers by way of distraction.

"Mom!" she exclaims in horror.

"Oh for crying out loud, the kid has a pen collection, big deal," Jon says.

"And I didn't steal the Stargate. Trust me. Orlin used my credit card to make that thing, it's actually quite expensive, and it doesn't even work."

"Huh, I thought you'd have it up and running by now," Jon says.

"Even Orlin said it was one time use," Sam says.

"What do Stargates do?" Mark asks.

"They take people to other planets," Jack says nonchalantly. I laugh, and then…I look around. Oh my gosh!

Mark and Linda laugh uneasily, and allow the subject to be changed. But I'm pretty sure…that wasn't a joke.

* * *

Jacob

The phone rings. Cassie has finally gotten over her unnatural fascination with the phone, which means I actually have to answer it.

"Hello," I say.

"Hi," Meg's voice says.

"I'll get Sam," I say.

"No, Jacob, I wanted to talk to you," she says.

"Jacob, I think Margaret likes you," Selmak proclaims.

"Naw," I tell him.

"Can you meet, maybe for lunch?" she asks.

"Oh my God is she asking me out on a date?" I ask Selmak.

"You are far more familiar with earth customs than I am," he responds. Tok'ra are way too serious, and don't get rhetorical questions.

"Sure, Meg."

* * *

Meg

Jacob sits down next to me, and he looks confused as well as uneasy; a perfect storm for getting information. I've dealt with classified information first with my husband, and then my son. I know how to get information from them. And Jacob is as Air Force as they come.

"So my Grandson is an alien," I say. There is the tiniest fraction of a second of real reaction before the cover story kicks in. Holy crap, I'm right!

"I think we should cut you off the science fiction. We banned Sam, but that's because she knows how unrealistic it is, not because she mistakes it for the truth."

"Is your granddaughter an alien?" I ask, "I know your grandson is half alien."

He makes that face, and it is kind of cute. I was using the whole pseudo date thing to put him out of balance, but you know…

"Meg, I know you saw some strange classified things, but when Jack joked about what the Stargate did, it was just a joke."

"Jacob, what planet do you live on?"

"Meg, do you realize how long it takes a space ship traveling slower than the speed of light to reach another planet?"

"That was carefully worded," I say. He grins. "Jacob, are you an alien?"

"I have US citizenship."

"Right, that's exactly what I meant," I say slowly and deliberately.

"Your husband was Air Force, right?" he asks fiddling with the silverware.

I nod.

"And he couldn't tell you what he did."

"No, Christopher could. He was fighting in Vietnam. He never got into the super-secret things. It was only Johnny who did that."

"Ok, but you understand that whatever is going on…we can't tell you about it."

"If you all left it at work, that would be one thing. But you bring it into the family. My grandson, your grandchildren, are aliens."

"They are human," he says.

I tilt my head at him, "and you are?"

He rubs the back of his neck, "I'm human."

"With an alien disease of some kind?"

"I had cancer years ago," he says.

"I remember, and you left for an experimental treatment. So are you now a liaison with alien doctors to bring their treatments to the good people of earth?"

"You know what?" he says with a shrug, "You know enough, and I don't care anymore. Yeah, you are right. I work with aliens, but the price of being healed is usually pretty high."

"Is there anything wrong with your neck?" I ask.

He grimaces, "We need to go somewhere more private if you want answers."

* * *

Jacob

When Meg first invited me on what I thought at the time was a date, I didn't think I'd be coming back to her apartment a mere half hour after we met for coffee. I also didn't think I'd ever be telling her the truth about the Stargate. Although, in hindsight that might bring it a little closer to the "date" part.

"Ok, so tell me," she says with her arms crossed. She thinks a lie is coming, but I wouldn't have had her come somewhere secure just to tell her a lie.

"An artifact was found in 1928 in the Giza strip. It's a large ring, that Daniel refers to as the Stargate. The name caught on. It is capable of moving people millions of light years from earth in a fraction of a second."

She stares at me open mouthed, "If this is a lie, it is by far the most creative lie…"

"It's not a lie Meg. You asked before if I am an alien. I'm not, but I do have an alien in me. There is a parasitic race that consists of good guys and bad guys. One of the good guys lives in my brain. It can take control of me whenever it wants."

"Can I meet him?"

"Ah, she prefers her, even though they don't really have genders per se," I say. Selmak's echo voice takes over, "It is a pleasure to officially meet you. I have wanted to talk to you ever since I first met you."

"So how long have you been in…his head?"

"Five years," her booming voice says.

"Wow, so you're a permanent resident?" she asks nervously.

Selmak laughs that rippley laugh deep inside of my chest, "Yes, that is the trade, but his life will be much longer than it would have been without me."

"Wow!" Meg says staring at us.

Selmak grins and tells me, "She likes you."

"No, that was just a ruse to get the truth out of me," I say inside of her head.

"No, it wasn't, do you like her?"

"Of course, I like her," I only realize that Selmak played the trick of putting me back in control without telling me when I see a blush steal across her face. "Selmak was asking questions, and not telling me that the answer would be heard by all," I exclaim.

"But it's true?" she asks.

I nod. If I tried to lie, Selmak would just rat me out anyway.

"That's good, because I didn't ask you out, just so I could get classified information out of you."

"Really?"

"Really."

* * *

Sam

"Hey," Jack's voice says on the other end of the phone.

"Hi, Jack, I'm sorry I'm just on my way out of the door. Got called into work, some galactic emergency."

"I know, I actually got called in too. I was wondering if your Dad would be able to watch Charlie for me."

"I'm sorry, he's not here. Can't your mom do it?"

"Mom's not answering her phone, and it's Mrs. Sanders' day off. Where is your Dad?"

"I don't know he just said he was going out. Where's your mom?"

"You don't think…" I start.

"No, they wouldn't be, would they?" he says, but he doesn't sound entirely sure.

"You know what, Cassie can watch him," I tell him.

"Right, ah…thanks."


	21. Meridian

Sam

I was pretty sure I was in the early stages of labor. I head into the infirmary to have Janet confirm it. On the way I see SG-1 come through. They were on a diplomatic mission, and they are back way early. I go toward them, but Jack stops me.

"Carter, stay away, radiation."

"Radiation?" I ask worriedly.

"Don't touch me!," Daniel says looking really concerned. I give them lot of space, but follow them into the infirmary.

"Let's get him scrubbed down," Janet says.

My water breaks. I drop a towel down discreetly to wipe it up. I don't need people fusing around me. I need to be near Daniel. Radiation poisoning.

"They were making a bomb, sir," the Colonel says to General Hammond. They let me sit in on the briefing, something they would definitely not do if they knew I was in labor.

* * *

"They were far from achieving a deliverable weapon, but if successful it would have been as powerful as a naqahdah-enhanced nuclear warhead," Dr. Miller, my temporary replacement says.

"The Kelownans claimed they were under threat of oppression from their neighboring nations and the weapon would only be used to ensure their freedom," Teal'c offers.

"Sounds like a situation we would have to be very careful about getting involved in," General Hammond cautions. This is a road we've been down before after all.

"I'm not sure we need to worry about that, General," the Colonel says.

"How so?" the General asks.

"I don't think they want our help any longer," the Colonel says.

"Something to do with how Dr Jackson was exposed to that much radiation?" General Hammond asks cautiously.

"We were touring the city. Daniel was at the research facility with Jonas. As I'm sure you can imagine, he was pretty passionate about trying to convince the Kelownan people that building a big bomb wasn't going to be the answer to their problems." Dr. Miller says looking crushed. But he can't begin to understand. He barely knows Daniel.

"Still, we don't know," the Colonel says.

"Colonel, what do you know?" the Colonel looks at me with concern on his face.

"Sir, they're claiming Daniel tried to sabotage their research," Dr. Miller says reluctantly.

"They're lying, General," the Colonel says grumpily.

"I also do not believe this to be true," Teal'c says still looking at me.

"They let us bring him back home on compassionate grounds," Dr. Miller says.

"The fact is, they just didn't want us around there anymore," the Colonel says slowly.

"But they are demanding that he be returned to face the charges if he survives," Dr. Miller adds.

* * *

Daniel

Sam knocks on my curtain.

"It's ok, Janet cleared me to be around others. I'm not radioactive anymore. I even asked about the effect on the baby," I offer.

Her face looks really grave, "How are you?"

"Well, I'm fine for now," I say. I can tell by her face she wants me to give her the truth so I do, "The nausea will be followed be tremors, convulsions and something called ataxia. Surface tissue, brain tissue and internal organs will inflame and degrade, I believe that's called necrosis. Now based on the dose of radiation I got, all that will happen in the next ten to fifteen hours, and if I don't drown in my own fluids first, I will bleed to death, and there is no medical treatment to prevent that."

"Maybe not that we know of," Jack says coming into the room behind me.

"Jack, we don't go running to our off world allies every time an individual's life is at stake. And don't go telling me that this is any different, because my life is no more valuable than anybody else's," Jack says.

"What happened?" Jack asks.

"It doesn't matter," and it really doesn't. Either way I die. What does it matter what they think of me.

"Yes, it does. You didn't try to sabotage anything," he says. Absolute confidence in me. When the hell did that happen?

"There was an accident. I guess the scientists figured the government would hold them responsible. I guess they figured it was easier to blame me." I say.

"And you're okay with this?"

"No. But there's not much I can do about that." I say. In my experience you can't really influence other people's views of me.

"Yes, there is," Jack says angrily.

"If they really want to blame me, denying it isn't going to change anything. Ten thousand years ago, a Goa'uld tried the same experiments that they're trying and he nearly blew the entire planet to bits. I tried telling them that, they wouldn't listen. They're gonna build that bomb and nothing we say is gonna stop them."

* * *

Sam

I'm really hoping I can do this. I have to do this. There is not a lot of evidence that I can do this. I mean we saw Karan do this, but she was host to a Gou'ald for years. But I may be Daniel's best hope.

"Daniel, I didn't suggest this before because, well, the truth is, I'm not really sure what I'm doing with this thing. I could make things worse," I say holding the healing device in front of him. Daniel nods his head. I give a nervous look to Janet who gives me a thin and grim smile. I hold the healing device as over his body. I close my hands.

It is the strangest experience I've ever gone through. I can feel a million tares. I try to mend them, but there is so much damage. Daniel starts to shake.

"He's seizing. Get the crash cart; give me five of Valium," Janet says.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry," I practically sob getting out of the way.

"Help me get him on his side. Valium's in. Stand by with the ambu bag, draw two grams of magnesium sulphate. Put him back, easy," Janet continues.

I may have just killed one of my best friends. Suddenly a contraction doubles me over. I look up, thankfully they were too distracted with Daniel to notice.

* * *

Daniel

Sam was trying to heal me, but it felt more like a pain stick than a sarcophagus. Of course, I've never actually had someone use a healing device on me before, so maybe this is what it is supposed to feel like.

Suddenly I am standing in the gate room in front of the gate. I'm dressed in my BDU's. There are so many familiar things in the room, but there are also so many things that are unfamiliar about it. The lighting is very different. A woman dressed all in white is standing on the ramp.

"Your fate is in your hands," she says.

* * *

Jack

God Daniel looks awful. His whole body is wrapped up in bandages, to the point that I wouldn't know it was Daniel if there was more than one mummy in the infirmary. I sit down next to him. I suck at this touchy feely stuff. But Daniel means enough to me that I really need to try.

"Hey, Jack," Daniel says softly.

"Hey. I uh, I just wanted to… I'm really bad at this," I might as well admit it right away.

"Yes, you are," he says with a little laugh. He's my friend, so of course he knows that I am really bad at this. He even changes the subject for me, "I hear that Sam thinks the naquadria might be an important discovery."

"Yeah, apparently. If we can get some. For what it's worth, I tried to get your point across to Jonas."

"He's in a tough position," Daniel would defend someone framing him for a disaster.

"You're not gonna take the fall for this. I don't care what's at stake," I say angrily.

"Why do you care?" he asks.

"Because, despite the fact that you've been a terrific pain in the ass for the last five years, I may have, might have, uh, grown to admire you a little, I think," I say.

"Now that's touching," he says sarcastically.

"This will not be your last act on official record," I repeat.

"Oma…" he says.

"What?" I'm thinking he's not really with me anymore. I think she's in another place.

* * *

Daniel

"Oma Desala. I felt like I knew you, like we'd met before, but… you look different," I say suddenly realizing who she is.

"Lightning flashes, sparks shower, in one blink of your eyes you have missed seeing," I really wish I could understand what she was saying.

"Right. What did you mean when you said my fate is in my hands?" I say taking a note out of Jack's book, and being direct.

"When the mind is enlightened, the spirit is freed and the body matters not," she continues. This sounds like the offer she made Sha're before. It sounds like it might involve death. Of course, death is probably going to happen to me anyway, so what does it matter?

"You're talking about ascension, right? Rising to a different plane of existence. Are you saying that I could do that? Become like you?"

"You must complete the journey you began at Kheb. Only then will you be able to find your way to the Great Path."

If I have to die, perhaps I can help others. God, I don't want to die, what about my family? "What do I do?" I ask with reservations.

"Release your burden."

"Okay, well, consider it released. What's Step Two?"

"A tall man cannot hide in the short grass."

I don't want to spend my last moments trying to figure out nonsense statements. "You know, I really, I don't have time for one of these kind of conversations."

"One cannot reach enlightenment by running from death."

That was more or less my plan, "Tell me what to do."

"Many roads lead to the Great Path. Only the willing will find their way."

"Okay, well, I'm willing. So let's go. I mean, you know, do your thing. Glow me," I think Jack has been rubbing off on me.

"The river tells no lies, though standing on the shore, the dishonest man still hears them."

"Right. I didn't think it was gonna be that easy."

* * *

Sha're

"Daniel," I say softly. He turns his head to me, but I can't see his facial expression. He's wrapped in too many bandages. "They told me you were going to die," I say trying not to sob.

His bandaged hand grabs mine even though I see him flinch as he does it.

"I'm so sorry Sha're."

"I'm the one who is sorry," I can't stop the tears now that I hear how unbelievably sweet he is being. "Daniel…I found something out while you were on your last mission. Perhaps I should not tell you, but I think you would rather know."

"What?" he asks fixing his eyes on mine.

"We're having a baby."

His mouth breaks into a grin I can see even under the bandages. But then the grin turns into a scowl. "Sha're…I'm sorry. God, I didn't mean to leave you like this. You're going to do this all on your own. Sha're…"

"You're going to be fine, Dan'yel," I assure him.

"Sha're, I'm not going to be fine," he says.

"I'm not going to be doing it on my own. You didn't do it on your own with Shifu did you? Everyone was there for you. I'll be fine."

"Two kids," he mutters.

"Dan'yel, I am so glad that there will be some of you will stay with me."

"I wish more could stay with you," he says regretfully, "Sha're, I need to talk to you logistic maters…"

"No," I say shaking my head fiercely.

"Sha're, I need to know you and the kids," the s makes him break into a wide grin, "are going to be ok."

I nod my head, and sit down for a serious talk.

* * *

Daniel

"Millions could still die," I complain to Oma. I mean I risked my life to save people. Two kids are going to be growing up without a father, and I have to leave Sha're alone, and still people are going to die. I'm thinking that I made a really bad deal.

"The future is never certain. You saved many without regard for your own life."

"Could have destroyed the device," I say bitterly. At least my death would have meant something then.

"You believe your journey is still not over."

"Of course I do! I have a family! What kind of father leaves his children to save people he never even knew?"

"You can never reach enlightenment if you do not believe you are worthy."

"Then I guess we may have a problem," I tell Oma.

* * *

Teal'c

I return to DanielJackson a statue that he once gave to me. He is not far from death. It deeply grieves me to see a friend in this state, "You once gave me this. You said that its spirit would one day serve its owner in the afterlife."

"Thanks. I'm not dead yet, but… I guess it doesn't look so good right now," Daniel says weekly.

"If you are to die, Daniel Jackson, I wish you to know that I believe that the fight against the Goa'uld will have lost one of its greatest warriors. And I will have lost one of my greatest friends." I give my friend the salute due a fallen warrior.

* * *

I am back in the gate room talking to Oma, "Because it is so clear it takes a long time to realize it. If you immediately know the candlelight is fire, the meal was cooked a long time ago."

"Yeah, yeah, a monk at Kheb said that to me. I didn't know what it meant then and I still don't know now," I say losing patience with the whole thing.

"Why do you feel you have failed on your journey? You opened the Stargate for your world."

"I cracked the code, a lot of other people made it work."

"You are a good father."

"But neither of my kids is probably going to remember me."

"The very next thing you did was help free the people of Abydos from evil."

I have a flash back to the day the Gou'ald's took Sha're, "I should have been able to protect her. I couldn't leave it alone. I was the one that unburied the Gate. What happened to her was my fault. Every Goa'uld I helped eliminate, another one took its place. Maybe I did something good every now and again, but nothing I've ever done seems to have changed anything.

"These tasks of which you speak were great challenges. Perhaps they were even impossible to achieve."

"Does that absolve me?" I say, that was too easy.

"You feel your journey must continue until you have found redemption for these failures?"

"No. Not anymore, not if I'm dead," I'm not sure exactly what matters now.

"Exactly true."

"You said I was the only one qualified to judge myself? So, how ever much I want achievement enlightenment or whatever you want to call it, what happens if I look at my life and I don't honestly believe I deserve it?"

"The success or failure of your deeds does not add up to the sum of your life. Your spirit cannot be weighed. Judge yourself by the intention of your actions and by the strength with which you faced the challenges that have stood in your way."

"What if I can't?"

"The people closest to you have been trying to tell you that you have made a difference. That you did change things for the better."

"Not enough," I say, there are so many things that I am leaving undone.

"The universe is vast and we are so small. There is only one thing we can ever truly control."

"What's that?"

"Whether we are good or evil," but I'm not entirely sure which one I am.

* * *

Jacob

Daniel looks awful. He's laying on the bed completely covered in bandages. His wife, Sammy and Dr. Fraizer are around him.

"Hey, Sam. I'm so sorry," I say giving my daughter a hug.

"I tried this, but it didn't work," she says handing me the healing device with a look of dejection on her face.

"We'll do our best."

I take the device and activate it over Daniel's body. Selmak takes over as he always does when we are using Gou'ald technology. I can see and feel all the damage in Daniel's body.

"His condition is grave. I do not know if I can save him. And even if I can, I do not believe I can restore his full healthy state."

"Do what you can," Sam says looking worriedly at me as I activate the machine again.

"Come back to me, my love," Sha're says holding lightly onto his hand.

* * *

Daniel

Oma is about to go through the Stargate, "You're leaving? You can't leave," I beg her.

"The rest is up to you."

"Why, why me? Why, why give me this chance?"

"Anyone can reach enlightenment. Anyone prepared to open their mind as you did when you first came to Kheb."

"They're trying to save me. They're healing me, I can feel it," I can also feel Sha're's hopes her desperate attempt to save me.

"Then your journey will continue as before."

"What if I don't want it to? Not that way. Not without my family."

"Walking the Great Path brings great responsibility. You cannot fear it nor hesitate in your resolve."

"He won't be able to heal you completely."

"So cancer? In a few years? Do I at least get a few years with my family first?"

She takes a deep breath, "Do not think I will always save you," she says.

And for one second I can feel this thing she calls enlightenment. My physical body is gone, and I see how unimportant it was all along. I don't have access to all knowledge, like I thought I would. But I do see a lot more than I did before. I notice every detail of the room, and see their significance almost too the point of seeing the past and the future. I can also see inside of people's minds. They are all thinking about me, and they think a whole lot more of me than I thought they did. I can also sense people far away. People far away that are important to us. They are pulling at my attention. I can feel other people's pain. Sam has a lot of pain right now. Why is she in so much pain?

Then suddenly I'm back in my body. Well, not my body exactly, but one exactly like it.

"Daniel?" Sha're exclaims.

"Yes," I say.

"Oh my God, you disappeared, you were…just gone," Sha're says.

"It's like you turned into light," Sam offers.

"I really don't think I did that," Jacob says.

"It's ok, Sha're. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be fine. Oma healed me. She wanted me to ascend, but I couldn't leave you," I say sitting up and hugging her.

"Daniel I want to run some tests on you," Janet says.

"Yes," Sh'are nods enthusiastically, "Make sure he's ok."

I smile at her, "I want to make sure I'll be here for you, Shifu, and the baby."

"Baby?" Jack asks with a big grin.

Baby, that's it! "Sam are you in labor?" I ask. All eyes are on her.

"How did you know?" she asks.

Jack moves closer to her.

"When I was ascended there for a second, I felt her pain."

"Sam, I'll need you up on an exam table," Janet says.

"You have to take care of Daniel first. That's why I didn't mention it," Sam says.

"You didn't mention you were in labor?" Jack says in disbelief.

"Sammy," Jacob says nervously.

"I'm fine," she says with an eye roll.

* * *

Janet

How did I not notice my best friend was in labor? I'm a doctor for crying out loud! But of course I know the answer to that question. I didn't notice, because I was at the time completely distracted by the fact that another one of my good friends was dying. Still, Sam was in a really advanced state of labor by the I examined her. Good thing she didn't want an epidural, because it was too late for that.

Teal'c stands by the door of the infirmary shoeing away the stem of people there to see if Sam is really having the baby. Jack and Daniel stand one on each side of her. Daniel is holding her hand. Jack doesn't hold her hand, any fool can tell there is too much between them than that. But every once in a while he rubs her shoulder, and I'm pretty sure he's offering more support than Daniel's more obvious gestures.

It's less than an hour after I know that Sam is in labor when her son is born. She actually cries when I hand him to her. Sam doesn't cry easy, and this is the first happy tears I've ever seen her cry.

"So, do we finally get to know what you named him?" Jack asks looking at the kid with…seriously? This kid got the Colonel to mist up too?

"It was pretty tough to decide," Sam says, "But I finally decided on Jonathan Daniel Murray Carter after all four of my guys," she says grinning at the four of them around her bed.

"Big name for this little kid," Daniel says obviously touched by the gesture of the child being named after him.

"I'll call him JD," she says touching his cheek.

JD focuses his eyes on Jack beyond her.

"Carter, does this kid read minds…rather ask questions inside your mind?" Jack asks nervously.

"He can't talk yet, but…there is some mental influence there," Sam responds clearly with an unspoken 'why' at the end.

"JD," Jack says running a finger across his cheek, "I'm Uncle Jack." And we all know question the baby was asking non-verbally in Jack's mind. From inside the womb Jack must have sounded like Daddy. Jack was the most significant male influence in Sam's life.

"Hold him," Sam commands softly.

Jack gently lifts the little baby up, "Hello," he says. I wrapped the baby the way I was taught long ago in some class in med school. Something I haven't had to use since I learned tight they can't scratch there face. JD looks at the blanket's grumpily, and they unfold gently allowing his hand to come out. JD wraps his little hand around Jack's fingers, and we all know that Jack has been claimed.

Jack passes the baby around, and Sam's teammates, and Sha're each take their turn holding the baby gently in their arms. Finally he's back in his mother's arms. Suddenly one of Sam's breast juts toward JD. Sam blushes deep red. "JD, you are going to have to learn to control that telepathy," she scolds.

"Hunger," Sha're shrugs. The boys of SG-1, and Sam's father flee the room wearing various shades of red.


	22. Redemption

Teal'c

Bra'tac brought me word that my wife has become gravely ill. "As you see, conditions are harsh, but they have been safe here," Bra'tac comforts me as we stride through the camp of the rebel Jaffa.

"They must be moved to the new outpost built by the Tau'ri. All Jaffa who support our cause are welcome there," I say trying to secure for my family greater protection.

"Drey'auc is in no state to be moved now."

"Why did you wait?" I say dismayed at discovering how sick my wife had become.

"As it is, I brought you here against her wishes," he says slightly conspiratorially.

"She has always been proud," I say as memories of Drey'auc hiding so much as a cold from me.

"She refused to accept the new symbiote," Bra'tac informs me.

"Was one procured?" I would be willing to do battle to save her.

"No. She did not wish us to sacrifice the life of another Jaffa to save her own, even one who still foolishly worships the false gods. We would all choose the same fate."

"In the past…"

"It is not the past, my friend. The dissent we have bred has brought about many changes. The Goa'uld no longer trust the Jaffa priests with their young as they once did…" Rya'c emerges from the tent and fixes a glare upon me.

"Rya'c!" I shout in excitement.

"You dare show your face here? She is dead…because of you." He accuses as he shoves me out of the way. My wife…is gone? I walk into the tent and kneel down next to my fallen wife. I pull the covering away from her face.

A first prime ought to be used to death. But…Drey'auc.

* * *

Rya'c

Father comes into the woods and sits down next to me.

"She believed in you…in the fight you have chosen," I tell him.

"As you once did," he says looking at me with concern.

"How long were we to live like this? Are we all to die like she did?" I shout.

"Nothing has changed. The Goa'uld can be defeated," he says evenly, unflappable.

"As long as we must carry symbiotes, we will depend on the Goa'uld for our lives," I remind him.

"We will find a way to be free," he says with blind faith.

I turn to face him with fury, "My mother will never know this freedom you speak of. She had no choice. You brought this upon her. You chose for the both of us," I grab my staff weapon and fix it upon my father, "Now, as any warrior would, I choose to avenge her death," I charge the staff weapon.

"Everything I have done, I have done for you," he says with pain in his voice.

"Then I am ashamed…for you have done nothing but bring pain and misery and above all, false hope, to countless Jaffa."

"Then fire your weapon."

But after all, he is my father, and I cannot kill him. I hit him with a staff weapon. He doesn't react to this, and it only makes me madder. So I hit him again, and again. I hit him in the stomach, and finally I get a reaction out of him. He doubles over. But even as I hurt him, he will not fight back. "Fight! Or do you not consider me a worthy opponent?" I scream at him. Bra'tac comes behind me and takes the staff weapon out of my hands.

"You should be glad he does not, for if he did, he would snap you in half. You have become skilled, Rya'c, but a true Jaffa warrior does not let grief cloud his judgment," Bra'tac cautions.

"I choose my opponent as foolishly as he chose his," I sneer.

"Teal'c chose your mother's fate no more than he chose his own. We are all victims of the Goa'uld."

"No, Master Bra'tac, Rya'c is correct. I have failed both he and his mother," Father says.

"The boy passes judgment without having fought a single battle…hmm? Fighting a war that appears unwinnable does not make one's cause less noble," Bra'tac challenges.

"He cares more for dying than for his own flesh and blood," I sneer.

"So must all Jaffa, if any of us are ever to taste freedom," Bra'tac says as he disengages the staff weapon and puts it back in my hands. I grab it up quickly and walk away. I feel my father's eyes on the back of my head.

* * *

Teal'c

The fire takes Drey'auc's body. That is how the Jaffa are taught to say it. The fire takes her. Takes her where? To Kheb? I have been to Kheb. I do not think she will be there. To where? To nothingness?

"Shel Mak. Shel Assah," I tell her. I watch the fire burn. I watch my angry son in the crowd. His eyes match mine, but then he turns away. I start to follow him, but Bra'tac stops me.

"Let him mourn," the wise man cautions.

"He has grown to hate me."

"He does not. Nor does he truly believe our cause is futile. Drey'auc would not allow it," Bra'tac says.

"Why does he speak as he does?" I ask.

"Self-doubt. Since the day Apophis brainwashed him, he has believed his own mind is weak."

"It is not true."

"You were no different at his age. After the death of your father at the hands of Cronus, fear almost consumed you. Like Rya'c, it was your desire for vengeance that gave you strength."

"Rya'c misplaces his blame."

"He directs his malice toward you because he believes you doubt him as much as he doubts himself."

"Why would he believe such a thing?"

"Because you are his father and you have not told him otherwise." I think about Bra'tac. He was a good father to me after my own father died. He did well in raising me. I know that if I asked him he would do the same for my son. But it would be better if I did not ask him.

I turn back toward the fire that is my wife. Rya'c is sitting at the base of the steps of the Stargate. I sit next to him. My son thinks he is not worthy, I must inform him he is wrong.

"Not…so long ago, I was captured in battle and Apophis took control of my mind. He made me believe that… I was once again his loyal first prime. And I turned on my friends who trusted me. Were it not for Bra'tac and the right of Mal Sharran, I would have died…believing that Apophis was my god. Whether you believe in me or what I have chosen to do does not change the fact that I have never doubted your heart, Rya'c. You need never win back my trust, my son, for you have never lost it." My son gives me a hug. "Rya'c. I will give you a choice. You can return to earth to live with me, or you may live with Bra'tac."

"I will join you and the Tau'ri in fighting the Goa'uld, Father," he replies.

"Son, Jaffa have long lives, there is no reason to be eager to fight. You should stay young for as long as you are able. Come to the Tau'ri and be a child. They have things such as…birthday parties…and weapons which do not fire."

"What good is a weapon which does not fire?" he asks.

"I am uncertain, however, I am sure the children of the Tau'ri could teach you."

* * *

Jack

Teal'c brought his son home! It's about time! I've thought he should have done it for a long time. But I wasn't about to tell him that. I watch "our" kids playing out in the back yard. Actually they are all too big for playing, it's "hanging out" and you get an eye roll if you get it wrong.

Rya'c and Charlie are playing catch with a baseball. They are pretty close in age. Rya'c is fifteen and Charlie is fourteen. Cassie at sixteen is, as always, too old for this group. She's sitting in a tree reading. Janet's son Loren is halfway between their ages, but he's not playing the game. The kid spent way too long by himself.

Shifu is eight years old, and itching to be included. But the teenagers have never thought of including what they view as a baby in their game.

"Hey! Four way catch!" Sam calls out. What a great mother! We hear the sound of JD crying through the open window, she stands up.

"I got it," I say going to get him.

"Cassie, why don't you play too?" I ask.

"Seriously mom?" Cassie groans.

"O'Neill is correct," Teal'c says sternly.

"Best game in the world!" I cast over my shoulder at her.

I walk into the house, and JD goes instantly silent when he sees my face. I didn't know JD had even reached that recognizes faces stage, let alone, that he knew mine.

"Hey little man," I say. My mind is filled with an image of playing catch…not with this Charlie, but with another one. Sometimes I'm not sure if the images are from my own mind or from JD.

"It's ok JD. I'm ok." I say.

His bright eyes look up at me. I hear the window crash behind me, and shelter the baby.

"Are you ok?" Sam asks frantically through the broken glass.

"Yeah, we're fine," I say examining the baby carefully as I talk. "What happened?" I say, still not entirely sure we're not under Goa'uld attack.

"The baseball flew out of my hands, and through the window, but I swear I didn't throw it," Shifu says sounding absolutely terrified.

"Jonathan Daniel Murray," I say looking at the baby in my hands.

"You really think it was the baby?" Sam asks.

"Pretty sure. He was putting thoughts of baseball in my head right before. Either that or he was taking thoughts of baseball out of my head."

"I'll clean this up," Daniel says entering the house behind me.

I nod, pick up the ball, and head back outside. The kids resume their game, with the addition of Teal'c which makes the whole game more interesting. Sam looks really bummed.

"The NID want me to keep JD on base all the time," Sam mutters.

"What? You can't raise a baby on a military base, it's insane," I protest.

"That's what I told them. But I don't know. I mean…it's not as if JD is ever going to have a normal life. I mean he can't leave the house. And it's dangerous. What if he got cut on the glass today?"

"There is glass on base," I say.

She sighs, "I know, it's just…this isn't easy."

"Parenting is never easy," I say.

"I get that, just…I feel like he's being cheated out of life. He's classified. I mean they're all classified," she indicates the kids.

"And they are fine. When JD gets older he'll learn to control this. He'll be fine."

"What if he can never go to school?"

"Then we'll hire someone to teach him. I mean Charlie had a private tutor for two years. So what if he can't go to school right away, or ever."

She bites her lip, "You're right."

I glance at her, and then away. There is something I need to say. Something I've wanted to say ever since she took Cassie in. Something I almost said after the mind stamp, and the day I took home Charlie, and the day her son was born.

"Maybe I should retire," I say while staring at the kids' game. After a long moment of silence I glance at her to see what she is thinking.

"You can't do that, Jack. The universe needs you," she says evenly.

"Just checking," I say getting up. It may not have been a long conversation, but it was a big one, and I need a little distance.


	23. Frozen

Aiyana

I hear a whole bunch of voices talking, I don't recognize the language. I know many languages. That is the good thing about mind reading, one of the talents I gained when I partially ascended. It helps me learn new things faster. It gives me instant access to all the words of their language, and their relationship to pictures.

I feel hands touching me, and I move away from them. They talk some more. I gasp in terror. Who are these people? Where am I? How did I end up here? There is something down my throat, and I can feel myself choking. Slowly they take the thing out of my throat. One of them rubs my legs trying to comfort me.

Suddenly I feel myself slipping away.

* * *

I wake up, and I find myself dressed in some strange green clothing. Something is holding my arms from moving. Two people walk in, and they have something over their mouths. One of them speaks. I move away from him. I still don't know where I am or who they are.

The man who spoke before takes his mask off, "Daniel." He smiles at me, and I look into his brain. He is a good man.

"Francine," the woman says.

The man says some more words. Then he frees my wrists from the things that have imprisoned them. Then he helps me sit up.

"Can you speak? You speak?" The man asks making gestures with his hands over his throat. His mind is filled with the thought of speech. He speaks many languages.

Daniel points to himself, "I'm Daniel," he says. I look at him confused. I've already picked up the basics of his language, but I want them to keep taking it slow so I can learn.

"Daniel. It's my name," he repeats.

"Da...niel," I repeat.

"Yeah," he says with a grin.

"I guess she can speak," the woman says.

"Daniel, though, Daniel is my name. It's my name," he points at the woman, "Francine is her name. Do you have a name? Hmm?"

I pick up her sleeve to look at the bandage on my arm.

"That bothering you?" Daniel says.

"Oh, that's my fault. I'm sorry," Francine says looking at me. I look inside of her brain, and suddenly I know what sorry is. I am sorry for many things. Sorry I was not able to save the people of this earth. Sorry that the others stopped me.

"S…Sor-ry?" I ask slowly.

"Yeah, sorry." She uses many words to describe what sorry means. But I don't understand most of words she uses.

"We didn't know. Let me have a look? It's okay," the woman says. She takes the bandage off. I've already healed it. She seems really surprised by this.

"That's amazing," she says her mind full of amazement.

"Am-a-zing," I say, trying the new word.

"Yes, you are," the woman says. I smile.

"Am-a-zing," I inform Daniel.

* * *

Daniel comes in bringing a tray with something on it. I don't know what the something is.

"I thought you might be hungry. I brought you some…uh…food," ok, there were a lot of words there. He needs to remember to keep it short. "You eat it," he picks some up and puts it in his mouth, "It's not very good, but, uh…try it."

I take a piece and put it in my mouth. It's awful. I shake my head and make a face to let him know what I think of it. Then I try something else on the tray, there are after all, several things.

"That's not much…" he says sounding, what is their word? Sorry. But it's the first food I've had in…I don't know how long. I start to eat the food as quickly as I can. "…better. I guess if you've been frozen for that many years…"

I caught some of the thoughts that went with those words, but I must have misunderstood. He was thinking about a very long period of time, and my being frozen all of that time. But it's not possible for a body to survive that.

"Hey, I want to show you something…uh…here, look, look." He says opening a book to a page that has a Stargate on it. He points to it.

"Have you ever seen this? Yes? No?"

I point to the drawing, "Amazing," I tell him. I'm warning him in case he intends to go through that thing. It would be a huge surprise to him.

* * *

I look at the window. Why is this world so cold? Am I even still on earth? Daniel comes into the room. I look, at him and back out the window. I understand much of his language now. I understand even more when I don't look right at him. I know that one of them is missing. Some of them are sick. They are sick because of something I gave them.

"Eventually, we're all gonna be very sick. But…you have no idea what I'm talking about, so…"

I look at him trying to show by my face that I don't understand. I point to myself.

"Do you? You can understand me?" he asks in amazement.

I nod my head.

"You're a quicker study than I am. So, is there anything at all that you can tell me about this disease you're carrying? Why you're not sick? You don't know? Y-You don't remember anything?"

I remember a great deal of my life before I woke up here. But I don't remember being sick. I don't remember anything that would help him, so I just shake my head.

"Do you know how you're able to heal yourself?"

This is one of the abilities I gained after I went into the ascension machine. Daniel is frustrated and worried.

* * *

They bring in a man that is cold and sick. They are taking off his clothes so they can get him warmer. They look at a small screen. What is it recording? I watch slowly as they try to help him. I don't want to interfere. If these people are capable of bringing me back from being frozen they are more advanced than my own people.

His foot is frozen. They are worried by it. They are using another monitor now. They get out paddles. They are preparing electric paddles. What are they going to do with them? Oh no!

I walk toward the man. The one called Jack tries to stop me. I put my hand on the frozen man's head.

Daniel makes sure they let me continue.

I put my other hand on his stomach. It hurts so bad. I can feel all of his pain. I can feel all the mistakes in his body, and I have to fix all of them if he is going to live. He is healed, but I feel very, very weak.

* * *

They have let me rest for awhile, but not for long enough.

"You okay?" Daniel asks.

I nod my head.

"Do you know what you did?"

I nod my head, just barely. I don't completely understand the process if that is what he means.

"Do you know how you did it?"

I shake my head for that one. I have no idea.

"Can you do it again?"

I frown. If I do it again I'm going to be really weak. I could be in danger of dying.

"Dr. Michaels and Dr. Osbourne are both…they're in very bad shape. And if you can't help them…"

I nod my head. I have to save them. The only reason they are sick is because of me.

* * *

I saved so many of them that I have weakened myself so much…I can barely think.

Daniel looks at me, "Hey. Glad to see you're awake. I had a feeling that you were gonna make it. Thanks for what you did for me. You didn't have to do that. Not for any of us."

I frown, and the frown hurts.

"Hey, take it easy, huh? Gotta get your strength back. Colonel O'Neill still needs your help. More than that, we want you to live. I want you to live."

I shake my head. If I save another I am going to die. I might die anyway.

"Sor-ry." I say faintly. It's the last thing that I hear.

* * *

Jack

"Sir, I don't know if you can hear me."

I could hear Carter's voice anywhere. Then I feel JD in my brain.

"Why'd ya bring the baby?" I say opening my eyes. JD is behind the observation plastic. The two month old is flapping for all it's worth.

Carter's forehead wrinkles. "He thinks he can heal you."

"Carter," I say, and she leans closer to catch my words.

"Yeah, I'm right here."

I whisper to her, "Over my dead body, are you risking that baby's life in order to save mine."

"Jack, he's sure it won't hurt him."

"Carter, he's three months old. He doesn't know."

"Sir, please," she begs.

She's willing to risk her son's life for me.

I nod my head.

* * *

Sam

I really wish they made baby size bio suites. But they don't, and furthermore I don't know if however the healing happens would even work through a biohazard suit.

I hold JD up to his namesake. He places a hand on the Colonel's stomach. I can feel what JD feels which is Jack's pain. The three of us are connected in an extreme way. The first time I shared emotions-Narim-I'd never felt anything like that. The second time-Orlin-that was a million times more extreme. But this, the three of us sharing effortless thoughts, emotions, and pain. Not just the pain of this sickness. But old pains. The first Charlie, my mother, a skinned knee when one of us was five. And the strange thing was, I didn't know which one of us had the skinned knee. It could also be a prophesy of JD's future for all I know (note to self, buy kneepads).

The moment ends, and I feel empty. The three of us, we belonged together. JD knew it. In fact, he'd declared Jack his Father. I don't know if he knew it wasn't the truth or not, but I do know that in that baby's mind Jack was his Dad.

Jack is looking anywhere but at me.

"Ah…your mom's with the kids. I think I'll check on them. If you're ok."

"Get JD checked out first," he says.

"Yeah, are you ok?" I ask.

His eyes focus on mine, and I realize the connection isn't completely gone.

"Better than ok, Carter. Thanks JD," he says looking at the baby.


	24. Paradise Lost

Jack

I can't believe this! Maybourne tricked us once again! He and I have a rocky relationship. I mean first he had a slimy political position. Then he turned rogue NID. Then we were reluctant teammates. Now he's tricked me into being transported to God knows where, and who knows how long it will be before I can get back to my son.

"You rotten, good for nothing…"

"Jack?" he says in surprise.

"You son of a…" I begin.

"Jack!" he shouts.

"Where the hell are we?" I ask.

"Dammit, Jack, why'd you have to do that?"

"Where's the Zat?" I demand. I'm certainly not going to be taken out by him.

"I don't know, I don't have it," he says.

I level my P-90 on him, "Where is it?" I demand again.

"It's not here. I guess it didn't come through with us."

"Why not?"

"Well, how should I know? Maybe the doorway filters out weapons?"

I lift up the big honking gun obviously.

"Goa'uld weapons?" he offers awkwardly.

"You shot me!" I shout.

"Zatted. I'm not going back, you know."

"Where?"

"Anywhere. To the Stargate or Earth."

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't know, maybe they've got a way to send you back. I don't think anyone's supposed to leave, that's part of the deal."

"Who are you talking about? What deal?"

"The people at the place we're going."

"Maybourne, have you completely lost your mind because if you're suffering I'll gladly put you out of your misery."

"It's an alien Utopia. According to the scroll it's supposed to be paradise."

"What?"

"A long time ago, some people from an advanced alien society, well they chucked it all and they formed this small, isolated Utopian community. They sent out representatives to meet and evaluate people from all over the galaxy and offer them a chance to join them. The scroll and the stone were the invitation."

* * *

"It's in this valley. What's strange is, there's supposed to be a greeting party."  
"And you know, that's not all that's strange about this."

"They're supposed to know when someone uses the doorway. I was expecting some sort of welcome."

"Mai-tais? Leis?"

"Well, something."

"Cabana boys? I tell you Maybourne, I don't hear any steel drums. How old was that invitation?"

Crap, there is a village here, but there definitely aren't any people in it.

"There's no one here."

"I noticed that."

I look at a skeleton, "This in the brochure?"

* * *

Sam

"Major, this technology's unlike anything we've come across before," Dr. Lee says.

"I know," I say grumpily.

"We have no frame of reference, no way to interface." Yes, and I do it all the time. We'll get this figured out.

"I'm working on it, Doctor. As you should be."

"Right," he says sarcastically.

* * *

"I covered as much territory as the range of the UAV will allow," I report.

"Have you received word from the Tok'ra?" Teal'c asks.

"Yeah, they responded and said they didn't know when one of their operatives with access to a ship would be able to help us." I was really hoping that the Tok'ra would be able to help us out on this one. I look over and notice in horror that the scientists are gathering their gear together, "What are they doing?" I demand of them.

"I believe they have completed their analyses," Teal'c offers, trying to calm me with that voice of his.

"Excuse me? Where's Colonel O'Neill? I don't see him, do you? Did you guys find him while I was gone?" I bark, I mean the guy has a son counting on him getting home. My son is counting on him coming home. Hell, let's be honest, I'm counting on him coming home.

"We've been here for a week," last time it took three months, "and I'm not sure, but I'm pretty certain that we could all spend the rest of our natural lives trying to figure out exactly how this thing works. Do you know what? Even if I could snap my fingers and turn it on right now, I'm beginning to doubt whether it would determine where it sent Colonel O'Neill. I'd bet almost anything that the targeting data is in the artifact that Colonel Maybourne used to open that doorway," Lee explains.

"I say when we're done here," I say really hoping he'll buy my bluff.

"With all due respect Major, I will submit my report to General Hammond. If he's prepared to commit to a long term analysis project, I'm happy to come back, with my big suitcase. But until then, if you'll excuse me?" Dr. Lee says. No such luck. I guess I am just going to have to come up with a crazy way to save the Colonel myself. Again.

* * *

Sam

"This is Jolen of the Tok'ra. To whom am I speaking?" a voice says through the Stargate.

"General Hammond. Major Carter, Teal'c and Jonas Quinn are also here," General Hammond responds to the Tok'ra.

"Major, I just received your message regarding the disappearance of Colonel O'Neill," Jolen says.

"Do you have a ship capable of scanning the planet?" I ask in excitement.

"Yes. In fact I've already taken the opportunity to fly over the planet in question. There were no detectable human life signs."

"Are you sure?" No, no, he can't be dead.

"Quite sure. I am very sorry," Jolen says softly.

* * *

"Major Carter," Teal'c says as he walks into the locker room.

"Teal'c, this is the women's locker room."

"It appears there is no one else here but you and you are fully clothed."

"True."

Teal'c sits down on the bench next to me.

"Are you all right Major Carter?"

"I'm fine, yeah," I say even though it's pretty futile to lie to Teal'c, he can see through anything.

"Have you given up hope of finding O'Neill?" he asks seriously.

"Hope? No. I'm starting to think Dr Lee is right. I don't think the doorway is the answer. It's been almost a month Teal'c, if there were a way back. I don't know if I can…"

I start to cry. Teal'c is one of the few people I don't mind crying around. He pulls me into a hug.

* * *

Who would have thought the way to find the Colonel would have nothing to do with technology.

"Teal'c, wind back that tape. Stop, there," I exclaim.

"That was the first day we were there," Daniel explains.

"I don't believe it. It wasn't visible after that. I forgot it was even there," I say.

"What?" Daniel asks looking at the tape confused.

"The moon. The doorway device doesn't use wormhole technology; it wasn't designed to send you across the galaxy. We thought they'd been sent somewhere else on the planet but they haven't, they've been sent to that moon."

"How do you know that?" Daniel asks.

I point to the engraving on the key, "The big circle is the planet, the little circle is the moon, the line between them is the path of transportation."

* * *

Jack

She saved me. She is always saving me.

"Thanks Carter," I say. But the whole exchange has a little too much emotion for her. She does what we always do when things get to intense between us. She finds an excuse to leave.

"Major Carter was most distressed by your absence," Teal'c says.

"Right back at her," I say.


	25. Fragile Balance

Sam

"Aunt Sam?" Charlie's scared, little voice says on the phone.

"What's wrong?"

"Dad isn't here."

"What?" I ask in shock.

"And someone else is."

"What? Honey you have to get away from him."

"He's my age, and he claims he's Dad." I hear a shout in the background, "I am your father, Jack O'Neill."

It sounds angry enough to be Jack.

"I'll be over in a minute," I say. "Cassie!" I call.

"Yeah?" she says. She's left the snotty age she entered when she turned sixteen. Now she acts like she's an adult. Which I am so not ready for her to be.

"Watch JD for a little bit. If I'm not home in an hour or so call Meg."

"Sure Mom, got it covered."

* * *

I stare at the kid sitting at the Colonel's breakfast table. I take the coffee out of his hand, and dump it down the sink. "Who are you?" I demand.

"Look, last night, I ate some dinner, had a beer, went to bed and woke up like this. Now can we please just get to the part where you and Fraiser run some tests, find a cure and make me big again?"

"You really expect me to believe that you are Jack O'Neill.

"Okay. You want proof? Carter, you once carried a Tok'ra named Jolinar, who gave her life to save you," ok, so not everyone knows that. But we've run into aliens with brain hacking abilities before.

"Ok, so we should probably take you to the base," I say.

"Figured. Mom's on her way. She's going to pick up JD and drop Cassie off at school."

"You are responsible, for your age."

He glares at me.

* * *

Sam

After Hammond and the rest of the team have been briefed on the situation, we get into the discussion about who exactly this person is.

"He can't be more than fifteen years old. Are you saying Colonel O'Neill has, somehow, regressed more than 30 years overnight?"

"Stranger things have happened," Daniel offers.

"Name but one," Teal'c requests.

"Well, there was the time he got really old, the time he became a caveman, the time we all swapped bodies…"

Hammond stops him by holding up his hand, "Why don't we move on to the testing portion of this exercise?"

* * *

Janet

We're dealing with a fifteen year old Jack O'Neill. His body is technically two months YOUNGER than his son.

"Are you certain, Doctor?  
This is the SGC, let's be honest, I'm not certain of anything, "Initial tests show that within an acceptable margin of error, the boy's DNA is virtually identical to Colonel O'Neill's."

"What size margin of error are we talking about?" Sam asks.

"Very small. In a court of law, the DNA sample we took from the boy would be considered a high-probability match to the DNA we have on file from Colonel O'Neill. There is a…" I pause. Sam is really the only one that has the background to understand it, "… tiny abnormality, but for all intents and purposes, it's him."

"Tiny abnormality? Like the fact that he's suddenly quite a few years younger than he's supposed to be?" Daniel asks. That boy needs a biology class almost as badly as he needs hand to hand combat training. Your age can't be determined by DNA.

"To be honest, this is out of my league." As are most of the things that I do at the SGC, "We've got some specialists flying in. We're going to run more tests, see what we can learn."

"In the meantime, I suggest we try to make him as comfortable as possible," the General says.

"I'll go get Charlie's Playstation."

"Great, I get to share toys with my kid," the Colonel grumbles.

* * *

Sam

Teal'c and I grin at Jack as he sits at the table and eats.

"You know, uh, I think you two are enjoying this just a little too much."

"Well, you are kinda cute," I say. That is something I could never say when he was in his ordinary body.

Jack responds by using his drill sergeant voice. Something he almost never pulls out on me, but which seems to be his normal way of waking his son up in the morning, "That's 'Sir' to you. And being trapped inside a scrawny little body isn't my idea of cute, Carter."

"Does possessing a younger body not have certain advantages, O'Neill?" Teal'c asks.

"No. Not seein' it. Whaddya mean?" the Colonel says nonchalantly.

"Do you not experience increased health and vitality?" Teal'c says.

"My vitality was just fine, thank you." Jack says highly offended.

"I think what Teal'c is saying is valid. How many of us wouldn't trade everything for the chance to be young again? Live our lives over?" I ask him. I know a whole lot of things that I would do differently if I could do it all again. Although my life has turned out pretty good. But it could definitely be better.

"Yeah, well, I don't plan on staying like this," Jack grumbles.

"Well, in the meantime, may I make a suggestion? Try enjoying this as much as we are," I ask him with a big grin. Jack gives me a huge frown, "Sir." I add.

* * *

Jack

Charlie and I have played a lot of video games before. But I never enjoyed it quite as much as I have since I turned young. Plus, I'm finally better than he is. I wonder if there is something about a teenage body that makes them good at video games.

I hear a knock at the door.

"It's open," I call out.

"How are you guys doing?" she asks.

I pause the game, and Charlie calls out in protest not having even noticed that someone else has entered the room. The kid has focus.

"Well, I think I'm gettin' another zit, and, uh, oh, yeah, I'm still a kid. Uh, but beyond that I'm doin' just peachy, thanks. Why?"

Carter looks nervous. She comes over to sit on the bed. "Charlie, Cassie is in the commissary having a snack. Why don't you go join her?"

Charlie takes the hint. He gets up and leaves the room looking nervous.

"Janet's just finished going over the genetic team's analysis of your test results," she says as soon as we are alone in the room.

"How bad can it be?" I ask already knowing that it is bad by the tone of her voice.

"You're probably not feeling the effects yet, but, something is happening to your body at the cellular level. Basically, your genetic structure is growing more unstable." I raise my hands in an attempt to make her stop. She looks down, overcome by sorrow, but she doesn't stop, "Colonel, you're dying."

She said it.

* * *

Jacob

I can't believe the news when I hear it. Apparently Jack got turned into a fifteen year old again, and as a result has only weeks to live.

"Thanks for coming. I'm sure it'll help coming directly from you," Sammy says.

"How are Cassie and DJ?" I ask

"Good, great, the kids are great. I'll tell them you said hi."

Just then I catch sight of Jack. I stare at him in shock, "I'm sorry, Sam told me what was going on, but, what could anyone possibly hope to gain from this?"

"Can we just, uh, get on with it? I'm not gettin' any younger," he says with that bitter sarcasm that lets you know he's really worried.

"Well, as I told Sam, our options are pretty limited," I say knowing Jack wouldn't want me to beat around the bush.

"You come all this way just to say goodbye?" he snaps.

"At this point, I'm here to recommend we put you in stasis until we better understand your condition," I inform him.

"You want to freeze me?" he asks in horror.

"Colonel, we're not talking about cryogenics as we know it here on Earth. The risk involved is minimal," Sam says. I know that her 'please don't die' alone has saved Jack a couple of times. I know it's saved me as well.

"No pressure, Jack, but you need to make a decision. We have a team standing by, but if you wait too long, we may not be able to reverse the cellular breakdown," I say.

"Colonel, please," she says. There it is. The please.

"It's your choice, Jack." Hammond says.

Someone had to say it. I didn't think it was going to have to be me, but I can see it is going to be. "Jack what about your son?"

"Can I have five minutes to think about it?" Jack asks.

"You can have ten, Colonel."

* * *

Jack

"Carter, your Dad can go ahead and freeze me," I say entering her lab. She is wearing a very grave face. "What's wrong?" I ask nervously.

"You're a clone," she says bluntly.

"What?" I ask.

"You're not the real Jack O'Neill," she repeats.

"So where is the real me?" I ask.

"I think the Asgard still have him. We've calculated approximately a seven day gap between abductions, which puts us at tonight," she says. She goes on to explain the crazy plan which involves allowing the Asgard to capture me in the hope we can capture him.

"This plan sucks. Look, I know you don't think I am who I am, but, as far as I'm concerned, I am. Who I am."

"The switch is the only chance we have of capturing whoever's behind this."

"What about the fact that this body is dying? I mean, has anyone even thought about that for a second?" She doesn't say a word, "Oh, I see. You don't care as long as you get the original back."

"We just, we don't know what else to do for you," she says gently, sadly.

"Fine. Give me a 9-mil. I'll get it outta the sucker."

"We may not want to kill whoever is doing this. We don't know who or what we might be facing yet."

"Exactly why you can't just use me as bait and hang me out to dry. You're never gonna intercept one of those Asgard beams. The only chance you have of capturing this guy is me."

"Hammond said you could have a zat," she says with a shrug.

* * *

Jack

Carter is shaking my shoulder as she says, "Colonel, you all right?"

"Jack! Jack!" Daniel shouts.

"O'Neill?" Teal'c says without the frantic tone the rest of their voices have. I'm not even sure that Jaffa voices get frantic.

"What are you all doing in my bedroom?' I ask. This isn't a dream is it? I have had dreams of Sam in my bedroom, but not the rest of them. "I assume this is, important?" I prompt since no one has answered my question.

"Just a little, Sir," Carter says.

"Y'know, I was having the weirdest dream." I blink, and suddenly I am aboard an Asgard ship.

A kid who looks eerily like I did at fifteen says, "There, you see, Carter? Told you it was no problem," he says. Who is he and how does he know Carter?

The kid walks over in front of me. He's wearing the exact same clothes as I am, although they are very baggy on him. I glance over at my teammates, "What's goin' on?"

No one is meeting my eyes, "Wow, uh, you know, I'm, I'm really much taller than I think," the kid says.

"Carter?" I ask since apparently he knows her.

"Colonel O'Neill, meet—Colonel O'Neill," she says gesturing toward the kid. I look at him. No way. "What's goin' on?" I ask again.

"We're pretty sure this Ass-gard over here, kidnapped you and attempted to replace you with a clone." Daniel says.

Well that cleared things up. Not. "How long was I asleep?"

"Seven days," Carter says.

"That's a record," I reply dryly but that is quite disconcerting. The last time I lost time was in a POW camp, "So you're—me?" I ask the kid.

"Yeah, uh, believe me, if you think it's weird, imagine how I feel being the copy," the kid says. Oh I just KNOW he hates that!

* * *

Sam

Loki thought that the Colonel's DNA was so extraordinary that he had to clone it. I wonder if it really is as wonderful as the Asgard think it is. We know it is unique. It's a pity the Colonel doesn't have a genetic offspring. The world could definitely use more people like Jack in it.

"A marker was placed in your DNA to prevent any attempts at genetic manipulation," Thor says.

"The abnormality?" Daniel asks.

"That's why the clone didn't mature," I say.

"Yes. Loki will be punished for his actions," Thor explains.

"Is it true that Colonel O'Neill is the key to solving your cloning problems?" Teal'c asks.

"No." he says plainly.

The full grown O'Neill starts whining just like his younger self, "But I thought I was advanced?"

"Indeed, you are O'Neill, but our scientists have already determined that while you are an important step forward in the evolutionary chain, the missing link we have been searching for still eludes us," Thor says.

"I'm sorry." O'Neill says.

"Again, I apologize for any inconvenience Loki may have caused," Thor says.

"Yeah, that's what I'd call it," the younger Jack says.

"Unfortunately, the eventual genetic breakdown of the clone is not my doing, but rather a result of Loki's inept methods," Thor offers.

"There was no need for the clones to survive," Loki says. Jack looks over at the younger version of himself with horror.

"Look, Thor? Is there anything you can do for him? The whining is starting to grate." I smile at Jack downplaying his affection. He doesn't like anyone to ever know that he has any feelings at all.

"You wish your clone to live?" Thor says in shock.

"You can't just let me die!" the young Jack says.

"He's just a kid," the Colonel offers. His clone gives him a look that plainly says he doesn't particularly like that turn of phrase.

"Are you certain, O'Neill?" Thor asks.

Jack doesn't answer right away.

"You know I can beat Charlie at video games?" the younger Jack says.

"Well, if he's gone and bonded with my kid," the Colonel says sarcastically, "Yeah, you got to let him live," he says seriously.

* * *

Jack

"You're sure about this?" I say as I drop my son and my clone (I still can't believe I have a clone) off at high school.

"I've thought a lot about it. And, you know, you, me, I mean, we, never really did embrace high school. I don't know. Haven't you ever just wanted to go back and do it all over again? I mean, especially with all you know now?"

"No," I say with confidence.

"Well, from here on in, you and me are different. Which is why I'm gonna do this."

"Hey, listen, do me a favor, huh?" Jack says.

"Don't worry, I, I wasn't gonna keep in touch." The kid says.

"I mean…you've bonded with my son. I wouldn't mind…"

"Maybe Charlie and I will hang out once in a while at my house."

"You sure?" I ask. "And are you sure about this? I mean, it's high school."

Three girls look at him, and they giggle to each other. I've never been a big fan of giggling, but apparently my clone and I differ in that respect.

"Yes! Go forth, young man!" I say.


	26. Chimera

Sam

I grab my coffee and sit down at a table pulling the paper up before me. Pete walks up next to me. I pretend like I don't know him.

"Is this seat taken?" he asks.

"Well no, but there's plenty of other empty…" he sits down next to me as I continue, "…tables."

"Yeah, but none of them have single, beautiful women sitting at them."

"Well, thank you, but how do you know I'm single?"

"There's no ring no your finger."

"I could have a boyfriend."

"You're having coffee by yourself at 7:30 in the morning."

"You're very observant."

"I'm a cop."

"Well, then, I feel compelled to warn you, most of the guys I have dated recently, have died."

"As in…"

"Dead."

"How?"

"Various circumstances."

"I'll risk it," Pete says switching to a chair that is even closer to me, "How about dinner tonight? My motel room."

"Your motel room?"

"Yeah, I'm in town from Denver on a case. I'll order room service; open a box of wine…"

"A box."

"Something with a duck on the front," I laugh and pull him close for a kiss.

"Stop it, Pete."

"What are you talking about? I'm on a roll here! I— I haven't even shown you my badge yet."

"Aww, and I gotta go."

"Come on Sam, call in sick. Spend the day with me. We'll take the baby to the zoo."

"He's already at day care, and there's no zoo in Colorado Springs."

Pete sighs, "Fine we'll take him to the park. There must be a park around here somewhere."

"I have to work."

"Can't the world wait one more day for more deep space telemetry?"

"Have you seen how much deep space there is out there?" she kisses his lips one more time. I give him a big smile, "I'll see you tonight."

* * *

Jack

The elevator door opens to reveal Carter. For some odd reason she looks surprised. "Colonel," she says.

"Carter," I greet.

A very tired looking Daniel yawns, looks away, and says, "Coffee."

Carter is humming. I can't believe it, humming? But that means…

"Humming?"

"I am?" she asks completely confused.

"You are," I say.

"Sorry," she says looking very uncomfortable.

"What's his name?" I ask.

"Now, why would—?" she asks.

"Humming," I say with a shrug.

"Pete."

"Pete." It's always good to know your enemy.

"Pete Shanahan, he's a cop."

"Speeding again, are we?" Carter does have a lead foot.

"He's from Denver. He's a friend of my brother's."

"A setup?" Sam so does not need to be set up with a guy. Is she not aware that she is the most gorgeous and brilliant woman that ever lived?

"Pathetic, I know."

"No, it's great," I say. I can't have Sam, and she deserves someone who is a hell of a lot better than me anyway. I really do want her to be happy. Right?

"Really?" she says sounding really surprised that I am ok with this. Or maybe she doesn't want me to be ok with this.

"Isn't it?" I ask her.

"Well, it's not serious or anything," she defends.

"And yet… it is… hum-worthy."

"Sir—" she says awkwardly.

"Carter, it's none of my business. I'm just happy that you're happy about something other than… quarks."

She gives me a look. I know that that's a real science thing, so I'm pretty pleased with myself, "Not bad with quarks, huh?"

"Excellent," I say. There is another long, awkward pause, "Bit uncomfortable, isn't it?"

"Yeah, a bit."

Thank goodness the elevator door opens. I walk out. I turn back and say, "Good luck."

"Thank you, sir," she says as she pushes the shut button.

* * *

Sam

"That was great," I tell Pete as we walk down the path at night. He finally got me to the park. But JD is at home.

"Yeah, it was okay. I mean, the company was fine," he grumbles.

"Oh, come on. How can you not like 'Singing In The Rain?'" I say in shock.

"I guess I've always been more of a Fred Astaire fan," he grumbles.

"It's a classic," I protest.

"Whoa. Whoa there, lady. I believe the term classic is reserved for the likes of The French Connection, Dirty Harry, Serpico."

"Cop movies."

"What's your point?"

I giggle, "This was romantic."

"Watching a man dance around in the rain with an umbrella?"

"Just because there were no guns or car chases."

"Or nudity."

"Yeah, well your chances of that are slim to none now, buddy," I tease.

"Have I ever told you what a good dancer I am?"

I laugh again.

* * *

Pete is dropping me off at my house. I really want to get inside and see if Cassie has been studying for her SAT's and see how well JD was walking. Kiss the new wounds he inevitably got falling down.

"You know, my case down here wraps up tomorrow."

"Does that mean you're heading back to Denver?" I ask.

"Actually, I called my captain, and said 'I don't care if crime is running rampant up there. I met this woman. This amazing person… and we've got this thing going on.'" Pete has a really great sense of humor. There is only one that I know of that is better, but…don't go there Sam.

"And what did he say?"

"'Get your ass back here or you're fired.'"

I laugh. I'm always laughing with Pete, "Too bad."

"I'm lying. I told him I'm taking two weeks' vacation. Truth is… Colorado Springs is very… underrated."

Two weeks? He took two weeks off for me. He kisses me. He's a really good kisser. "Pete…"

"And it was going so well."

"It is," I assure him.

"But?"

"It's getting late."

"It's seven o'clock."

"Which is almost my kid's bedtime."

"Right," he says sadly.

"Look, the last time I took someone home…I got a kid out of the deal. Not that I'm complaining. I wouldn't trade my son for anything," I say quickly.

"I'm not some jerk that would leave you if you were going to have my baby," Pete says, "I get that you have trust issues, but I'm not JD's father."

"Pete…JD's father died. Not long after I got pregnant. He died saving me."

"God, Sam, I'm so sorry. I didn't know," he says.

"It's ok, this isn't…"

"No, I get it. You don't want me to meet your kids quite yet. I totally understand that."

"And I do have to get up really early."

"To go to work?"

"Right…"

"Which involves long, arduous hours of you looking into a telescope."

I'm getting a little sick of Pete talking about parts of my life he knows nothing about as if he were an expert in them. "Right."

"Sam, have I mentioned I'm a cop? I interrogate people for a living."

"Are you saying you don't believe me?"

"Is this all going too fast for you? Because I can back off… Give you 5 or 10 minutes."

Another laugh and he gives me a feather light kiss on my cheek. "I'll call you." He doesn't move an inch, "Have I left yet? I can't feel my legs."

* * *

"Mom seriously?" Cassie says glancing at me.

"What?" I ask.

"You're going to go to "work" "she says with sarcastic air quotes.

"Yeah, Jack will pick you and JD up to spend the night at his house before too long, I'll probably be working late," I say.

"Mom, you are really going to expect me to believe that you are going to work in that dress? Seriously? It's clearly a date mom!"

"Cassie," I protest.

"Mom, I am seventeen. It's fine for you to admit you are dating someone. I mean I know you date. JD is pretty good evidence of that."

I place a kiss on Cassie's forehead, "Honey, I really want to be a good influence for you."

"You are, superwoman. You are a very good influence."

The doorbell rings, and Cassie runs to get it before I can stop her. "Hi," Pete says with a huge smile before his eyes catch on me, "I… um…" he says clearly becoming distracted.

"Pete, this is my daughter, Cassie. "Are those for me?" I ask looking toward the flowers.

"Yeah," he says.

"I told you that was a date dress, Mom," Cassie says with a laugh since Pete is still clearly distracted.

"They're beautiful. Thank you," I say ignoring Cassie.

"I've heard so much about you Cassie, I'm really glad to meet you."

"Mom wouldn't say a word about you," Cassie says with a grin, "and I'm pretty sure the only reason we got to meet is because you showed up early for a date."

"Guilty," he says with a grin.

"Hey, I'll go and get my brother," I say walking toward the bedroom.

"He's sleeping Cassie," Mom says in a pointed way that clearly means she doesn't want Pete to see any of my brother's less normal abilities.

"Well, have her in by eleven, or else I'll have to call the police," I tell him teasingly.

"I am the police," Pete informs me.

"Besides, you'll be at Jack's tonight," Mom says to me, not noticing the grin that crosses Pete's face at the words. It's a confused look.

"Jack is...?" he asks.

"Mom works with Jack. They are both single parents so they help each other out, totally platonic," I offer. Even though I sometimes wish it wasn't totally platonic.

* * *

Sam

I hear big band music playing as Pete leads me into a room with my eyes closed. I'm not even kidding you. He is actually making me close my eyes for a surprise.

"Now?" I ask impatiently.

"No."

"Now?"

"No."

"Now?"

He laughs, "No, would you stop?"

"How about now?"

"No…" he pauses, "Okay, now." I open my eyes and there is a huge dance floor. There is a huge crowd of old people dancing under a sign that says, "Happy 50th Anniversary Harry and Marg"

"Oh!"

"Whadda ya think?"

"I think we're gonna get noticed," I say. After all, we are younger than everyone else here by at least fifty years. I let my voice show that I am very impressed.

"Come on," he says grabbing my fingers, and entwining each of my fingers with another. He pulls me onto the dance floor where we start to slow dance. It's been a very long time since I slow danced with anyone.

* * *

"This is great," I tell Pete hours later as we are still dancing.

"It's nice to know that people still stay together no matter what, isn't it?"

I nod, smile, and run a hand down Pete's neck. He pulls me even closer to him as we continue to sway to the music.

* * *

"So, you wanna come in?" I offer nervously as we sit in his car in front of my house a little later.

"I don't know. You see, the inside of your house, that's a pretty big step."

"Suit yourself," I say with a shrug opening the car door.

"I'm just saying that right now, you're pretty much perfect. What if it turns out you're really messy or… worse? You're a neat freak weirdo with labeled drawers and an alphabetized bookshelf."

I just smile.

"Okay, I'm coming."

He enters the house, and I push him against the wall and begin kissing him, and pulling off his tie. He pushes me back against the other wall. The giving and taking of power in a relationship.

"Wow!"

I smile, "Just don't look at the bookshelves," they are not alphabetized. But they do follow the Dewey Decimal system.

* * *

Waking up next to a man. When is the last time that happened? Orlin, that's when, and before that, it was even longer. Pete strokes my bare arm, and I just keep looking into his eyes.

"So, why did you become a cop?"

"I watched too much TV as a kid. Adam-12, Starsky and Hutch, Barney Miller."

"Barney Miller?"

"It's my favorite show. Those guys never shot anybody, never beat anybody up."

"That's it?"

"What did you think? Every cop out there has an inspirational story? It's just a job Sam."

"I don't think so. Not for you. And Mark told me you had a story."

That earns me a laugh from him, "Bastard. Never date your buddy's sister."

"He didn't tell me what it was."

"It's no big deal. I had a bit of a rough time when I was growing up. Truth is… I probably would have ended up in jail if it wasn't for this one particular cop who took an interest. He really made a difference in my life. I admired that."

"It's an honorable job."

"Well, my ex-wife didn't think so. Did you ever see the episode where Barney comes home and all his stuff is on the front lawn with the divorce papers stapled on top?"

"No."

"I didn't blame her. I mean the hours suck and you never know if… I didn't have a choice. It's who I am."

"I can understand that," boy can I ever! When you have a job where you are saving every person on earth on a regular basis it's hard to come home to live a normal life.

"Really? Deep Space Telemetry is who you are?" he asks in a way that implies he never believed my cover story, not even for a moment.

"I wish I could tell you more."

"You don't trust me?"

"I'm not allowed," he is clearly frustrated and got out of bed to get his clothes on, "Where you going?"

"I gotta drive back to Denver today and file my report."

"Pete, aside from getting into huge trouble myself, I could be putting you in danger."

"Oh, now you're trying to tell me that joke about your boyfriends all ending up dead is true?"

It is. There is a danger in loving Samantha Carter. I considered not dating Pete for that reason. "Pete, please," I beg him. I feel like Pete and I could really be something. But if he leaves…

"The problem is, I feel like I've just scratched the surface with you, Sam. How can we have a future if you won't share your life with me?" he gives me a kiss on his cheek and starts to walk out of the house.

* * *

Pete

As I open Sam's front door I see Cassie standing there with a tall older man who is holding a one-year-old. A boy in his teens stands behind.

"Jack, JD, and Jack's son I presume," I say.

"Apparently, I brought the kids back a little early, I'm sorry," Jack says with a sudden grin. He turns to Cassie, "You were right, Sam was on a date. Sorry I didn't believe you. She's such a workaholic, I totally believed she was working all night."

Something hits me in the back of my head. I turn expecting to see an angry Sam, but I don't see anything.

"JD!" Cassie scolds.

"I think it was an aim problem," Jack defends shifting the child. "I don't think he meant to hit him."

"JD knows he's not supposed to…" Cassie starts, but she doesn't finish the sentence.

"Oh come on, he's a baby," Jack says. Suddenly a stuffed animal flies off the ground, and into the kid's hand.

"What just happened?" I ask. The kid just moved something with his mind!

"Pete," Sam says slowly coming behind me.

"Your kid moves things with his mind," I say.

"That's nothing," Jack says, "Hold him for a sec."

I take the small kid into my arms, and suddenly I feel something intense. Worry, fear. The feelings are so intense I'm nauseous. I hand the kid to Sam, and rush for the bathroom.

"Apparently he's not a big Pete fan," I hear Jack say behind me.

* * *

Sam

So JD doesn't like my boyfriend. That's normal right? Normal for a kid to resent whomever their mom is dating? I hope Pete is ok. And how exactly am I going to explain my son to him?

"Dack," JD says stubbornly.

"Be nice," I warn my son as I pass him over to the man he has always considered to be his father.

I go check on Pete.

"I'm sorry," I say, "He's never done that before.

"What I'm really interested in is how exactly your son was able to make me throw up."

"I don't know. Before he's only been able to make us feel emotions, usually the ones he's feeling."

His face falls, "The kid is really scared," he says sounding concerned.

"He'll be ok," I say rubbing his back, "what about you?"

"I'd like an explanation."

That is fair. He deserves that, but I can't give that to him. "Pete, JD's father was…rather extraordinary."

"Telepathy, telekinesis…" he says.

"He doesn't read thoughts. He shares emotions," I clarify.

"That is so terribly different, Sam," he says sarcastically.

"So tell me how your son is extraordinary."

She takes a deep breath, "Its classified Pete. You can't tell anyone about what you saw today. I'm not even supposed to let anyone without security clearance meet my son."

"You've got to be kidding me!" he explains, "That's no way for the kid to live."

"I'm hoping it is temporary," I say.

"So you are really not going to give me any explanation?"

"Pete, I'd love to, but I really can't. I'm sorry."

* * *

Pete

I sit in my car outside of Sam's house and dial my phone.

A disembodied voice says, "Federal Bureau of Investigation. How may I direct your call?"

"Special Agent Farrity, please," I request.

"I'll transfer you now. Please hold."

Then I hear my friend's voice, "Farrity."

"Hey Dan, it's Pete."

"Hey, Shandy! What's up, buddy?"

"I'm in Colorado Springs on a case right now and I need a favor, man. Can you do a background check on someone for me? Top down, global agency search, the works?"

"Sure thing, who is it?"

"An Air Force Major. Samantha Carter." Yeah, what I'm doing is a little stalkerish, and on the wrong side of the moral highroad, but can you blame me? Her kid beaned me in the head with a stuffed toy with HIS MIND. Before he used that same instrument to make me lose my lunch!

* * *

I pull my phone up to my ear, "Shanahan."

"Hey, buddy. It's me. I got what you wanted," Farrity says. That background check came back pretty fast. That's either a really good, or a really bad thing.

"Just give me the highlights."

"Well, there's a lot of backstop ID."

I roll my eyes, you'd think he would have figured out enough to skip the obvious, "Works for the Air Force. Does deep space telemetry for NORAD, I know. Is that all you found?"

"Actually, it's what didn't turn up that say's the most. The backstop dead-ends."

I probably should have been able to predict that, "She's been scrubbed."

"Yep. Someone went in the system and wiped out every possible trace of her and left only what they want others to see. She's probably connected with some top level stuff."

"Like?"

"Black ops, covert units. Things the government denies all knowledge of, you know what I'm saying? Look Pete, if you ask me, this Major Carter's connected. You might wanna back off from this one. Okay, buddy? It's way out of your league."

"Hey! It's not like I'm dating her or anything," I protest.

"Right," he says in a knowing voice that reminds me that lying to an FBI agent is never a good plan. He hangs up. I should probably take his advice. Sam is no doubt out of my league. But if her background check doesn't tell me what the hell is going on there are other ways to find that out. After all, I am a cop.

* * *

Sam

It is strange that I am missing someone I've only known for a couple of days. I dial his number, "Hello—" Pete's cheerful voice rings out.

"Hi, it's me—"

"…this is Pete. I'm probably chasing a bad guy. Leave a message." Ah, answering machine. What exactly had I been calling him to say? Nothing really. I can't actually say anything important to him. So I just hang up the phone. The Colonel walls into my lab.

"So, what have we got?" he asks. Lately Daniel has been having nightmares about his ex-girlfriend turned Goa'uld. He felt incredibly guilty about them and did everything in his power to hide them from Sha're. But it turns out they aren't just nightmares. A Goa'uld had been probing his mind at night.

"Uh, Daniel's at his house with the team, setting up video surveillance."

"Teal'c's picking out his doughnuts. He loves a good stakeout."

I grin. Teal'c has a fantasy about being a detective in the 1920's that no one outside of the team and family knows about, "Jamming device has been installed in the surveillance van. It should prevent Osiris from beaming herself out.  
The Colonel holds up a tranquilizer dart, "We're taking her down with these?"

"She likely has a personal shield, but we know that a tranquilizer dart will get through. At that point we hope that the Tok'ra can safely remove the symbiote and save Sarah," I explain.

"What about this whole Lost City deal?" he asks. Daniel thinks the information Osiris is trying to get out of him has to do with the Lost City of the Ancients.

"We watch and see. Once in his room, Osiris won't be able to leave. It's just a question of us getting to her before she realizes that she's been made."

"Back up?"

"Local authorities have been notified, but we don't want to do anything to alert Osiris."

"How's Pete?"

"You know how it is. Usually you don't let it bother you because you know that they couldn't cope with the truth anyway."

"Usually," Jack says in a way that implies he knows EXACTLY what I'm talking about. That really shouldn't bother me, but it does. It really, really does.

"I think Pete could have," I say with a shrug.

* * *

Pete

I follow Sam, Jack, and a huge black man in the little white van (that looks suspiciously like a stake out vehicle) as they sit outside of a house. The irony that I am probably staking out someone who is staking someone out does not escape me. I see Jack and the big black man walk into the house with a gun. Weird. Hours go by. Suddenly Sam jumps out of the van and starts heading into the house. I run up behind her.

"Sam."

She is shocked, "Pete, what are you—"

Suddenly a girl walks out of the house. She's dressed in crazy clothes, including something on her wrist which shoots out some lighty thing. I don't have a clue what it is, but I know that it probably isn't good. I dive for cover.

Sam does the same thing as she shouts out a "Get down!" warning for me.

The chick fires more firey whatever-that-is at the van. I'm behind the surveillance van, and Sam is between that and the car. Sam pulls something weird and metallic out, and starts firing at the chick. Whatever she fires out of the thing (purple lightning I think) gets stopped by a blue shimmer that disappears as soon as the purple lightning is deflected.

"Holy—" I begin, but another shot at the van cuts me off. I jump up from behind the van, and start firing my automatic weapon on the chick. The blue glowy thing shows up each time a bullet hits it, but otherwise I have no effect. Another light comes out of the chick's wrist, and I duck from it.

"It's no use, Pete!" Sam yells to me.

"Yeah, why exactly is that?" I shoot back in frustration.

Suddenly the chick's eyes light up. "Now, that is not normal."

Sam leaps from her sheltered place as she screams, "Look out!"

We both take off running as fast as we can. The van blows up. This is exactly how things like this happen in the movies. It would be cool if it wasn't so…life threatening. I put my body over Sam's to shield her from as much of the blast as possible.

I hear the chick say, "Uhh!" as she turns to see Jack lowering his weapon. The big black guy still has one of those strange alien weapons trained on her. The chick goes down. Thank God! Jack bends down to check on the fallen chick.

"Clear!" he calls out.

I roll away from Sam. She turns to me looking at me with concern, "Are you okay?" "I'm okay. Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"That's good," I say sinking slowly to the ground. She touches my belly.

"Oh, God, Pete, you've been hit."

"Have I?"

Jack looks over at us, "Carter?" he asks.

"Pete needs an ambulance!" she says to him. "Just hang in there, okay?" she says to me.

"Sam? What just happened?" I ask her.

"I promise, if you make it through this, I will explain everything," she says looking at me with eyes that have seen a lot of death. Maybe she wasn't lying about the dying boyfriend thing. Maybe I should have taken Farrity's advice and kept my distance. Too late now.

"Deal," I tell her.

* * *

The last few hours have been surreal. I mean even after being attacked by what would possibly qualify as the weirdest person ever. I'm currently being treated for who knows what kind of a wound inside of Cheyenne Mountain. Plus, whenever someone finds out I'm here with Sam they act like I just said I'm here with the president.

Said celebrity walks into my room holding a wrapped present, "Hey, they treating you okay?" she asks.

"Yeah. Who would have thought there's a hospital under Cheyenne Mountain?"

"One of the best anywhere."

"This place is unbelievable."

"You've no idea."

She hands him the wrapped gift. I unwrap it to find a picture of us dancing at the anniversary I took her to.

"Thanks," I say as she kisses me, "I believe I lived up to my end of the bargain."

"What I'm about to tell you is classified under section 11-C-9 of the National Security Act."

"Chicks with laser beam rings and glowing eyes are classified under 11-C-9."

"Let me talk, will you?" she scolds.

"Okay."

"You're currently in a top secret military facility known as Stargate Command. In 1928, in Giza, Egypt, archaeologists uncovered an ancient device capable of instantaneous transportation to other planets by means of a sub-space wormhole."

Right, like she was really going to tell me the truth, "I knew it! This is way better than a box of wine with a duck on the front," I say with a laugh

"I'm not kidding."

And I look at her face, and it really doesn't look like the face of someone who is pulling my leg, "Sorry… Other planets. Wormholes. Continue," and for the next five minutes she weaves the most amazing tale I've ever heard, and I don't even consider doubting it.

"So JD…" I prompt.

She bites her lip, "We were on this planet that had a piece of technology we had no idea what it was or how to get it to work. I was working on it, and I just passed out."

I put my hand over hers, and shoot her a look of concern which she dismisses with as toss of her head.

"Anyway they couldn't find anything wrong with me. But the next morning after I'd been ordered repetitively to 'take it easy,'" she says with angry air quotes.

"Bet you loved that," I interrupt.

"Oh yeah," she says, "anyway this guy just appears in my house, and he walked through my kitchen counter. So I call in the SGC, but they can't find anything. Turns out his name is Orlin, and he's a member of this alien species we call the Ascended. So he used to have a body much like ours, but now he's just pure energy. He can float around all invisible or glowy, and can walk though solid matter. Only he took on human form to be with me."

"And you had a kid with this guy? He's like an intergalactic stalker of another species!"

She shrugs, "I've always had a thing for the lunatic fringe, and you should be glad that stalking doesn't turn me off mister," she says pointedly.

"Right," I say. I am pretty lucky. A lot of women would be a lot more pissed about the stalking incident.

"Anyway, Orlin was a good guy. When he was ascended he broke the rules in order to save a lot of people, and as a result he got left alone for hundreds of years. Which kind of explains the whole stalker part," she says. I nod, "So anyway, Orlin did this mind sharing thing with me."

"Kind of like what JD did with me?" I ask.

"Sort of. But JD's is way more in the moment than Orlin's is. JD shares who you and he are at that second. Orlin and I…we were sharing everyone we'd ever been or would be," and she's got a goofy smile on her face. I wonder if this "mind sharing" isn't what led to JD's conception, but I am so not prepared to ask that question. Then another thought occurs to me.

"That what made you pass out on his planet?"

She looks startled, "Why would you ask that?"

"Well if JD could make me throw up…"

"He didn't mean to," she defends.

"He really shouldn't have shared your brain without asking.

"Well, you really shouldn't have done a background check on me without asking."

I stare at her in shock, how would she possibly know about that? "Oh come on! People who have reasons to scrub their backgrounds also have reason to know about all the people who want to know about them," she says.

"Ok, so JD is half physic alien," I say trying to get the topic off me and my transgressions.

"He isn't physic, but he does have some unusual powers. You've witnessed most of them."

"So," I say, "only people with proper security clearance are allowed to go to your house.

She grins, "Pete, you can come over anytime. That is provided you are willing to survive some pretty intense innuendo filled ribbing from a seventeen year old who thinks it's hilarious her mom doesn't want her to know anything about her sex life."

I grin, "So Cassie is…"

"An alien," she says without missing a beat.

I stare at her in shock.

"Ok, so apparently, it's still story time," she begins.


	27. Lost City

Jack

I glare at the crossword puzzle as I shave. There is a downside to working in a place that is chock full of geniuses. It does absolutely nothing for your self esteem. Just once I'd like to be able to win the crossword puzzle challenge against Sam.

My cell phone rings, I try to ignore it. Shaving and solving a crossword puzzle take enough brain power.

"What?" I finally ask in annoyance.

"Jack, I've been translating the Ancient writing on the colonnade SG-2 discovered on P3X-439," Daniel's excited voice beings.

"Daniel, I'll be there in half an hour."

"It talks about a library of knowledge, Jack. I think the monument contains a repository of the Ancients."

"Repository you say," the boy really can't take the hint that I so don't want to talk to him right now.

"Yeah, you know, that thing that grabbed your head, made you talk crazy, nearly killed you."

Does he really think I would forget the experience? Ok, well I don't actually remember the experience. But it's not like I would forget that it has happened to me.

"Well, sounds like we should stay away then."

"Well, considering what we know now, we should be able to find another way to access the information. Sam's been able to use Tok'ra crystals to, to find a way to transfer all kinds of different energies, I mean…"

I put the phone down knowing that Daniel isn't going to notice that I'm not listening to him. There is shaving cream all over the phone so I give it a quick rinse. That repository nearly killed me. It is a seriously bad idea to go looking for another one.

"We should go there as soon as possible," I hear him even with the phone far away.

"Yeah?" I say putting the phone to my ear once again.

"So?"

"I'll be there in half an hour," I repeat.

"Okay, bye."

'No, no, no, wait, don't hang up. I need a seven letter word."

"I told Sam I wouldn't help you," he says with a smile in his voice.

"Well then this will be the one thing she doesn't know. Up, down, charmed, blank."

"Strange."

"N-yeah. Well, thanks anyway."

"Charlie! Seven letter word for charmed!" I call.

"I promised Sam that I wouldn't help you," he calls back.

"I resent the implication that my son is smarter than I am," I grumble.

He sticks his head into the room with a wide grin on his face, "But I am Dad."

And he is. And I don't really resent it.

* * *

I'm still determined to finish the crossword. I write a word in. The guy riding the elevator with me leans over and shakes his head. Seriously? Am I the dumbest guy in Cheyenne Mountain?

"How long have you been waiting there?" I ask as the elevator doors open to reveal my entire team.

"You said half an hour an hour ago," Daniel says.

"General Hammond's waiting," Carter scolds.

I hand Carter the crossword puzzle with a grin as I head into the briefing room, "Excuse me."

Carter looks the crossword puzzle in disbelief, "The fate of the world is hanging in the balance, and you've been sitting in your truck, finishing this?"

Has she met me? Because that is pretty standard operating procedure, "I believe it was double or nothing."

"Okay, 23 across, the atomic weight of boron. The answer is ten."

"Yes."

"You write the word fat," she says folding up the crossword and handing it back to me.

"Your point?" We walk into the briefing room, and SG-3 are waiting just as impatiently as my team was, "Harper, Reynolds." I greet.

"Jack," Reynolds greets as we all take our seats.

"SG-3 spotted a Goa'uld reconnaissance drone while on the planet where they found the colonel. Since that obviously means the Goa'uld were aware of its existence, SG's 3 and 5 will be providing back-up. If General Hammond approves the mission," Ok, did they start the meeting without me, because this doesn't make sense.

"What mission?"

Hammond walks into the room, and we all pop back up respectfully, "Good morning, SG-1," he looks pointedly at me, "Nice of you to join us.

"Good morning, Sir," I say as if I didn't even pick up on not so hinty hint.

"I've read Doctor Jackson's report on his translation. Given what happened the last time you encountered something like this, I'm surprised you're so willing to take on this mission."

"So am I, Sir," I say glaring at Daniel. I don't actually recall telling anyone I was willing.

"Jack."

"Daniel?"

"Why wouldn't we want to gain access to the greatest repository of knowledge in the known universe, once and for all finding the lost city of the Ancients, and use their technology to save the entire galaxy from the evil oppression of the Goa'uld?"

"Well, there's that."

"From the mission file I've read, it's one of those things that whips up from the wall, grabs your head and rearranges your brain, right?" Reynolds asks.

"Sort of."

"Sort of?" Reynolds says dubiously.

"It basically downloads the entire library of Ancient knowledge into a person's mind. That massive amount of data then slowly unspools into your brain, eventually taking over your consciousness completely," Carter explains.

"Except it wasn't meant for a physiology as primitive as ours."

"Easy fella," after that crossword I could really do without being called 'primitive'.

Daniel mouths sorry to me.

"I thought the report said you almost died last time, Sir," Harper says.

Died? Surely, that's an exaggeration. I look around. My team's grave faces seem to indicate that they don't think it is.

"The Asgard removed the information from O'Neill before he was lost to us," Teal'c says.

"So, why don't we just shoot Thor a call, get him standing by as back up," I say.

"We tried Sir, he's not responding," Carter says.

"None of our alien allies have been particularly reliable of late. Should something happen again—" Hammond reminds us.

"General, no one's saying anyone should directly interface with the device, we're suggesting we extract it and bring it home for study," Daniel says.

I breathe a little tiny sigh of relief.

"The engineering team, that studied the last one of these devices you found determined nothing, after six months of research."

"We believe that that device's power source was depleted after Colonel O'Neill activated it."

"Recent intel suggests that Anubis has become a serious threat to dominate the rest of the Goa'uld in a very short time. We have to consider Earth at risk now, more than ever. If the knowledge contained within this device can lead us to technologies we can use to defend ourselves, we must pursue it."

"Why didn't you just say that?" Daniel asks.

"Sorry," he says cavalierly.

"You have a go. And be careful people," Hammond warns.

* * *

Sam

We're staring at the Ancient Repository of Knowledge, and the Goa'uld are attacking. "Alright, let's go," the Colonel says.

"Jack, we can't just leave," Daniel protests.

"Daniel—" Jack scolds.

"We must not let this fall into the hands of Anubis," Teal'c says.

The Colonel throws up his hands in frustration, "Fine," he says grabbing some C4 out of his bag and sticking it on the repository.

"JACK!" Daniel exclaims in horror.

"Sir, he's right, if we destroy it we lose our only chance of finding the location of the Lost City," I say.

"O'Neill," Teal'c says pointing his eyes toward the death gliders coming in.

"Oh crap. Alright, then what?" he asks. Daniel glances down at the ground, and then rushes toward the repository. The Colonel grabs him, and shoves him up against a wall. "No, no, no, no, no!"

"Jack, someone has to do it. The answer is in there," Daniel says desperately gesturing toward the repository. "If we don't find the Lost City we're as good as dead. Let me do it!"

"And who does the translating when you go Ancient?" The two of them exchange a look which plainly shows they are quite sick of one another. An explosion hits too close for comfort (then again, when is an explosion far enough away for comfort).

"In fact you're the one person who can't do it!" The Colonel says shoving his cap at Daniel. He takes a run at the repository. It grabs his head, and he grabs the hand like projections right back. He holds onto it desperately for a little bit, and then his hands go limp.

"JACK!" Daniel cries just as desperately as my "Sir!"

The repository finishes and allows Jack to fall to the ground, "O'Neill," Teal'c says as he and Daniel help him up. The Colonel is barely able to walk. I run behind him as we try to make it toward the gate.

"Jack, Jack you okay?" Daniel asks.

"What's going on?" Jack says nervously.

* * *

"How the hell did this happen?" General Hammond demands.

"It wasn't an accident, Sir," I say not quite able to meet his eyes.

"He did it deliberately," Daniel says.

"In order to access the knowledge of the Ancients," Teal'c offers.

"He, aahh, we figured we'd never get another shot at it," Daniel says.

"We know from experience that the Ancient knowledge will essentially overwrite the Colonel's brain. We're hoping that during the transformation process he'll become aware of the information we're looking for," I remind them.

"And then it will overwhelm his nervous system and the colonel will—" the General says.

The Colonel walks up the stairs while talking nonchalantly, "What? Meet my maker? Pay the piper? Reach the pearly gates? Start pushing up daisies here and there?"

"You should be in the infirmary," General Hammond says.

"Why? We all know exactly what's going to happen. In a few days I start speaking some strange language, a few days after that I start doing things beyond my control, and a few days after that… it's goodnight my someone, goodnight," he says.

My stomach hurts. I don't even want to think about Jack dying. I want to hear him speaking cavalierly about it so much less.

"So, with your permission, Sir, I'd like to take the weekend, get a few personal things together."

"The last time, it did take a couple of days before we noticed any change in the Colonel's behavior," I say. After everything he gave up, he at least deserves the weekend.

"I'll be back Monday, ready to work," he says.

"Permission granted," the General says.

"Thank you, Sir. Now, if you'll excuse me, my favorite television show starts in half an hour."

I follow him out of the room as he leaves. He turns to me. "Sam. You'll take Charlie?" His voice sounds strong and confident in the beginning, but it becomes scared and tentative near the end.

"Of course," I say.

He looks relieved. "Thanks, Carter."

* * *

Jack

I know I should be spending my last days with my kid. I have plans for tomorrow. But today I really needed to be alone. And then the doorbell rings.

"Hi, Sir," Carter says as I open the door. It's just Carter, I was sort of expecting my entire team.

"Carter?" I ask looking at her.

"Did I wake you?" I was taking a nap. I didn't get a whole lot of sleeping done last night.

"Sorta."

"I couldn't sleep at all last night," she says doing that lip biting thing she only does when she is really, really, nervous.

"Shoulda called."

"I didn't want to bother you, I…"

I nod my head, and step back so she can come in, "Um…" I offer when my stepping back doesn't immediately result in her entering the room. She comes in.

"I was just looking at the sky," I offer closing the door, "Trying to figure out how many stars we'd actually been to."

"Actually… only a few of the stars visible from Earth have Stargates on them, so…"

"I knew that. Hammond send you by to check up on me?"

"No. It's funny really, I, um, I was out driving… you know, in my car, and I, um, I drove here." She lets out an awkward pause which is followed by an awkward pause. Damn frat regs that leave us like this. With so much to say, knowing I'm going to die, and we can't say a word of it.

Of course the frat regs aren't the only problem anymore. There is Pete.

"Funny," I offer.

"Yeah."

"There's coffee around here," I say heading to the kitchen. Carter wanders around my living room, "Maybe not. Do you want a beer?" I ask from the kitchen.

"Sure, why not."

I walk in holding a beer to find Carter holding a picture of Charlie as a baby, "Wanna glass? I can wash one."

"No, I'm fine, thank you Sir," she says taking a bottle. She points to the last picture that has Sara, me and Charlie.

"So, do you ever talk to her?"

"Can we not talk about that?"

"Sorry," she says. The silence sounds in both of our ears for a bit before she says, "How you feeling?"

"Can we not talk about that either?"

"Okay," she says. I sit down on the couch, and she sits next to me. "What do you want to talk about?" I look at her, and don't say a word, "You want to be alone," she says, lightly placing her beer on the table, "This was a bad…I should go."

"Finish your beer. And then you have to wait at least an hour before you drive." I say, flicking the bottle top of my beer into the fireplace. She sits back down.

"Sir…"

I wait for her to go on, but she doesn't so I say, "What?"

"I should have done it," she says.

"What? Stick your head in that thing?" I ask. She nods. "Are you nuts? Carter, you're one of this country's natural resources, if not national treasures. It couldn't have gone down any other way. I just…hope it's worth it," I say taking a long sip of my beer.

"Even if we do find the Lost City, even if we get there and find exactly what we're looking for to defend the planet—" she says more emotional than I've seen her being since she was pregnant.

"That…would be worth it."

She shakes her head. She thinks I am worth more than the whole world. And all my life I though Samantha Carter was smart. I hear another knock on the door. Daniel pokes his head inside. He doesn't wait for me to answer the door, because he knows I never answer the door.

"Hello?" Daniel says tentatively.

"In here." I offer. Daniel and Teal'c both come into the den.

"Oh, sorry are we interrupting anything?"

"No," Carter and I say in unison.

"What're you doing here?" I ask.

"Uh, well, uh, it's a funny story actually. Um, we were driving by and we saw Sam's car in the driveway and, um, um…" Daniel stammers.

"Funny," I say to Carter.

Daniel ignores the interruption and keeps talking, "…and Teal'c said, well he didn't really say anything, he just looked at me and did that eyebrow raising thing that he kinda does and I said to him, I said hey, why don't we stop by and—"

"Is that doughnuts?" I ask indicating the box in his hands.

"Indeed," Teal'c says.

"Excellent," I say.

"So where is Charlie?" Daniel asks.

"Mom's got him," I said.

"You told them yet?" Carter asks.

I shake my head. No one says anything to that. I was expecting a good scolding. But my team…they really and truly get me.

* * *

Daniel

I don't remember what it was like to be in a family. I have one now of course. Ever since Shifu entered my life six years ago I've had a family. A lot more so since Sha're came home, and even more so since my daughter Claire entered the world a year ago.

But I wouldn't know how to make a family for my wife and kids if they hadn't shown me a family. SG-1. Making me feel like I belong. Of course my nostalgia might be partly based on the fact that I am a little bit tipsy right now.

"So wrong. It's the perfect analogy. Burns as Goa'uld," Jack insists.

"They are merely animated characters, O'Neill," Teal'c says bored by the whole thing.

"You're so shallow," Jack says to Teal'c.

I can't believe what I am hearing! Someone just called Teal'c SHALLOW? The orange I am balancing on the top of my beer bottle falls off, "Oh please, Teal'c's like one of the deepest people I know, he's sooo deep. Come, come on, tell them how deep you are. You'll be lucky if you understand this," I say nodding at Teal'c.

"My depth is immaterial to this conversation."

"Ooooh! You see!" I exclaim.

"No more beer for you," Jack says. The grin falls from my face. I know I said that SG-1 was like a family, but that don't mean Jack has to treat me like his kid.

"I'm sorry, Sir, but I have to agree. I don't see the connection," Sam says in that uber polite, professional way she has of talking to Jack.

"Alright, that does it. You know the entire VHS collection was going to one of you? It's going to Siler, he gets it."

* * *

Meg

"You're home early," Jack says. He's sitting completely motionless in the living room surrounded by empty beer bottles.

"Charlie, I think you better go to your room," I say to Charlie. He leaves the room without protest. That is kind of strange. You think he'd be protesting up a storm. The nature of a sixteen year old if nothing else.

"I hope you didn't drink all of these," I say as soon as his son is out of earshot.

"Naw, the team was here," he says.

"Jack, what's going on?"

"I'm dying mom."

There is silence. I was expecting him to laugh, or cry, or do something that would let me know if he was kidding.

"What?"

"I've only got about a week left," he says.

"No, we'll…we'll fix it. Are you sick? Maybe we need to see another doctor, get a second opinion or something."

"No, mom," he stops me.

"No," I say letting out a little sob as I sit down, "No," I shake my head. "Jack we have to find a way."

"No, mom, there is…"

"Tell me what the hell is wrong, Jack!" I shout.

"It's classified. Listen. Carter is going to take Charlie, but you have to keep being his Grandma ok? He can't lose anyone else. I've got money saved for him. It's all in his name. You are the keeper of it until he turns twenty one. If he needs a car or money for school or something, let him have it, but don't let him waste it or it won't get him through college. Of course, a kid like that will probably get all kinds of scholarships…"

"Stop," I say.

He's silent for a little bit.

"I don't know how to…" he says. And I know that is the reason for the blabbering. He didn't know how to say what he meant. So he tried to say it in another way. One that included lots of numbers.

"Jack, you know I love you right?" I ask him.

He nods, "I love you to. I always have. You were a really great mom, you know it?"

I sit down next to him, and hug him close to me.

"Someday, tell him…I saved the world with my death," Jack says.

"The world, Jack?" I ask.

"Mom, it's…" he says.

"Jacob told me some things that he shouldn't have," I begin.

"Are you dating, Jacob?" he asks.

I just smile, "The point is, I think I deserve to know what's happening to you."

"You do mom," he says, and then he actually tells me.

* * *

Charlie

Dad's always been big on the father-son time. I know why. He lost a son once. So I was never surprised that he wants to spend all of his time with me. But this weekend it has been more extreme than normal. I decide that I have to talk about it when I wake up Sunday morning to see him actually watching me sleep.

"Dad," I say.

"Morning Charlie, let's go out for breakfast."

"Dad, you were watching me sleep? That's creepy."

"Come on parents do it all the time."

"Right, to like a newborn baby, not a teenager."

"Well, I didn't get to watch you sleep when you were a newborn baby, considering you never were a newborn baby, so I have to make up the time now."

"Dad, what's going on?" I ask.

He turns away from me, and scrubs his face with his hands, "Charlie you know my job is dangerous, right?"

My stomach falls.

"I…I have something wrong with me, and there is only one person who can fix it, and we haven't been able to get a hold of him. And if we don't find him in a couple of days…"

"No," I say. I had thought of a million different ways that he could die. A million ways, and all of them were things that would happen off world and far away. I never thought it would be a slow, long goodbye. God, that kind of goodbye would be awful for Dad.

"If…ah…Sam'll take you," he mutters.

"You're going to be fine dad," I assure him.

"I want you to know that it was either save the whole galaxy and die in five days or wait seven days and the whole galaxy dies, and I considered two extra days with my son."

"Dad," he says.

He touches my face, "You are my world, Charlie, don't forget that."

* * *

Jack

"So, T," I say as he heads off to help the Jaffa. It sounds like the whole galaxy is under attack, "If I don't see you again…"

"I will see you soon, O'Neill."

"You know something I don't?"

"In fact, it is you that knows something I do not."

"I hope you're right," Teal'c holds out his hand and pulls me into a Jaffa hug.

* * *

I'm working on a crossword puzzle. I actually sent Charlie to school today. I kept him home the last two days. But the real reason is not that I didn't want him to miss anymore school. I know that soon I'm not going to be myself.

"Does this mean anything to you?" Daniel asks shoving a book into my face.

"Nope."

"Could you at least look at it?" he says in frustration.

"Daniel, I don't speak Ancient…yet. And when I do, eventually, you know I'll never understand it," I say. We might as well deal with things as they are.

"You have to try."

"Look, last time things just popped into my fron," I say.

"Fron is head?" Daniel asks. Oh dear, I've started speaking crazy languages.

"Now, see, I have no idea what you're talking about. "

"Well maybe if you stop working on the stupid cross…" he says grabbing my crossword puzzle.

I try to grab it back, but I fail, "Hey, hey….I'd like to at least finish that while I can."

Carter walks into the office, "I thought you were supposed to be…"

"Thirteen across you wrote "taonas"," Daniel points out.

"Yeah. So? What's'at mean?" I ask.

"Ah…I don't know, you tell me. Eight down you wrote "praclarush"," Daniel says.

"What's eight down?" Carter asks.

"Um…label. With those empty spaces I think the answer is supposed to be identification. Thirteen across is sphere. Jack, this is it," Daniel says.

"Now, see I assume we still speak the same language…mostly," I say frustratingly.

"Sphere…planet. Label…name," Daniel says.

"Following…still…you…not!" I say, Yoda like.

"Praclarush taonas. I…I think you wrote the name of the planet where we will find the Lost City in the crossword," Daniel says excitedly.

"Bit of a jump?" I say with raised eyebrows.

"Why else would you do that?" Daniel asks.

"The clue for seven down is "celestial body" and he wrote Uma Thurman," Carter says. As usual she finds my sense of humor hilarious, but she is trying hard not to let on.

"Yes," I sayid grinning at them.

* * *

Sam

We are flying a space ship across the galaxy to get something. Even Jack, who put this into the navigation system has no idea of what we are flying toward.

"Sir, I think you should know that General Hammond authorized me to take command of the team if I determined it …" I tell him as he works on the mechanical device.

"Do it now," he says.

"Sir, I don't think that's necessary yet."

"I trust you…I'll make it easy for you…I resign. You're in charge." He trusts me. I wish I wasn't the kind of person who needed other people to trust them, to believe in them. But I do. I'm desperate for his approval. Hammond's approval. My father's approval.

"Okay," I say, "Sir, at your house before Daniel and Teal'c showed up, what I was gonna say was…"

"I know," he says meeting my eyes for a long minute. He knows, and maybe if he lives we are going to do something differently.

* * *

The Colonel took us all the way across the galaxy to get some crystals, and then all the way back a secret base underneath Antartica.

"Dormata," he says.

"Sleep," Daniel translates.

Suddenly Anubis is in the room. We all fix our guns on him. "You are too late. The power of the Ancients is mine," he says. Jack remains unalarmed. He waves his hand through the projection which vanishes as Anubis says, "Fools!"

"It's a hologram,' Daniel explains.

Daniel and I lower our guns. The Colonel steps near a chair. He takes out crystals that look like the ones we went across the galaxy to get. He hands the dead ones to me. Then he puts the ones from the other planet in their place. The rings activate and we all duck for cover. Two Super Soldiers step out of the rings. Oh do I ever hate those things! We start shooting at them. One goes down quickly. The Colonel doesn't even look at what is going on. He just sits down in the chair. Another two Super Soldiers join the party. The Colonel touches something in the armrest of the chair.

"Sir, whatever you're gonna do…" I plead.

A bright light covers him. He closes his eyes, and the ground below the Super Soldiers disappears. A bunch of yellow things that look like glowy squid fly from the ground, and surround the remaining Super Soldier. Jack opens his eyes. Then he loses consciousness.

"Sir?…Sir?" I plead lifting his head with my hands. As soon as I do it, I can feel his pulse. The only pulse like that I've ever heard of was JD's ultrasounds. But babies are supposed to have fast pulses. Adults are not.

"His pulse is erratic," I tell my team.

Then I tilt his head to me, so he would be able to look right in my eyes if his eyes were open, "Don't you dare leave us now. We won." He opens his eyes and moves his head ever so slightly.

"Colonel!" I plead.

Jack's lips move but no sound comes out. I am getting increasingly desperate, "Please!…Jack!…"

His name. Only the second time his name has ever left my lips. This time he doesn't scold me.

He whispers, "Dormata."

"That thing," Daniel says pointing to a little lighted crevice in the wall. Teal'c carries him over, and props him up on the wall inside of it.

"Now what?" I ask.

"Aveo…amacuse," The Colonel says.

"Good bye," Daniel translates. But I know he's full of crap. I studied quite a bit of Latin the last time Jack started speaking Ancient. He said something about love. Daniel will no doubt tell me later. The crevice closes around Jack, and he looks frozen.

"We can't just leave him like this! There has to be a way to reverse the process. The answer has to be here somewhere," I say sadly.

"I don't think this is it, Sam," Daniel says.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

Daniel looks around the room that we are in, "The dome is too small. It's …Taonas. It's obviously not a city; it's just an outpost of some kind."

"This isn't Atlantis?" I ask even though I really don't care right now. Right now, all I care about is Jack. That's right Jack. From now on he is Jack, ok only in my head, but still.

"I don't think so," Daniel says shaking his head.

"If this is not the Lost City, then where is it?"

I touch my hand to the clear solid surface which encases Jack. Tears spring to my eyes. It looks like he is looking at me. Why couldn't we save him?

* * *

Charlie

I didn't hear Sam come home. Grandma was watching me and Sam's kids while they were away. I got up for a glass of water in the middle of the night, and there she is on the couch, crying over a…Latin dictionary.

"Sam?"

She looks up at me startled and terrified.

"He's gone?" I ask.

"No…not exactly…he's in suspended animation."

I sit down next to her, and put my arm around her.

"I was translating his last words."

"Not his last words, he's coming back."

"Right, 'Course," she says sniffing, "He said you were his love and inspiration."

"No he didn't."

"Pretty sure," she says holding up the book.

"He wasn't talking to me."

She looks at me silently for awhile. "Jack is a good man," she says firmly.

"He is," I repeat. Jack? Geez took them long enough. Why does it take a near death experience for them to realize that they belong together?

"You are lucky to have him as a father."

"Pretty lucky with my mom, too" I say looking at her.

"He'll come home," she assures me.


	28. New Order

Sam

The sun streams through the window and wakes me up. When was the last time I slept past sunrise? I mean besides some night when I went to bed more than a couple of hours before sunrise. What time did I get to bed last night? How come I can't actually remember last night?

I look in the mirror. Long hair. What the hell? My hair was short wasn't it? Again, I'm having a lot of trouble remembering what exactly is my last memory. That is never a good sign.

I get dressed and walk out into the kitchen. I know I've never been here before. A rose on the table. Roses like Pete gave me.

I grab a jacket and go outside. A dog runs toward me. I pet the dog. Pete is a dog person? I'm not a dog person. I figured if I ever ended up with a dog it would be…Jack's dog. But I can't have Jack. I can't have him because he's my commanding officer. I can't have him because I'm with Pete. I can't have him because he's in an alien suspended animation device we don't even understand.

I walk toward a few horses that are in the field. Pete turns to me and smiles.

"Hey sleepyhead. Didn't think you'd ever get up. It was kind of a long night, huh?" He smacks my butt as he turns to feed the horses.

He certainly isn't a perfect imitator of Pete. And I have by now remembered where I last was. Which means the smarmy guy who smacked me in the butt is none other than Fifth!

"Pete."

"What's up? Are you okay? Is something wrong?"

"Yes, everything."

"What do you mean?"

"This. What are you doing here? What am I doing here? Where the hell is here?"

"That was good. You had me, you really had me. Of course, I've been up since five, feeding the pigs and the chickens."

"No, Pete honestly, I don't…"

"What? You don't what?"

"Think this is real."

"You hungry? I'm starving. Come on, we'll go inside, I'll whip you up some pancakes."

"Where are the kids?"

"At school."

"JD?"

"Your Dad took him for the day," I shake my head. I am not buying it. "You don't understand. This isn't happening. The last thing I remember, I was onboard a replicator ship. This is just another way of screwing with my mind."

"Okay, here's what I know. This is not SGC, it's Montana. Nothing weird happens here, not like you're used to. A year ago, you left the Stargate Program because of mental stress and because you wanted to be with me and a farm full of really stinky animals. Since then you've been seeing a shrink because you can't seem to shake the nightmares. You've had a bad one okay? That's it."

He walks up, and gives me a huge kiss. "Did that feel real?"

"Yes."

"Then snap out of it. Okay. Pancakes, or do I have to call the doctor?"

"I am kinda hungry."

"Good. Come on."

* * *

Jack

A flash of images come to my mind. Thor is in trouble. My kid is fine. Sam was stolen by the replicators. God, Sam. No time to grieve. Replicators.

"Hello. Testing, testing. One, two, one, two, one, two, testing. Hellooo. Is this thing on?"

Daniel looks at my body lying in the chamber. "Jack" he asks.

"O'Neill, can you hear us?" Thor says.

"Hey! Hey guys. What's going on?" I say cheerfully.

"Your mind has been interfaced with the _Daniel Jackson_," Teal'c informs me.

"What?" I ask. I may really like Daniel, but I have absolutely no desire to be interfaced with him.

"What?" Daniel asks equally confused.

"The name of Thor's ship is _Daniel Jackson_," Teal'c explains.

"All the information in the ship's computer is available to you," Thor says. Yes, I know. Sam would enjoy this way more than I would. A lot of this information is pretty technical.

"Ah, right, here we go. Oh, this is cool. I can pretty much do anything I want, can't I?" I say. I turn the lights on and off a couple of times.

"O'Neill," Thor scolds in a voice that does not sound like he is scolding.

"Huh? Oh! Sorry," I say.

"If you wish, you may appear to us as a hologram," Thor prompts.

So I make a hologram. They turn around. A shudder runs through me. This is a really strange experience. There is my real unconscious body. Then there is hologram me through whose eyes I see. "Dang!"

"You okay?" Daniel asks.

"It's a little weird. But, yeah, I'm ok," I say.

"At least you're not speaking Ancient."

"There's that."

"Actually, the computer is translating."

"Ah," I say as I walk over, and look at myself in the stasis chamber. So weird! "I've never looked better," I say.

"There is not much time, O'Neill," Thor says.

"Thor's planet…" Teal'c prompts.

"I know. Ship's log," I say.

"Can you help with the replicators?" Daniel says.

"Already on it," I say.

"Jack," Daniel says seriously.

"Daniel. The computer recorded the whole conversation. Thanks for your concern," I say. I can't think about Sam right now. I'll deal with that when I'm home, after having hugged my kid and drank a few beers.

"Talk amongst yourselves," I say making my hologram disappear.

* * *

I finish off the imaginary pancakes which actually did taste quite real, and quite delicious. "Thanks. That was great," I say. 'Pete' takes both of our plates over to the sink, "Tasted very real."

He lets out a big sigh, "Hey, I was thinking we could go into town tonight, have dinner, see a movie."

I shake my head, "Come on. You can't really expect me to just play along."

Pete throws the frying pan into the sink, "I gave up my job for this! I gave up my life for you!"

"See? That is definitely not Pete," I say. Pete is an incredibly sweet guy.

"How patient do you expect me to be," he demands. Pete is never impatient. In fact, I could probably do with him being a little less patient.

I shake my head, "Nothing you say is going to convince me. I know who you are, I just don't understand why. What do you want from me? Why are you doing this?"

Pete quickly turns into Fifth before my very eyes, "Because I love you." Seriously? Love? An evil robot who wants to take over the world thinks he's in love with me?

"Did you really think that you could convince me that this illusion was my life? That I would just accept it?" I demand.

"If it was something you wanted badly enough in your mind," he says. This isn't what I really want. My kids aren't here. There is nothing to work on here. I could never be happy here.

"Is that why you tortured me for so long? So I would want this as an alternative."

"No, I tortured you because I was mad. Why do you think I hated you so much for what you did to me? From the first moment we met, when you let me inside your mind, I saw you like no-one else ever could." Oh, he has no idea how many people have been inside my mind. It's like grand central station in there. And everyone who enters comes out in love. Not sure exactly what that means. But I'd rather have men fall for my brain than my body. But Fifth, yeah, I'd rather he didn't fall for either.

"Human emotions can be very overwhelming. The fact that you feel anything at all is a miracle. It makes you very special," I say. I destroyed him.

He smiles at me, "I'm glad you see that."

"No, you don't understand. I could never be happy this way."

"Then you will be unhappy for a very long time," he says, and I don't doubt him.

* * *

Jack

The last thing I remember before waking up here with an awful headache is being stuck in the head sucker thing. Apparently I missed a lot. Including Sam going missing, and my building a device capable of destroying the replicators.

The computer zooms in on Sam.

"Can you pinpoint her location?" I ask.

"She is within a small replicator structure on the planet. It is some distance outside the colony, near a rich vein of neutronium," Thor says.

"They must be using it to create more human replicators," Teal'c says.

"I thought the ship was destroyed," I thought Sam was dead. She isn't dead!

"At least one of the human replicators must have separated from the main ship, with Major Carter, prior to exiting hyperspace." We have to save her!

* * *

Sam

The last thing I remember I was in the fake farmhouse with Fifth. Now Jack is leaning over me, "You okay?"

"Glad to see you sir."

"Likewise," he says with feeling.


	29. Affinity

Teal'c

It has not been fair to have Rya'c live with me on base. Since he has come to live with me, we have spent more time off base, but it is time to make our permanent residence off base.

It is mere hours from the time that we moved off base that we are witness to a car accident.

"What the hell are you doing?" the driver of a car filled with adolescents queries.

"I was trying to park," the adult who was hit by the adolescent driver replies.

"Huh! Didn't you ever hear of signaling, pal?"

"I did signal."

"Listen man, if you don't know how to drive, maybe you should try staying off the damn road!"

The adolescents are surrounding the driver, "Maybe, if you hadn't have been tailgating me this wouldn't have happened," the older man says.

"Oh, no, you didn't just say that," the adolescent says as he takes hold of the other man by the collar and pushes him against the car.

"Look, man, I don't want any trouble."

"Too late," the adolescent says preparing to strike the man. I grab his arm by way of stopping him.

"This is unlawful behavior," I inform him.

"Who the hell are you?" the adolescent asks.

"Collision procedure dictates that you exchange insurance information and, if necessary, notify the police."

The adolescent laughs, and then asks, "What?"

"This gentleman did indeed signal, which would indicate that it was you who were at fault," I clarify.

"Pal, you'd better learn to mind your own damn business." The adolescent attempts to fight me. He is far worse at boxing than any I have encountered previously, including DanielJackson. I use my head as a weapon which eliminates him as a threat. Those in the car with him attempt to render assistance. I manage to elude their attempts, and strike them.

"Wow!" a young boy watching says, and from my son's face I can tell he is also impressed.

"I believe it will now be necessary to notify the police," I inform the man who was involved in the original altercation.

"Yeah. Thanks."

I bow.

* * *

Daniel

Why does Jack always send me to do his dirty work? Because he is a coward? Why do I always go? Because I'm a coward too? Anyway, I was sent to go scold a 6'2" Jaffa for being himself. I mean Teal'c equals hero, there is no way around it.

"I broke no law. I intervened to prevent a criminal activity and was forced to defend myself."

"You see, that's kind of the point. Look, there's no reason why you shouldn't be allowed to live off base. I mean, especially when you're not carrying a symbiote anymore, but… you're supposed to be keeping a low profile."

"That is not always easy," Teal'c says indicating his forehead.

"I'm not just talking about the tattoo, although I do see how that could be a problem."

"I often cover it, to avoid stares in public. I tell those who have seen it, that it is a tribal mark from my homeland."

"Yes, this is less about appearance, than it is about behavior."

"Have I not conducted myself as a typical member of this community?"

"No, no, actually, no, you haven't. Ummm…besides the other day, there was the incident with the old man and the teenagers in the park. There was that thing with the guy with the pit bull."

"In each case, I was only attempting to render assistance where it was needed."

"You see, that's kinda the problem. Normal human beings are a little more careful about getting involved in business that isn't theirs. I know. That sounds bad, but it's just the way it is, and you can't afford to be drawing attention to yourself."

Teal'c pauses to ponder what is being said. "I understand."

Rya'c enters the room, "Dad, I'm going to use the car, 'kay?"

"What do you need an automobile for?" Teal'c asks.

Rya'c rolls his eyes, "For a date. Dad, seriously, you've been on this planet longer than I have, why can't you talk like a normal person?"

Teal'c looks all offended. Rya'c is almost out the door. "Hold on, what's her name, and when are you going to be back?" I ask him.

Rya'c looks at me with a groan (clearly his father never thinks to ask these questions); "I'll be home when I'm home, and names are fluid things." Door slam.

"And that's ok with you?" I ask Teal'c.

He shrugs his shoulder. I still have a few years before Shifu hits his teens, and I am not looking forward to it based on what I've seen from my friend's kids. Ok, so Jack had it pretty easy with Charlie, but the rest of them were a headache and a half.

There is a knock at the door, and Teal'c turns to answer it saying, "Excuse me."

Behind the door is a beautiful woman who greets him with a "hi."

"Krista," he says with the closest Teal'c gets to a smile. Wait, did Teal'c just refer to someone by only their first name? Holy cow he must like this girl!

"Made you cookies," she offers holding up a bag.

"Please come in," Teal'c invites.

Krista stops cold when she sees me in the apartment, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you had company.""

"Krista James, this is Daniel Jackson," Teal'c says.

We shake hands, "Hi."

"Krista lives in the apartment next door," Teal'c continues.

"Wait a minute, Doctor Jackson? You're the archaeologist who hired Teal'c to come over from Mozambique," Krista says excitedly.

"That's right!" I exclaim.

"Well, then I should thank you. It's been great having him here. It's nice to have a man around who cares about his neighbors," she says.

"Actually, we were just talking about that," I say giving Teal'c a smile.

"In fact, that's why I'm here. The cookies were a bribe. My pipes are doing that thing again."

"Normally, I would be happy to provide assistance, however…" Teal'c starts to hedge.

He is a dense man. "No, no, no, no, no. Don't let me interrupt. I've gotta be going anyway. It's very nice to meet you," I say to Krista.

"Nice to meet you," she offers.

"Ah, Teal'c, that other thing we were talking about, ummm…every rule has its exceptions," I tell him.

* * *

Sam

Cassie left on a date today without letting me meet the guy. I know she's eighteen. I really do know that. So, do I let it go? I mean if she went to college in another state I wouldn't even know. But I really just want to know the name of the guy.

"So, how are things in the galaxy?" Pete asks interrupting my thoughts.

"You know I can't talk about work," I say.

"Sorry. I'm still getting used to the fact that my girlfriend's a superhero."

"A bit of an exaggeration."

"The superhero part? Or the girlfriend part?" I give him a smile, "You travel to other planets to do battle with alien creatures bent on galactic domination. Just because you don't wear a tight spandex outfit doesn't mean that you're not…although…it's an idea you might wanna consider."

I laugh again, "Look, I know this is hard for you. Any other guy would have just freaked out and run away."

"You didn't run away when I stalked you. Anyway, I just want you to appreciate the position I'm in here."

"I do, believe me, and I'm really glad you stuck around."

"I'm glad to hear you say that, 'cos I put in for a transfer to Colorado Springs PD."

More Pete. That's a good thing right? Definitely a good thing. I give him a big kiss. "Are you sure?" I ask.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life. That's why I got you this," he opens up a box to show a glimmering diamond ring. I did not see that one coming.

"Oh, my God!" I exclaim.

* * *

Krista

"I'm sorry to keep asking you to help with my plumbing but the super's never around and my boyfriend's not very handy," I apologize to Teal'c.

"There is no need to apologize." God he is so different from any other man I've ever known. He is helpful, kind, protective. Not very talkative, but when he does talk it's so wise. He's not bad to look at either. But the best thing about Teal'c is that when I'm with him I feel so safe. I don't remember ever feeling safe like this before.

"Anyhow, you'll forgive me once you've tasted my lasagna."

"I'm looking forward to it."

A little boy walks up to him, "Yo, T!"

"Greetings, Eric," Teal'c says doing a complicated handshake.

"I saw you take out those three gorillas the other day. Nice work," Eric says.

"In retrospect it may have been unwise to intervene," Teal'c says.

"Are you kidding? They deserved it," Eric says.

A young man grabs a purse off the top of a woman's car.

"Hey! Hey stop that guy; he's got my purse, hey!" The thief runs by me knocking me to the ground.

"Aren't you gonna do anything?" Eric asks in horror.

"I must not intervene," Teal'c says, but he's obviously torn.

I'm confused. Why isn't he helping? He is always helpful. That is the good thing about Teal'c, "What? You just gonna let him get away?"

He glances at the thief, and back at me. He puts the bag of groceries on the ground, takes a piece of fruit out of it, and hurls it at the guy.

"Oh man! What a shot," the child exclaims.

"How did you do that?" I ask.

"You the man, T!" the kid explains.

The woman whose purse was stolen says, "Thank you. That was amazing."

"That was amazing," I add.

"T, you are the man. Gotta give the man his props."

* * *

Teal'c

Even though I no longer have my symbiote I Kelno'reem. Particularly when I am waiting for my son to return from his courting ritual. Suddenly I hear a noise coming through the walls, "Krista! Krista! Come on, Krista. Listen, listen, listen, just let me in. Just let me in." The pounding goes down the hallway.

I walk into the hallway to see a man standing before the entrance to Krista's apartment.

"Doug, I have to work tomorrow," Krista protests.

"So?" the man says.

"So? You're drunk. Just go home. Please," she pleads.

"No, no, no, I ain't going nowhere."

"Doug…"

"Is there a problem?" I ask firmly.

"This is a private conversation," the man says.

"If it were private, you would not be conducting it in the hallway, nor speaking so loudly," I inform him. A door behind me opens, and Mrs. Connors peeks out.

"It's alright, Mrs. Connors. Just go back inside," Krista commands.

"Do you require assistance?" I ask Krista.

"No, I'm okay," she says.

"Who the hell is this guy?" the man demands.

"His name is Teal'c. He's my neighbor." Krista informs him.

"Teal'c? What kind of a crazy name is that?"

"He just moved here from Mozambique," Krista says.

"Ooh…no doubt."

"Krista has requested that you leave. I suggest you comply," I inform him.

"You better check yourself, before you get hurt," Doug says.

"I have checked. I suggest you leave, before it's you that gets hurt."

"Doug, go sober up," Krista says.

"You know what? I'm gonna call you tomorrow," Doug says as he leaves.

"I'm sorry about that. I hate when he gets that way," Krista says appearing embarrassed as if she had done something wrong."

"This is not the first time. So you have stopped receiving him," I remind her.

"Not exactly. He's not always like that. Since he lost his job, he's just been, you know…" she apologizes.

"I do not," I challenge.

"It's been hard on him."

"And has it not been hard on you?"

"I'm fine."

Rya'c walks by.

"Rya'c, you have returned."

"I'm going to bed dad," he says.

* * *

Daniel

"I do not understand Krista's behavior," Teal'c confides to me after telling me about his neighbor's abusive boyfriend.

"Yeah, it's a common problem. Most cultures on Earth recognize that there's a significant gap between the experiences of men and women. Among the Maasai of East Africa, each newlywed man is required to wear his wife's clothing for a month, as a way of gaining insight into her life," I offer.

"If only it were that simple," Sam says, and I detect a note of bitterness in her voice.

"The point is, while rituals and customs may vary, almost all cultures put significant pressure on single adults to form bonding pairs. In ancient Persia, if a girl died a virgin, they would go so far as to marry her corpse off before burial," I offer.

"That's horrible!" Sam exclaims.

"The groom was usually quite well paid," I offer.

"It's bad enough being on your own without every TV show and commercial and magazine ad trying to tell you how abnormal it is," Sam says.

"I think that's what I just said," I say.

"They make you afraid of being alone but at the same time tell you not to settle for anything less than the perfect romantic ideal, like that actually exists anywhere in the real world. Either way you can't win!" She says with a big sigh. I look at Teal'c in surprise. His eyebrows are raised to the ceiling.

"How's things?" I ask Sam.

"Good. We were talking about Teal'c's friend, right?" she says realizing that she has revealed things she probably didn't mean to.

"I thought we were," I say.

"Teal'c, how do Jaffa couples handle their problems?" Sam says focusing back on Teal'c.

"On Chulak, a dispute between a man and a woman that cannot be resolved necessitates a pledge break. It must be requested by one and granted by the other," Teal'c says.

"And if that doesn't work?" Teal'c asks.

"A weapon is required," Teal'c says.

* * *

Krista

Teal'c is doing that strange martial arts thing he does. I watch him for a little bit until he notices me watching.

"Sorry, I don't want to interrupt you; I just came out for a little air."

"Are you alright?" he asks sounding truly concerned.

"I had another fight with Doug. I told him it's over. I don't want to see him anymore."

"Are you not happy with your decision?"

"I guess it was the right thing to do. But he's not a bad person. He's just going through a tough time."

"You have no cause to feel guilty," he says looking like he can see right through me.

"What was that you were just doing?"

"It is called Lok'nel, an ancient form of martial arts training."

"You think you could teach me?"

He smiles, and does that formal head bowing thing he always does.

* * *

I hear Teal'c knocking on the door.

"Oh, hi," I offer.

"You are late for your next training session," he informs me.

"Yeah, I meant to tell you. I don't think I'm going to be able to train with you anymore," I say awkwardly.

"You have been making tremendous progress," he says.

"Well, I just don't have time, you know?"

"Has something transpired?" he says concerned.

"No, everything's fine. Look, I've gotta go," I say trying to close the door. Teal'c's eyes fall on my wrist, and stops me from closing the door.

"You are injured," he says.

"It's nothing. Please," I beg.

"Krista, who is it?" his voice says from inside of the apartment.

"It's just my neighbor," I explain.

Doug opens the door and says in his rudest voice, "Oh yeah? The plumber. I'll handle this."

"Doug, it's not…" I try to explain.

"I said, I'll handle it!" Doug explains. Our neighbor peers out of the door.

"Don't think I don't know what's been going on around here. She told me everything," Doug says to Teal'c.

"Are you the one who injured her?" Teal'c says.

"What goes on between me and Krista, it ain't none of your business," Doug spouts.

"If you ever injure her again, I will kill you where you stand," Teal'c says leaving.

* * *

Jack

"Carter," I say as I enter her lab to see her typing at a computer.

"Sir."

"I never thought I'd hear myself utter these words. I need that report."

"Right. Um, I just need to finish typing up my notes," she says searching across her desk, "Uh…yeah, I'll have it for you first thing tomorrow."

"It is tomorrow."

"Oh."

"Where are the kids anyway?"

"Your mom is watching JD, and Cassie is on a date."

"She's not still on a date?" I ask in alarm.

She shrugs, "I don't know, probably."

"Who is this guy?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know!" I ask in horror.

"Look, she's eighteen. She's in college. I don't think I can really tell her when to be in or who to spend time with. She doesn't have a class until eleven tomorrow."

"If you don't tell her, Uncle Jack, sure as hell will."

"Jack," she says.

"Right," I say, "Anyway, I was joking, I don't need the report."

"Well then, why…."

"Because something's going on with you. You haven't tried to confuse me with any scientific babble for the last couple of days and that's a red flag to me."

Sam lets out a huge sigh, and hands a ring box to me, "Pete gave me this."

I open it up. Right, an engagement ring. It's like being punched in the stomach. But at least she doesn't have it on. "People normally wear these on their fingers."

"I haven't said yes."

"And yet, you haven't said no."

"I told him I needed to think about it."

"And?" I say putting down the ring box. I have to have it out of my hands, because right now I have the urge to throw it across the room. The ring first, Pete next and then whoever is dating little Cass.

"That was two weeks ago," she says.

"Ah!" Don't grin O'Neill.

"You know, all these years I've been concentrating on work I just assumed that one day I would…"

"Have a life?"

"Yeah. And now it comes down to it, I don't know. I mean, every time we go through the gate we risk not coming back. Is it fair to put somebody else through that? I mean I already put my kids through it."

"Pete is a cop. I think he could handle it."

"What about you? If things had been different…"

"I wouldn't be here," I say. I can't have her. She needs someone. Someone to help her raise the kids. Someone to love her. Someone who can actually be there for her. I can't be there for her.

* * *

Teal'c

Rya'c and I enter our apartment building to see Krista sitting on the floor.

"Krista," I say.

She stands up and wipes some tears off her face, "Hey, I was waiting for you."  
"I'll see you later, Father," Rya'c says passing by me into the room.

"Has something happened?" I ask her.

"No, I'm fine. It's just, it's over with Doug. For real this time. I'm sorry about what happened before," Krista says.

I wipe the tears off her cheeks with my thumb.

"I need to get out of here. I can't even think in this place. Will you come with me?"

"Perhaps tomorrow."

"No, now. Tonight. We'll just get in the car and drive. We'll take the whole weekend. It doesn't even matter where we end up, as long as it's away from here. Please," she pleads.

I nod my head.

* * *

Krista

I know what I'm doing is wrong. I mean Teal'c is possibly the most moral guy I've ever known, and I'm using him to flee from a murder rap.

"Thanks for getting me out of there. I just couldn't be in that place tonight," I tell him. God, the blood. I can't believe I did it. And I used what he taught me to do it too.

"Where do you wish to go?" he asks.

"Just keep driving," I say. He looks in the rear-view mirror, "What? What is it?"

"I do not wish to alarm you but I believe that we are being followed," he says.

"Who would be following us?"

"Perhaps Doug," he says sounding concerned.

"No," I say quickly. I know it is not Doug, because he's currently in a bloody, crumpled mess on the floor of my apartment. God, I killed him.

"He doesn't know I'm gone yet."

"Then they are most likely following me."

What? "You? Why would anyone be following you?"

"It is difficult to explain," I look back, and see a car following us. If they are following him it might still result in my being caught.

"Can you lose them?" I ask nervously.

"I believe so. However, it will require me to violate posted speed limits and several safe driving regulations."

"I'm okay with that," I say. He looks at me.

"Hold on." He says pressing the gas pedal down hard. Wow! He can drive! There is nothing about this man that I don't like.

* * *

We found a hotel room to hide in. I shut a door, and Teal'c shuts the curtains, "Don't tell me you learned how to do that back in your village."

"There are aspects of my life which I am not at liberty to divulge."

"What are you? A spy or something? One thing's for sure, you're not really Doctor Jackson's research assistant. That much I figured after about 30 seconds."

"Krista…" he says playing a finger on my lips. I like the feeling of his gentle touch.

"It's okay. For now, I'm just glad you're here," I say. I lean forward and kiss him. He kisses back, but there is no possession in the kiss. He isn't trying to own me, to control me. He's tall, and strong, but he's gentle. He would never hurt me.

* * *

Pete

"Hi," I say as Sam meets me at the park.

"Thanks for meeting me."

"No problem."

"Pete, I'm sorry," the smile leaves my face. I should have known not to push her. She's not ready to marry me. I never should have asked.

"I need a little more time. Look, you know how I feel about you, it's just…there's some things I need to work out."

"Okay."

"Anyway, that's not what this is about."

"It's not?" Of course not, two weeks is no time to leave a guy hanging about the most important thing in the world.

"No. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't so important."

"What's going on?"

"I need your help. Teal'c is being accused of murder."

* * *

Pete

Ok, so I helped rescue Sam's friend and now the people who were holding him captive have disappeared into thin air.

"So, it's normal for the bad guys to just disappear into thin air, right?" I ask Sam.

"Not really. Although, now that I think about it, it's not the first time it's happened."

"Just another day at the office."

"Yes."

"Figures you should be used to it by now."

"No, I mean, yes."

I look at her. I can't believe it. I really wasn't thinking she would say yes. "Yes, as in?"

"Yes," she says and I pull her close to me.

"Are you messing with me?" I ask.

"No."

"Which means?"

"Yes."

"You don't need more time?"

"No."

"Therefore…"

Her face breaks into a wide grin, "Yes," she says giving me a huge hug and kiss.

* * *

Krista

"Be careful with that package, Eric. Its contents are…" Teal'c says as the kid drops the box off of his skateboard, "…fragile," he finishes.

"Sorry," Eric says.

"There is no need for an apology," Teal'c says picking up the box, "I am grateful for your assistance."

"Hey!" I offer.

"So, you guys really leaving," I ask sadly.

"Indeed we are."

"You know, you don't have to do this. The whole thing was my fault." That is the understatement of the year. I killed my boyfriend.

"There is no need to blame yourself."

"So, where are you gonna go?"

"Back to where I came from."

"What does that mean?"

"It means I must say goodbye."

* * *

Jack

I have been on lots of different stakeouts with Sam. But this one is different. First of all it is just me and her (which is a little bit dangerous now that she is engaged) and secondly because we're staking out her daughter. If I don't meet Cassie's new boyfriend I am probably going to explode.

"So you're wearing the ring," I say. We'd better talk about it.

"Yeah, Pete is a good guy," she says.

"He is."

"Of course, I told him about Cassie, and he told me I should leave it alone," she says pausing, "I mean, you called your mother to watch the baby, and brought over donuts and coffee and hid with me in the bushes."

"Yeah, well I think of Cassie like a daughter," I say.

She bites her lip, and looks at me carefully, "And Pete doesn't."

My stomach is twisted into a thousand knots. "Maybe he will."

"He wants to have more kids."

"And you don't?" I ask looking at her. That sort of surprises me.

"Well," she sighs, "I do. But I don't want to have more kids, because the ones I have aren't good enough. Or because…I don't know if I have another kid, I want it to be because I really want to see what a mix of me and the guy I have a kid with would be like." She's looking at me.

"And Pete?"

"Sorry, he's a great guy."

I stare ahead in silence for a little bit. "Divorce sucks Carter." I pause, "Particularly for kids." I pause again, "Particularly if their step dad would be out of their life afterword."

She doesn't say anything for a long time. A car pulls up. A man steps out and walks around to open the door for her. Well, at least the guy is polite. Wait?

"Rya'c?" I ask.

He turns looking surprised.

"Cassie, you're dating Rya'c?" I ask.

"Indeed," Rya'c says with a grin. I pull him into a Jaffa handshake/hug.

"Cassie, this is the boy you were hiding from me?" Sam asks pulling her daughter into a hug.

"Your father know?" I ask.

"No, we just didn't want to make this into a big deal until we were sure it was going to last."

"Why? It's not like the two oldest SG-1 kids are dating or anything!" Sam gushes.

"And that," Cassie waves her hands around, "Was what we were afraid of."

"Your mom is not going to be overexcited," I say. But clearly I'm lying, "But you should still get Cassie home before eleven." I say fixing a glare at him.

"Yes, Sir," he says.

"I can't believe you can intimidate someone whose father is Teal'c!" Cassie says.

"Maybe we can get Teal'c to intimidate her," Sam says with a smile pointing at her daughter.


	30. Threads

Sam

I've never been so nervous in my entire life, and I'm not the one who should be nervous.

"Hey!" I say as Pete steps out of the elevator.

"Hi! Thank you, Airman," I say dismissing his guard. Pete kisses my cheek.

"So, this is exciting. What's the surprise?"

"You'll see," I say as we start walking down the corridor.

"Do I get to go through the Stargate? I mean, what planet are we going to?" he says with a great deal of excitement.

"You don't get to go through the Stargate."

"Okay. I'm a little disappointed. Still, full security clearance and an all access pass to the SGC? This must be big."

"Oh, it's big,' I say. I open the doors to the quest quarters. Dad stands up as we walk in, "Pete Shanahan. Jacob Carter. Dad, this is Pete."

"Dad?" he asks in shock.

"Not quite yet. You have to actually marry my daughter before you can call me that." What the hell? Jack call him Dad all the time!

"I was just… I meant…stammer, stammer. It's an honor to meet you, Sir," he says stepping forward and shaking Dad's hand, "Really." Then he turns to me, "Why didn't you tell me?"

I grin, "I didn't want you to be nervous," I lie.

"Why would I? I wouldn't. I… I've been dying to meet you."

"I think it was Sam that was nervous."

"How did not telling me help?" he asks me.

"It didn't." Pete and Jacob are sizing each other up. This is horrible. Jacob is giving him the look he used to give my high school boyfriends, and Pete is grinning like an idiot.

"This is great! You really got one of those things in your head?" I flinch, and the stupid smiles falls of Pete's face.

"If by one of those things, you mean a 2,000 year old Tok'ra symbiote. Yes."

"Seriously. Come on… that has got to freak you right out sometimes. It's weird." I shake my head. Jacob continues to fix a glare at Pete for a few long moments. Then he looks at me. It's his, "really?" look. Like the one he gives me when he doesn't believe a cover story. Then he turns back to Pete who is still grinning like an idiot.

* * *

I was completely relieved when Pete said he had to go. So now it is just me and Dad sitting down to eat. "So, you gonna visit Mark and the kids this trip?"

"Tomorrow." Dad says smiling. But it's sort of a sad smile.

"Is everything okay?"

"I'm just not very hungry," Jacob says putting down his knife and fork.

"You've been pretty quiet."

"I'm fine," Dad says taking a drink of water.

"Dad…"

He gives me another fake smile, "What?"

"It's been two hours since Pete left, you haven't said a word."

"I did so."

"'He seems nice'?"

"I believe that's three words."

"I'm gonna marry him."

"I know. I just met him. What do you want me to say? I know how happy he makes you. That's all that matters to me."

I still don't think he's telling the truth, but I am going to let it go. I nod, "Okay."

"Selmak really liked him."

"Selmak?"

"Yeah, and he's a great judge of character."

"Well, okay."

"Look, Sam, I'm tired. It's been a long day. I think I'm gonna turn in early."

"You sure nothing else is wrong?"

"Yeah. I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight." Dad gets up to leave, and I know that something else is going on. I wish I knew what was going on.

* * *

There are a whole lot of things that I love about Sam. She has one really big flaw though. She has the worse taste in guys. Out of all the losers she's brought home to meet me Pete is by far the very best. I still don't like him.

I grin across the briefing table at Jack. Jack I like. I know the frat regs. I have always believed in the frat regs. But you know what? Now that I know I'm dying, I don't care about the frat regs.

Sam's phone keeps ringing during the briefing.

"I'm sorry, I thought I turned it off," Sam apologizes. We continue the briefing about five minutes later Walter Harriman enters. He stands behind Jack, and clears his throat. Jack turns to look at him.

"Yes?"

"Sorry to interrupt, Sir," he says turning to Sam.

"Colonel? There's a call for you. Apparently it's urgent." Jack gives a nod to Sam, who looks completely embarrassed as she apologizes and grabs the extension.

Over the briefing I hear Sam say into the phone, "Yeah, I know, it's just that it's not a good time right now. I know, I'm sorry. I don't know, it could be an hour, it could be all day. Yeah, okay. Yeah, me too. Bye." She hangs up the phone, and heads back to the table, "Sorry about that, Sir," she says to Jack.

"Emergency?" Jack asks.

"No, no. Just a misunderstanding," she says still embarrassed.

"Hey, weren't you supposed to meet Pete at the florist this morning?" I ask earning me a killer look from my daughter.

"No…Dad."

"No, I'm sure that's what you said. For the wedding." I have already figured out that my daughter doesn't like to hear that word. Doesn't she figure out that that is a bad sign.

"I know!" she says shaking her head at me.

"Go ahead, Carter. It's supposed to be your day off, anyway." Jack says. He knows as well as I do that my daughter does not take days off.

"It's okay, Sir." She says.

"Teal'c and Bra'tac are meeting with the Jaffa. There's nothing to do around here. Go pick flowers!" he says giving her a big smile. Carter lets out a huge sigh, and glares at me.

"What?" I say with fake innocence.

* * *

Pete

Sam is staring out the window of my car.

"Chocolate or vanilla?" I ask.

"I'm sorry, what?" she says.

"Chocolate or vanilla? The cake. Just in case you can't make the meeting with the caterer."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I really do want to be a part of this."

Why does she feel the need to say that? "I hope so. It's your wedding too."

"I know."

I smile, "I realize this must be weird for you. Worrying about place settings when we could be destroyed by aliens at any minute."

"A little," she admits, and I can still see she isn't completely paying attention.

"We're not about to be destroyed by aliens, are we?"

"No."

"'cause, you seem a bit distracted."

"I'm sorry."

"So, your Dad like me?"

"Of course! Why wouldn't he?" she says so enthusiastically that I know that she was lying.

"Tough guy to read."

"You just have to get to know him."

"How about Selmak?"

"Ah! He thought you were very charming."

"For a human." Her father is a freaking alien! I mean seriously scariest meeting the parents ever!

"Well, generally speaking, that's my type." She says. But from what I know about her past boyfriends that isn't entirely accurate.

"Good. Did I tell you I also have a surprise for you?"

"No, what is it?"

"Tricky. You'll see." She grins at me.

* * *

Sam

"Can I open them now?" I say. Pete had for keeping my eyes closed for surprises.

"Almost." He says. I hear a car door shut, and he leads me forward a couple of steps.

"Okay, now." I open my eyes. There is a house. My house. A beautiful house. The one I told him I wanted. It's perfect. Except…my house is supposed to be full of Jack, and Charlie, and JD, and future kids. Pete doesn't belong in my dream house.

"What do you think?"

"Uh, well, uh…"

"Speechless, huh?" he asks giddily.

"Yeah. Yeah."

"Isn't it great? Remember our first night together? You described the house you always wanted?"

"I can't believe this," I say as we take a few steps toward the house.

"The kitchen isn't yellow, but we can paint. 'Come on, I'll show you."

Pete walks into the house, but I'm still standing on the front lawn.

"And you're not gonna believe the back yard. The dog's gonna love it." T he dog. The dog like Fifth had at the farmhouse when he was pretending that he was Pete. Jack has a dog. But that is different. It's a dog that already exists. A dog that I already love. I hate dogs in theory. And I don't want to have a dog with Pete. I'm not actually a dog person.

"Dog? Oh." I stammer stupidly.

* * *

Ok, it's now or never. I'm not going to sit outside of Jack's house forever. I'm really not. I'm going to go inside, and talk about the thing we never talk about. Jack. That's right, I'm calling him Jack from now on. Jack is barbecuing some meet.

"Hi, Sir." I say nervously.

"Carter!" he greets cheerfully.

"Look, I'm sorry to bother you at home like this, but um…"

"How did you know I was here?"

"I saw the smoke."

"Oh, yeah," he says wiping his face on his sweater.

"Look, is this okay? I mean, I could have called first."

"No, yeah. I mean, it's fine. So, um… what brings you to this neck of the woods on such a fine day, in my backyard?"

"Well, actually, I've… ummm…" I clear my throat. You know what, it's time to start telling the truth, "I've been sitting in your driveway for the last ten minutes, trying to work up the nerve to come and talk to you." Jack is looking at me with his eyebrows raised, "The truth is, I've been trying to work up the nerve for a lot longer than that."

"Oh?"

"Pete put a down-payment down on a house."

"Well, that's great!" Why does he have to sound so darn cheerful about it? If he hadn't sounded so darn cheerful every step along this story the whole relationship might have gone differently.

"It's a beautiful house," I hedge.

He finally notices there is something wrong in my voice, "But…" he prompts.

"The… the truth is, I'm having second thoughts about the wedding."

Jack looks completely shocked, "Why?"

"See, the thing is, the closer it gets, the more I get the feeling that I'm making a big, huge mistake."

Jack is glancing at the house nervously, "Look, Carter, I don't know what…"

"I'm sorry to bother you with this, but uh, see, there's actually a very good reason that I'm bothering you with this, and if I don't tell you now, I might never…" The door opens up and Kerry Johnson from work comes out of the house.

I think I'm going to hurl. Oh God~

"Jack, I looked everywhere, but I could not fi…" she says. She stops in the middle of the sentence when she sees me, "Colonel Carter." She says politly.

"Miss Johnson." Jack introduces.

"Yeah, I..I didn't…" I stammer

"We were just meeting here, in my backyard on this fine day, to discuss the state of affairs," Jack says. I can't believe he just used that word.

"Well, this is awkward," Kerry says.

"Ya think?" Jack says.

"Jack didn't want anyone at the SGC to know about… us." Kerry explains, but I can already tell she's figured the whole thing out.

"No! Look, I..I…uh…I'm sorry, this is my fault, I really, I shouldn't have come by unannounced like this." I stammer.

"Well, you know, now that the cat's out of the bag, you're here, why don't you just stay? I'm sure there's enough charred meat on the grill for all three of us." Kerry says glancing at Jack who is turning the burnt meat on the grill.

"No, thank you, I um…" I say. The phone rings, I look at it, "It's the SGC." I answer the phone. It's my dad. It turns out him not liking Pete wasn't the only reason he's been acting strange lately.

* * *

Jacob

"Dad?" Sam says walking into the infirmary.

"I'm sorry, kiddo. We both are." I say as she sits down next to me on the bed.

"About what? What's going on?"

"I don't want to ruin everything like this."

"Dad?"

"It's Selmak. He's dying."

"Oh, my God, I'm sorry!"

"It's okay. He's okay. He led a pretty full life."

"I didn't live with Jolinar that long, but I think I have some idea of what it's like."

I stop her, "Well, this is a little different, Sam. As you know, when a Tok'ra symbiote dies, they can prevent their host from dying, as Jolinar did with you." She nods her head, "The problem is, that last selfless act requires a certain amount of energy and a conscious effort."

"What are you saying?"

"By all rights, Selmak should have been dead weeks ago. I wouldn't let him go. I thought we needed him, that I needed him to help you stop the Replicators."

"Dad?" she asks despertly.

"He hung on as long as he could. Then he slipped into a coma just after we activated the weapon on Dakara."

"You've known all this time, since then?" my baby girl says with tears in her eyes.

"I didn't want to spoil your wedding. Now, I thought we could make it," I thought I would be coming here to see my daughter marry the right guy. Instead I got to meet the wrong guy, and then die. But maybe it will stop her wedding, and maybe that will be a good thing.

"We?"

"He's barely alive. I'm gonna die with him, Sam." Sam starts to cry. God, I didn't want to hurt her. I wish I could live. Live until she's happy. That's what I wanted the first time I was dying. And I found out that she was already professionally happy. I want to see her personally happy before I die as well. And I really don't think that Pete is going to do that for her.

* * *

Sam

"I can't believe there's nothing they can do. They can remove a Goa'uld. In the last few years you've almost perfected the process of saving the host," I plead. We thought he was dying before, and we managed to find a miracle cure, why can't we find a miracle cure now?

"That process instantly kills the symbiote before it releases toxins. It's too late for that, Sam. I'm sorry. I hate to do this to you, but I should have been dead four years ago. Since then, I've been all over the galaxy. I've done things most men never dream of."

"I've heard that before."

"I just want to know you're gonna be happy."

"I am," I say trying to make my voice sound confidant, but the truth is I am not too sure I am going to be happy.

"Don't let rules stand in your way." Does he mean? No way. Air force general. I'm putting thoughts in his head if I think he meant that.

"What are you talking about?"

"You joined the Air Force because of me."

I smile. That is one thing about my life I have never regretted. That and my children, "I love my job."

Dad nods his head, and puts a hand gently on my cheek, "You can still have everything you want."

"I do, Dad."

And he gives me that 'oh really' look that plainly says he doesn't believe me. I hold his hands, "Really." And it will be true, even though it isn't quite true yet.

* * *

Jack

I can't believe. Carter dropped by my house to say. To say exactly what? That Pete isn't the one/ That she needs to tell me that Pete isn't the one, because…why? She didn't exactly get to the because. I mean I can guess what the because was, but then am I putting words in her mouth.

I tell you, we really never talk about the thing we never talk about. Sometimes I wish we could just get the whole thing out in the open. But if we did, and couldn't move forward with it would only make us worse. Not to mention that it would technically be against the frat regs jjust to talk about it.

Kerry comes into my office, "How's Colonel Carter's father?"

"It doesn't look good." God. Jacob is dying. That is a though I've tried to avoid thinking.

"Sorry to hear that," she says closing the door.

"Closing the door."

"Yeah, deeply symbolic."

"Really?" I ask. I'm kind of glad she's going to be the one breaking up with me. When Sam was with Pete it felt healthy to be dating Kerry. Now it just feels like cheating.

She smiles at me, "I really like you. We're good together."

I stand up. Might as well push her to getting to the point, "Yes. We are. But…"

"You have issues. It's okay, we all do. There's just one big one in particular that I don't think I can love with… live with. I need to get out before I get more involved. We can still work together, can't we? I'd hate to have to ask for reassignment. This is really important to me. We agreed this would never affect the job."

"We did."

"Good."

She is almost to the door, before she turns and says, "You know, there's just one thing I don't understand."

"Just one?" I tease. She doesn't laugh at my jokes. There is only one woman on the planet who laughs at my jokes. And she just broke off an engagement.

"Is the Air Force the only thing keeping you two apart? Rules and regulations? Because if it is, you're making a very big mistake."

"And you know what I should do?" I ask. I could actually use some advice. Not the nudging advice my mom gives me every time I bring up her name. But some advice I could really use.

"Retire."

"Again."

"Don't get me wrong, you're considered invaluable to the program by the Pentagon, but the President has appointed a civilian to run the SGC before. Just a thought."

* * *

Sam

I am sitting up in the observation room watching Meg say goodbye to Dad. Neither of them have ever admitted there was anything between them, but we'd have to be pretty stupid not to have figured it out by now.

Jack walks into the room and sits down next to me.

"You okay?" I ask.

I'm almost in tears as I tell him, "Actually, I'm fine. Good even, strange as that sounds. I thought I lost him four years ago. Since then we've been closer then we ever were my whole life. In a way, Selmak gave me the father I never thought I'd know."

"Come'ere." He says putting his arm around me. God I needed a hug right then.

"Thank you, Sir."

"For what?"

"For being here for me."

"Always." Always. Jack has always been there for me.

* * *

Pete

Right. How stupid could I be? How many signs did I miss? I mean I suppose I just thought I was lucky. Samantha Carter for God's sake! So I just ignored the fact that she was in love with her commanding officer, because I was stupid enough to think it wouldn't matter.

"I knew from the beginning. Guess I just thought when you said yes that… that you were worth the risk. Don't say I deserve better. Can't get much better then you."

She shakes her head. She has never liked compliments, "That's not true."

"I wish I could believe this had something to do with your father. You needed some time to sort things out." I look carefully at her, but she still doesn't meet my eyes. If she told me then that this was what it was I'd wait for her. But I am so glad that she isn't going to lie to me, "I guess all I can say is, I hope you get what you want."

"That's it?" I ask.

That's it! "What do you want? You want me to get down on my knees and beg?" I as angrily.

"God, no, of course not. It's just, I thought you would react differently," she says placing a hand on my arm. I'm really hoping I don't cry. I think that she wanted the anger. That somehow if I am mad at her it absolves her of some of the guilt.

"Bye, Sam." I say.

"Pete…" she calls after me. I walk over to the sign and pull of the "sold" revealing the "for sale" sign. One part of my life closed.

* * *

Jack

Eight years. It took me eight years to get Sam to go fishing with me.

"This is great." Carter says.

"I told you," I say with a grin.

"Can't believe we didn't do this years ago," Sam says.

All that wasted time, "Yes, well, let's not dwell."

There is a long pause, "There are no fish in this pond are there?"

"Nope," I admit. Sam laughs. The one woman on this planet or any other that actually laughs at my jokes. Daniel and Teal'c walk around the side of the cabin and set up their chairs. I can't believe I got Teal'c to come back here. He had a pretty extreme mosquito fear after the whole almost turned into a bunch of big bigs incident.

"Nice." I say.

She bites her lips. "Jack. Kerry didn't mind you leaving the weekend?"

"Kerry and I are over," I say. She nods in a sort of way that implies she already knew.

"Charlie didn't come?" she asks.

I shrug. "You know he's a junior in high school, he's got better things to do that fish with his old man."

"JD sure loved fishing with you," she says. That is all her son has done. The only reason he isn't here now is that he's sleeping.

"Yeah," Jack smiles, "I love that kid."

"Yeah?" she says. She's looking all nervous. Sam doesn't look nervous very often. "That all you love?" he asks.

"No," I stay firmly.

"You know what Dad told me before he died?" she asks. I shake my head, "He told me not to let the rules stay in my way."

I look at her carefully.

"I don't think I can take his advice exactly. I mean…I don't have that much guts."

"Sam…" I try to stop her.

"I am thinking of becoming a civilian consultant."

"Sam, I was offered a job in Washington."

"Oh," she says, and I can tell she is having trouble breathing. She's looking away from me.

"Major General."

"Good sir, you deserve it," she says with a smile, but her eyes are wet.

"Didn't say I was taking it Carter. Charlie would have to do his senior year in another school."

She flinches. Air for brat. "That…is hard sir."

"I know. And mom moved to be near her grandkids. It wouldn't be fair to ask her to do it again. Especially right after she's lost the only person she's cared about since my father forty years ago. Plus I wouldn't want to be that far from JD," I pause, "or you."

She looks at me surprised.

"Major General."

"I started out enlisted, Carter," I say.

She glances at me surprised. I thought she knew that about me, but apparently not. "I've got an awful lot of promotions in my life. One more or less won't matter to me too much."

"Sir, you deserve it. And if we're going to…I should be the one."

"Naw, Carter. You are going to make General. You're not giving that up, for a worn out flyboy like me," I say.

"Jack." My first name.

"Sam, I've had my letter of resignation written for eight years."

She looks at me, and she looks like she is going to cry again. Suddenly she grabs my hand.

A huge grin covers my face.

"Sam…you're sure this isn't just because of your Dad. Or because of Pete?"

"I wrote my letter of resignation the day I met you Jack."

I let go of the hand I'm holding, and grab her hand with my other one. That allows me to wrap my other arm around her and pull her close. Daniel and Teal'c let out whoops. I turn back to them and grin. Sam takes her free hand, and lifts it up in a symbol for them to shout louder. Our friends happily comply.


	31. The Four Hoursemen

Jack

"Ah, but we have to have cake," I insist.

"I don't think so, Jack," she says. I never knew how much of a GIRL Sam was before I started dating her. I mean when she's at work or hanging out with the team she's 'one of the guys'. She can beat me at pool, and arm wrestling, and drinking contests.

But when you get her in a date sort of environment she is pretty feminine. She wears skirts whenever she's wearing civilian clothes unless she is planning on riding her indian that day. Although at least she wears practical shoes, no insane high heals. But she won't eat desert for fear of losing her figure (except for jello, jello doesn't count). And she loves chick flicks.

"It's our four month anniversary," I remind her.

"Jack, I really never picture you as the kind of guy who kept track of those things."

"Well," I say.

She gives me a critical look.

"Just have some cake. Cake is always a good thing," I insist.

"Why is this so important to you?" she asks as the waiter sets it in front of her. She uses her fork to slice a thin piece off the cake. It clinks against medal. Her eyes go huge. She drops the fork, and uses her fingers to pick up the ring. She takes the napkin, and carefully whips the cake off of it.

"Jack," she says breathlessly.

I smile, "Sam, I'm not very good at this."

"Yes," she says. Last time she debated it for two weeks, and this time she doesn't even wait two seconds.

"I also wanted to adopt, JD, if that's ok with you. And him."

"Yeah, he adopted you even before he was born. This is…right, Jack. All of this is right," she says extending her hand to me and offering the ring. I put it on her.

She leans way over the table to kiss me. Then she pulls back and studies me for a moment. She's making me nervous, what could I have done to make things go wrong so quickly? "I told you once that…I would consider having another kid if…if it was the right guy. You're the right guy. I mean I would understand if you didn't want to."

"I mean it is kind of strange. You've got one kid in college, and mine will be there in two years. But we also have a little one who will be going to preschool next year. Yeah, I'd like another kid."

She grins even bigger. "I'm happy, Jack, are you happy?"

"Yes, very happy," he says. "And I haven't seen you look like this since you got the naquada generator to work."

"Oh, this is way better than that." Suddenly her eyes light up, "Oh, we have to tell your mother!"

I laugh. "We get engaged and the first person you want to tell is MY mother."

"You didn't already tell her did you?" she says sounding disappointed.

"She has no clue," I say.

Sam whips out her phone, "Meg," she says. "No, we're fine. I just wanted to let you know that Jack and I are getting married." I hear my mom squeal and Sam joins her. Sam squealed. Like I said, girly!

I grab onto her hand, and she grins at me.

"We'll be home later Meg, you can gush some more then," she says hanging up the phone.

"Samantha," I say as she leans in for another kiss. Her phone goes off.

"Carter…no…" I warn.

She shoots me an apologetic look before flipping it open, "Carter." Her face goes grave. "I'm sorry she says after she hung up."

"You need to go into work," I say.

"Yeah, plague taking over the planet."

"Stay safe, Sam," I say lightly touching her hand.

* * *

Sam

I am trying really hard to concentrate on work. But I'm engaged. Yes, I've been engaged before but…not to Jack.

"Look, I…I'm sorry, the only thing I can confirm with any kind of certainty is that sleep deprivation definitely has an adverse effect on all brain function. Um, I'm going to get some coffee. Do you want anything?" Dr. Lee says.

"No, I'm good," I say. Lee leaves the room.

"You're so close," I voice says.

"I know," I say. Wait, who exactly said that? I turn to see a boy who is about eleven or twelve years old.

"Hello, Sam. It's good to see you again. I've missed you."

"Who are you?" I ask. I'm spinning my head through all of our kids friends. But that doesn't make sense. How would they get onto a secure base?

"I had no choice but to take this form. It's me, Orlin." Oh God. Orlin.

"I…I…I should tell someone about this.

* * *

Orlin sits in an interrogation room while we look on.

"As far as I can tell, he's a normal human adolescent," Lam says.

"Who claims he's an Ancient who has descended and taken human form," Landry says.

"There really is no other explanation, sir, for how he could've gotten into the base, or know the things he knows. I'm pretty sure he's given us the key to finishing the anti-Prior technology Dr. Lee and I were working on." I tell them. "Haven't told Jack yet either," I say looking at Daniel meaningfully.

"This is JD's father, correct?" Landry asks.

Lam's eyes go huge.

"Uh, well…y-yeah he is, but uh, he didn't look like that…He was…"

"Taller?"

I smile, "He was a grown man. Uh…I haven't told him yet.

"Ah. So why come back as a boy this time?"

"He said he had no choice, sir. He had to take a younger form in order to preserve as many of the Ancient memories as possible."

"The knowledge he possessed as an ascended being was too massive for a normal human brain to handle. We're guessing that having a younger brain gave him a slightly better chance of retaining the knowledge a little longer."

"That makes sense, actually. The neural make-up of a still developing mind has the potential for better memory retention than that of an adult," Lam says.

"Ultimately, sir, he says he will lose most of the knowledge. Sir, I think he's taken a huge risk just to be here. We should at least hear him out," I say.

* * *

Daniel

Wow, Sam hasn't told Orlin he has a kid. She hasn't told Jack that the child of her son is back in her life. And I'm supposed to do an interview with him.

"I'm sorry—aren't you breaking some major cosmic rules here? I mean, why did the Others let you go without wiping your memory clean?" I ask.

"Honestly, I don't really know. I guess enough of them felt it was necessary for someone to step out of line and warn you," he says, and he keeps looking at Orlin.

"I'm assuming you're talking about the Ori. We're already aware of the threat they pose," she says trying to keep his eyes off of her.

"Believe me, you don't know everything. A long time ago, the Ori and the Alterans were one society, human, on an evolutionary path to ascension, but a philosophical division grew. The Ori grew more and more fervent in their religious belief. The Alterans…for lack of a better way of putting it…believed in science. The Ori tried to wipe them out," Orlin says.

"So instead of going to war, the Alterans built a ship, left their galaxy, and came here. Uh, we know that both the Alterans and the Ori eventually ascended, and that the Ori passed on a religion called "Origin" to the next evolution of humans they created," Daniel says.

"Yes, but the central promise of the religion, everything Origin's followers devote themselves to, is a lie," Orlin announces.

I say in shock, "Are you saying that the Ori _don't_ offer their followers ascension?"

"No. Most certainly not. Then they'd have to share." Orlin declares. Interesting.

"Share what?" Sam asks.

"The power they sap from those who worship them," Orlin says.

"Wha—how is that possible? I mean, are you-are you saying there's a real, physical transfer of energy to the Ori that occurs simply through a human being's belief in them?" Sam says. I can tell by Sam's face, she's having one of those existential this isn't thought physics works moments."

""Simply" is not how I would put it. It's quite complicated, but possible." Hey, finally I'm not the only person in the galaxy that is getting patronized, "And for it to have a measurable effect, it requires massive numbers of humans relinquishing their will. Nevertheless, it is one of the main reasons the Ancients have so strongly believed in strict non-interference in the lower planes."

"Because the temptation to manipulate and align lower life forms in some order for your own purposes could result in exactly this type of abusive corruption," I add quickly. Oma has prepared me for this.

"The Ori empower themselves by sapping the life force of those willing to surrender themselves to them," Orlin says.

"Unknowingly. And this promise of salvation in return…" I say.

"Leads to nothing but death of the most meaningless kind." Orlin demands.

"Because there's no conscious effort to achieve enlightenment without being spoon-fed by the Ori," Daniel says.

"Do the Priors know this? I mean, are they complicit?" Sam asks concerned.

"No. They are merely pawns. The more worlds the Priors convert, the more powerful the Ori become. They must be stopped." He insists.

"Why don't the Ancients, er, Alterans, whatever you call yourselves now…why don't you stop them?" Sam asks concerned.

"I am one of them no longer, and even if I was, it is unclear whether such action would result in victory. Nor is such an endeavor at that level necessarily the next best step to further enlightenment. All I can say for sure is that if this galaxy were to succumb and bow to the Ori, it would be very bad for everyone.

I look at Sam.

"Orlin, there is something I should tell you on a personal level," Sam says. I nod my head at her in approval. "I'm engaged."

What? Jack popped the question? I look at her. She is twisting a diamond ring.

"You're getting married?" he asks gravely.

She nods.

"Sam, that's not all," I prompt.

She closes her eyes for a long time, "Orlin, you once said your race doesn't have offspring," she says looking everywhere but at him.

He fixes his eyes on her, "You are planning to have more offspring with your husband."

"Actually yes," she says. What? Sam and Jack want more kids? "But that's not the point. I've already had a kid since the last time I saw you. Actually about nine months after I saw you."

Orlin doesn't have a reaction, "Sam, I don't think Orlin is familiar with the human gestation period."

Sam breaths a huge breath in, and focuses her eyes on Orlin. "Orlin, you have a son."

His eyes search hers back and forth. "You had a baby."

She nods her head, "He's four years old now."

"Four," Orlin says slowly.

"I named him JD," she says.

"What does that mean?" Orlin asks. She doesn't answer right away. "Do you select names with meaning in your culture."

"She named him after people she thinks are important," I say a little bit self importantly.

"Jonathan Daniel Murray Carter," Sam says. Her eyes well up when she comes to the Carter. She misses her father. "It will be O'Neill before long, so the first name will match the last."

Ok, pretty sure she's not actually talking to Orlin anymore. Orlin tilts her head at her.

"Well," she says, "I named him after the person I'm going to marry. Long before I ever thought of marrying him."

"Jonathan O'Neill," Orlin repeats, "I remember him."

"Yeah, he retired since then so we could be together."

"And now you're getting married."

My head bounces back and forth between them like a tennis match, and I find myself really and truly hoping that no matches hit this powder keg.

"Right."

"And trying to have another baby."

"Right," Sam says.

"Are you not older than most humans when they try to do this."

Oh my gosh. Will Sam kill him.

"At least I'm more than six years older than my son," she snaps.

"I'm sorry to have offended you," he says. Then he takes and puts his hand on her stomach.

"You get that our son isn't in there right now, right?" she asks. "I mean you are four years too late for the baby bump."

"I understand Samantha," he says. And her anger melts away. It's like she looks at him and remembers. This is a guy I once loved.

* * *

Jack

"Jack, how are you doing?" Sam's voice says on the phone.

"Good," I grin, "How is my fiancé?"

She giggles, and I'm not about to tell her no giggling.

"So you just couldn't get enough of me.'

"No, I needed to tell you something came up at work."

"No problem," I expected it. "I already picked up JD from daycare. He'll stay here tonight. I can drop him off again in the morning."

"Thanks but…" she starts.

"No big deal, Sam. I've got it covered. This is what couples do."

"I know but…" she starts.

"Ah..ah…ah, no guilt! Go and save the world."

"Ok," she says hesitantly. "I'll see you later tonight then.

* * *

Sam

"We're hoping that as long as you're here, you may be able to help us," General Landry asks Orlin as we look out at an infirmary full of sick people.

"I no longer possess the power to simply cure this plague as I could have as an ascended being. However, with the knowledge I still retain, I believe I can synthesize a cure using your own medical technology."

"You built a stargate in my basement with spare parts from a toaster," I remind him. Very expensive spare parts, but still.

"Actually, this'll be a little harder than that," he says.

* * *

Orlin is working in a Hasmad suit. I put one on and join him. Everything between us may be incredibly awkward, but we need to put that away to save the world.

God, why didn't he ask to see his son? And why the hell did he touch my stomach. Creepy.

"How's it going?" I ask.

"Basically, I know what I need to make. I just don't have any of the right materials or tools," he says.

"This is the best we have…I can get you a toaster if you need it?"

"Not unless you're hungry for toast."

"Waffle iron?" I offer, "Look, I hate to be pushy, but do you have any kind of a time frame on this?"

"Honestly, time from your perspective is not something I'm all that used to dealing with." Right, that would be why he wasn't involved in his son's live for the past five years. Ok, don't go there right now.

"Is there anything I can do?" I ask.

"You can keep me company," he's got to be kidding?

"Ah, I should probably get home. My…er…our son."

He looks up looking puzzled. "Child rearing requires a lot of work?"

Did he really just turn that into a question? "Yes, it does, but it's worth it."

He nods. "You are…pleased that we produced offspring?"

"Yeah. It was…hard sometimes. But…I love JD. I'm not sorry I had him. But…he has some…unique attributes." He looks seriously at me. "He moves things with him mind. He does that whole emotion sharing thing you do so well."

"So he is gifted," Orlin concludes.

"He's had to live his whole life in secret, because no one can knows about these 'gifts' we can't explain," I snap. Ok, so I'm not as cool and functional about this whole thing as I thought I was.

"I am sorry," he says.

"You didn't even ask to meet him."

Orlin looks taken aback, "Are you not marrying someone who will be like a father to him?"

"Yes, Jack has always been like his Dad. But you actually are. He's your son Orlin."

Orlin looks at me for a long time. I know he's doing that emotion sharing thing. I've gotten really used to it with my son, "Childrearing comes with strong emotions."

"Yeah, and it's a crying shame that you have to feel these emotions through me. You know he's your kid. You could feel that love for real."

"I want to meet him."

Shit I'm going to have to explain this to Jack.

* * *

Jack

"Hey, I didn't expect you tonight," I say kissing Sam. She looks really nervous, "Hey, it's all right. I'll take you any time."

"Jack, there is something I didn't tell you," she flinches.

"Ok, the danger of classified work. That's ok."

"No, Jack, Orlin is back."

Oh, didn't see that coming. People just don't stay dead around here. Which is a good thing, usually. "JD's dad is back in the picture."

"Yeah, he's at the SGC. He got here earlier today. I tried to tell you on the phone."

"Yeah," thinking back on the phone conversation I should have known, "Sam, stop freaking out. It's ok. I trust you. He's the father of your son, you have to spend some time with him."

"Well, it's been more about saving the earth right now."

"You told him he has a son right?"

"Yeah…ah…he didn't have what I'd call a normal human reaction. But he isn't human, so…" she says.

"He's an idiot if he doesn't want to be in that kids life," I say pulling her into a hug.

"Jack, his culture hasn't had children for thousands of years. He doesn't get it. But he wants to see him."

I glance at my watch, "I put him to bed half an hour ago."

She smiles, "I wasn't planning on taking him tonight. I thought tomorrow."

I pull her at arm's length, "You're nervous."

She nods. "His dad doesn't love him. But they have to meet one another. They deserve to meet one another."

"Orlin loves his son," I say.

She shakes her head, and starts to cry. I pull her into a hug. "Well I love him!" She cries harder, "Hey, it's ok. We love him." I touch her chin up, "And I love you."

"Thanks Jack. And thanks for being so understanding about Orlin."

"You know we never got to celebrate our engagement," I say.

"No, and we could start trying for that little one we mentioned, at my age it could take awhile."

She's trying to make a joke, but I see right away it's a real worry for her. I shrug, "If it happens it happens. Sam, either way I'm going to be a very lucky man."

She smiles, "Well, at least you're going to get lucky." And he uses a hand to pull me towards the bedroom, because you know I went so reluctantly.

* * *

Sam

Orin and I enter the cafeteria and pick up trays. Daniel is going to bring JD to meet us in three minutes. God, my son is about to meet his father.

"I have to admit, it's nice being out of that uncomfortable suit for a while. I know I'm vulnerable now as a human, yet I still can't quite get my head around my own frailty."

"Well, you've been at it nearly nine hours straight. You need something to eat."

"I am hungry. Maybe it's just me—it has been a while since I experienced human senses, but this food doesn't smell very good," he says slooping the food around.

"That's because it's not very good," he says taking a bite, "I remember eating pretty well the last time I did this."

And it's so much sweeter, because he isn't trying to flatter me.

Oma said Daniel only gets so many chances, "This is a one-way trip for you this time, isn't it? The Others, they're not going to help you ascend again, are they?"

"I don't think so," he pauses, "I know it must be kind of weird, my appearing this young."

"A little…but I understand," I say taking a bite.

"My only regret in all this is that human social conventions preclude us from showing affection the way I wish I could."

"Excuse me?" I ask.

"My feelings haven't changed for you since we last saw each other, Sam. Maybe in a few years…"

"Hey, I'm getting married. I love Jack, Orlin."

"Right," I says.

"Orlin, five years."

"Is it me, or is this food not very good?" he asks.

I smile, "Are you making a joke?"

"No. It has been a while since I tasted food, but this seems terrible," he says.

"We just talked about that," I say. Oh, man, this keeps getting worse.

"Oh right, I'm sorry. I'm used to hearing my own thoughts in my mind, and sometimes it's hard to distinguish whi-which ones I say out loud…Did I tell you I still have feelings for you?"

"Yes, thank you…yeah, and then I told you that Jack and I are happy. So, let's just focus on the kids we have together."

* * *

JD

"Hi mom," I say cheerfully.

"Sweetie," she says picking me up and squeezing me a little bit too tight.

"Danny showed me your office," I offer.

"Honey, there is someone I want you to meet," she says bending down on one knee. "You remember when we talked about your Daddy?"

I nod my head, "He died saving you, and never even knew I was going to be bornded."

"Born sweetie," she corrects.

"Right."

"Well, honey, it's a little complicated, but your dad didn't die so much as ascend. His body turned into energy, and he lived as a glowy thing far away. He…ah…came back."

"My dad is alive?"

She nods, and she is looking like something is hurting her.

"But he had to come back as a kid, because kids brains are so much more powerful than other brains. She he's going to look like he is way too young to be your dad."

My head is really starting to hurt.

"Honey, this is Orlin, your father," she says sweeping her hand over to a big kid."

"Hi," he says.

"You're my dad?" I say crinkling up my nose.

He nods.

"Do you play baseball?"

"I don't know any earth games."

"Do you have a cool job like firefighter?"

"I haven't had a job in centuries."

"What is a century?"

"A very long time," Mom breaks in.

"Ok, do you know any good stories?" I ask.

"I…ah…" my dad stammers.

"Honey, not an interrogation," Mom scolds.

"In..ter…" I begin.

"Interrogation, it means you're asking too many questions."

"Can I go to Jack's house until you're done working?" I beg.

"Honey, you need to spend time with your dad, while you can," she scolds.

"Where is he going?" I ask.

My dad looks nervously at mom, "I should probably get back to work."

"Hug your son," she says firmly, "and tell him you love him."

My father bends close, and holds me sort of like mom holds puppies and Jack holds cats. Like you're half afraid of them, and half afraid they'll make you dirty. Then he looks at me, "I'm glad you exist JD."

"Love," mom prompts.

"And I love you," he adds.

"Ok, Father," I say.

He smiles as he sets me down. "I have to get back to work. Goodbye Jonathan," he says.

No one has ever called me Jonathan before. But my father did.

"Can I go to Jack's now?" I ask.

"Yeah," Mom says sadly, "Daniel will drive you right?" she asks him.

"No problem Sam," Uncle Daniel says putting a hand on his shoulder. Sometimes I feel like grown-ups speak another language.

* * *

Sam

Well, at least my son seems to be ok with the fact that his father lacks any fatherly emotion from him. But…Orlin, I think he might be dying again. Or at least, something is wrong with them.

I stand at the doorway to my lab and watch him typing, and whipping desperately at his eyes.

"What are you doing? I thought you were going to get some rest," I ask.

"As soon as I finish the DNA sequencing program. That way when we get the sample from the Prior, we can plug in the decoded strand, and we'll know if it's going to help."

He's losing more of his mind every single day. "Orlin, you've already done it."

"What?" he asks surprised.

"The sequencing program. You finished it a couple of hours ago. You were going to get some rest."

"I…was on my way, and…I felt like…I had forgotten something."

Your son maybe, "Orlin?"

"It's okay, I-I'm just tired," Orlin says.

I shake my head, "No, you're not. I want you to go see Dr. Lam."

"I think she has enough to deal with right now."

She does. She has an infirmary full of people with a plague. Maybe none of this matters. Maybe we are just a few days away from the apocalypse.

"Orlin, you're our best hope for finding a cure. We need you to be okay."

* * *

Lam

I've been working so hard to figure out the Prior plague that I haven't even begun to try to figure out what kind of relationship Major Carter has with her baby daddy. But it makes it a little harder to have this conversation. Oh well, it's not like I was ever going to win any awards for best beside mannor.

"It's the most active scan we've seen since your son." I tell her, "That device you brought back from Anubis's genetic lab shows his actual synaptic interaction.

"And?" she asks.

"Looks like pockets of cells are just shutting down. I can't say for certain, but I can hazard a guess they're wearing out from extremely unnatural overuse."

"Well, he said he would lose the memories eventually. The human brain isn't meant to hold that much information."

"This looks worse than that. It's like the cells are literally dying because they can't handle all the synaptic activity."

"What?" she asks sounding kind of panicked.

"Okay, this is way beyond my experience," I hedge.

"Still…" she says not willing to let me qualify my thoughts. She's willing to trust me.

"As you said, the human brain wasn't supposed to be used this way," I tell her. She just nods her head and waits for me to go on, "I don't know if it's conscious or not, but it's possible he's trying to hold onto the knowledge."

"And holding onto that much knowledge is causing brain damage," she says looking at him. She wants to save him for herself, for her son, for the world. Yet, she wants to let him do his work, to save the world.

* * *

Jack

I hear a noise in the middle of the night. I've been on edge ever since I adopted Charlie. I was always a little bit nervous that someday the NID would come for him. My radar is even more alert when JD is staying over. I walk into the kitchen. JD is drinking milk.

"It's supposed to be warm milk," he informs me. He's not surprised about my arriving here. The joys of raising a psychic child.

"You want me to warm it?" I ask.

"I hate warm milk," he says crinkling up his nose, "but it's supposed to be warm. Warm milk makes you sleep."

"So what's giving you trouble sleeping?" I ask him.

"I met my father today," he informs me.

"I know, bud," I say trying to figure out how he feels about this.

"He's…weird," he says. I just sit there silently as he continues, "He doesn't play baseball."

"That doesn't make someone weird, JD."

"No, it was something else that made him weird," he says. "He doesn't get it."

"Get what?" I ask.

"I don't know…get…this," he waves his hands around the kitchen. "If he saw me up at two in the morning he'd probably just tell me to go to bed."

I laugh, "Is it really two?"

He nods, "Jack, I wish you were my Father."

And I can't even hold my tears back, "I wish I was too," I say sitting down so I'm at eye level with him, "From the minute I found out you existed I loved you. I will always love you. And I am so proud of who you are."

"My father said he was glad I existed."

"That's a start," I say. "Do you want cake?"

"Mom says only one dessert a day," he informs me gravely.

"Meeting a father who you don't know is definitely a two desert kind of day."

"Your marrying mom," he informs me.

Usually he only reads emotions, but there are a lot of emotions associated with that, so I'm not surprised. I nod.

"Good," he nods, "and you'll come live with us."

"Well, I don't know where we'll be living, but it will be together," I say ruffling his hair.

"Maybe someplace where sissy gets her own room," he says.

"Cassie doesn't mind sharing a room with you when she comes back from college."

He tilts his head at me, "Not Cassie, Sissy, and babies cry too I don't want to share a room with her."

"What are you talking about?'

He smiles, "You don't know about Sissy, yet," he says dismissively.

* * *

Sam

"Orlin?" I say concerned as he keeps working. Always working. Maybe once that saying work yourself to death isn't going to be an exaggeration.

"Sam. Are you all right?" he asks.

"I'm fine. It's you I'm worried about. We just got your test results back. They show significant and progressive changes in different areas of your brain," I tell him.

"What kind of changes?" he asks.

"A degenerative process that's already started to impair your cognitive functions," I say. I thought about sugar coating it, but how do you make the fact that he's losing his mind any less blunt.

"I knew that when I took on human form, the memories I brought with me would eventually fade," he says.

"That's only part of it. I mean it's not so much a result of you losing the memories, but more a consequence of your trying to hold onto them. Orlin, by not letting go of the Ancient knowledge, you're damaging your brain," I say pleading with him.

"Yes. My human mind if failing under the…weight of so much information."

"You knew this would happen, didn't you? As an Ancient, how could you not have known?"

"Of course I knew, Sam. But I had no choice."

"But you have a choice now! Your brain is fighting a losing battle, stripping away whatever it can in an attempt to salvage the memories related to the cure. Give them up, and you could stop this from progressing any further."

"I can't do that. There's too much at stake."

"You have the memories. Write them down. Give me the instructions. I'll complete the vaccine."

"It's too complex. You won't fully understand the process."

"Try me! Orlin, you don't have to sacrifice yourself! Let go, before it's too late."

"I can't risk entrusting this job to anyone but myself. I have to see this through, Sam. I'm sorry."

"Your son needs you," I sob.

"He has Jack."

"Jack isn't his father."

He tilts his head in confusion, "No, he's better." He's right of course, but that doesn't absolve him.

He's still working. Nothing I've done has even begun to convince him. He's still dying. Choosing to die to save others. Again.

"It's like catching a glimpse of someone from the corner of your eye, then turning around, and they're gone. You begin to actually doubt whether you actually ever saw them in the first place. Tell me, Sam, how can you regret losing a memory you can't even remember?"

I don't know how to answer this question. I shake my head, "What are you working on?"

"Your instructions for assembling the cure in the event I am too incapacitated to complete it myself. It's a…precaution we have to take," he says.

I nod seriously. He point to some papers, "The most frustrating part in all this is that I'm unable to control what I can hold onto, even for a little while. Crucial information I need to finish the cure is slipping through my fingers, while insignificant minutiae of my experience as an Ancient is still fresh and clear in my mind. In time, I'll lose it all, but for now, it just doesn't seem fair." But he doesn't have any memories of his son in there. He doesn't have any memories of his son at all.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" I ask.

"No. At this point, it's best if I work alone."

* * *

Sam

"Sissy likes ice cream," JD says gravely as Orlin, JD, Jack, and I go out to a restaurant for dinner. Not only does Orlin need a break, but he defiantly some real food.

"Who is Sissy?" Orlin asks.

I have no clue, and I thought he was the one who didn't know our son.

"Imaginary friend, I think," Jack offers with a shrug sitting down next to us.

"No, Sissy is growing in Mommy's stomach," JD says like we're stupid.

Jack glances at me wide eyed, I shake my head.

"How do you know that?" Jack asks.

"You don't feel her?" JD asks confused.

"Sure, I didn't know her name, but…" Orlin begins.

"Hold it, I'm pregnant?" I ask.

"Sissy isn't her real name. I call her that," JD explains to which Orlin nods.

"Ok, so you guys have the power to know when I'm pregnant?" I ask.

"We're having a baby?" Jack grins.

Hold it, if they really know I'm pregnant. "How far along am I? How soon can you tell?" I ask.

Orlin doesn't answer. Jack's looking all protective. "I don't understand the question," JD says.

"How old is Sissy?" I ask.

"I knew about Sissy for two weeks," he says.

Orlin meets my eyes, "I can feel them right after they ah…" he looks at the kid, "come to be."

"Jack can you take JD to have ice cream in my lab, please?" I ask.

He nods, but I can tell he doesn't actually want to leave.

"So you knew about JD?" I ask. He doesn't say anything, "All this time I figured…you didn't know."

"You had to realize that I would know about him after I ascended," Orlin says.

"Why didn't you mention it when you were still alive? Say, hey Sam, by the way I knocked you up."

"I'm not familiar with those words…"

"You had a kid, and you knew him. In that weird way that JD already knows his sister. You knew what he likes, and what he doesn't like. You knew him, and you left him. For a good reason. You saved people's lives. But you could have descended at any moment. Any moment, and you could have come to be with him."

"Sam, I'm sorry. I didn't realize this would be so offensive to you," he says.

"Sissy…" so not a preeminent name for my daughter, "she's Jack's right?" I ask nervously.

"Sam, I don't know that much about this infant."

Smooth, go ahead and call the mother of your child a slut. "I mean…when you touched my stomach."

"Human females only produce eggs before birth. I reactivated the cells that produce them."

"And that's all you had to do with this kid?"

He nods.

"Well, thanks for JD. I'm sorry you missed out on knowing your son."

* * *

Jack

"You're sure you don't want me to go with you?" I ask her. Orlin created a cure to the Prior plague, but in order to do it he had to lose all of his memories. The SGC set him up at a nice nursing home. Sam is preparing to visit him for the first time.

"I'm not even sure I should bring JD."

"It's his dad, and he's eerily ok with it," I point out.

"I know, I guess it's because he has such a good dad already," she says giving me a kiss.

* * *

Sam

Orlin is doing a jigsaw puzzle. "Hello."

"Hi. Who are you?"

"My name's Samantha." I say, "Do you need help with this?"

"Sure."

I sit down. "This is JD."

"Hi," JD says smiling.

"I finished the outside, so you can help me with the inside?" Orlin asks.

"Okay." JD says.

And really, that is about all the emotional connection the two of them are capable of. Maybe this whole memory loss is a good thing.


	32. Ripple Effect

Sam from this story

Daniel walks into my lab. "Hey, I just wanted to let you know that the remainder of SG-1 is taking off."

"Thanks," I say.

"Are you bummed that Sissy has grounded you?" he asks.

"We have got to name her," I say, "and I'm fine with it. I've been grounded before."

"We'll make it back for the wedding," Daniel says. Jack and I have decided on a low-key wedding in a week.

"I'm counting on it," I say with a smile.

* * *

Walter from the reality of the television show NOT this story

The klaxons blare. We aren't expecting anyone back, and we already have two extra SG-1s, so goodness only knows what is going to be coming through this time.

"What do you have for me now, Walter?" The General asks. He's my fourth General. I miss Hammond. But I get to do a lot more than I did when Hammond was in charge of this place. I practically run it now.

"Sir, it's SG-1's IDC…again. Do you want me to send confirmation?" I ask.

"We have enough SG-1s," he says with a sigh.

"Receiving radio transmission."

"Let's hear it."

Mitchel's voice comes over the radio, "We're under fire."

He sighs, "Open it up again."

Another SG-1 comes through the gate. This one includes Dr. Jackson, Teal'c, and Colonel Mitchell. SG-1 without Samantha Carter? How are they still alive?

* * *

Daniel from the reality of this story

A million Carters! I bet Jack is going to really hate that he missed this. This would pretty much be his dream. There are no spare Sha're's here. Although in some of these realities, I'm dating a girl name Vala. She's…not like my wife.

"So, have you begun to find out…?"

* * *

"Which Daniel are you?" I ask. We should have nametags. But we'd have to start naming the realities or something, and that could get complicated.

"Ah…I'm not the one from this reality, and I'm not your Daniel," he says with a wave of his hand.

"Ah, and your team was the typical?"

"What is typical?"

"Mitchell, Teal'c, you, me," I explain. That's the most likely, statistically.

"Ah, actually you're not here," he stammers.

"Why?" she asks.

"Maternity leave," he says.

"I have a kid?" She says sounding like it is pretty much the most impossible thing that she's ever heard of.

"Four," he says.

"What!" I practically scream.

He laughs, "In my world you adopted Cassie, and Jack adopted Charlie. Then you and Orlin had JD. Now you married Jack, and you're expecting your daughter."

"I don't even know where to begin on that one!" I say.

"Ah, you're with Jack right?" he asks concerned.

I shake my head.

"You really should be."

I laugh. Although the whole Jack and Sam relationship count is a touch more statistically significant than the current composition of SG-1.

"You guys are so great together."

"Charlie?" I ask. Who was he talking about?

"Ah, in my reality, we had a run in with the Reetou, and…"

Oh, that kid did call himself Charlie, "Ah, in my reality that kid became a Tok'ra.'

"Well, after Jack found out he was a clone," he stops when he sees my eyes nearly bulging out of my head. "You mean Jack didn't know that Charlie was his clone?"

"If he did he never brought it up."

"Ah," Daniel says, looking bewildered, "And you're probably from one of those realities where I didn't take care of Shifu."

I nod my head.

"Apparently I'm a jerk in most realities."

"No," I say shaking my head hard, "You are a wonderful person. You would give up your life for someone you don't even know."

"And yet, I didn't man up and raise my kid."

"Don't be so hard on yourself. So Orlin and I had a kid?" I ask in surprise. Daniel nods. "He'd be like…" I say doing the math.

"Approaching three."

"I have a three year old in another reality, what…what's he like?"

"Well a psychic telepathic empath who makes people he doesn't like throw up with his mind."

I raise my eyebrows.

"That made him sound not so great," he says, "He's a great kid. Opinionated. Strong. Smart."

"And then Jack and I are having another kid?" I ask.

"Yeah, well the first one for you two. You got married about the time Orlin came back as a kid."

I grin, "That must have been awkward."

"Oh, yeah," Daniel says. This whole experience is beyond bizarre. It's like a look into all the things that could have been. All of the Samantha's that I am not. And it turns out I finally have the answer to a question I have never quite dared to ask.

Could I be a mother and save the world? Can I be Doctor/Colonel Carter, and still be a wife and mother? I could. So the fact that I didn't? Cassie could have been mine. Reetou Charlie could have been mine. I could have had two other kids. Jack could have been mine. I am so stupid.

* * *

Sam of the reality of this story

I pull Daniel into a huge hug. "Where have you guys been?" I ask, "They searched that whole planet.

"We were in another reality," Teal'c informs me as I pull the Jaffa into a hug.

"How did that happen?" I ask.

"Apparently there was one version of us that was evil. So they did some funky thing with space time, and we were all pulled into this other place," Daniel explains.

"We are going to have a really long debrief," Mitchell says with a sigh, "We have the intel on a lot of different realities."

* * *

Jack from the reality of this story

I really wish I had been on this mission. Seriously? Twenty-eight Samantha Carters? Oh, this is the stuff of dreams.

"So, what did you find out about the twenty-eight Samantha's?" I ask her with a grin.

She rolls her eyes, "I don't know why everyone seems to be so fascinated by these alternate realities, they don't have anything to do with us."

"So, you're trying to tell me that I wasn't in a lot of these Samantha's lives?" I ask.

She smiles, "Eighty percent were romantically involved with Jack O'Neill. But," she says putting her hand on her stomach, "We were one of only three to have kids."

"We are the lucky ones," I say planting a kiss first on her cheek, and then on her belly.


	33. Epilogue

Grace

"Sissy," JD says cheerfully, "Welcome to the P2X-392."

"I have told you for twenty-two years that you shouldn't call me that," I remind him.

"Actually you didn't talk for the first year of your life, Sissy," he says. My brother is possibly the most stubborn person that has ever lived. He is unphased by the fact that I always hated my nickname. That was what he declared me as being nine months before I was born and that is what I will always be to him.

"Hey, Little Sis," Charlie says. All of my older siblings work at the Alpha sight. And now I am coming to join them. Who would have thought that an off-world base would become the family business.

Cassie is the next in line to give me a hug.

"Hey, what are you doing at work; I thought you were still taking time off?" I say looking pointedly at her rather large stomach.

She smiles, "I am taking some time off. Hanging out with my kids. But Rya'c is staying home with them today while I go and greet my little sister."

"It's good to see you." I haven't seen Cassie much in the last six years. She's had two kids in that time, and is now expecting a third. That means that she hasn't been up for gate travel, pretty much at all. So she hasn't been there for any holidays. I've been too busy to visit my siblings for a long time.

"So what's new on this planet?" I ask.

"I'm going to be a father," Charlie says.

"Congratulations!" I exclaim. Charlie has been married for four years, but his wife Tasha has been reluctant to have kids. She's a career woman through and through. But she's softened up to kids by being an auntie to Cassie's brood.

"And I'm getting married," JD says with a grin.

"Laura?" I ask.

"Of course," he says.

"Good, I like her."

"So how are things going for you little sis?" Cassie teases, "Are you planning on helping us expand our family any time soon?"

I bite my lip. I just broke up with my college boyfriend. I'm leaving and I don't know when I'll be back. You can't call me. But I still love you though we have been through a pretty hard spell. It's not like I blame James. I mean…I'm going across the galaxy to reverse engineer ancient technology.

It was hard enough when I couldn't tell him where my siblings were or what my parents did for a living. It's a lot harder when I couldn't tell him what my after-college job was.

"Top secret bites," JD says pulling me into a close hug. At times, it's really annoying to have a brother who always knows what emotions you are feeling. Other times it's actually pretty nice.

"So…" Cassie says with a smile.

"Yes, I brought coffee and chocolate," I say handing over the bag of goodies.

"I love being off world, but there is a down side," Charlie grumbles.

"Ah, you can't have the coffee," JD says greedily to Cassie.

"I brought decaf," I assure her.

"And for that you get the big room."

* * *

It was the last few minutes before sleep, or the first few minutes of sleep, you can never be sure. I had been worried that I would be homesick here. But, I was finding that I had in some ways been homesick all my life long, until now. I was not really a creature of earth. I was ready for the next step in my life.

And in the first few seconds of sleep, or maybe it was the last few minutes of wakefulness, I saw in a flash, a million universes. A million universes, and a million Graces, living a million different lives.


End file.
